Dating over fifty is completely different than dating at 20 or 30. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be more difficult. Imagine where you were in your life at 20. Were you stable emotionally and financially? Did you truly know yourself and what you were looking for? Did you understand how relationships work and the level of commitment involved?

Chances are the answers to these questions were no at 20, and yes if you consider where you are now. This can make mature dating much easier.

If you are just re-entering the dating world, you may feel lost or overwhelmed. The dating world has changed so much you may feel like you are entering another world. The good news is that the basics are still the same. Men are men and women are women (most of the time). If you look under the surface, you’ll find things haven’t changed as much as you thought.

You’ll still need to adapt to the changes, however. Changes in the dating world as well as the changes that come with age. Here’s your guide to finding love over fifty. What to say and do, where to find potential partners, and potential pitfalls. How to find a relationship and make it work.

Just the Facts

Only 18% of singles over fifty are dating. This can make it difficult to find someone. However, many people over fifty are interested in finding love, but something is holding them back. More than 40% said they were considering dating, but they haven’t done it yet. If you include them in your dating pool, it brings the number up to nearly 60%, which greatly increases your chances.

For those who aren’t dating, 60% said they didn’t need a relationship to be happy. You become more secure and self-sufficient when you get older, so this isn’t surprising. However, that doesn’t mean that the right person can’t enrich your life further. It can be a dating advantage, because if you want rather than need someone special in your life, you are going to be more selective.

More than 40% don’t think there’s anyone out there for them. There are plenty of wonderful people out there, and today it’s easier than ever to find them. Don’t give up on finding love because you don’t think you can find the right person. They are out there. More than 30% don’t know where to begin. That’s ok. I can help with that. Another 30% say they find the prospect of dating too stressful. Dating will always come with some stress, but there are ways to take much of this pressure off.

The good news is that once they choose to put themselves out there, mature daters are better at choosing a partner. 60% of senior daters say that they make better choices about whether a potential partner is compatible with them than when they were younger.

Over half say that part of the fun of dating over 50 is that the biological clock has stopped ticking. There’s no pressure to settle down and have children. Over 40% say that they have better quality dates now that they are older. When it comes to where single seniors find their dates, 80% say they meet dates through friends and family. 25% say that they date online.

You may have noticed that these numbers overlap. There are many issues involved when it comes to mature dating, and many seniors find themselves in more than one category.

 

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Why Bother?

Many seniors think that they are too old to worry about dating. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Your children are most likely grown and out of the house. Your career may be less demanding than it was in your younger years, or you may be retired. The point is that you have much more time on your hands than you did when you were younger.

You are probably at a point where you don’t feel that you need anyone else, but having someone to share your life with can still benefit you. Life is always more fun when you have someone to share it with. You are at a point in your life where you have time to focus on a relationship with someone else. Perhaps go on those romantic trips you never had the time or resources for when you were younger. The real question is, “Why not?”

The Challenges

Dating over 50 comes with its own set of challenges. Here are the most common challenges, and how you can overcome them.

Can’t Trust the Opposite Sex

Trust is an essential ingredient in a relationship. However, your past relationships may have taught you that you can’t trust the opposite sex or even your own judgement. First, you are going to have to move on from the past and shift your thinking. If you’ve had a significant other cheat or abuse you in some way, you will have a harder time trusting than most. It’s important to take it slow and not give your trust to easily, but allow people the opportunity to earn your trust.

If you believe that every partner you meet is untrustworthy, you will likely draw that type of person to you. If you do find someone trustworthy, then you still won’t be able to trust them. You have to change your mindset. There are trustworthy people out there, and you can find them.

You also have to renew confidence in yourself and your judgement. You are no longer a naive twenty-year-old. You’ve seen all the games and heard all of the lies. You have to learn to be discerning. To not be blind to red flags, but not assuming that everything a potential partner says is a lie either.

Guilt About Dating

Feeling guilty about dating is another issue that plagues many single seniors. If you’ve lost a spouse, you may feel that beginning to date is cheating on them in some way. Perhaps you were raised to believe that marriage is forever, and that if you got a divorce you must spend the rest of your life being single. You may be worried that your children will feel betrayed if you date someone else.

