Causal Sex – Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

girls kissing

by . Ward

Did you find what you were looking for online this weekend? Did you set up any dates via online dating websites?

Did you get lucky this weekend at all? Did you meet new people? Did you chat to at least ONE hot stranger? Did you get rejected?


Did you sit at home and dream about what could have been…

The sad thing is that MOST guys would have planned on meeting women but just never got round to it…

They might have got to drunk and turned OFF every girl in the bar…
They might have dropped the ball and not approached the girl who was flirting with him across the room.

Or the saddest one… The never got out of the house all weekend.

If you want to have a night of amazing sex with a women you just met (that’s HER IDEA) you cant afford to be any of the guys above… you got to get out their and make it happen.

Learning the hard of arrogant teasing and playfulness can be really tough if it doesn’t come naturally but EVERY guy and girl can learn it.

Are you the guy who tries to “get lucky”?

These dudes are not actually serious about finding an attractive women – all they care about is chasing the first piece of meet that gives them the slightest bit of attention.

Apart from this being extremely unattractive to women it says little about your self esteem.

Amazing sexual encounters are not planned or forced… They are almost ALWAYS the womens idea and they happen naturally.

There is an electric and playful dialogue between girl and guy throughout the night and due to constant flirting and escalation, sex is a natural progression.

Do not thing that casual sex will just happen “out of the blue”…

Even though it’s casual sex and even if it’s set up online it’s still a very personal and private act. You are sharing each others bodies and this requires a huge amount of trust building.

In most cases – great casual sex comes when your not actively looking for it (obviously – that would be creepy… but this is what guys try to do) but just happy and confidently doing your own thing. By doing this you draw the crowd!

It might be chatting with your mates, playing pool, having dinner or just hanging out in a bar.

The reality is that guys end up screwing up the potential of future sex with a women that approached them by saying something really STUPID.

Are you talking yourself OUT of the bedroom instead if into it? Women will do all the talking (I’m sure your aware of that) so why blabber on about your job promotion or how pretty you think she looks?

1. Be Natural – Listen

It’s not about predicting what you THINK she wants to hear – if you actually listen to what she has to say then the next topic of conversation should be natural…

2. Don’t be a Predator

Don’t go actively looking for women that you think would be up for it. Be open to the possibilities that WILL arise if your naturally having a good time but don’t force them to happen. When you are in this mindset everything seems forced and un-natural.

Be a gentleman and act like you could take it or leave it… Be interesting in what they have to say but not so interested that it looks like your going to exploded if you don’t get her in the sack in 2 hours. Women have to feel safe in your arms – not violated.

3. Actively Listen

The more you respond and engage with her the more interested she will be in taking things further. Find yourself TALKING to much? STOP – you might just be talking yourself OUT of bed with her later.

4. It Can Wait

You don’t have to jump her bones tonight – most guys would if the had the slightest chance (which is why they never get that chance in the first place)…

Treat her well and you will find her texting you the very next day… Because you didn’t get drunk the night before you feel amazing and might recommend a walk in the park.

If the chemistry is still there she will be very interested in getting you home. By waiting and waiting you make the intimacy 10X better PLUS you get to enjoy the amazing flirting and teasing phase of lovemaking.

5. Casual Sex Online

These tips are focused on nights out – what if you are meeting someone from say and you know what is on their mind already?

Well depending on how seasoned they are the above tips still work VERY well. If you happen to get into contact with a girl online for casual encounters offline they will be EXPECTING you to be keen to jump them immediately.

This could be fun in certain circumstances but if your meeting in town you will need to build trust and repoir(a relationship based on trust and emotional affinity)

You have a massive leg up if you have organised a meeting with someone you know is already keen to hop on the good foot and do the bad thing. But expect that you’ll still need to pull some strings.

It’s all about trust and mutual emotional connection – if she is not feeling it then you wont be “getting lucky” tonight despite what she said online.

10 “New” Rules Of Dating: Updated Edition

Online Dating Rule #1

Modern Communication such as text and facbook messaging are fast becoming the norm. If you are not up with the new technology you will eventually be left behind.

Facebook is easily integratable with most paid dating platforms and allows you to transfer images information from one platform to the other.

Understanding how to use technology will enable your online dating experience to be fast and efficient. Nobody likes a slow texter! If you can type quickly you might also want to try testing and improving your typing speed at

You can always get around these types of issues by emailing and using video chat but many singles online will want to chat in chat windows.

Smart phones are on the rise and being able to use one efficiently will at least put you on a level playing field.

Online Dating Rule #2

If you snooze you lose… If you leave it a week before contacting your date again assume that she has been emailed by someone else and may have even set up other dates!

Let your date know the next day or at least within 3 days that you are interested in hanging out again.

Online Dating Rule #3

Online avatars are a cool way of keeping your presence online anonymous until you want to expose yourself to others.

At least be aware that you should not leak your real address on a dating site because once it goes live and someone gets hold of it there is not much you can do about it.

The pictures you post on dating and social media sites like face book are private to your friends but you never know who private they really are.

One friend turned bad could swipe some of the images you don’t want to be shared. The internet is written in ink.

Drunk texting and tweeting is also a no go zone so make sure you think before you post something in a public manner.

Online Dating Rule #4

Even if you have been “seeing” someone for a few months do not assume that you are the only one on their mind. The modern day dating scene is far more relaxed than it used to be – setting up multiple dates for week is not uncommon.

If you think your heart is getting a little to attached to quickly – let them know how your feeling and ask them what there up to outside your meetings.

Online Dating Rule #5

Don’t assume that they are interested in marriage and kids just because they mentioned “serious relationship”.

The classic marriage with 3 kids model is a great one and should be celebrated but not everyone is so hasty to jump into marriage these days.

You can choose to be in an exclusive monogamous relationship without marriage… and keep in mind that kids may not be on his mind.

Online Dating Rule #6

You can look amazing and expect great dating experiences even if your 45+… don’t let your age get the better of you. Lay of the alcohol and cigarettes and enjoy a long prosperous love life. It’s exiting to know that you can widen your age expectations and enjoy some cougar or silver fox experiences.

Online Dating Rule #7

Who pays?

It’s ok to let a women pay half or even full if they want to… They would rather that you paid for it but the classic gender roles are easing up…

It really comes down to the person – a women might want to pay half to keep things fair and so that the relationship doesn’t get to serious to soon.

She might not want you expect something later that night just because you paid for dinner.

Online Dating Rule #8

Dating games and nervous flirting can be fun – but to often it will lead to NO DATE at the end of the night… If you want her – go out and get her.

You have to let her know that your interested… the days of sitting around and hesitating are over. Take charge and tell them how you feel.

Online Dating Rule #9

User data is online and just like wiki leaks the good bad and ugly areas of your past could be revealed for all to see.

All the more reason to be honest from the start about what your about… Your date might know more about you than you would like to think!

Online Dating Rule #10

Ethnic barriers are being blown apart with niche dating sites allowing all races to mingle and find love.

