Uncomplicated Casual Sex

Is there such a thing as uncomplicated casual sex?

A recent article in laweekly suggests that finding it on craigslist is not so easy to find.

The great thing about craigslist is that is has market share – everyone knows about it. It’s one big watering hole of personal ads.

However the fact that it requires NO registration means anyone in the world can post a random ad. Such a low barrier to entry increases dating and romance scammer activity. This is also true for other free dating sites.

Paid dating sites have the resources to create anti scam teams to create a safe dating environment. However paid dating sites also allow free signups to view certain areas of profiles so everyone is open to it.

You can choose to allow casual sex to be uncomplicated – it has much to do with your maturity levels and choice of sex partner.

Trying to bag a frisky 19 year old might seem exiting at the time but in most cases they just aren’t mature enough to deal with an anonymous encounter.

Casual sex tends to get complicated because emotions are involved. In general you don’t have control over who you get attracted to (attraction isn’t a choice, david deangelo)

So believing that you are in control of how you will feel in reference to your casual sex encounter is being a little naive.

Especially when you are dealing with sex! Sex has strong attachment and bonding elements built in to keep two mating partners together.

Online Sex Partner Not Returning Emails

You will already be aware of how much attention women get on dating sites… Multiply this by 20 for online casual sex dating sites.

In most cases they love the attention – In most cases they mistake it for honest authentic flattery. Some of the emails she receives will be authentic but how is she to know?

So why is your sexy 23 year old online fantasy suddenly not replying?

After the initial exciting and attention a women will start to rationalize. The reality of meeting a complete stranger online will sink in.

  1. Getting injured
  2. Getting disappointed
  3. Wasting my time
  4. Jeopardizing my health and my business
  5. Being rejected
  6. Getting emotionally hurt
  7. Humiliation
  8. Shyness/Reservations
  9. Rudeness
  10. STD’s

In most cases the ideal of casual sex… the fantasy of meeting a knight in shining armor is extinguished by the reality.

Casual sex can and should be very uncomplicated with the right company. But in most cases it’s far from uncomplicated – both women and men need time…

Time to trust you, get sexually turned on and accept that this really is going to happen. Each stage of the online offline transition takes time. It takes 2 minutes to sign up and send a message – but much more is required for sex to actually take place.

 The +’s of Casual Sex Online

It’s uncomplicated…

If your a gay guy or gay women that just isn’t interested in the small talk and expensive drinks that is the bar scene online dating has one thing going for it.

Casual dating is straight to the point – no pissing around – no social awkwardness… Everyone knows the score and if your not interested you simply don’t respond.

It’s efficient yes – people still flake out on you however it’s the price you pay for anonymous and fast casual hookups.

Your able to find just the right person for your needs… well close to it.

Looking for a 27 year old red head with black twins? you might just find it online.

Looking for bisexual meetings in london? group sex in LA? or swingers in NY?

Casual sex communities give you the power to at least get into contact with a group.

Once again – depending on who is involved the casual encounter could be hell on earth and very embarrassing and awkward or an amazing night. The problem is you have to put yourself out on a limb to find out.

Sex doesn’t have to be a complicated thing but it invariably ends up that way if your either not emotionally prepared or don’t choose wisely from the start.

Video chat – or facebook friend requests are options but they do tend to remove the anonymous nature of the whole situation.

I would advise that if your really after uncomplicated casual sex it’s all going to be about the partner you choose. Older women and mature younger women are a good bet. Use your gut and don’t get carried away with wanting to meet up with them within an hour of meeting. You have to choose a women that is aware of the whole situation – they need to be seeking males for casual encounters rather than a specific guy for long term relationships.

Your online and using casual dating for anonymous and casual encounters – so don’t be afraid of asking for it.

Persistence with manners authenticity and honesty should be your focus.

Casual sex relationships get complicated when you add TIME…

If you want to keep emotions of attachment out of the way – keep it to a one night stand, don’t sleep over and have breakfast in the morning and pillow talk for hours at night will also not help.

So long as a women is aware of all of this you should be able to keep this up without to much trouble.

It’s when you start to narrow down what type of women your after and out of the blue meet that special girl of your dreams… Then you decide if it’s time to go all in and make a relationship out of the whole process…

Until then keep sending those emails.


Sources: http://www.laweekly.com/2011-01-27/news/uncomplicated-casual-sex-not-easy-to-find-on-craigslist/

The Single Thing That Hurts Guys The Most: Women

Men don’t let many people close to them – they don’t allow themselves the opportunity for people to hurt them as a result.

During any casual sex relationship men are (in the most part) able to keep any attachment from occurring. The keep the women at arms length emotionally until they they are ready…

When we fall for a women – we go all in! Emotionally – Financially – Spiritually – for guys it’s an all or nothing game. A guys first love never really leaves him…

Your current gf is the one person besides your family that can cause you real pain… If you have ever been through a breakup you will know how deeply women can effect you.

This is why there is so much motivation from guys who want to get their ex girlfriends back – They want that safety and security again… The thought of the one women that you gave everything too with another guy tears at the soul.

The single thing that really get’s to most guys where others fail (like water off a ducks back) is a breakup.

There are many emotions and situations that can cripple you as a guy – not being able to contribute to society in a meaningful way pretty much renders you useless… A powerless man is not an attractive man.

Physical pain, boredom, starvation and any other superficial pain is nothing… until you feel the deep psychological mind fuck that is the effect that women have on you.

The combination of emotions that breakups create will be one of the hardest events you will have to deal with in your life. Big statement.. why?

The pain that you feel is often equal to how much you loved them.

All of the love and joy that you gave and received during the relationship is now hitting you in one sudden week long surge… Except it’s now reversed and rather than love and joy it’s hate and sadness.

The equal and opposite reaction law taking affect on your heart.

No wonder you feel the strong urge to eliminate this pain by recovering her. Getting her back is like taking the on source of pain and simultaneously shooting it in the face while morphing it into all of the best emotions she ever gave you.

Your killing the bad emotions and recovering the good…

It’s a sweet deal right? Getting your ex back is a sweet idea…

But is it really what needs to happen?

Despite the elimination of the picture of her getting banged by some other dude…

Despite all of the pain and sadness you feel…

Despite the joy she would bring…

Is getting back with her really a good idea?