Everyone has the right to be happy. If you’ve lost a spouse, you know that they want you to be happy. However, whether to date again is a very personal decision, and you need to do what is right for you. If you believe in your heart that you shouldn’t date again, that is okay. Don’t let any well-meaning friends or family push you into something that you aren’t ready for. If you do have a desire to date, you’ll have to work through your feelings. Know that anyone that truly loved you will want you to be happy. If you are concerned about your children’s feelings, then talk with them about it. You will most likely find them understanding of your needs.

If you’ve gone through a divorce, you may experience these same feelings of guilt. You must forgive yourself for the failure of the marriage, even if it wasn’t your fault. You’ll also need to mourn the loss of the relationship before you can begin to move on. Recognize that you have the right to be with someone who truly loves you and treats you accordingly.

Are you ready to date again? If the thought of dating or going on a date fills you with guilt, then you may not be ready. However, the first date will most likely cause you to feel some guilt. It’s up to you to decide if you need to date and work through these feelings or if you aren’t ready yet.

Finding yourself constantly talking about your late spouse or ex is another indication that you aren’t ready. It’s natural to talk about them with your date, but if the whole date ends up being about them instead of you and your date, then you aren’t ready. Beware of waiting till you feel completely ready, however. You can compare dating again to having a child. You’ll never be truly ready, but once you start you learn along the way.

Therapy can be very helpful if you are having trouble moving on. Books and support groups can also help. Whether your marriage ended by death or divorce, you will mourn the loss of your marriage.

Fear of Getting Hurt

After a painful loss, the fear of getting hurt again can prevent you from taking a chance on love. However, going through life feeling lonely is a form of pain. Sometimes by trying to avoid something, we bring it on ourselves. There’s a chance that dating can cause you pain. There’s also a chance that you will find someone that makes your life better. Living in fear is never a pleasant experience. You won’t be able to move on until you let go of the hurt from your past.

Independent/Set in Your Ways

You may feel that you are too independent or set in your ways to make room for someone else. Some people are truly loners, and it is extremely difficult for them to live with another person. However, most of us have a need for companionship. You don’t have to give up your independence when you find love.

You will have to make some compromises when it comes to doing everything your own way, but a loving couple can easily navigate these compromises together without either of them feeling hurt or cheated. If it’s something that you really won’t budge on, talk to your partner early on and see if they are ok with that.

Too Stressful

You may feel that dating again is too stressful or not worth the effort. The truth is that it doesn’t have to be nearly as stressful as you might imagine. Knowing more about how to date these days is very helpful to make it less stressful. Being honest with yourself and others and speaking your mind also helps.

Don’t Know Where to Start

Perhaps you’ve been out of the dating scene for a long time. Whether you’ve been through a death, divorce, or just decided not to date for a long period of time, the dating world may look much different than the last time you went on a date. That’s ok. We’ll look at how to get back into dating, but first let’s look at how things have changed.

New Millennium, New Rules

Let’s look at how things have changed since the turn of the millennium. Whether your last date was five years ago, or fifty, things have changed. Looking at how things have changed in the last decade and a half will give you an idea of what’s different, and how to cope.

Online Dating

Ten years ago, online dating was like a dirty secret. You might do it, but you didn’t want everyone to know. In my case I was constantly lectured about how I was going to meet a serial killer and never be heard from again.

Now online dating is so mainstream that the old-fashioned idea of meeting someone in real life seems outdated to most. We’ll get more into online dating later, but if you still have dreams of bumping into someone at the grocery store and living happily ever after, don’t worry. You can meet people in real life or online, or both if you prefer.

Monogamy

There was a time when if you were seeing someone on a regular basis, especially more than once a week, or having sex, that this meant you were exclusive. You didn’t have to talk about it. Now days, you aren’t exclusive until you make it official. At what point you do this is up to you and your partner. If you aren’t comfortable sharing your lover with someone else, then you should be sure that you are exclusive before you sleep together.

Hair (Yes, That Kind)

Manscaping has become popular. Some men have no body hair, some trim theirs, and some are brave enough to go all natural. This also goes for pubic hair for men and women.