There are still strong differences in values, cultural backgrounds and dating preferences but thanks the internet these are becoming better understood by the general population.

Ethinicity is very important to everyone but thankfully (for most) it wont deter them when it comes to love.

Darwinian Dating Advice: The Alpha Vs The Nice Guy

Even if women wanted to be with the nice guy they really don’t have any choice when it comes to attraction.

If you’re the nutless apologetic type that is always trying to please a women your going to want to take a look at your current dating success.

Hows it going for you? Let me guess – terribly?

You might have a bunch of friends that are girls, but no girls that are dying to jump in the sack with you …
by Ton Haex

Women are looking for the protector and provider. This is becoming difficult to see in the ever-changing and technologically advanced world we live in but attraction is still being driven by the same part of the brain.

Metaphors for being able to provide and protect have evolved over time BUT our need has not. You know longer need to be able to fight for mating rights…

but that doesn’t mean a muscular body is not attractive…

You still need to be able to provide adequate food and shelter for your “tribe” which in today’s economy equates to financial security of some sort… hence men with money are attractive.

Now money is a funny old thing – because it’s a recent invention of man (relatively speaking) and can get a little confusing when your talking about attracting women. The money itself is not attractive to girls it’s YOUR ability to use it to be powerful and protective.

Of course you can be powerful and protective without money it just becomes harder and harder to do so.

A women can get a ton of attention from a guy and not want to date him (even if he is attractive and has money)… Confusing right?

Women are attracted to masculinity… Just like we are attracted to femineity.

So how does a masculine man act?

  • He has an opinion of his own that is independent of others
  • He makes rational and important decisions quickly and easily
  • He take control of situations and resolves disputes
  • He doesn’t apologize for being who he is.
  • He’s not a “nice guy”
  • He walks with his head up and shoulders back because he is proud of his accomplishments.
  • He makes women laugh

Have you noticed that the “nice guy” never really knows what he wants to do with his life? He is “nice” but that’s about all he has going for him… He is nice to be around and is nice company but he is not GREAT company and the life of the party – he doesn’t control conversation or make important decisions because he is just the nice guy.

Well masculine men that attract beautiful women are NOT nice guys – they might be nice to their aunts and parents but when it comes to competition and women they are know what they want.

Nice guys have no clue – they are hesitant and often a little scared (typically)

They might end up with a “nice” below average looking girl that has no clue what she wants out of life either.


Masculine men act a certain way: even if you are not the man you want to be yet there is still time and ANY guy can be the dominant male… you just have to set up some good routines.

Physical exercise every day (50 push ups)
Teasing girls in a cocky funny somewhat arrogant manner
Masculine dominant men are in control of their “destiny” because they pursue written goals every day without fail.

They have the confidence to do what they want despite fear

They do not give up their power to women (who are constantly testing you to see if you will)

How quickly do you give up your power? How easily do you allow women to take control of a situation? Do you stand back and let things happen?

If you don’t feel comfortable taking control that’s o.k. – you are just trying to control something that is out of your control OR you don’t feel confident with it.

Find a niche or task you love doing and you will feel confident taking charge of. Be around friends that give you strength and confidence.

Being less WUSSY and more ALPHA does not mean you become a jerk.. It means you become more of YOU.

You may think I’m talking B.S right now but you will know what I am talking about once you feel it. It’s a centralised source sense of power that will get you laid time and time again.

Before you get into this – make sure you have your values straight. You still believe in justice and goodwill and being fair – but you know simply have the confidence to go out and GET what you want.

Oasis Active And Other Strange Phenomenon

Free online dating sites are growing in popularity every day – sites like oasis active and plenty of fish continue to introduce new features and iron out login problems and connection issues.

Paid dating sites such as and eHarmony are unquestionable better as far as professionalism and user quality but you get what you pay for. when you are locked into a monthly online dating plan you Expect that the site should get you dates.

Many sites guarantee that you will find someone special witin 3 months or you either get your money back or they let you use the site free until you find someone.

If your budget is tight (true for most people these days) then free online dating sites like are your best option… Reaching out to friends of friends via facebook is also a great idea if your looking to expand your social circle.

The trouble many people have with free sites is not actually getting any replies from the users. Perhaps there is only 30-40 singles in your area and a handful are dating material… what then? Many profiles within free dating sites are inactive or they have not logged on in months.

If you are not having much luck with a site like oasis active (AUS) okcupid, plenty of fish (US) when searching in your area try your next biggest town… There are always at least hundreds of active profiles in the next biggest city. Obviously you are going to need to travel to see them – always a good excuse for a holiday.

Your next option is going to be paid dating sites. The users on theses sites are MUCH more responsive and active than most of the free dating sites – if you are serious about finding someone special then coughing up 20-30 dollars is nothing. It will likely only take you a month or two to get in touch with the eligible singes on the site.

BY then you should have their contact info and gone on a least a couple of great dates.

The reason why dating sites and even facebook has become so popular is because of the huge emotional need we all have… Connection and Love

It doesnt take long to feel alone when you become isolated from your peer group. Maybe you left town for work and dont know anyone in the city, those of use who find making new “real” friends tough now have an amazing easy to use tool to help.

Rather than thinking of online dating sites as weird seedy places of the net, think of them as great meeting places and social gatherings. They are just a place to meet new people.

The trick is being able to come across as honest and open as possible… There are several stigmas and stereotypes of male daters online and you have to work against that.

Using free sites and working off the back off a solid approachable profile is a great start… From there it’s all up to you. Just be yourself and play a numbers game.

Many female members wont be interested in replying and treating this as part of the deal is recommended.

Start off your oasis active online dating adventures on the right foot: with a real profile picture and real honest descriptions of yourself…

This way members wont feel threatened by your anonymous nature… if you have nothing to hide you become 100% approachable and that much more attractive as a result. Even if you don’t think your “hot” or “bf material” it pays to be honest from the beginning.

Finally: Dont expect that online dating is going to be your saving grace… It’s not supposed to be a substitute for social interaction… working on your communication skills and emotional connectedness is crucial if you want to maintain a healthy relationship…

Understanding emotions is a underrated skill… those with empathy for others have the ability to be confident while still remaining respectful.

Work on being more self aware – meaning be aware of how your actions and words are influencing the people you connect with in your life.

This allows you to pick up on negative and positive responses you receive and adapt your “game” to what works. It’s crucial that you understand little character flaws you might have – it’s ok (actually a strength) to accept these and be honest and open about them with your date.

They will thank you for letting them know this could be a future problem and will likely open up about there own “ism’s” e.g.(workaholics, alcoholism and various small addictions that everyone in life picks up to some degree.

So go ahead and hit up sites like oasis active – be aware that everyone on the site is different and unique as you are. Start off with an open friendly approachable profile and who knows… you might just find the love of your life.

