In a not so recent article by science daily (2008 -source) the emotions of over one thousand men and women who had recently been involved in causal sex were interviewed.
The conclusion was that women are not as well adapted to brief sexual experiences as men are.
This is likely to be as a result of an evolutionary response to survival of offspring. As women have usually been the primary caregivers and relied on men for protection and food they become vulnerable when their mate was not present.
The article suggests that men benefit from multiple short term partners while women benefit from few high quality sexual partners that stick around long term.
Women are more interested in having casual sex IF there is a chance of a long term relationship. “high genetic quality” partners are of more interest than a high volume of medium quality partners.
Bearing the full force of parental care is heavy burden and somehow women realise this and take measures to ensure men stick around for the long haul. This makes casual sex far less appealing for women despite it’s obvious enjoyable and exiting aspects.
Professor Campbell was able to asses the feelings of women and mean after one nights stands and found that or though more women are interested in the idea of casual sex the majority still feel a sense of loss (a “negative” experience)
(54%) of the female contingent rated the experience positive
(80%) of the male contingent rated the experience positive
So even though there is a 30% difference here we can look at the bright side.. More then HALF of the women had a positive experience with casual sex…
You should be aware that numbers and statistics can be bent to mean nearly anything so these numbers should not be taken to seriously. There are so many factors that can alter studies, the result of a more rigorous study would be interesting.
Perhaps the 46% of women that said the experience was negative were not treated right by their male partners. Perhaps it is men that don’t yet understand the needs of women. If ALL of the men acted in a respectful and loving manner for the night you would see that figure rising.
For example lets say Daryll took Gill out on a date… the date went ok, the communication and connection could have been better… Gill felt like Daryll was only hanging around for the inevitable encounter later on and what’s worse the next morning left at 5am he left to get to work… Gill thought that it would be nice to say goodbye or have a final hug to thank her for the night.
In this case it’s not that Gill thinks that one night stands are wrong (she was happy to be apart of one right?)
It’s not that Gill will felt bad about all one night stands
It’s that Gill did not feel loved DURING the one night stand that it potentially lasts the entirety of the couples presence.
Gill may not have felt safe and loved during the night – she may have felt used.
Daryll enjoyed the night and thought that Gill did too.
A discussion into the social dynamics of one night stands needs to be held to get both sides of the story and the needs of both man and women need to be met for a positive experience to result.