If you are used to the natural look, a bald lover can be a bit of a surprise. As far as your personal grooming habits, you should do whatever makes you feel sexy. Waxing your entire body is not a requirement for a successful dating life.

Texting

Texting has taken the place of romantic letters. It’s acceptable to text someone to ask for a date or even break up with them via text if you only went on a few dates. Texting has also taken the place of regular phone conversation.

However, it’s still a good idea to use your smartphone to make calls occasionally. Calling when asking someone out for the first date is a good idea. Regular phone conversations when the relationship becomes more serious are also good. Actual phone calls can help set you apart from others, and bring you closer together than texts.

Safe Sex

Safe sex has become mainstream and expected. There’s no cause for embarrassment if you are a woman and pull a condom out of your purse. If the relationship becomes serious, you can work out how to be safe when you are sleeping together. However, if you are casual, you need to stay safe.

Meeting Up

For the first few dates, you will meet your date instead of the man picking up the woman. This is safer for the woman, and it keeps the man from feeling like a taxi. If you both like the old-fashioned method of the man picking up the woman, then feel free to do so. Just know it isn’t expected today.

Going Dutch

Going dutch has become the norm. If you are a man, you aren’t obligated to pay for the women’s portion of the bill. It’s still a nice gesture if you would like to do so. If you are a woman, you should expect and offer to pay your portion. Don’t be surprised if the man offers to pick up the tab. Accept if he does. If he doesn’t, it doesn’t mean that he isn’t interested. It’s just the way things are in the age of equality.

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Pictures

Ladies, if you haven’t dated since picture phones came out, you may be surprised, and/or offended, when you receive a picture of a man’s penis. I’ve always found it disrespectful for someone to send that type of picture without at least asking first, but eventually you will have a man offer or just send one without preamble.

It can also be a shock the first time a man asks you to send a nude picture. When is the right time for these types of pictures is up to you, but know that everyone sends nudes at some point these days. If you are a guy, you may get lucky and have a woman surprise you with a picture or at least offer.

Regardless of your sex, when you get these types of pictures, make the other person feel attractive. Unless sending it was completely unwarranted. Then by all means say so, or just ask them if they are cold.

Cyber Stalking

Cyber stalking is now the norm. If someone is interested in you, they have probably googled you. They follow you on Twitter and are friends with you on Facebook. It’s perfectly normal and accepted to do so. While it may seem a bit strange, it shows that they are interested in you and your life.

Kinky

People are kinkier these days. Many sexual acts that were once taboo have crossed the line between strange and freaky to hot and kinky. Be prepared when you delve into sex. You may be surprised by some of your partner’s likes and fantasies. If you are online dating, there’s a box to check (or even an entire website) for whatever you are into.

Porn

Men and even many women watch porn these days. Regardless of how you feel about it personally, if you are looking for a man who doesn’t watch porn, you will be looking a long time. Researchers in Montreal had to cancel a study on men and porn because they couldn’t find a group of men who didn’t watch porn for a control group.

Finding a Date

You may be wondering where to find a date. Online dating is all the rage these days, but there are also many places to meet potential partners in everyday life. One advantage that you have over younger singles is great social skills. You know how to start and hold a conversation. How to show interest while being respectful.

Your biggest obstacle to approaching the opposite sex will probably be your self-confidence. However, a lifetime of socializing means that you have the skills that you need. You simply need to have a little faith in yourself and make a move.

One way to meet someone new is to do something that you enjoy. If you enjoy outdoor activities, you can join a hiking club or start spending saturdays at your local park hiking trails. There are clubs for nearly anything that you enjoy doing, and it’s a great way to enjoy yourself and find people with common interests. You can also learn to do something new. Cooking classes and dancing lessons are a few ways to learn a new skill and find a potential partner.

If you enjoy drinking, happy hour is a good place to meet someone new. Happy hour is a much more laid back affair than the bar scene of your twenties. Enjoy a nice cocktail and chat with people at the bar. Wine tasting events are also a good place to meet people and enjoy some adult beverages.

You can also invite people to come to you. Throw a dinner party and have your friends bring a friend or two. This is a great way to expand your social circle.