Attracting Women: It’s Not About The Conversation

You will have heard – pick up lines are dead

You might be aware that what you say to a women is not really that important…

Let’s take things a little further. What if I was to said to you right now It’s not about the conversation at all!

would you believe me? would you believe that as long as you don’t say anything really dumb like “your fat” or “your ugly” it actually doesn’t matter what you say providing you have “x”.

“x” being the secret that most men will never learn

Don’t worry I can back up this argument.

What I mean here is that your success with women has almost nothing do to with your conversation with her – sound crazy to you?

Well it is a bit weird… You have been told that you need lines and phrases to woo her heart – and words and phrases sure help, but there is something infinitely more powerful
that you are NOT using right now.

You see, deep down we are all mammals and it helps to understand which part of the brain ATTRACTION and sexual desire are sourced from. You need to understand the beast before you can slay it right?…pun intended.

Women really are like us… they have to act a certain way in society but they ARE driven by similar needs to survive and reproduce.

You may be GREAT at chatting to girls and STILL not have a girlfriend… you are missing something and you know it. You have no life or “mojo”

Guys (especially gay guys) are amazing when it comes to talking to women, yet ask his friends if any of them would actually go out with the guy and almost all of them would hesitate and say… yeh I might but I’ve never really thought of him in that way.

A few women would say yes for the sex or just think that they SHOULD like him because he really is connecting and communicating very well with her. The reality is that ALL of them are NOT attracted to this guy. Despite his amazing social skills – Despite his boyish good looks and despite his talents he is just not “doing” it for them.


Why is this guy not able to attract women and get a girlfriend despite his great efforts…and he really IS trying hard.

At this point in your life you might have:

  • A few great stories that always make groups of people laugh
  • A relaxed easy going attitude
  • Solid personality and confidence
  • Practice has made you great in different social situations
  • Social intelligence?
  • Enthusiasm to tell jokes with animation

But what really counts is:

  • your intention,
  • your emotions,
  • confidence,
  • your tenure,

the whole vibe or “energy” you give off is what your really communicating to people

Ever wondered how animals communicate when they cannot actually speak like we humans do?

I would urge you to NOT underestimate the power of subconscious communication and body language.

Ever listened to a person and been utterly enthralled (even turned on) by them? In some rare cases they might even be speaking in a monotone voice…

But it’s the energy and body ques that you are picking up on. If you don’t transmit emotion and a sense of sexual energy when your attempting to seduce you will have NO chance of picking them up.

I am not talking about seedy emotion (that’s a selfish negative emotion) but positive attractive sexual energy that is dominant and persuasive…

Learn to turn on your source sexual energy and use it persuade and communicate effectively. It’s a LOT to do with holding eye contact and smiling and the emotions that your feeling at the time.

Just being yourself has A LOT of merit – it’s closely related to natural game and it can help you ease the tension and relax but you need more.

When you find yourself tensing up when talking to women (sweaty palms, hot flushes, beating heart) what do you do?

Just being yourself can only get you so far – if your at that point it becomes important to implement damage control…

Get out of the situation (excuse yourself to the bathroom), take off your jacket (anxiety can be linked with body heat triggers), change the subject…

do SOMETHING and try to re-engage back into your high touch emotions that will attract her.

In order to integrate this new information into your social interactions it helps to FORGET about just talking to keep the conversation flowing (like you have been told to do) and FOCUS on something much more important…

focus on the connection you are having with this women

focus on the emotion you and she is conveying (this may involve gently touching her arm from time to time to emphazise your point)


Your purpose should never be about getting her number

It should be about getting to know her on an emotional level… what exactly does this mean?

Good Question:

Here is an example…

Instead of asking her what she does at work or what the next club or bar she is going to you ask her more relevant questions…

But… those are relevant?

Not really – not seduction relevant… (ask yourself when your talking to women… is this question really helping me connect with this women on a deeper level)

Every idiot in town can ask about her day.

What she WANTS you to ask is questions relating to her internal world. Now this can be tough because it’s easy for an amateur to come off as just plain weird asking if a girl cried last night so ease into it ok?

A good easy boomerang question for amateurs is … why?

Why do you dislike your work?

the boss

Why do you dislike your boss?

Because he doesn’t pay me enough

Eventually you should get down to the real reason (and away from work related questions)

She doesn’t like her current life direction and wants to quit and become a singer.

NOW your onto something…

now we have a topic of conversation that you can really use to create a bond with. If you make her cry or get emotion (in a good way) you have sealed the deal…

It doesn’t even matter if you know nothing about the topic in question.

Your purpose should be to connect not interrogate and shoot the pick up line “close”

I understand that every man is different and everyman has a different PURPOSE:

  • Some want deep emotional connections
  • Some want marriage
  • some want company
  • Some want one night stands with drop dead georgoues blonds and plenty of them

Find out what yours is:

– I want to have a good time (because without that, nothing will really work out).
– I want to find a friend with benefits. (f buddy)
– I want to meet fun people.
– I want to find a outdoors type person
– I want a girl that shares my love for automobiles

Become more goal orientated by having a more relevant purpose. Your success with women will follow

Hope it helps


Dating Mastery With Inner Game Tips

When you study relationship psychology for any length of time you realise how important the “inner game” is.

In fact… if you don’t have it, it becomes ALL about the Inner Game.

An example of someone who has little inner game would be a nerdy engineer who has a lot to offer a women but cannot control his emotions around them.

He has a degree of social anxiety and appears fidgety and unrelaxed in the presence of others.

He doesn’t believe he is worthy of attracting good looking girls and settles for below average.

He gives away power to women that do not deserve it and cannot seem to shake this weak attitude he has about himself.

Intellectually he is extremely sound however has little emotional strength.

It is this emotional strength and ability to display and communicate through emotion that he needs to work on.

Being able to switch out of his intellectual mind and establish a deeper emotional connection with people is crucial…

he would dramatically increase his relationships and life experiences as a result.

My realisation is that it’s almost ALL about your INNER game.

Top sports athletes are their because they work hard BUT you don’t see their secret weapon… They have extremely strong will power and emotional fortitude.

It takes a strong will power to get to the top.

However it’s not just the top sports stars – even regional or middle of the road sporting athletes have extremely good emotional strength and inner game.

You can memorise all of the best pick up lines but if you don’t have control of your internal emotions you will never be able to present and display them in an effective manner.

If you think you are controlled by your emotions in social situations then you need to fix this first before anything else.

You see women can see straight through a guy that secretly hates who he is but is just putting on a big show to cover up…

No matter how good a lyer you are… you will never be able to fool them in the long run.

Plus… who wants to lie?

When you become more of yourself you will find it a million times easier to express your true self.

This is what is so attractive anyway so the importance of being yourself should be very clear to you.

Most guys PRETEND when it comes to seducing women ……do you?

In fact it’s not just with seduction it’s when your around any women you find attractive.

Why do you change who you are as soon as you attempt to impress girls?

Because you dont think your real self is good enough – or at least your subconscious believes that if it remains who it is they wont be impressed.

