The days where you spend the day at the library or the grocery store hoping to run into an attractive woman are long gone. These days it’s so easy to find women to chat with, it can get overwhelming. First you have to figure out what site to use to meet women. Then you have to have an actual conversation. The good news is it’s not really that hard, especially with all the info and tips you’ll find in this guide.

What Are You Looking For?

Before you begin, you should know what you are looking for. Do you want to meet a potential life partner or someone to have no strings attached sex with? Do you want someone you can meet in real life or an online fling? The answer to these questions will help guide you in choosing where to chat with girls online.

Facebook

If you are looking for a real life relationship of any kind, Facebook is a good place to start. Look at your friend’s friends. See anything you like? If you do, you have a reason to reach out to them without sounding like you are trying to hit on them. First, send them a friend request. Include a message if you like. Something along the lines of “I saw your comment on my friends post” or “I saw that we have a mutual friend” is a great way to introduce yourself.

If they don’t accept your friend request, don’t take it personally. Just assume they weren’t interested in communicating with you and move on. If they do accept your friend request, then you can send them a message. The great thing about using Facebook to chat with girls is that you should have some sort of shared interest. If you have a mutual friend, start there. Perhaps you went to the same school, or you live in the same area. It’s also a good idea to do a little research on their profile. This should give you some subjects that you know they would be interested in talking about.

Most advice articles on talking to a girl say to take things slowly. You don’t want to come on so strong that you scare them off or appear desperate. However, moving too slow is a good way to get friend zoned. Assuming that you want to be more than friends, strike a balance that lets them know you are interested without being pushy.

Tinder

Tinder is a great way to chat with girls. Tinder is especially popular with the younger crowd. If you are over 30, you may have a harder time finding a match. That’s not to say that it can’t be done, however. Tinder is very fast paced and easy to use. It seems to match up well with those who have a younger personality, which is far different than your numerical age.

Tinder operates by showing you pictures of other users. You swipe left or right, depending on whether or not you are interested. If you are mutually interested, you have a match. Simply by looking at a picture. This may sound incredibly superficial, but according to some scientists, it’s not what it appears to be. Before the advent of online dating people would usually meet out in the real world. When you see someone you find interesting in a bar, you don’t ask them to fill out a profile first. You make a decision about whether or not you are initially interested based on looks.

This judgement isn’t all about the level of attractiveness, however. Someone’s appearance gives you important clues about their social status, personality,  and maturity level just to name a few. If you see a picture of a girl hiking through the woods, this tells you a number of things. She is outdoorsy and adventurous. If you share these interests, you will most likely be interested.

So what do you do when you actually get a match? First, it’s a good idea to move fast. You also want to stand out. When you message a girl, the first message you send will either peak her interest in chatting with you or cause her to lose interest. The fact is women tend to get bombarded with messages, so if you want to get her attention, you need to stand out.

Humor is one way to do this. You can try a cheesy pick up line. If you use this approach, make it apparent that you are saying it tongue in cheek. Use an emoticon for wink or lol so they know that you don’t seriously think “Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven” sounds cool. Don’t play it to safe, but don’t treat her like she’s a sex object either. Use her name. No sexy, baby, honey. At least not until you’ve exchanged a few messages. You can also try the casual considerate approach. Something along the lines of “Hey. How are you doing?” is a good opening, but you run the risk of being lost in the shuffle.

Your opening message should also match your intentions. If you would like to meet someone to start a relationship with, a considerate approach is more likely to attract the type of girl you are looking for. If you’re looking for a one night stand, “Hey can I buy a drink” may be the approach for you.

Being an Interesting Conversationalist

Many men make the mistake of boring the women they are trying to woo or turning them off altogether. Here are some tips to help you in any conversation with women.

First you need to understand that women are practical. They are busy and don’t want to waste their time. So when you begin talking to a woman, you want them to know what the point of the conversation is. If you leave them wondering what the point of the conversation is, they will lose interest very quickly.

How do you keep them interested? Educate yourself on different topics that interest you. Expand your horizons beyond your comfort zone. The more interests you have, the better the chance you can strike up a conversation with a woman. Focus on getting to know them better. Contribute to the conversation, but keep the focus on them. Most men don’t take the time to get to know a woman, and when you do you will stand out from the crowd.

The other mistake men make is not treating a woman with respect. All women want to be treated like a lady, even if you are just hooking up for the night. Treat her like a lady instead of just a good time.