Old Flames

You’ve heard the stories and seen the movies. A couple goes their separate ways only to realize in Act 3 that they were meant for each other. They ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. Of course, that’s the fairy tale version. Should you consider dating old flames in real life?

Sites like Facebook make it easy to connect with people that you haven’t seen in years. As someone who reconnected with an old flame and married them, I can tell you that it can work. However, you should know that rekindling an old flame can be a very fast track type of relationship. All the emotions you once felt for the person will come back fairly quickly. I married my spouse after three weeks of being back together. I don’t regret my decision one bit, but if you aren’t ready for an intense emotional connection, you shouldn’t rekindle a relationship with someone that you had strong feelings for.

You have to accept that people change. If you haven’t spoken in 20 or 30 years, you can’t assume that they are the same person they were then. You’ve both changed, and you will need to take some time to get to know each other again. Be careful about assuming that you know things, because you are different people now.

The other thing that you should know is that the issues that you had the first time around may still be there. People change, but your history together will probably mean that you have some issues to work through. This can be tough, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth it. It took my husband and I a year or two to completely work through our issues, but it was completely worth it.

You should also consider the circumstances that caused you to break up in the first place. Have those circumstances changed? For example, you may have split up because one of you wanted kids and the other didn’t. After fifty, that’s pretty much a moot point. However, even if your children are adults now, you should consider how your old flame will react to them if they never wanted children.

In many cases you’ll find the circumstance that caused you to go your separate ways no longer applies. If it still applies, you need to consider if it’s a deal breaker for you before you get into a relationship.

Deal Breakers

Deal breakers are qualities that you won’t tolerate in a partner. Deal breakers go alongside must haves, which are qualities or traits that you must have in a partner. For most people, cheating is a deal breaker. If someone isn’t faithful, they don’t want that person as a partner. For someone that has children, they will require someone who can accept their children. You should decide what your deal breakers are before you begin dating, so you aren’t tempted to compromise because you like someone.

It’s best to make a list of the qualities that you must have, and the ones that you won’t accept. You should also include a column for things that you would like to have, and one for things that you prefer your partner not do. For non-smokers, for example, someone who smokes may be less than desirable, or smoking may be a deal breaker.

Putting everything down on paper helps you prioritize the qualities that you are looking for, and makes it more difficult for you to compromise on your deal breakers. Common deal breakers include lifestyle differences including smoking and drinking, differences in spending habits, differing sexual expectations, pets, children, and religion.

Should You Remarry?

Mature dating is one thing, but should you get remarried? Some people don’t want to remarry for practical reasons. Others are independent and they don’t want to give that up. However, some people feel like a relationship isn’t completely real if you aren’t married. Some people were raised to believe that it’s wrong to live together and not be married. Others married the love of their life the first time around, and they feel like getting married again will taint their memory.

There’s no easy answer to the remarriage question, but it’s one that you should answer before you begin dating. If getting married again is something that you truly desire, then you don’t want to date someone who doesn’t see remarriage as an option. Let’s take a closer look at the reasons why people are for and against remarriage.

Independence

Dating someone without living with them gives you the most freedom. When you choose to live with someone else, you give up part of your independence. You can’t do everything you want to do when you want to do it, because you have someone else’s feelings to consider. You also have to agree on finances, or at least how you are going to split the bills. However, you are still your own person. You still own all of your belongings and assets, and if you choose to part ways, it isn’t that complicated to do so.

When you marry someone else, you agree to share your life together. You are no longer an independent individual, you are a part of a couple. You become one. Decisions must be made as a couple instead of as an individual. Some people love this type of commitment. It makes them happy to have someone to share their life with in this way, and it’s well worth everything they give up. However, this isn’t true for everyone, especially if they’ve been single for many years and are used to doing things their own way.

There’s no right or wrong answer here. You have to decide how much independence you desire and how much of your life you would like to share with someone else.

Legal Matters

Issues like Social Security and inheritance are also affected by remarriage. Some couples are better off financially dating or living together than getting remarried, because remarrying affects your eligibility for certain Social Security and other benefits. If you get remarried and you pass away, then all assets will pass on to your new spouse.