So you have to put on a constant show anytime your around a girl.

This ends up draining your emotional reserves and you come across weak, fake and a little weird.

If you just remained yourself around women and remember your manners, you will have much more success.

Eventually you will find a girl that gets your humour.

Remember – you will never be able to pretend to be cool and confident – you actually have to BE confident… this is why attraction and seduction can be so exiting.

Its so much more than a few lines – it’s real confidence and inner game strength building.

Of course if you want the easy way out then you can keep faking it and see how you go.

The transformation that will get you into bed or in a relationship with the women you want involves eliminating self defeating beliefs and introducing PRIDE and positivity within.

It all sounds a bit wishy washy at this point but we’ll get there.

So write this down:

In order to attract the women I want into my life I need to eliminate

– (your negative emotions here)






and replace them with the GOOD emotions

You actually need to FORCE yourself to think about the positive emotions because for some reason we tend to think about the bad stuff in life even though it’s not helping us.

List down all the things you are proud of and remind yourself everyday of the accomplishments

Unfortunately simply talking to yourself is not going to be enough…

To be a new confident guy you actually need to accomplish!

Meaning you have to set goals and STICK TO THEM for a long period of time.

Simply knowing that you have the power of mind to stick to a task until completion will give you the confidence you need.

Discover YOUR own reason to be happy and positive about life – if this means you must leave your job and pursue a passion then DO it..

Life really is to short to worry about the small stuff. AND IT’S ALL SMALL STUFF.

Working on inner game takes time and effort but the payoffs are invaluable.

You will find everything will click into place once you get that monkey off your back.

So how will inner game help me?

It’s something as simple as: Instead of approaching women in fear you are instead thinking

Any women that I approach in the futre IS FORTUNATE to be talking to ME…because I am wonderful guy that is worthy of attention

Not all women will “get” what your all about but there are so many women out there for you…

change your inner game today and literally get a new life in the process

New positivity, No more anxiety, better posture immediately, positive tonality to your voice, witty humour will come naturally, CONFIDENCE, success in other areas of life

Inner game mastey:

David Deangelo

Pua Training

Love Systems

David Wygant

Big Hat No Cattle – Why Modesty Is Key

Have you ever heard of the saying big hat no cattle?

You don’t want to be referred to like this. This means you are a bit like the jersey shore guys – talk a big game but don’t have the sinker to back it up.

Perhaps you have the flash car but in reality you have a big mortgage on the house and don’t even own the car itself.

You are far from financially secure but what is important to you is ensuring that everyone who sees you thinks that your doing just fine.

What you really want is a lot of cattle and no hat at all. You want to get to a place in your life where you don’t need the external validation from others to feel good about yourself.

You don’t need that new suit, watch or car…

Instead you would rather invest the money you have worked so hard to acquire so that your personal asset list grows rathe than dwindles.

You may think that women are not attracted to the guy with no flashy things to show off.
You may think that without the car clothes and eternal portrayal of success that women will not be attracted to you… Not so.

It is true that there are women very much like (potentially) you right now.

They have bought into consumerism and value a guy that can get that credit card for her so that she can load it up with more debt…

I am telling you that you need to change the demographic and personality of the types of women you are going after. There are many financially wise and frugal business women out there that would be very attracted to a guy who is truly financially secure…

Because what does this mean for her? It means that she is able to live at home and pursue her hobbies, it means she now has time to spend with you and the future *kids*.

Being financially secure and not a fake with glasses to big for his head means that you can choose to travel around the world and truly experience life.

Having “cattle” rather than a big hat means you have freedom. They say that America is the land of opportunity and it is to some extent. The reality is that many people have very little freedom at all. They are forced to work to fee their family and couldn’t go two weeks without ending up flat broke…

Does that sound like an attractive life to you?

If you are willing to sacrifice the big hat in the short term for a life full of experiences and freedom in the future then you have reached a higher level of “being”. Few men have the ability to control themselves enough to become financially secure and therefore always a slave to the work week.

Women ARE attracted to men that are financially secure… you know this as well as anyone. But can you put of short term sexual gratification for a future of being able to choose from any women in the world? How do you think a ugly mug like Donald trump can pull attractive Russian beauties?

Not by signing up to dream marriage that’s for sure.

The good thing is you don’t have to be filthy rich to have very attractive women wanting to date you.

You don’t have to look, smell or breath amazingness either.

All you really need to be is secure enough financially to be able to give a women choices. She doesn’t want the fear of loans and mortgages looming over her. She doesn’t want to see credit card debt being loaded up month after month… It’s amazing the amount of stress that can be relieved by sorting out your issues with money.

Even if you don’t earn a lot of money now you can still be saving and investing.

Do you have the will power to throw away the big hat and start buying cattle for the future? I know it’s a weird analogy but it makes it very clear what you should be thinking about.

Perhaps if you will forget about this advice and get a bigger hat tomorrow. The beauty is that it’s your decision and you have the freedom to make that choice. But maybe….

Just maybe you will realise the benefit of living a stress free, debt free life without the constant obsession with consumerism.

Don’t you think it sucks to have no cattle (nuts) ?

With no cattle you have no power… you understand that power is attraction right?

So the link between increasing your asset column and decreasing your liabilities (cars, debt, payments, mortgages) becomes very clear. Thinking about how your decisions today are shaping your future ability to attract the right people into your life in the future is critical.

Hopefully now you have a slightly better understanding of what direction to head in for the future.

Some people are all about instant gratification (spending, drugs) – others are all about long term goal orientated satisfaction and others just like to strike that balance.

Where do you fit in?

How To Set Up An Intimate Encounter Online

An intimate encounter is one where you organise a discreet relationship with someone for a one of (or regular) sexual meeting. This is all organised online via email and web chat and usually there are zero strings attached.

There is only a physical relationship that occurs and the women usually asks for certain attributes from a man via her profile.

Why would women be interested in a sexual encounter without any emotional connection attached?

They get enjoyment out of it just like you do, they like the attention they get online as well as the naughty nature of casual encounters.

Casual encounters are great for spicing up your love life or finding something new amongst a routinely dull existence of work weekend work.

That’s what makes a site like so appealing for men looking to set up intimate encounters online… You may have tried the paid and free dating sites and found the women to be stand offish at the mere mention of casual encounters.

There is a place online where people speak openly about sexual freedom and enjoyment. Granted, most of the talk is done by men(the majority of the site), but make no mistake, there are enough women to go around if you are willing to spend some time introducing yourself. It comes down to being a numbers game…

Some women just wont be interested in emailing you back, some female profiles will be blank and not checked regularly. But sooner or later you will find a girl in your area that will be happy to get to know you more…

Your experience with will be strongly influenced by your ability to interact in a normal fashion with the women on the site (+ your location).

If you come across as an open and genuine guy that means no harm then you will have no trouble setting up that intimate encounter.

If however you are not willing to show yourself to the community via a profile picture and don’t express yourself correctly within the profile description there is little chance that you will be able to get anything out of your time in the members are.


