Every couple hits the wall of less or no sex in their love life at least once. That time period is difficult to pass for both of the partners. A lot of factors like hesitation, shyness, embarrassment or stubbornness start jumping in to make it harder for either one or both of the partners to set things straight with each other and hinder them from telling their true feelings and desires. The most prominent of these desires is the chance to have more and frequent sexual engagement with your partner.
We often see the couples having perfect relationships in the movies and we always see them having sex one day after another like it’s nothing unusual and out of ordinary routine for them. We see them making love in perfect synchronization while they look at each other and we see them climaxing at the same time and at the very same exact moment. Their climax timings remind you of the accuracy of clockwork like how it moves with the deadly accuracy. Accuracy of never having an error of even a single microsecond. We love them when we see them in the movies and we wish our love lives to be either be exactly the same. Those deadly accurate simultaneous orgasms can be a little hard to achieve in the real life but the idea behind those moments can be achieved. Well, that idea is to have more and frequent engagement in the sexual intercourse or in other words, having more sex than usual with your partner.
There are many a things which can be done to convince your partner to have more sexual engagements and some of them are shown just below, but there are some things or habits that should be avoided or stopped to start the cycle of a perfect sexual relation.
The Wrong Approach
Pick anything in the world, anything can be done in two ways. Both of these ways are extremes to one another. It may be a professional dealing, a social matter or your love life. There are always two ways of handling matters, which are the right way and the wrong way. The getting not enough sex for your satisfaction also depends on this choice.
An urologist and the founder of the Cedars-Sinai Tower Urology Medical Group in Los Angeles, Dr. Dudley Danoff, discloses that men have much higher desire of sexual engagements than women on average, which is the reason of unsatisfactory amount of sex for men which is a common problem among them.
So when the men do not get the as much sex as they want to, they try to repress their feelings and sexual desires in a fear of a total rejection which is the absolute wrong way of going about it this matter. This approach could slowly stop you from all the shows of affection and may even force to look for sex somewhere else, with that, I mean they start cheating, which could totally ruin your love life. Well, not just love life, it destroys relations completely. So hiding those feelings would do no good.
Never Ever Fake It
In the bed, couples fake orgasms at times to satisfy their partners. This problem is usually found in women who fake their orgasms in consideration of the feelings of their male partners while they themselves at that time have not climaxed. The female partners may be doing this to spare the feelings of their male partners but they are in fact slowly distancing themselves from the sexual engagements in love life by showing this cruel mercy. What’s the point of having sex if you are not enjoying it so never fake your orgasms, but instead try other approaches to deal with this issue like using sex toys to help speed up your climaxing or asking your partner to help you finish first.
How It Should Be Done
The right way of bringing more sex back into your love life, like it was at the start of the relationship, is to rekindle the flame of the sex which is either burning low or has been extinguished. There are several ways to provide that much needed spark. Bring adventures to your sex lives. Make this thing an anticipated one. Bring the excitement factor back to sex.
Talk to Him /Her
The very first step is for the both partners to know about each other’s desire and feelings and the best way of doing that is honest communication. The sexual partners need to be aware of the things that will excite them and thus they should talk openly about their needs and about the dependencies in their desired levels. They should educate each other about what they want to do and they should do. He or she may yet not understand the importance of sexual activity in overall happiness of the other partner.
Communication with a positive Attitude
The biggest problems arise with the introduction of communication barrier between any couple. It is one of the most common problem between partners nowadays. Communication is not just verbal sharing, it involves transmitting and absorption of feelings as well. Communication without a positive approach, or it is affair to say positive attitude, is meaningless. Your partner needs to realize the importance of his/ her presence in your life. Talk about sex. Discuss its importance. Your attitude makes a huge difference in making your partner understand your point. A positive attitude will help your partner to understand your needs and your sexual desires.