These issues shouldn’t be the deciding factor in whether or not you choose to remarry, but you should consider them and be aware of the impact remarriage has on these issues. If you choose not to marry, you have legal issues to consider as well. If you are living together, you need to be sure that the other party is taken care of if one of you pass on. If you want your lover to be your decision maker if you are incapacitated, then you will need to draw up legal documentation of this desire.

Children

If you have children, you will also need to consider how they will feel if you get remarried. If your spouse passed away or you went through a difficult divorce, your children may feel betrayed if you get remarried, even if they are adults themselves. Once again, this isn’t something that should stop you from remarrying if you desire to do so, but something to be aware of and talk to your family about. In some cases, your children may be happy to see you remarry. They may like the idea of someone making that type of commitment to you, and want.

Fear of Loss

If you had a wonderful long marriage and then lost your spouse to death or divorce, you may not want to leave yourself open to that kind of loss again. You may find that you don’t want to fall in love again. You may also find that you want love and a relationship, but you just can’t say forever with the knowledge that all relationships end eventually. Losing a spouse is such a painful experience that not everyone chooses to take the chance on going through it more than once.

Betrayal of Memory

You may also feel that you are betraying your former spouse’s memory if you remarry. You may find yourself comfortable falling in love again and even living with your new love, but not able to put them on the same level as your former spouse by marrying them. If you have these feelings, then you should be honest with anyone that you intend to date.

When A Spouse Has Alzheimer’s

What do you do when your spouse has Alzheimer’s or a similar condition? When they no longer recognize you, are you still obligated to honor your marriage vows? Should you date someone with a spouse in this condition? This is a very sensitive subject. If you are the caretaker of your spouse, it can be the loneliest time of your life. Is it appropriate for you to find companionship with someone else?

There is no right or wrong answer here. It is possible to care for your spouse, but not be in love with them anymore. You may feel the need for companionship, and how far you take that companionship depends on what you and the person you are dating feel comfortable with.

The biggest red flag in this situation would be abandoning your spouse. You should do everything you can to support them, but that doesn’t mean that you have to stop living your life.

Online Dating

The World Wide Web has created the wide world of online dating. There are lots of mature dating sites, but which ones are the best? Where should you go to look for love online?

AARP

AARP is well known for things like senior discounts and Medicare. However, they are also getting into the dating business. According to the Vice President of Digital Strategies and Operations, the organization got into the dating business because “we know isolation is a very big issue for our members as they age”. AARP has a panacea of dating advice. They are also partnering with the site Howaboutwe. This site appeals to older singles because the focus is on offline dating.

With most online dating sites, you spend hours on the site before you meet anyone in person. The fact is that sometimes the attraction you feel online doesn’t translate to real life.

Relationships that look great on paper don’t always feel that way in the real world. Howaboutwe allows you to connect based on your first date ideas.

Joining the site is simple, and asks you to answer the traditional online dating questions. Then you post a picture and at least one first date idea. You can also look at the date ideas posted by others. When you’ve completed the basic questions, you can also answer additional questions. “What is your perfect Sunday?” and “What would you do if you won the lottery?” are a few fun optional questions.

Howaboutwe allows you to search by types of dates, keyword, newest, and nearby. It’s appealing because the emphasis is meeting people online to date offline. You’ll need a paid membership to contact other members, but if you don’t go on real dates you can get a full refund.

OurTime

OurTime is a dating site designed specifically for singles over fifty. The site is easy to use and registration is relatively simple. One notable feature is the ability to include relationship preferences in your searches. You can choose everything from pen pals to looking for marriage. This allows you to find people for companionship as well as dating.

When you are completing your profile, some questions are multiple choice, while others are essay style. This allows you to convey who you are on your profile. You also have the ability to upload a video greeting to your profile. It’s hard to tell who someone is from words on a page, because you can’t perceive things like tone of voice and facial expressions. Video greetings allow others to get a better impression of who you are, and you can view others video greetings as well.