To many guys expect that will be this amazing sex fantasy world (like it’s advertised) where they can pick up models in seconds and be banging them within hours. This could happen and probably does in some rare circumstances but the truth is that you need to put a little work in.

Remember that they are still WOMEN… do you understand what women want? Even though they are on a casual sex dating site does not mean that you should treat them any different.

In fact an important tip for successful casual dating online is to be forward in your approach BUT make sure that you still use your manners.

Orthough these women aren’t necessarily looking for love they still expect to be treated like ladies. By using manners and respecting the girls private space you will stand out from the crowd of sexually frustrated crazy dudes that frequent the site.

Women will be surprised that a gentlemen has entered the presence of and be very interested in getting to know you. This outward projection that you need to emit starts from the moment you enter the site. You profile image should suggest that you are a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it. You description should be honest and forthcoming but doesn’t give away to much. Your online avatar(image you portray) should be approachable , sexy and above all else Safe. Women quite rightly have a programmed image of who you are and what you want.

This means it should be easy enough to stand amongst the sausage fest crowed of simply by being a honest approachable gentlemen who could secretly make a women very happy.

If you look over your AFF profile and see a seedy unapproachable unsafe man looking back then perhaps it’s time to take some new photos and rewrite that description…

All it takes is a trip to the barber and some new clothes to portray a whole new image. By doing this you also change your perception of yourself – this renewed confidence will be projected in your emails and chat sessions.

Don’t worry about getting rejected (even though it can be tough sometimes)

The online casual encounter world can be a tough place – there is a ton of competition with guys jostling for position and don’t forget that some of the women wont be angles either. These women are “seasoned” and they know very well what they want.

There are some safety considerations that need to be addressed: You need to be respectful of other peoples personal space and needs. If you have any oddities or personality traits that might make a women awkward these need to be fully explained before meeting up in real life. You need to take care of your physical and emotional self online which means not jumping into situations that could lead to harm.

Casual Sex Online

So the question is… where can you go to actually get some casual sex?

There are many many dating sites out there but you will be well aware that the girls present are more interested in serious relationships and even marriage than anything casual… Where does a guy go online when he just wants to have a one night stand?

Casual sex online does exist and all you need to do is set up discreet meetings with singles near you… There are plenty of interested UK girls that would meet you, you’ve just got to be in the right place at the right time.

But all of this fun wont be easy… there are plenty of other single men online competing for the attention of the very profile you have your eyes on.

Lets just say the ratio is not in your favour. But if you have something unique and interesting to offer you can easily stand out from the crowd of somewhat normal lads online.

You can be the guy on a site like who is getting all the action! Because that’s pretty much how it goes – a few select few guys who know how to message the girls get all the of the action.

The women on a site like are wild to say the least – make no mistake about it.. These girls are actively seeking out casual sex online and they know what they want.

Can you deal with these vixens? I am just warning you that if your not into some crazy bdsm then you better put that in your profile. But it’s not all about fetish encounters AFF also caters to the more tasteful side of discreet relationships.

You are well within your rights to suggest a couple on couple evening or a group evening that you can join. You will be surprised at the open nature of conversation once you become a member.

As I said before just be aware that you are entering a slightly shady area of the interwebs.

  • Safe sex is an obvious must
  • Using common online dating safety practices is also recommended such as always meeting in a public place or group scenario when you first meet.
  • Get to know the person well before jumping into meeting up (webcam,skype)

In saying that it’s very rare that anyone has any problems… Most singles are there for the same reason you are – to have a great time and meet new people for some casual sex.

A large proportion of the male dating population online are looking for some sort of casual encounter… Just check out a site like and you get the picture… woome is a site that allows you to chat with a random person – turn on the SHUFFLE PEOPLE feature and you end up shuffling to masturbating guys about 2 in every 10!

Woome is not the place you want to go looking to set up casual encounters. However a place like dating.pullingladies.comis great for it because women go there knowing what they (and you ) want. This way everything is open and nobody gets hurt.

The problem with some popular free online dating sites is guys don’t seem to realise that they cant just go on their and choose their intent as being into serious relationships while there sole purpose is to find women for sex.

They are lying about their intent and women get let down massively. This way women end up leaving free sites which hurts the experience for everyone else.

Casual dating sites listed below are geared toward exactly that. They attract the adventurous women and couples that want to find other guys and girls for no strings attached casual fun.

Once you become a paid member you can do some really cool stuff. If you are new to online dating it can be a real rush chatting to hot (and kinky) women online that you know would be keen to jump your bones at the first chance.

Often times they don’t live in your area but you can search and filter for girls nearer your location. This way there is a good chance that you can meet up.

NOTE: There are many guys on sites like, while there are also a lot of keen girls the girls can only take so much if you know what I mean. Just understand that they have choice and not all of your emails will get read.

If your interesting and eligible enough to get noticed then you really can have an amazing time inside.

By going on the lookout for casual encounters online you are entering a grey area… You might be used to this and even feel at home in this greyish underworld but if this is new to you (it can get weird and crazy) YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Other Places To Look!


Plenty of (partly)


Friend Finder

Live Cam Chat

No Strings Attatched

Be Naughty UK

Be Naughty AUS

Girls Date For Free



Casual Sex Online … WHY?

Why are men seeking sex online in such large numbers?

  • Is it just that are so dam lazy?
  • Is it that we love to have sex so much?
  • Is it the novelty of online dating?
  • Is it the anonymity?
  • Is it the ease of use?
  • Is it that open sexual approaches are accepted?

The man and his willing Internet partners happily exchange pics and fantasies in a mutual admiration society free of expectations, complaints, or neediness of any kind. This is a good thing right? There are some things to look out for – for example men being emotionally disconnected from themselves as mention here.

This could be one reason why many women complain about the emotionless sex gained from online casual dating sites. The machine like efficiency void of any meaning is far from exiting to women.

The article continues to talk about how men need to cut themselves off from their connections with their family and particularly their mother to appear masculine. Which can set guys up for painful isolation and emotional issues which express themselves in sexual neediness.

Casual Sex Online – Narcissist’s

Narcissist’s have all of the right ingredients for successful online dating – charm, arrogance, confidence, forward, persistent, and a propensity for short term dating.

They will put others down in an attempt to live up to their own high view of themselves.

Narcissism has a negative connotation but is the lesser of the evil 3 qualities as mentioned in this scientific article. (Delroy L. Paulhu – The Dark Triad of personality: Narcissism,Machiavellianism, and psychopath)

Because narcissist feed of power and dominance over others it’s not necessarily the sexual pleasure they seek. Just knowing that a women would like to sleep with them is enough. Many guys are self proclaimed narcissist’s and see it a more of a positive character trait than anything else.

The overwhelming confidence is a strength but you inherently feel that it’s masking some other weakness. Narcissist’s very rarely hold down long term relationships – the 4 month period usually spells down as a result of their date discovering the true nature of their once charming suitor.