Usually a breakup happens for a good reason – usually there is a LOT of stress in the relationship – usually there is a personality conflict…

Sometimes money and stress issues cause temporary conflict that can be resolved if there is maturity and open mindedness in the relationship.

If this is a marriage + infidelity issue… you have more emotional and logistical complications than you are aware of!

  1. Your friends network is now segmented…
  2. Your family is now broken…
  3. Your children are affected…
  4. Your love-life obviously is…
  5. Your routines will be different…

If you decide that all of this is to much to deal with there some information on how to start the process of getting her back here:


In many cases healing the pain and accepting your differences is the best thing to do. You just need to find a way to convince your ex that it’s the right thing to do. She might think that giving you another chance is the worsts decision she could possibly make. Perhaps it is:

  1. If you cheated on her you killed all trust you once had.
  2. If you let the romance die she will feel no attraction for you
  3. If you argued or were abusive she was right to call it quits

Somehow you have to find a way to convince your ex that your worth another shot – you do this through ACTIONS not words. Because it’s likely your words don’t mean alot to her right now.

Moving On After A Breakup

Remember: Women are the single thing that can hurt you the most – Which makes them the single thing that can give you the most pleasure.

“it’s better to have loved and lost… than to have never loved at all…” or something like that right?

You have to decide if getting her back is really going to back everything ok. If not it’s time to move on – be happy and focus on the fact that the love and friendship happened in the first place rather than the fact that it’s over.

Be happy that you have the chance to love again and find a women even more compatible.


Booty Call

So what’s a booty call?

You call someone for just sex, nothing else. It is even less then Friends with benefits which at least assumes a friendly relation.

Basically, think unpaid hooker.

For some people they wouldn’t mind being someones booty call – for guys a botty call is a good thing because there is no strings sex involved.

But the problem with booty call is that it’s used to describe the USE of someone without respect.

So even if a women said… yeh he was my booty call last saturday to her friends she is most likely reffering to you in a negative way.

The booty call has a negtive stigma attached to it.

It’s not friends with benefits or casual dating where there is actually assumed trust and friendship involved. Booty call is just using an old friendship for sex without any intent in the future of seeing them again.

Ex girlfriends who get dumped often end up being booty calls for awhile. They are in the hope that their ex bf wants to get back with them… they later find out they were a booty call until he found someone else… A tough reality for anyone to come to.

Other References:

Others refer to it as simply a no harm done casual sex date.

A purely sexual liaison

I think unpaid hooker is much too harsh!

Both people are obviously consenting to the sex so they are both getting something out of the interaction.

You don’t want the booty call label but it’s not all bad – Let’s call it one rung below the one night stand… except it’s closer to friends with benefits. This is because the booty call suggests a prior relationship.

You can’t just call up anyone for a booty call – it’s someone that you have had sex with before.

More Explanation On Booty Call






Online Dating Safety: Spot A Dating Scammer

The classic Senegal scam email:

Hello It is my wishes to contact you after reading across your profile, My name is Miss Sandra Kuminber, I saw your profile today and was moved and become interested in you, I will like you to send me an email to my address so that i can give you my pictures for you to know whom i am and i will tell you more about me. (Remember the distance or color does not matter but love matters a lot in life) You can write me with my email address sandrakuminber99 /@/h/o/t/m/a/i/l/./c /o/ /m/ Hope to hear from you soon. Yours Sandra.

Notice the poor grammar – email inside the email – note about distance not being a problem – weird name (Miss Sandra Kuminber) 



Go to any free dating site and your going to see this happen – basically it can’t be stopped other than deleting the users… more community awareness can help. Frankly if your sending money to an online romance you have never met I wouldn’t feel sorry for you. I understand that your emotions could get the better of you at times at the hope of meeting someone amazing. Just look before you leap ok?

Basically these users (based mostly in Senegal) are looking for vulnerable unaware online daters to cough up money.

They will usually attempt to redirect you to a site where you have to send them money or ask for your #cc details.

For more information




most of them originate from West Africa, countries of ex-Soviet Union, and Asia.

What Can I Do?

It’s very helpful if you report users that seem out of the ordinary or fake – if you receive an email like the one listed above report the user immediately. Usually it’s as easy as clicking the flag or report user button.


dating.pullingladies.com (100% free online casual dating site) has recently integrated a new set privacy settings to help you combat scammers.  Help us by reporting any users and we will check them within 24 hours.

Online Dating Safety Tips

  1. never provide your personal details (your full name, email/home address or phone number) to members you have just started talking to.
  2. Be cautious
  3. trust your instincts
  4. use video and audio facilities to clear up any concerns about a person’s appearance manner and tone.

Sex Dating

Sex dating involves the search of singles in your area for the sole purpose of creating casual sex relationships.

The idea is that everyone on the site is under the same assumption that serious relationships are not on the cards…

Inside a sex dating site anything goes, all niche interests and sex interests are welcomed and open contact is promoted.

You always have the power in the conversation because you have the option of blocking users and not replying.

Sex dating is distinctly different from serious dating (eharmony)

Serious dating runs under the intent of marriage and long term relationships – much effort is put into scientifically matching two people.

Sex dating is simply an open network of singles and attached sexually motivated people.

You search and filter based on your needs – you get to know another person based on their profile and the email correspondence you have on the site.

If you choose to meet up offline that is your choice and the site then has no control over your safety and is thus not responsible for you.

Sex dating is 100% sexually motivated – there may be motivation to find your right sexual match (getiton.com) or motivation to be anonymous (no strings attached) but for the most part sex daitng members are open and honest about wanting to find fun emotionally healthy singles.

Of course your sexually motivated date could turn serious when you realize you have more in common. But that’s usually no the point of the meetup.

Modern day sex dating flips the usual boy meets girl scenario on it’s head.

It’s by no means seedy or underground – members who choose to find others are just in a point in their life where serious relationships don’t fit.

They still want emotion passion respect and fun, just not all of the arguments and expectations that come with serious relationships.

Sex dating is about having fun with many different people – it attempts to focus on an open and honest user intent.

It allows you to create and develop relationships with like minding  people in your area – swinging groups and fetish communities area already actively meeting in the weekends – you just need to join.

Sex dating sites allow you to set up your own groups where people can join and share information such as meet up dates , photos and stories.