Advanced searches allow you to search based on zodiac sign, relationship type, marital status, and religion, in addition to the basic search features like age, sex, and location. The profiles on the site are almost all genuine, which helps keep you safe from scammers.  You can sign up and search for free, but you will need a paid membership to communicate with other members. There are apps available for Apple and Android, so you can also look for love on the go.

Professional Match

Professional Match isn’t exclusively for the over fifty crowd, but it has an option that other online dating services don’t. Instead of filling out seemingly endless questionnaires, you fill out a simple profile and include your contact information. Then a personal matchmaker will get in touch with you and ask you questions to find out about your ideal match. The information you give the matchmaker doesn’t go onto your profile, but your matchmaker will use it to suggest matches for you.

This site relies on Professional matchmakers instead of computers, which is appealing to older singles who may not be as technically savvy as their younger counterparts. The singles on the site are generally well educated, successful, and looking for a serious relationship. This can be a great way to find that special someone.

Should You Date Older or Younger?

This is called age gap dating, and it’s becoming more and more popular. You see more couples with an age gap (ten years or more) than ever before. Here are some of the reasons behind the trend, and how to know if it’s something you should consider.

Older Women/Younger Men

Interestingly, nearly one third of women between the ages of 40-69 are dating a man at least 10 years their junior. Why do women enjoy younger men? The first thing that comes to mind may be better sexual performance, but that’s basically a moot point since the invention of Viagra.

Older women enjoy the spontaneity and sense of adventure that dating a younger man gives them. Younger Men in return enjoy the life experience and sophistication of older women.

Today mature women look better than they ever have before, and they are also living longer. They may have already had the white picket fence and 2.5 kids and be looking for something more fun. Older women are generally emotionally and financially independent, sexually knowledgeable and open, and good conversationalists. All of these are qualities that younger men find enjoyable.

An interview of more than 200 such couples revealed some interesting facts. No man left the woman for a younger woman just because she was younger, although some relationships ended because the man wanted children.

The myth is that the woman is the seducer in these relationships, but in all 200 cases interviewed, the man initiated the relationship. The other common myth is that these relationships don’t last. However, the average span for those interviewed was 13 years, with some lasting over 25 years.

Older Man/Younger Woman

Older men dating younger women are the oldest and most well-known form of age gap dating. Once again, it’s assumed that sex is the main reason for the age gap, but that’s just a small part of the appeal.

Part of it is that there are more single women in their younger years, so some men choose to date younger women partly because there are more of them. Younger women tend to be more adventurous and carefree than their older counterparts, and they aren’t in any rush to settle down. Younger women are still trying to figure out who they are and what they want in life, so they can be easier to please than an older woman who knows exactly what she wants. They are more concerned about the moment than the future.

They haven’t had the years of dating and relationship experience, or even life experience, that their more mature counterparts do. This means that they don’t have as much emotional baggage and scars. They are also less likely to compare you to other people that they’ve dated, and they are easier to impress because they haven’t had as many life experiences.

Is it For You?

Should you date someone older or younger? Really it depends on what you are looking for in a partner. If you are looking for someone mature and stable that knows what they want, dating someone older may be a good option. If you would like someone who is easier to impress and more likely to follow your lead, you may enjoy dating someone younger. You should also consider your lifestyle, and find someone with a similar activity level and interests.

At the end of the day, finding someone that you can build a relationship with is much more about finding someone on the same wavelength than a numerical age. Someone who enjoys doing some of the same things that you do, enjoys a similar lifestyle, and a similar activity level. You should also consider whether you would like to get married, have children, and whether you are sexually compatible.

Age Gap Dating Online

If you are interested in age gap dating online, there are sites specifically devoted to helping you find the person of your dreams. The great thing about these sites is everyone there is seeking the same thing, so you don’t have to worry about age being an issue.

AgeMatch

Age Match is one of the first and most respected websites dedicated to age gap dating. You can create a profile for free. You can upload up to 26 pictures, narrow location searches down to your city, make a favorites list, and send as many winks as you like. If you see someone that you are interested in, then you can opt for the paid membership.

It allows you to view your matches, send emails, and conduct advanced searches. You can also comment on a member’s profile and participate in forums and blogs. Age Match is a fairly basic dating site, but this makes it easy to use. It’s one of the best sites if you are interested in dating someone significantly older or younger than you.

