Sadly the guys that really need to hear this wont because they either wont be subscribed or wont search for dating manners… Even so it needs to be said – even the nice guys out there might learn a thing or two about how to interact with women online.
First Things First
- MOST women are up for casual sex given that the scenario and situations are right…
- A women’s libido/sex drive is much higher than you think
- If she really is sexually interested in you she will hint or turn the conversation slightly sexual which is your cue to follow.
- MANNERS get you a long way!
- 99% of guys screw it up with the first line: hey sugar tits… want to suck my Is NOT what you should be emailing a women!
- Women get a LOT of attention and emails online so don’t be surprised if they don’t email you back…
If a women doesn’t respond to you it’s because of ONE of TWO reasons
- she didn’t read your email or it got lost among the clutter
- you were rude or overly sexual
You can’t help #1, it happens and it comes down to the number of males online. Use open ended polite subject lines in your emails or try different variations but on the whole just be yourself and be persistent. Rather than assuming that she read your well written polite email and laughed, assume that she never got the chance to read it because her INBOX was full of sexually explicit rude emails from other guys.Assume that she would want to reply to you if she had the chance… Be persistent until she let’s you know otherwise and then let it go and move on.
You can control what you write! One of the biggest mistakes guys make on casual dating websites is assuming blatant sexual content within introduction emails is ok. In most cases… IT”S NOT!
Even if her profile is the filthiest profile you have ever read… DONT open up the interaction with a request for sex. There are many many psychological reasons why this is unattractive to women. The obvious being that you are in NEED of something from her as a first impression.
Let’s be honest – she’s on a casual sexually open dating site. The need/want of sex is assumed and does not need to be played up by you. What you should do is do the opposite and NOT talk about sex at all in the beginning unless she prompts you or talks about it herself.
You actually create tension by putting her in two minds about your intentions… rather than her thinking this is just another guys looking to get in my pants she might be thinking “why isn’t he interested in me sexually?”
So the simple line “hey how are you?” would be better than anything else that has strong sexual overtones?
A women (even on a sexual dating site) needs that initial NON SEXUAL interaction for trust reasons. She is protecting her own image, she lowers her value if she comes across slutty. Don’t put her in the situation where she feels like she has to be just to reply to your misinformed introduction!
This is not to say that she doesn’t want to talk dirty with you at some stage – women love a well phrased email or instant message session to turn them on. So long as it’s with a guy that she feels she can trust. A guy that’s not going to abandon her straight after sex or laugh at her body. They are looking for a mature, articulate guy that is aware of how a natural conversation is supposed to flow.
So rather than complicating matters with overtly sexual and seedy remarks – keep it clean! At least for the initial stages of the online chat relationship.
Rather than allowing your dick to do the talking… silence it for two seconds while you come up with an appropriately phrased introduction that wont scare her away. I know your busting at the seems over there mate but this is important.
Those first 20 or so characters and the first line in your opening email will make or break it.
I’m not trying to put women on a pedestal here – but they are valuable real estate when it comes to casual sexual dating online because of their lack of numbers.
To better understand the women you are trying to contact let’s try and understand her situation. It’s called empathy.
Her time is valuable and there are 20 other emails in her inbox… She knows that most of them are from illiterate idiots… she hopes that one of these days she will get contacted by a guy that wants a little more than just sex.
Think about it – if all you want is that physical orgasmic release… then why not just use masturbation? It does the same thing right? If all a women wanted was the physical expression of sex then she would accept any guy on the street. But it’s not like that is it? You can’t get by with just your hand but your not quite sure what it is that the physical closeness of sex provides, you just know you need it.
Well for women this is accentuated and is a much more important concept than guys realize… You want this emotional and somewhat spiritual connection. But you also want it with no strings attached… This can happen so long as you meet a women that understands this and want’s the same thing.
So I urge you to use manners when setting up casual sexual encounters. And understand that women want the same thing we want! They just require you to be a little smarter about how you go about it.