The term dating is really rather false – because you don’t date online at all – you meet people and interact with them in the hope of meeting up offline. Usually the interactions inside forums and blogs is enjoyable enough however when you meet up with someone in your area that you get on with well – the magic really happens.

So it’s not really dating until you suggest an offline meeting – all of the dating happens offline – It’s really a matchmaking and personals ad directory.

All of the power of sex dating is allowing you to get the number of someone close-by that happens to have the same motivations as you.

Nothing to complex about the whole situation it just relies on you having a profile that attracts attention.

So long as your online often enough or email enough singles you will meet people. Whether you get on with them offline is a whole different story.

Video interaction such as skype allows users of causal sex personals sites to interact on a much more personal level. I would advise you if you feel the need to do a google chat or skype call with your potential sexual partner.

It might take some of the mystery out of the blind date offline but it’s worth it for the safety.

Here are some interesting quotes from an article from NZ about the dating culture where nz women have on average 20 sexual partners (source)

“There’s no dating culture any more.” In candid interviews about their sexual experiences some of the women who are all in their twenties felt empowered by having sex and wanted to celebrate and enjoy it.

“If the first-up sex wasn’t any good women weren’t prepared to waste their time progressing the relationship”

No dating thanks… just the sex… Is this the new way of dating? Can you really find that much out from sex? Apparently that’s all we need and one night stands are on the rise. The empowerment of women and the easing of standards and judgement is enabling women to have multiple sexual partners and not be labelled as would have occurred in the past.

Perhaps female sexual behavior is strongly correlated to how male’s judge female promiscuity. If having many sexual partners before marriage greatly reduces the chance of a successful relationship as a result of the slut label then of course women would be weary of sleeping around.

Now it seems it’s not necessarily the women who have increased in confidence and libido but he restrictions that held them back have been lifted.

This is of course on occurring in some cultures but thanks to sex dating sites men and women are hooking up more and enjoying the sexual freedom they were born to enjoy.

Examples of sex dating online:

be naughty

adult friend finder



friend finder network (bdsm,alt,getiton,no strings attached)

Older Women Seeking Younger Guys

Perhaps the best fit for casual sex sites is in fact this age gap of older women and younger guys.

Divorced, separated, widowed or even attached older women are still on the lookout – they have the money freedom and time to explore and have fun. Younger guys are obviously on the lookout but the 20 something girls their own age are in heavy demand.

Not only from other guys but also older men – for some reason 40+ men, if they are given a choice, will still go for younger women. This puts alot of demand on younger women and gives them alot of choice.

Older women can still be attractive – they may have lost that youthful sheen but they gain experience, confidence and perhaps a little wisdom. Many like the idea of having a toyboy or younger guy to enjoy the nights with but have no idea how to attract one. Casual dating sites connect ethnicity , age difference and orientation to one location.

So where would you find these milf’s cougars and pumas… or if your the older women where would you find these guys?

After all some younger men are just not interested in dating older women – either they are not attracted to older women or they get enough from girls their own age.

You can always go to sites specifically related to this age hookup like cougardating or similar sites but I would recommend that you stick to the larger established sites and simply specify your intent.

Going for the volume profile approach rather than camping down in one niche site will get your name out their and give you the best chance of hooking up.

The main reason why this age difference hookup works so well online compared to just hitting up some nightclub is that it’s still a little taboo.

  • An older women rarely get’s out to bars in search of guys
  • It’s not socially accepted yet that it’s ok for her to sleep around with lots of younger guys
  • It’s not a normal thing for a younger guy to approach an older women in seduction mode
  • Most of the older women you will be attracted to will be attached/married
  • Most wont be interested in younger guys
  • Most older women will be after stable wealthy older guys

Allowing an open anonymous and acceptable location for people to meet and discover each other eliminates the stigma and judging that may have occurred offline.

This elimination of any fear then lowers the bar for everyone thus relationships can be established that wouldn’t have ordinarily been possible.

Making the site (dating.pullingladies.com) free only increases the appeal further.

Where To Find Older Women

Even though I have said their wont be to many older women on the lookout their will be one or two bars close-bye that 35-50 year old women tend to hang out… It wont be your normal rave style bar but it’s worth a shot.

Online there is always the likes of craigslist but your better of going with a regulated paid personals site if you want quality and security.  Senior friend finder is an option as well as any of the other friend finder networks.

plenty of fish okcupikd oasis active and yangutu are tending towards younger audiences but you will still be able to find what your looking for – they are all free so you might as well create profiles to give yourself a chance.

Where To Find Younger Men

Look – you don’t have to go far to find a younger guy that would be keen for casual sex but if your no looker it’s unlikely your going to be able to keep his attention focused on you for very long. As far as volume of younger guys looking for sex is concerned it’s not going to be hard – Any dating site or bar is full of them.

As far as quality and maturity of younger guys is concerned I can’t comment. You will have to be the judge of that – it all depends on where you look.

It’s guaranteed that you are going to find immature emotionally null dudes looking to abuse a casual sex relationship. Choose wisely and you should be able to find someone that meets all of your  needs.

Older women have gained alot of experience over the years – they know what they want and how to get it. You will still need to make the first move but expect that they will show you the ropes at some stage. They will be considerably more forward than your average 23 year old girl.

They will also be more flexible and understanding of your situation. There is every reason to be out seeking older women if your a younger guy sick of the immaturity of your age group.

The Likely Outcome

It’s likely just going to be an exiting short term casual fling – she might well be a little eccentric and certainly experienced. Depending on your personality it could be the time of your life or a complete flop. Don’t give up on the idea of seeking out a cougar – some of these older women might be a little nuts in the head.

You’ll thank me when you find that attractive 37 year old sex buddy that’s upforit every night of the week. Don’t forget that women your own age are always going to be their – keep that opportunity open for a girl your own age to come into your life.





The Expectations On Modern Day Men: The Alternative Is Being A 40 Year Old Boy

If your a guy anywhere from 18 through to 30 lifes going to be a little tough… But it get’s better

For your female counterparts it’s one of the best stages of their life – it’s when they have the most power – they are youthful and fertile and every guy wants them.

For you it’s a crazy testosterone filled time of sexual frustration with patches of bliss – Unless you have found yourself in a wealthy situation your power and influence wont be particularly large.