Focus On What Excites You
The communication between you and your partner doesn’t have to start with negative remarks pointing out what you do not like about what he/she does. This approach only worsen the matters and you will be left even further away from your goal of procuring more sexual engagements. Instead, adopt approaches like what you like about, what your partner does for you in bed and what do you want more and how much of it do you want more. Starting with praising his/her work for you in the bed serves as a pep talk for your partner and opens him to your opinions for further suggestions on improving the experience in bed for both of you. Appreciations and compliments are the best method of setting the stage for main objectives. Who doesn’t love being praised? Use it as an advantage for your love life.
Never Assume Anything
Stop assuming, start doing. Assumptions is the last thing you want to include in your love life. For example, the female partner loves to receive oral sex but always hesitates assuming that her male partner does not like to give her an oral sex. The facts may be completely opposite and it may be that he doesn’t mind one bit to do it for her if she enjoys it. The best course of action is to ask your partner about anything that bothers you or make a statement revealing what you enjoy the most and ask about their opinion on the matter. Start playing confession games. Start talking dirty. This will clear those misunderstandings and distances, which were created because of assumptions.
Never Expect To Receive It Just Because You Are Partners
One of the fastest ways to make your partners lose interest in you is the kind thinking like expecting to have sexual intercourse just because of being a couple and taking sex for granted which is the most foolish behavior a couple can have. Just because you have entered in a relationship doesn’t mean that you will stop loving them just as proactively as you did before. Love is the key. Stop setting the ground rules. Make sex an integral part of your routines. The interest will never be elevated unless you start showing affection and love. Your partner needs to know it. It is not a demanding situation. These kinds of things always require work. If you stop showing results and stop showing your value at your job, you will not get paid. Relationships work the exact same way.
Compromises are vital in any relationship and are the key contributing factors in any relationship. Any relationship progresses with the help of the compromises because both the partners are human beings and each have their own needs and preferences. For example, if one of the partners wants to have sex twice or more during a week while the other partner wants it less, then the perfect solution, for both of them, would be to find a compromise like having sex once every week or so. This compromise may not satisfy the either or both of the partners but it is much better than only one partner enjoying while the other partner not enjoying it at all.
Have a Playful Attitude
Sex can sometimes be intense but it doesn’t always to be serious. It can be kept light while maintaining a playful attitude during sex. This can be done by increasing the interest of your partner in the sex by letting him or her have fun and explore that moment and lose yourself in that moment. You have to get that weird and playful person out in the open with your partner.
Eye contact may sound weird at first but the eye contact during the sex can really lighten the mood and will increase the heat and intensity of the sex. One crazy sex experience can make you want for more. So maintaining the eye contact can increase the affections between the partners and will make them want to have sex again and again.
Focus on the Partner during Sex
Didn’t we all love the first date and anticipation of first sex? This is it. Bring that feeling back to your life. Sex is a big thing. Make it a big one every time you are in the bed with your partner. Focus on your partner. Keep your focus on your partner during sex and make them feel important and attractive instead focusing solely on satisfying yourself. This way, your partner will enjoy the sex as much as you do and will always want to engage in more sex than he or she usually does. Exceed their expectations by taking proper care of them during sex so that they may want to initiate the sex themselves the next time they get turned on.
- Huff Post – When You Want Sex and Your Partner Doesn’t
- New Health Advisor – Husband Doesn’t Want to Have Sex
- Shape – 9 Ways to Sex Up Your Relationship
- The Stir – 9 Ways to Heat Up Your Connection in the Bedroom
- The Alpha Next Door – How to motivate your girlfriend to have sex more often.
- Alternet – 6 Things to Try If You Want Sex More Than Your Partner Does
- Chicks Love Me – How to Get Your Girlfriend to Want More Sex With You
- Jordan Gray Consulting – How To Get Your Partner To Initiate Sex More Often
- YourTango – 4 Tips For Women On How To Get Him To Initiate Sex More Often
- Sexuality and U – One wants sex more than the other