Further reading

Casual Sex Online – Bi’s And Feminism

I really dislike this view point…

A very large proportion of the online casual sex community are open to same sex encounters. Experimentation is just another way of gaining sexual pleasure which seems to be the primary motivation. Within a large proportion of female profiles you will see “bi curious” or “bisexual” listed.

This occurs most often within younger demographics of 18-25.  Apart from social pressures and social acceptance of same sex female interaction I believe the main reason why this occurs is because women mistake interest for attraction.

Men are much more black and white when it comes to sexual attraction – women have more of an open lens and therefore see all attractive qualities of both sexes.

Sexual Choice – where are all the women?

The mating mind is one of the best books written on the topic of sexual evolution.

If you are aware of the peacock theory it explains why many human traits such as creativity and humor have evolved far beyond what was necessary to survive. Geoffrey Miller uses science to explain why we act. He proposes that we are almost entirely motivated by sex and reproduction. or read it here

The mating mind has a good evolutionary example of why there seems to be significantly less women on dating sites relating to sex. eHarmony and are teeming with 35+ year old old women on the search for eligible bachelors… but all the bachelors are too busy searching for young sexually fertile 23 year old girls.

The basis of the explanation is this:

Males compete for quantity of females, and females compete for quality of males. Trivers’ supply-and demand logic explained why in most species, males court and females choose.

A History of Online Dating


Louis CK put’s his depressing but honest spin on masturbation

One of the better blogs I have found in awhile – his posts are well researched – he talks about all types of issues from relationships to money.

Ex Recovery System

Download the ex back recovery system free report here

Suggestion from the author about male commentors, If you are this way inclined (e.g. you are into blaming women rather than taking ownership of your actions) you should take note of what she has to say…

There’s a lot of bitter men in here… I think instead of blaming “women”, as that is the “easy” thing to do, how about look at where you’re going wrong to PICK these women who are “insecure”, “needy”, “bitches” in the first place.

Know your OWN worth and what kind of woman deserves to be with YOU instead of dumping all women together and assume all of us are bitches,? insecure, inappreciative etc.

If you…

  • Just had your heart broken and don’t know what happened.
  • Broke up with your Ex and then regretted it.
  • Still in love with your Ex.
  • Still in love with your Ex who is with someone else!
  • And want a STEP-by-STEP PROVEN system to get your ex lover back.

The ex recovery system is recommended for women that are trying to get their ex boyfriends back. Let’s say your boyfriend left you and you just dont know what to do to change his mind. It’s really quite simple to get him coming back to you if you know how. You will be doing a silly little thing like invading his “man space” or treating him like your his mother. Elimination this and start implementing female attraction triggers and your man will have little choice but to crawl back and say he is sorry.

Do you know how powerful you are? I hope you have realized it by now.

Use Your Womanly Power

Women really do have a LOT of power over men – they just need to know how to use it correctly. You see men really dislike women who abuse this female power and use it obnoxiously. But the women who quietly and unintentionally portray attractive qualities cant keep the men away. The literally have to reject men that they would normally love to go out with because they are already ‘”taken”… These women are hit on every single day because they know how to attract men.

But to get your ex back it takes a little more than just attractive female qualities…

You need to firstly get your head straight!

But you cannot afford to run back to him when he texts you for a booty call!

There are certain stages of the ex back process where you come in strong but this is well after you have cut off all contact.

If you are able to speak to your ex boyfriend ONLY on your terms you indicate to your boy that your mature enough to stand on your own two feet without him. If he sees you flirting with another guy and not showing any interest in him ( I know… counter intuitive) he will all of a sudden want you again.

We all want what we cant have and this is especially true for guys… All of a sudden he will be turned on by the thrill of the chase. You are the new single women in town that everyone wants and now he regrets every leaving you.

But you must time these intervals of no contact and female attraction triggers carefully.

A girl who has been through this emotional time and managed to get her boy back details the whole process within the ex recovery system…

Ashley Kay remembers the process vividly and is now letting other girls in on the secrets to getting their boyfriends back every time. Now every girl need not be disappointed by a silly boy who doesn’t know he has a good thing. If you know your guy was a great catch and dont want to see him falling in love with another man then the ex recovery system is worth a look. There are loads of stories of how other girls just like ashley managed to use her process to get their relationship sorted out.

I wanted to drop you a line to let you know I am back together with my ex…In fact, we also just planned a trip to Cabo for October.
You and your system were a huge help and I wanted to extend my gratitude.
All the best,

Free Online Dating: Does It Actually Work?

NOTE: This article contains many questions regarding the effectiveness of free online dating with few answers… you have been warned

Obviously there is little point in signing up for a free online dating site if your efforts will not be eventually fruitful. So it’s a good question to ask if your efforts WILL be worthwhile.

Can you set up multiple dates for the weekend from the comfort of your own home?

Can you organise secret intimate encounters with couples?

Can you find your true love?

Can you organise marriages cross boarders?

Can you really signup without paying a dime and email hot women while watching friends re-runs and eating Mac-D’s?

In short: Are free (or paid) online dating sites really all they are cracked up to be?

Lets Face It: For most “eligible” bachelors out there we wouldn’t be seen dead with some (or most) of the women on dating sites. This is not to say girls on dating site are filthy it’s just a reflection of reality.

We wouldn’t go out with many of the women we see at the bus stop either so why should online dating be any different? What I am interested in is how many guys that use online dating sites such as plenty offish VS say eHarmony actually get real quality relationships out of them as a result.

Many of the singles that you see online have been registered for years – they are still online and still online regularly (log in data). Have these women been on multiple dates as a result of using the site and just not been happy with what they saw or is online dating just not working out for them?

I think oktrends should come out a more useful set of values (not that they aren’t doing a great job)…

If it could be possible to get conversion data on a successful match’s or successful date’s then they could design there whole matching system around that.

They already do this to some extend with statistical matching but I am talking about analysing exactly what each single did leading up to the successful date.

What types of emails they sent and where they met on the site. This way they could find out what will give you the best chance of finding a real relationship when you are online.

Many guys out there would love to know what really works and what worked for someone else:.

What lines and phrases you should use… ? The dialogue that other guys have used successfully. It would be interesting if there were free online dating trends in 1 on 1 chat.

Is the chat that results in an unsuccessful date sexually orientated in any way? Or Vice Versa.

Are there trends in introduction emails that never get replied to?

not because you want to trick a girl into anything but just because a single date at all would be nice for some guys. We understand that we are the majority when it comes to dating online and women have an automatic guard up (understandably) to protect against whatever else is out their trawling the interwebs. Men (like real life) have to compete against each other for the attention of the attractive women.

Well the dynamic of free online dating is a little different. It levels the playing field and allows the little guy to get a chance.

What would be interesting to know is – who gets picked? What is the selection criteria for choice when comparing similar profiles?

A recent oktrends article suggested that the riskier the profile picture of women the more attention they got from men. The greater the sexual suggestiveness.. the more emails women get.