It get’s better because as we age and grow in wisdom and in wallet the respect others give us increases. You might find that inside your place of work or play you are somewhat of a celebrity… D List celeb at that but it all counts – One of the biggest attraction elements you can use if fame and status. Women just seem to go wild for it. Perhaps you climb the ladder in work and finally have some say in the running of the business.

In this time you should experiment and live life to the fullest. Enjoy and exploit the masculine energy that pulses through your veins… the continuous energy source that never dies in your loins needs a place to lie and let it not lie in your hands too often. Save it up for a lucky women which you so happily seduce with your confidence and charm.

You will screw up

You will go through breakups that rip at your soul

Relationships will die out

Anxiety fear and worry about the future will come and go

If you get to 30 and your not to screwed up by drugs… not to fucked in the head by a bad women… and are holding down a steady income you are doing better than 99% of the worlds men out their.

It’s a tough world out their for guys trying to find their place – alot is expected of you and moving through your 20’s is where you discover the courage to stand up and be that man. You have to find your voice and gain perspective.

Women want a lot from you – as a man you have to adopt a lot of responsibility.

There is a lot of EXPECTATION on the modern man… Live by your own set of standards of who you really want to be – if your not interested in  pleasing a high maintenance women accept the consequence and do not look back .

The Mating mind by geoffrey miller suggests that almost all of our source of motivation comes from the need to reproduce… Accept that sex is a big part of your life – embrace it but do not let it become an obsession – use the energy to make your dreams become a reality.

A Few Tips On How To Be A Successful Modern Day Man

Follow your dreams – men can get bogged down and lazy if they have nothing to live for. If you want to be the man that women crave and dream about you have to strike out and live your dream. An unfulfilled job will lead to an unfulfilled soul.

Create ROUTINES – through your routines you will manifest success in the long term.

Adopt a long term mindset – It’s not going to happen overnight… or even in a few years! but it will happen. For me the only way I was able to think beyond 2 weeks was giving up alcohol. It enabled me to focus and clarify as well as adopt a long term mindset.

Get the hell away from drugs – drugs indicate you are attempting to escape from a reality that you do not wish to be in. Meaning you do not have the confidence or do not believe you have the ability to change your current reality. Sure drinking is fun when your 18 but if your still hitting it hard at 30… you don’t want to be that guy.

Get into control! – control of your future, control of your finances, control of your emotions. The more control I feel like I have the happier I am… even if the control I have is a delusion.

Get perspective – a mentor / guru or wise friend is helpful when your lost and confused.

Choose your friends carefully – you tend to turn out like that or your closest friends or at least those that you look up to. If your close friends are not going in the direction you would like to see yourself in find a mentor… (They don’t have to know you exist)

You are what you eat – seriously!

Exercise daily – if you feel like your going a little insane get out and get moving.

Establish a great group of male friends – do this through sport or work – guys need that support and a place to unwind and chat about life.

Get educated – there is enough information and books online to reach a high level of education. Continually better yourself and your mindset with audio books, seminars and classes.

So that’s about all of the cliche one liners I could come up with that helped me through some tough years – seriously though if you read more into just 3 of the messages in this post your life will change for the better. If I was to pick any 3 out it would have to be: Focus on establishing good routines and stay away from drugs/eat healthy , exercise and follow your passion. That was more like 5…


So encase you had not picked up the above motivational prose were a reasonable description of what it takes to be a modern day man. Just generally good advice on how shit tends to unwind. Every successful guy has his issues and rough patches… I can tell you one thing… no matter how hard it might seem to face your fear and work hard toward a goal… It’s 100 TIMES harder to run away and succumb to the fear.

The alternative is pretty much a life of second best – A life of what if – A life of playing second fiddle to an alpha male – A life of anxiety and financial struggle

An all of this pain because you didn’t want to control your emotions and face up to the real reason for the pain?

If you take the easy road now it usually comes back to bite you in the end – so if your thinking that taking the easy option is actually easier… you might be right in the short term. But tomorrow and next year are just going to get harder and harder.

Strike a balance and you wont have to accept second best.

I mention that the alternative to living and becoming the modern day man is to become the 40 year old boy. What I mean by this is you become that guy that never grew up – that immature uneducated man who settled and is now miserable on the inside. He has no security, his mind is messed up with drug use, his emotions are all over the place… Worst of all – he has no respect and has few friends.

STEP UP and take what might seem like the hard road now! Because the alternative is 100 TIMES worse!



Bisexual Casual Dating

I was initially surprised at the volume and ratio of bisexual and bicurious women and men on the friend finder network… I guess I just wasn’t expecting to see almost all of the younger women online listed as bi’s…

But then I realized the reality of casual dating – for the most part you are looking for a casual dating partner. Young women don’t need any help finding sex, any guy on the street would be happy to have a one night stand with a women.

- bisexuals might – gay and lesbians might – 40+ women might – 

But attractive younger women for the most part just don’t need to advertise this sort of stuff. Which is why the casual dating sites you come across tend to attract a crowd slightly left or right of center. Singles and couples that are into some sort of fetish that is not currently considered the norm.

As a bi guy or bi girl it’s not as easy to find other bisexuals to date – you can’t assume that every other girl would be interested in you sexually. 1/10 or whatever the ratio is, is a tough thing to accept and risk. You don’t just ask someone if their bisexual these days.

Casual dating sites for the most part can help to hook up demographics that wouldn’t ordinarily meet in every day life. A 35 year old single mother of two in a peak sexual state can contact a 22 year old guy for an intimate encounter.

The 52 year old guy could get lucky with a 25 year old girl that’s into older guys

You might have a quirky interest or currently taboo sexual interest that is not normally brought up in conversation… You can find communities online that are into this sort of thing.

You might not even be that into bdsm or you may just like the idea of being bisexual and want to try it… where do you go? All of your friends are straight – heck you don’t know a single bisexual girl in your friends circle…

The power of casual dating is not only hooking up regular age and preference matches but actually finding you a person you wouldn’t have ordinarily found as a result of social standards.

There are a few decent bisexual and lesbian dating sites (planet Sappho) being one brought out by the friend finder network… however in most cases dating sites like pof or okcupid allow you to list your orientation as bisexual so it’s not really an issue. These large free dating networks should work fine for you – if you are interesting in a more specific community they are available but will be paid versions.

Dating.Pullingladies.com has a list of orientations including bisexual and bicurious gay straight and everything in between.

