I call fake it till you make it: bad douche advice to nerds that don’t need it
Calling all nerds and geeks!!! YOUR HOLDING THE THREE QUEENS. Anybody that tells you otherwise is trying to drag you down to their level. Secretly I think you know it but are perhaps lacking the confidence to display your skills to an appropriate suitor.
If your not willing to compromise your health and would stick to orange juice over beer or vodka = WIN in the long term
If your getting a degree now and following your dream of becoming (X) = WIN in the long term
If you feel more confident displaying your true self with close friends it’s totally fine, just work on broadening that group of like minded people.
You hear alot of dating gurus suggest that you should fake it till you make it.
I say this kind of advice can really hurt who you become, it damages you in the short and long term, let me explain.
If theres is one thing that annoys me more than anything it’s people who are fake. Sooner or later your going to realise that the real beauty and attractive power comes from authenticity. From being your true self comes real confidence.
Dating coaches don’t want you to believe this, they are spouting all sorts of bullshit about becoming someone so much better than yourself by faking your real self. There is a natural way that is SO much easier. You don’t have to go through all of this pain and self doubt the arises from forcing your personality through someone else’s mould. Confidence is gained by setting goals yourself that you truly believe in and achieving them.
Finding your bliss and carving out a niche for yourself is the best way to get laid, get paid, become popular and get a great body… you want to add anything else to that list? When a man finds his calling/purpose etc there really is nothing that can stop him.
Women will flock to you when you become the leader… become the leader where you are the most powerful. Fight the battle on your terms and where you decide. If you really want to become a great fake pick up artist inside the murky depths of the druken nigh-life scene go forth and be great at it… but it’s just not for everyone.
Believe it or not there are millions of girls that DONT get drunk and pary at night. If you love chess, backgammon, magic the gathering, LOL, SC2, WOW, lawn tennis, computers for christs sake keep doing it and enjoy the time you have with friends. Just make sure you do more of the things you love. Make sure you invite everyone along to blizzcon or comic con and many more of these conventions. I know it’s slim pickings amongst these niche areas of classically male dominated arenas but women will be attracted to someone who has skills in his chosen field. They key is that it does not matter what field that happens to be in.
I’m by no means suggesting that you should not become a better person… you should be working on flaws on a daily basis! But it should be a natural process motivated by the willingness to live life to the fullest. Learning lines and dressing yourself up like a peacock in the hope that you will get more attention turns you into one giant douchbag.
If you so happen to be a little awkward in social situations going to clubs by yourself is the equivalent of throwing yourself in the deep end. You dont have to almost drown and create phobias in the process of finding amazing women. If bars aint your thing there is just no need to be their in the first place.
Libraries , Universities, Gyms, clubs and interest groups, family friends, social sports teams, outdoor wilderness experiences, beaches, travel experiences, online social groups, local food events… The key is actually getting out their and trying a few of these while being your authentic self. You will find that the women of your dreams will be present when your not even on the lookout. It will be when your laughing and making jokes with friends… BEING YOU!
P.S. If you really are incapable of talking to women/approaching them then you may want to look further into the finer details of pickup… BUT most fears can be resolved with the ideology presented above. Fight this battle on your own terms, choose when you engage and how. It is possible that you set yourself up for failure by placing yourself in situations that you feel very uncomfortable. Follow your dreams and display your real strengths (80/20 rule applies here) in locations that are likely to have women that match your personality. It’s hard to lose with that formula. Rinse and repeat until you find “the one”…
P.P.S : “the one” may be any girl who happens to be naked in your bed, OR actually a life partner/soulmate best GF for life *_*