What do men need to do to get a higher response rate?

The original question was – Does free online dating actually work?

Could you meet your future wife online?

The answer is a resounding YES

But the effectiveness and efficiency with which it can be done is yet clear. If you are really looking for a wife then you should not be looking on free dating sites with exception of perhaps okcupid. Shell out some cash and find some serious daters at and eHarmony.

Free online dating sites are great for casual dating and short term dating. If your in your early to mid 20’s or are relaxed about relationships in your 30’s and 40’s then absolutely free online dating could be for you.

It really depends on the person involved. Plentyoffish has a wide variety of cultures and income levels. There are also people looking for different things.

Respect what women are looking for and understand they will have some objections to your advances.

Don’t forget that the girls on free dating sites are also looking to have a good time in the short term – it’s just a matter of finding that right one in your area.

Sometimes it’s a matter of right place right time, being online frequently and not being forceful in your approach is recommended.

CONLUSION: So we have jumped all over the place here: In an effort to turn this rubble into some sort of free standing structure I would have to suggest that free online dating is an amazing tool that you should be using… You can get as many quality dates as you can handle if you use both free and paid online dating sites ( girls date for free, cupid, isingles, single parent meet, bb people meet, black people meet) and if you live in a big city.

Free online dating works but it’s not as good as you want it to be… yet

Meaning the ratio is a little skewed towards women and they are often tentative to actually meet offline. With practice you can make it work.

Get Your Ex Back With Them M3 System And Self Reflection

Do you move on? Or do you try to save the relationship…?

A relationship that you believe is worth fighting for. Coming to the conclusion that all you want in your life is your ex makes you realise how important they are to you.

Your ex boy/girl played such a huge role In your life and now they are gone – the suddenness of the situation is hard for you to deal with and you’ll do just about anything to get them back into your life.

The good news is that THEY are human… And humans have a huge capacity to love and forgive people. Even if you don’t deserve to be forgiven in the first place you can use certain psychological ex back techniques to trigger forgiveness.

Thankfully for you… it is possible to clean the slate with people no matter how much you screwed up in the past.

Thankfully for you… people have already tested certain phrases and emotions and know what works and what doesn’t.

So really you have very little to worry about. All that needs to be done from here is a decision. Do you want your ex back so much that your prepared to commit to a proven system for getting them back?

A system that is guaranteed to get them back or your money back? That’s a ballsy statement and the creator Michael Griswold stands by it.

Everybody wants to be loved and everyone has feelings of regret and loneliness… Even if you think your ex has most definitely moved on they WILL still have feelings of remorse, sadness and loneliness.

You have to give yourself some credit… Nobody can replace the time that the two of you shared. You and your ex have a special bond and even if she is seeing somebody else now their relationship will not be as strong as her past relationship with you.

You have to hold on to the attraction that first brought the two of you together because no other man or women can offer this to your ex. In order to save your relationship you have to do something quite special… but are you ready for?

What you really need to do first is work out if both of you are better off alone. Some things just aren’t meant to be. If you have through long and hard about this (and you will have) and have come to the conclusion that your life is just not the same without them then you have an exiting journey ahead.

Self Reflection

What your really need to do first is start a series of self reflection and self analysis workshops in your head or on paper. Only when you can accept your faults and the wrong doings of your past can you move forward and make the new relationship with your ex bigger and better.

There will have been some quarrels and arguments that caused your relationship to break up… It could have been over something as trivial as who last took out the trash! Was this argument really worth it?

What were you defending? Your pride?

You were arguing with the one person who really loved you in this world and now they have moved off to find someone that will be better for them. Perhaps instead of arguing with your ex and finding faults you should have been congratulating and finding new exiting things to do together.

It’s easy to get into a false sense of security when you are in a long term relationship but it’s very important to keep attracting and keep re triggering chemistry.

Candle lit dinners and roses are not just for the movies you know. They don’t have to be as serious but they can be as fun.

When did you last do something nice for your ex?

Discovering areas of the relationship where there was friction enables you to analyse areas of your own personality that may have caused it. It’s a two way street but it starts with you.

You have to work on yourself and better yourself to get your ex to realise that it’s going to be different this time.

You have a fresh career path or you have a new outlook on life. You are going to spend more time with her or your going to be more positive about her passions and interests.

Perhaps you will give up smoking or drinking alcohol to get her back?

Have you realised how special she really is and you wont take her for granted anymore? All women really want is to feel loved and appreciated! Did you appreciate the fact that she did your washing and made your dinner?

If your ex did not feel as though she was loved by you then (thankfully for you) this could be the only reason why she left. All it takes is you to find ways to make her feel loved and appreciated again.

But there is a process to all this: It takes a little more than just some extra love because she may have moved on. You will have to re-attract her to you first and then shower her with all the love you have got.

I hope that you do not rush into getting your ex back and that you first take my advice and perform some serious self reflection regarding your own actions. What happened that caused him/her to leave in the first place. Infidelity, carelessness, attitude, temper ?

It’s more likely that she didn’t feel loved by you. If you went straight to the pub after work and came home late drunk then I think we all know what you need to do to get your ex back…. Oh you still don’t know? STOP DRINKING

If you don’t have the will power to do that one simple thing then she was right to leave. It comes down to your decision about what you really want. If she is important enough to you then you will do what ever it takes. This often involves initial sacrifice on your part!

Obey These Online Dating Profile Tips

Getting noticed in the online dating world is becoming harder by the second as thousands of new people sign up every day. This places a lot of emphasis on the quality and substance of your dating profile.

Without an eye catching picture and easy to read description your inbox could remain empty. It used to be enough just to be present in an online dating site but now you need to make an impression. Based on online dating statistics you get about a 15 second timeframe from each user on average before they decide to read or leave.

The ones that are actually interested in you spend several minutes reading your profile description, age , interests and a small percentage of those interested visitors will send you and email flirt or wink.

The Three C‘s

So you have 3 stages of interest that you can work on…

Catching peoples eyes as they sift through the endless headshots…

Capture there attention when they are on your profile with interesting and open suggestions about your life… This will ensure they don’t leave straight away and move into the potential emailing category

“Convert” them into a single that actually gets into contact with you…

If your wondering, Yes I did just make up the arbitrary three C’s

You might feel a little like a salesmen when your thinking about how to capture attention and “convert” browsers into potential dates but the reality is your on a personals site.

Your profile is designed to influence other peoples opinion of you. This requires just a pinch of clever wording.

We will go into what you should write in future posts but first double check your profile for any of the common dating profile blunders listed below:

False Information

Singles online will always lie about their appearance, income, height, weight and even personality but that doesn’t mean that you should. If your in this to find someone that you really get on with then it makes sense to fill
out personality tests and ABOUT ME pages honestly.

Ask yourself… who are you really trying to fool?