So anyway – back to the reason for the post – Casual dating does not always reflect normal offline behavior – certain personalities , orientations and sexuality are attracted to the anonymous overly sexual nature of casual sex dating.

You could argue that all dating sites are heavily routed in sex because if you were going to be honest it’s the root motivation. Even the innocent and delicate christian values of eHarmony can’t deny the sexual nature of the service. Casual dating sites are just honest about what everyone really wants.

If you want a serious relationship… and most do… You can list it in your profile and hope that users respect your intent.

It’s quite natural to be on the lookout for both casual sex and serious relationships at the same time.

It’s natural for women to be confused about their sexuality – some confuse interest with sexual attraction – others are just open to both sexes and some are full blown gay teetering on the gay/straight decision.

For the most part the bisexual women is sexually confident adventurous sure of herself and in general is having more fun.

So go forth and enjoy the experimentation that is batting for both teams. Use the power of the interwebs to find the people that will make your life more fun and more sexually satisfying.

Because whether your sitting squarely on the gay fence or just peering over there will be a place for you online.

You will be able to find a community of bisexual singles in your area… It only takes one to find many others through friend associations.

Share A Sex Story At PL Casual Dating

Free Casual Sex Dating… What could be better?

A casaul sex website that allows you to get into contact with other singles in your area looking for friends with benefits and casual dating.

PL CASUAL DATING is set up with blogs forums and groups enabled – however it was designed with simplicity in mind – all you really want to be able to do is get in touch via email with someone that you might get on with. With free applications like skype and gmail video calling it makes sense to use these services.

Pl casual dating gives you plenty of room to express yourself in your profile – from favorite music books and interests to height weight and sexual preference… It also allow you to upload as many photos of yourself as you wish.

The chat enabled feature was recently removed due to security issues but any contact can still be made through your own personal email inside dating.pullingladies.com or within the forums and groups themselves.

Blogs are a great way to express yourself and share with the world your thoughts.

The power of the friend finder network is the great active community run by user written blogs – if you have something to share with the PL community you should do it through a blog at dating.pullingladies.com

If your looking to set up an encounter within a certain area of the US start a location group.

Currently there are location groups set up for a few states CA, AZ, NY etc

Other site updates are a couple of new photo albums and forum threads.

The great thing about dating stories is that EVERYONE has a least one really funny dating or sex story to tell. And because it’s pretty much anonymous you can be honest about sharing all the funny bits without someone you know seeing it.

Every great piece of dating advice really is just a good story – in order to teach others what we tend to do is give an account of our personal experience.

This allows you to come across personable and on the same level while also getting your message across.

The listener can then take what they wish from the story and perhaps even replicate your success.

Stories are how we have communicated for centuries – your own experiences can hold more wisdom than you think.

The thing with dating advice is that there are rarely right and wrong ways – so in the future if your friend asks you what to do try a story. If you have tended to dictate the correct way to do something in the past practice empathy and reply a story in the past that relates to his/her situation.

They will feel that you understand them and will thankyou for the funny and insightful story you told.


You can share a story at other sites such as:







For the most gruesome and honest sex stories check out




Getting A Girl Into Bed: The #6 Mistakes Men Make Before Sex


Approaching , getting numbers and creating trust is mentioned alot but when it comes to sealing the deal how do you fair?

Actually getting a women into bed can prove difficult – this is another time like approaching when guys tend to freeze up and make a mountain out of a mole hill.

The ease with which you can transition into sex will depend on how smoothly the night has gone. If their has been little flirting , touching and sexual tension the jump to sex seems too far… If throughout the night you have been bridging the gap with good keno and some kissing then sex becomes a natural progression.

Even so… the line “let’s have sex” will still have some stigma attached to it.

I would suggest that you never let it come to this – women rarely agree to have sex with a guy from a rational intellectual point of view. It’s because they are aroused or in an emotional state. Getting a girl into bed involves the transition up a ladder – the first rung being eye contact across the room, the next rung of the ladder being the approach.

Most guys understand the first half of the ladder quite well but when they get up to the giddy heights of sexual transition most freak out and revert to horny desperate pleas for sex.

Most women do feel nervous during this first time with you as well so they will forgive a bit of hesitancy on your part.

Here’s how to make the night run smoothly for the two of you:

When I mentioned that women say yes to sex from an emotional point of view I meant it. You have to keep her in this “turned on” state which is especially important before hand.

The big mistakes men make before sex:

  1. They don’t assume that she want’s it
  2. They make her decide!
  3. They create big transition gaps
  4. They pull her out of state
  5. They get nervous and lose confidence
  6. Skipping out rungs on the transition ladder


Most guys will assume that they are working with pandoras box and they don’t have the key… Assumptions can be costly so it’s safe to be a little hesitant but when the time is right you have to believe that she wan’ts you just as much as you want her.


NEVER let her make the yes/no decision on sex. “do you want to have sex?” might seem like an innocent even polite question to ask but it usually ends with a hesistant “ahhh….ummm…. i dont know…!”
She might even sound a little annoyed when she says this… It’s because she is frustrated that you made her make the decision that should have been yours to make.
The last thing she wants is to come across slutty. Just trust me on that one – women do not like having to make this decision.
In fact it shouldn’t have to come to this in the first place – you should be able to transition from kissing to sex without uttering a word.
What I mean by this is guys want a straight up “let’s have sex” phrase from a girl – in most cases we don’t get it – instead women are happy to give flirtatious hints about what they are thinking… Or they wont give any hints at all they just wont say no to any of your advances.
If she is not letting on that she is interested in sex but she hasn’t rejected any of your ideas during the night keep testing her with more and more sexual hints.
Read into what she really want’s by what her body language is telling you.


By transition gaps I mean large time or distance gaps – she may have agreed to take things further but she is forced to think about the decision because of your lack of planning. A more literal example would be having to travel long distances to your house from the bar and her getting bored… You forgetting protection and having to make a trip to the store while she thinks about you as a good choice!


Keep her in state:
Transition gaps pull her out of the emotional state she was in when she said yes – rather than chatting about your annoying boss before sex keep up the sexual romantic or mysterious tension that you had when she agreed (through body language or inference/hinting)


Getting nervous is natural – especially if this is your first time with this girl and she is nervous too – embrace it and even bring it up. She will thank you for making apparent that both of you can be nervous or apprehensive together and it be ok. But don’t let your nerves make you act like a wimp and not take action with a women that clearly want’s it… Nerves do have a habit of knocking your confidence.


