First impression last, and when it comes to women it will tell if she will look at you as a mere acquaintance, a friend or a prospective lover. That is why your first interaction or first conversation is very crucial. You may never have a second chance to get her attention and interest. Keep in mind that the competition is high when it comes to dating and attracting quality women.
It’s very easy to tell yourself to “just walk up to her and talk to her”. This always works in the movies and in romantic novels. But in real world this is really hard to do. And it becomes even more complicated if you really like the girl and you have feelings for her.
The mere idea of talking to her gives us sweaty palms. When she’s around we get really nervous, and we start to have butterflies in the stomach. Because of this we become unsure, and shy. We are also afraid that we may ruin the whole thing because we might do or say something stupid.
But then again nothing will happen if you keep your feelings to yourself. If you really like her then you got talk to her and get to know each other. That is the only thing that can solve the problem. Compose yourself, have some self-confidence and approach her. We have a way to help you. In this article we will be talking about what to talk to a girl and how to talk to a girl you really like.
What to Say to a Girl
Okay so you have the girl you really like in front of you. It might feel like a dreading experience specially if you are a shy type of man. Approach is always awkward and it always involves a lot of uncertainty. If you have someone to introduce you to the girl you like then it’s a bit easy. If not then approach her yourself. Make an eye contact and smile. If she smiles back at you then it’s a good sign that she is interested, but don’t put too much weight on it.
What is important here is to know what to talk about with a girl you like if it’s the first time that you have met. Here are some helpful tips that can guide you along the way.
Talk about the place or whatever is happening around you.
This is my favorite technique when talking to a girl for the first time. It’s like handling a small chit-chat about the weather with a random stranger. Take advantage of the place or whatever is happening around you. For example if you meet the girl inside a bookstore, pick two different books and ask what she thinks is best. Do it casually, and inspect or focus first your attention on the books before you glance at her and blankly wait for her response. Take her advice and thank her afterwards. You can continue your conversation from here on.
Ask general personal questions.
The idea is to ask general and usual questions about her. For example you could ask something about what she does in life. What type or field of work she do? Is she studying, what school and course that might be? Make it general and don’t sound like you are an FBI agent interrogating a murder suspect.
Say something about you.
If it’s the first time that you talk to a girl you should make the conversation two-sided. Ask her questions and she will probably ask the same thing to you. If you feel that she’s not that interested you can keep the conversation going by sharing something about you. This is the best way to make a connection which we will try explain next.
Establish a connection.
Making a connection with the girl you want on your first conversation will lead to great new things. She will feel comfortable talking to you because it will create a sense of familiarity. So try to find things that you have in common. Remember our first example while on the bookstore? You can ask why she suggests a certain title or author. Talk to her about that certain book or author. Use books as your common ground. You may also try to establish connection when she shared something about herself like her line of work, where she work or study. Maybe you know something about it. Share that interest with her.
Girls are suckers for compliments. But at this stage you should make your compliments sincere, friendly and wholesome. Don’t make any ‘perverted or dirty’ compliments. She might like it but it’s not the right time yet. It’s time to make some friendly atmosphere here.
The best compliment you can make is to thank her for being there. Going back to our first example about meeting her at the bookstore, thank her for the suggestion and how it saved you from a lot of trouble being undecided shopper.
You can also use a compliment to approach a girl you like. For example you could say something like, “You really look amazing and I can’t help myself saying hi, so Hi, my name is Adam!” and you are?” Just smile and appear friendly, but don’t go too strong on her.
How to Talk to a Girl
Now you know what things to talk about when conversing with a girl for the first time. Here are some useful tips in order for you to successfully handle a good conversation while talking to a girl you like.
Be friendly and have a cheerful attitude.
Girls love to be with someone who could make them smile. So it’s always good to wear that cheerful attitude. It means having the ability to be goofy and funny. If you can make a girl smile, laugh and giggle then you are doing it right. But don’t look foolish doing this. Just be yourself, try to be friendly, not bitter.
Avoid using pick up lines.
Using pick up lines is very risky. If you use one she will notice it and she will know that you are picking her up. It will make her feel uncomfortable and almost automatically she will put up barriers between you and her. Instead of using pick up lines you can ask or talk something about what is happening around you. The idea is to ask vague and general questions or comments to get her attention. Just like our example line while you were at the bookstore.
Don’t overdo the compliments.
One or two compliments are good but don’t overdo it. Again be sure that you are giving genuine compliments. And do it in between lines or while enjoying a funny conversation with her. Whatever you do don’t compliment her about her shoes, and below the belt things. Keep it wholesome for a while.
Don’t come on too strong.
Stare into her eyes once but don’t do it again on the same setting. Once you made that eye contact that is enough, doing it again on the first conversation will seem weird and creepy. Show how she mesmerized you, lock eyes with her and smile. This should tell her that you are really interested on her. Don’t stare on her parts below the neckline.
Make her feel comfortable.
This is very important because if she is not comfortable she will not talk to you. Do this by talking to her on places where she can leave whenever she want. Make her feel at ease and without pressure. Don’t talk to her in places where she might feel like she’s cornered or powerless.
Close and exit.
You can’t be talking forever. She has business to attend to and so do you. So expect that it will be a short-lived conversation. If you are in a bookstore, perhaps you can ask her to go out for some coffee? Or ask her to exchange some old books? It’s a best way to get her number. The idea is it to come up with a way so you will meet again. If she works on the bookstore or she’s a regular, you can visit the store everyday and see her every day until you have the right time to ask her for a date