Lying about yourself is just an indication that you are not happy with yourself and current situation. You have to establish trust before meeting up online and by lying from the start you make it hard on the other person to reciprocate. Your honesty and integrity will shine through in the words that you write about yourself. If you really trying to find someone your profile should mirror this.

Remember that the only thing other singles on the site have to go by is your photo and you profile information. They don’t know that there is an honest and sexy guy behind that username so make sure you give them no choice. Let them know who you really are so they don’t have to guess. As soon as she starts guessing if your really interested in dating you out.

Because there are many men online that aren’t so great and not exactly great catches. As soon as you leave that profile blank say good bye to any emails that you could have received had you filled it out properly.

Understandably singles find it very hard to really write positively about themselves. Many will start writing and then read what they have written and be rather shocked at how negative it is. Don’t underestimate yourself. The more you sell your own attributes and abilities the greater chance you have of finding that special someone.

SMILE in your photos let everyone see your amazing face and eyes. They will connect with you first

No Profile Pictures

No picture at all is worse but uploading a head shot of a model your found on google images really is not going to help your chances. If your shy about coming out to the public then perhaps online dating is not for you.

What if you actually get dates from this profile?

Lying about your appearance is a terrible start to a relationship no matter how you look at it.

The only exception is that you state in your profile that it’s not your real headshot and that you are happy to friend them and facbook or skype them before you meet up… That’s a good way around not wanting to actually make yourself public to everyone on the site.

By the way it’s pretty obvious to everyone when there are unrealistic images used.

through the photos you choose to use.

Be sure to leave out information like address and past bad dating experiences.

Some information is better left in the far regions of your mind. It can come out later when the time is right.

4 Things To Avoid When Building Online Dating Profiles

Dating sites are becoming increasingly popular. More than 20 million people around the globe visit dating sites each month, and over 40% of people in the US regularly use these services.

Gone is the negative stigma that used to be attached to online dating and with it the view that the web is a place for losers, geeks and criminals.

Meeting in cyberspace has become not only acceptable but also incredibly fashionable. The only problem is that with so many new members signing up every hour it can be hard to get noticed.

It’s never been more important to stand out from the crowd, and with online dating this means getting your dating profile just right.


Your profile is the first thing a potential match will look at. On average, they’ll give your page about fifteen seconds of browsing time, which means what you write and upload has got to make an impression.

Here are some classic mistakes to avoid when setting up your online dating profile:

Uploading unrealistic pictures

The very first thing a fellow dating-site user will look at, apart from maybe your name, is your picture gallery.

Therefore, you need to think particularly carefully about the photos you upload and which one will appear as your main profile picture. The classic mistake is to go for misleading or unrealistic shots of yourself.

Some people will simply upload their favourite pictures of themselves, regardless of the year in which they were taken. Others tend to go crazy with the airbrush, honing photos until even their closest friend would fail to recognise them.

Go for flattering, certainly, but not unrealistic – the game will be up when you finally meet someone in person.

Exaggerating and lying

It’s a big mistake to lie or exaggerate on your profile.

Although online dating is now very trendy, people are still slightly wary about meeting people in this way. Trust takes a little longer to build up in the cyber world.

But if you’ve been lying about something from the beginning, when a match finds out – which they probably will if they meet you – all of that carefully built trust will be torn down.

It’s better to be open and honest from the minute you start typing out your profile information. Make sure you don’t leave any really important facts out either.


Although you do need to be truthful both with your images and in what you write, make sure you don’t undersell yourself. Underselling is another classic online dating mistake. Try to approach your profile as you would a night out – dress it up so people see you at your best. Be funny, fluid and direct and try to bring out the most interesting aspects of your character.


Revealing too much

Another trap that’s easy to fall into is being too personal with your profile information. There are some things you really shouldn’t speak about when trying to make a good first impression. Instead, it’s best to be casual and not to reveal too much.

If you avoid these four dating-profile blunders, you should find someone in cyberspace who shares perfect compatibility with you in no time!

Oktrends Uncovers The Real Intent Of Men Online

Here is the latest data from okcupid and this times it’s on the “mathmatics” of love

Looking a bit risky is the way to go if your either not to attractive or “cute” . According to oktrends, girls that have accessories and look a touch more alternative get a lot more attention from male users than classically unattractive or just normal cute girls.

Less attractive women that get more messages than attractive or cute girls could come down to something as simple as sex… If guys think that a women is more open to casual encounters they will get messaged more than serious relationship types.

Whether you call it game theory or guys looking to get lucky the most efficient way possible it does seem a little weird that men would be trying to contact the less attractive women on the site more than the cute girls.

But what is beauty anyway? Surely it’s in the eye of the beholder.

Okcupid mentions that the girls with tattoos and piercing’s seem to get more attention that girls without.

A user in the comments even suggested this similar view point

Garrett says:
I’m going this route:

A guy that sees someone as cute, sees someone as on his level. That is, someone that he could consider himself being in a long term relationship with. However, most online dating sites are used by guys trying to get their rocks off.

So they go for the ugly chicks that are ‘desperate’ and the ‘hot’ ones, hoping to get lucky. Uggo and easy or shoot for the stars. That’s my breakdown, take it or leave it.

I think what this study actually does is uncover the real intent of most male users. I use most because I understand that not all men have the sole motivation to be intimate with women but MOST do. It’s just in our DNA.

Men want sex and women want a secure, loving and protective relationship.

As a result most men will message the women on the site that they think will give them the highest chance of achieving this.

This is not trying to simplify a more complex issue it’s just how it is. Many women will be disappointed with this explanation of the data but they shouldn’t be.

Sex sells – even in an online okcupid profile picture!

It may also come down to the types of personalities that use online dating. Perhaps men online are getting a little desperate and see the easy pickings as a great opportunity. Is the self esteem of men on okcupid that low that they need to be messaging below their “weight class”? Surely men on okcupid and online in general would message the women that are the most “physically fit” in their eyes.

Game theory could be it but I think it’s motivated by sexual intent. We are just happy to even GET a date out of the dating experience.

If we have to settle for a goth with a tongue ring who might suggest a threesome with her girlfriend then hey why not? Better that than get some young confused flighty girl who doesn’t know what she wants. We just don’t have that kind of time to waste.

So hopefully there will be a parallel study focused on the behaviour of ok cupid women…

I think it will go something like this…

Single women will message the men they think will give them the best protection in a relationship.

These profiles of men may not be pin ups or male models but they will instil a sense of protection and authority. Women will message okcupid males that have reasonable incomes and reasonable jobs so you might find a similar result as with the male study. Big gaps where little interest is shown to a certain demographic of men that cannot protect and provide.

Of course like all the other data that has come out of the ok cupid labs there will be some interesting skewed result that will make as all go… REALLY?

I’m looking forward to what women are really up to behind the scenes!

I mean these women we are talking about get a ton of messages and a ton of interest from us!

They get flirts from filthy old guys and randy 18 years olds… Who do they respond to?

I comes down to survival and reproduction folks. Im am pretty certain that we will get a result that aggress with that theory.