When you skip rungs in the transition ladder it’s like jumping head first into a hottub… apart from breaking your nose on the bottom the head is to much of a jump in senses. Warm her up with flirting during the comfort and trust phase. Make sure you hold her hand or that she is ok with touching you before going in for the kiss… Make sure you have kissed her before moving on to the next rung. To many guys try to jump into the deep end without dipping their feet in first.

How Andrew Got His Wife Back

Andrew was well aware of the rough patch that the relationship was in but the divorce came as a huge surprise. Money stress and time away from his wife soon pulled them apart. Over time and through a lack of communication Andrews wife Megan decided to call and end to it all.

Andrew sunk into depression and drug abuse – he felt that it was unlikely he would ever be able to attract another women like his wife. He felt alone, defeated, unwanted and unloved.

This was 6 months ago – He emailed me about his situation and I referred him to the m3 system and the ex recovery system.

I wasn’t expecting him to email me back but he got back to me recently and said he was happily married with Megan again.

The divorce never went through…

Andrew was able to discover the real reasons why his wife left him rather than the confused emotional talk Megan was feeding him. The thing is… in most cases women have little idea WHY they no longer feel attracted to you… they just dont. And that’s about all they end up telling you – or worse they’ll feed you false information leading you down the wrong path.

By finding out how other divorced guys are managing to get their ex wife’s back you end up gaining valuable perspective. Perspective that you wouldn’t have received otherwise – sometimes you need that second or third helping hand to steer you in the right direction.

I asked what specifically was the reason why Megan came back…

Andrew said there wasn’t any single line or technique but rather a mindset shift that enabled him to see the relationship in a different light.

He used the anonymous written letter mentioned by ashley kay here mentioned here http://www.pullingladies.com/get-your-ex-back/

There is no question that marriages can be fixed – if there are young children involved it’s even more important to work on the relationship.

As you may know success leaves clues and patterns – these patterns that occur over and over can be documented and reused by other men looking to repair broken marriages.

You want your ex wife back but your not sure which steps need to be taken to win her trust back… You may not even be sure why she left in the first place. Getting your spouse back into your life might seem like a chess game at this point but you have to believe it can be done. It can be done because thousands of clueless guys have done it before.

So why did your wife leave?

  • Infidelity
  • Lying
  • Miscommunication
  • Assumptions
  • Financial Stress
  • Lack Of Romance
  • Different Life Paths
  • Anger Issues
  • Drug Abuse

There are many many different reasons why she decided to call it quits with you – deep down you know why. She will have likely told you why. If she hasn’t it’s time you ask her one question… WHY?
Once you have some idea of why she left you can figure out what you need to do to change it.

Andrew was able to rekindle the trust and love with Megan because of some revelation he had. Perhaps he was acting in a selfish or hateful way without knowing it. Perhaps he couldn’t be trusted. He may have been impossible to live with for personality related reasons.

But some of the reasons above are tolerable right? If Meg married Andrew she must have made some compromise along the way. It’s tough as a guy who has been divorced to find out the REAL REASON your wife left.

What one thing can you change about your life that will give you the most leverage when you are trying to get your wife back?

How would Andrew have found out what the real reason for the divorce was and how to fix it without help from friends family and supportive networks. Sometimes the only way to open your eyes is have someone tell you the honest truth.

It’s amazing how blind you are to what’s going on around you until an honest friends points out that your hurting the one person you love. If your willing to make the sacrifices necessarily to fix the issues and become the husband that your wife needs you to be THEN you can win her back.

In most cases a divorced husband will have to much pride to ask for help because he knows what truth is coming. He knows that he will have to face up to the truth and be courageous through some tough times.
Brutal honesty is really tough to take – nobody likes to accept that they have been:

  • Living a lie
  • Acting immaturely
  • Been wrong all these years
  • Hurting their spouse

No one likes to face up to the truth that they have been damaging their family. But it may be the ONE good thing you can do. It may well be the start to a whole new healthy positive and authentic life with your wife.

Your wife may have been waiting and waiting for you to change and just lost hope. Her only option was to get the divorce she never wanted to get. You can be sure she will take you back once you discover the one thing she wanted you to change.

What Does Casual Dating Really Mean?

To avoid confusion the best way I can put the word CASUAL in a dating sense is  this…

If I am casually dating someone it means I am not invested in them…

I am not invested in them emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially!

I am not expected to show up anywhere on time, answer their calls, spend money on them or perform any favors for them. Even though these are all nice things to do they are not EXPECTED of a casual dating partner.

When you enter into a relationship you become invested in that person – casual dating, casual sex and casual relationships are a way of removing the complications of emotional investment.


It means different things to different people – therefore I would advise you to figure out not only what it means to you but to your current casual date!

This is because if your views differ strongly on this point there is going to be some confusion and even tears.

Assumptions can be very costly in the dating game!

The usual story goes like this

Sarah assumes that casual dating means that she is going out with Tim on casual basis – to her this means tim does not sleep with anyone else or is not to associate sexually with anyone else. If he wishes to he must consult her and on this meeting she will decide if she want’s to end the relationship or not. To her casual means no plans for marriage or kids… just fun while we are at college or in this phase of her life.

Tim assumes that casual dating means casual sex – he believes that it’s ok to sleep around and that sarah is an amazing person to hang out with… kind of like friends with benefits. He hangs out often with her but doesn’t feel attached to her in any emotional way. He sees Sarah as an amazing friend with which he as a unique relationship with. However he read no fine-print that said he couldn’t see other girls while occasionally sleeping with Sarah.

To many women casual dating is an oxymoron – the contradiction in terms occurs because in casual dating you are supposed to hold back a part of your emotional love… however the very term dating is meant to be a sharing of love between two people.

The wiki definition of casual dating: source

A compound of casual, meaning not regular or permanent and dating, defined as going out with someone in whom one is sexually interested. Casual dating differs from the “friends with benefits” concept of dating in that the former assumes dating may lead to a relationship and the latter satisfies current sexual needs of both parties.

Is Casual Dating Different To A Casual Relationship?


Yes – the very word relationship suggests that there is some exclusivity…

However once again these terms are hazy depending on the two people involved.