Senior Sex

Having sex after fifty is certainly different than it was at twenty, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Here’s some of the most common senior sex issues, from when to have sex with a new partner to how to keep things in good working order.

Should You Wait?

Older couples are much more likely to wait to have sex than their younger counterparts. Generally, it’s a good idea to wait as long as you can to have sex. Having sex early on in the relationship can cause you to not be able to view the relationship objectively. Older couples also put more value on being close emotionally, and waiting allows you to build an emotional relationship before building a sexual one. However, some people meet and they just know this is the person that they want to be with. In this situation, having sex sooner may feel right.

Fulfilling Sex

The common myth is that the sex goes downhill as you age. However, the opposite is true in many cases. One study found that 74% of men and 70% of women have better sex in their 60s than they did in their forties. One of the main differences is that the overall health of the relationship has more of an impact as we age. If the relationship is healthy and happy, the sex can be incredible.

Does Desire Decline With Age?

Our bodies change as we age, and this can cause some sexual issues. One problem is older women in particular stop feeling desirable when they hit a certain age. However, when a man loves a woman he finds her attractive no matter her age. What can be a turn off to a man is a woman who doesn’t want to have sex because she doesn’t feel attractive.

Hormonal challenges can also play a part for women and men. For women, lubricants or vaginal estrogen is usually all that is needed to keep their sex life fulfilling. Men can have low testosterone which causes their sex drive to decline. If this is causing problems, there are medications you can take.

Prostate problems and medication side effects can make it difficult for a man to get an erection, but these issues can be helped with Viagra or similar medications. There is no reason to let these issues put a halt to your sex life. In fact, there are good reasons to keep having sex as you age.

Sex For Your Health

Having sex helps you get a better night’s sleep. Sex releases Oxytocin, also called the love hormone. This lowers your stress levels and helps you feel happy and content, which contributes to better sleep. It also keeps you looking young. Studies have shown that couples who have sex three times a week look ten years younger. For men, ejaculating at least 21 days out of every month significantly reduced their risk of prostate cancer. Sex also makes you happy. People who have sex two or three times a week are 33% happier than those who haven’t had sex in the last year.

Sex Can Be Better After 50

Despite myths that you cease to be a sexual being after 50, there are many reasons why sex can be better after 50. For one thing, you have more time. Your younger years were likely very busy with work and children. After 50, you should have more free time, and this can lead to great sex. You may be an empty nester now. This means that you don’t have to worry about getting interrupted by your children. You can have sex in areas of the house that you wouldn’t have dreamed of in earlier years. You have more freedom to do what you want to do.

There are no more worries about pregnancy, and you are no longer dealing with menstruation. This can be a very freeing time for women. You may find yourself being able to enjoy sex more since you no longer have to worry about birth control. There’s also data that suggests women become less inhibited as they age, because they know who they are and are comfortable with themselves. This leads to better sex as well.

Men and women are generally more financially stable than in years past. The combination of more free time and disposable income opens the door for romantic dinners and even vacations that were once out of reach. Romance is a big factor in having enjoyable sex, especially as you age.

How to Rev Up Your Sex Life

Sex does change as you age. These changes aren’t necessarily a bad thing, however. One way to keep your sex life charged is to slow things down. Clear your schedule for the evening. Start slow and make it last as long as possible. Focus on making love instead of having sex. You should also let your partner know what you are enjoying and what you aren’t. Speak up and let them know what you want.  You may find it helpful to set the mood in your home as well. Light candles and put on romantic music. Set the scene for a romantic and passionate night.

Talk dirty to each other. This keeps sex on your mind, and lets you express your fantasies as well. You can also read erotica or watch porn if you are comfortable with it. You can also get involved in activities that will stimulate your attraction. Take dancing lessons or even a strip tease class. Go on romantic dates and getaways. You should also be sure you get enough sleep and have your vitamin levels checked periodically.

Finding love after fifty is certainly different than it is at twenty, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t worthwhile. With more free time and disposable income, now you have more time and resources to enjoy your life. Sharing this with someone else can be incredibly fulfilling.