In a casual relationship there are some romantic and emotional needs being met however there is no expectation that:

  • future dating will take place
  • monetary support will take place
  • marriage is on the cards
  • they will answer your calls
  • they will turn up on time

A casual relationship could also be called friends with benefits…

Like I said before the definition is hazy and is up for interpretation…

Some like to think that a casual relationship can certainly involve emotional investment. That casual dating can be very romantic and even rather serious. I would place this thinking more in the category of serious relationship turned bad.

That’s not to say that your one night stand or casual relationship is not full of passionate sex where you do feel a real connection. Good casual relationships always have a strong underlying knowledge from both parties that either could ditch at any stage.

The Test

If your casual date let’s you know that she is leaving for a 6 month journey around the world with her friends, and your devastated, it’s a good sign your emotionally invested. For you, the relationship become more than just casual sex and quite rightly so… In fact many casual dating relationships turn serious and many of these transform into marriage.

There is nothing wrong with this – you just have to be aware of the repercussions of letting your sexual motivations play cupid in your life. Your dick is terrible at distinguishing between suitable long term partner and great lay.

This is in fact where many guys get into trouble – the strong and persistent sexual motivation forces guys to select based on sex FIRST and suitability SECOND.

This is where glaring personality mismatches tend to show up but not before they guy has fallen madly in love with his sexual match.

There is nothing to fear with regards to casual dating so long as both parties know the score. Talk openly about your intentions and your plans for the future.
psychology today suggests talk about FWB (friends with benefits) relationships with regards to the research done:

Researchers at Wayne State University in Detroit and Michigan State in East Lansing surveyed 125 undergraduates (65 women, 60 men). [Bisson, MA and TR Levine, “Negotiating a Friends with Benefits Relationship,” Archives of Sexual Behavior (2009) 38:66.]

The main theme was that FWB were more likely to become friends after this relationship than they were to stay in and develop a committed relationship.

This sort of behavior is most common in young adults where “folks” are still looking to find their way.


Read Her Mind And Get Laid

Have you ever heard:

“Women are too complex”

“Women think too emotionally”

“Men just don’t understand women”

Well it’s Bullshit…

Yes women do think very emotionally but it’s not some secret code that we have to stress over. YOU already have all the tools to understand a women’s mind. Just access the knowing and natural empathy within yourself and you will be streaks ahead of every other guy.

In most cases women are nervous and uncertain when it comes to dating confident guys. They don’t know how they should act… if they come on too strong we get turned off. If they play hard to get we may not follow.

So long as your not completely in the dark on  female psychology you should have enough knowledge to be able to seduce something!

But I Still Need Help!

If you still need a little help unlocking her mind and discovering what she is really thinking with 97.5% accuracy take this quiz…


There are 8 questions to answer about the women you are interested in… The quiz will ask you about her personality.


If you know just a few things about the women you are going to approach (from a friend or just by asking her) you can find out very intimate secrets about her life and sexual attitude.

By taking the quiz you should be able to find out from a women if she is:


More women are open to one night stands than you are lead to believe by women and media figures. Find out first hand by asking her these carefully disguised questions.


Some women are happy to be single – it allows them to date multiple guys at once. If you are just after casual sex then these female personalities are fine. If your looking for gf material avoid these women like the plague!


Some women just don’t have the emotional security to stick around in a relationship for very long. They freak out and leave or they put on a fake persona for the first 3 months and are completely different people inside the relationship. Find out if this women is girlfriend material by putting her through this test.

One of the questions asks you about whether she is a risk taker in life – another asks you if she hangs out with predominantly male or female friends.

The answers the female quiz receives is then able to guess at the type of person she is likely to be in the future based on science also used by e.g. the US Air force and the Wharton school of business.

Now you can go into a bar or predefined situation armed with a set of questions that enable you to profile a women. If your on the lookout for casual sex you can screen out the serious girls so that you don’t waste your precious Saturday night sarge hours.

The set of questions is also a fun and unique value adding exercise.

Even though women are not as complex as you have been lead to believe they do require just a little decoding… a little mindreading. You will be able to read a women’s mind with the help of 3questionsgetthegirl

You see there really isn’t mind reading in the magical sense but you can read her mind if you understand natural feminine responses to certain stimuli.

By asking her predefined questions and by having an excellent knowledge of the likely answers you can predict with high certainty:

  • What kind of personality she has
  • What she’s like in bed
  • Her thoughts on casual sex
  • Her current level of interest in you (no more guessing… phew!)

In fact you can find out almost anything about her… but you have to know which questions to ask. Phrase them in a certain way and she’ll pull away from you rather than open up and reveal her personality.


As a contrast to reading her mind with reactions from your questions – you can read her body and get far. A women will often start the seduction process by signifying her interest with body language. A successful seducer knows which battles to pick by choosing the women that are already interested.

A womens body language and gestures are a good mirror to her thoughts and feelings. If her body language is closed and withdrawn you should assume that her thoughts are too. If she is smiling open and flirty the obvious assumption is that you are having a positive effect on her.

In order to read her mind and get laid you must understand more about what’s going on in her head.

Discover how what questions to ask and what body language clues to look out for inside:


Reasons To Use Sex Personals

Reasons To Use Sex Personals:


  1. Ease of use
  2. Speed
  3. Filtering and Search Abilities
  4. Niche interests (bdsm, couple, bisexual) can be sorted easily
  5. Anonymous – Secret – Private
  6. Fun
  7. High Volume Of Users
  8. Available anywhere in the world
  9. Increase sexual confidence
  10. Overcome shyness and approach anxiety
  11. Low barrier to entry
  12. Meet new people
  13. Experience new cultures
  14. Participate in blogs and forums
  15. Spice Up your marriage
  16. Find threesome
  17. Find yourself a f&^k buddy

Localized sex personals is the real motivation of singles on the lookout for casual sex – in most cases your not interested in talking to a stranger in another country because there is very little chance of actually meeting in real life.

Your really on the lookout for the girl nextdoor… that seemingly innocent neighbourhood girl that secretly want’s to meetup. She doesn’t want to come across as slutty to others but is motivated to find a guy to meet up with under the cover of darkness.

Casual dating personals sites give the motivated and adventurous the power to create their online avatar and fulfill their carnal desires. Never before has it been so easy to get into contact with sexual matches that you wouldn’t have known previously.

Yeah I get that their is facebook and that you can increase your social circle through this network but it’s kind of screwing the crew in a way. Gossip get’s out inside your friends circle and you don’t want to get the label of the one night stand guy.

With casual personals sites it’s an anonymous encounter with a women you don’t know – if it goes pear shaped = no bad repercussions for you.

By having a friend with benefits outside your personal circle you give yourself the opportunity to experiment. You allow yourself to take on a more adventurous side of your personality.

Reasons To Use Sex Personals: Friends With Benefits

The idea of friends with benefits is that you are actually good friends – you hang out and do what normal friends do… except on the off you sleep together.

Anyone that has arranged this sort of thing before will know that sex really does complicate things – sex is designed to do much more than just produce offspring! It also creates a bond between two people so that they stick around to help each other during the child rearing stages.

The odd sexual encounter isn’t going to affect you too  much if you don’t know the person but frequent sexual acts with a friend WILL start to send messages to your brain. The love center will start to kick in and feelings of attachment are common. As a result friends with benefits morphs into so much more than an innocent attempt at casual sex.

Sex personals allows you to separate your friends from your uncontrollable cravings… sometimes you just gotta have it and your work colleague might seem a good idea at the time but what if it get’s weird?

Women commonly choose sexual partners that are very distant from their friends network:

Sexual freedom + No label seems like a win win…

and in most cases it is – providing you choose carefully and protect yourself with offline transition safety measures you will find the people you meet online to be just like you. Most of them will be new to meeting others online for intimacy… most will be nervous about meeting you… most will be exited and eager in the knowledge that they know your real intentions.

Reasons To Use Sex Personals: Intent

It’s really the intent and your knowledge of their intent that makes the meeting via a casual dating site so interesting. There is a usually a long drawn-out process that takes place between to people on a date.

Usually there is constant feedback and testing of boundaries while trust is being established. This obviously still goes on with online relationships when they transition offline but the big difference is escalation safety. There is a hidden knowledge because you both have had a long online chat about what you would love to do…

Now it’s just a matter of getting to know each other and acting it out. This rapid sexual escalation from online to offline is unprecedented in human history. So if you feel a little odd about it know that your running into uncharted territories.

NOTE: some of the free options below are not specifically designed for casual dating. Many of the users within the large network that is pof will not be interested. Respect their intent and treat them like you would like to be treated. If they do not have casual dating in their profile it’s because (at this point in their life) they are not interested in casual sex.

Going with a paid option such as the friend finder network allows you access into a whole community (millions strong) of casual daters swingers and alternatives. You need to weigh up what your looking for – cupid and benaughty would be an example of a dating network that hits the middle ground and let’s you in the door without committing to full on sexual expression. So I guess there’s a site for every bodies needs – as you mature and need more variety you can upgrade to a more serious option.

Sex Personals Options





oasis active

plenty of fish


friend finder network

no strings attached

get it on

be naughty



Words Alone Wont Get You Laid

The idea that you can use a certain number of questions to get laid is ridiculous… Any phrase that suggests you can get laid just by talking to a women is lying through their teeth.

I am not saying that speech can’t help you emotionally connect with women but I am saying that speech alone wont get it done. In reference to the pandoras box system 3 questions get the girl it’s a cleverly placed marketing ploy.

The product it’self is well put together and the information very well researched. It’s a professional system for teaching men about female psychology and how to utilize this to get laid.

The reason why I’m certain that 3 questions wont get you laid is because it glosses over the crucial importance body language.

UCLA professor Albert Mehrabian, body language accounts for 55% of that impression (38% comes from tone of voice; the remaining 7% from our actual words). source

I still think the content of what you say is important – but it’s more HOW you say it. You know when you listen to some people and they make you feel good? that hypnotic drone of their voice somehow puts you in a great state?

Almost 40% of your impression is based on your tone of voice… Shocking.

So I guess I am just saying that 3 questions will get you the girl IF you focus on content AND delivery.

The pandoras box system is a very well put together, thoroughly researched seduction product that does not gloss over this in the system itself.

But it does use the idea that you can speak to a women and with the mere use of words have her waiting on your every word… Hard to believe but an exiting idea all the same.

I can’t tell you what the 3 questions that will get you laid are… it would spoil the secret.

But you can discover them here >>


More Than Pick Up Lines To Get Laid

The tricky thing about getting laid is understanding female psychology and how it relates to your own behavior. Becoming more self aware of her emotions and resistance factors like trust and safety are also crucial.

The pandoras box system understands this and goes into detail about the different female personalities. It teaches you much more than just pick up lines to get laid. Women are more complex than that – they wont allow you into their personal space with a few lines but they will if you have a complete understanding of what motivates them sexually.

If your able to display the right attraction signals

If your able to connect with her emotionally by not only using the right words but also the right body  language and eye contact

If your able to create an environment where it’s easy for her to say yes to your advances so that she doesn’t feel used or slutty in any way

Then it’s nigh on impossible not to get laid – because deep down women invented this whole game… They love being close to a guy that understands them and wake up feeling safe rather than used.

But let this not distract you from the power of words – they wont get you laid but they will get you very close. They do have the power to put women into emotional states that make them more likely to say yes to you. Because women wont say yes to sex intellectually only emotionally hence the reason for foreplay. She needs to be in an aroused state to accept you as a random guy in a bar.

Captivate her during the comfort phase and allow her to share her own personal stories… Sense words that describe feelings and emotions rather than descriptions of fact will get her into state.

I guy like ross jeffries is really into this nlp wordplay stuff.

Like I said early it really only accounts for a small percent of your overall effectiveness but if it’s something you want to focus on by all means get great at it.

It’s actually the combination of sense wording, eye contact , voice tone, posture and keno that will get you laid.

If your heading out tonight and plan on casual sex with an unsuspecting women of the night just understand that secretly she want’s what you want…

But she needs a guy to be able to do two things:

  1. Get her out of her head and into an emotional state of attraction toward you
  2. Provide an easy way for her to say yes to sex…

You have to be in the moment… In her head and talking about emotional topics… There has to be some sort of sexual tension created as a result of her attraction.

The transfer from point of contact to bed must be serendipitous – meaning she accidently found herself back at your place rather than it being planned all along… even if that’s what she planned for anyway.