Tinder – Your Burning Questions Answered
Tinder has reached pop culture status, and ignited many burning questions. How to use Tinder, Are super likes creepy, and how to get more Tinder matches are just a few questions that you can find the answers to here. Keep reading to get answers to all of your burning Tinder questions.
What is Tinder?
Tinder is at its heart a dating app without all of the strings most dating sites have attached. It’s free, and you don’t have to spend an hour creating the perfect profile. You download the app to your phone, connect it to your Facebook, add a few photos or choose some from Facebook, write a brief introduction, and off to Tinderland you go. Tinder allows you to swipe through photos. With a flick of your finger you decide whether or not you like someone, i.e. if they are attractive enough for you to date.
How Tinder Works
Once you’ve created your profile, it’s time to start swiping. When you are interested in someone, you’ll swipe right. If you aren’t interested, you swipe left. Don’t get too swipe happy, because once you swipe left, that person is gone forever. You’ll never see them again. When the person that you like likes you as well, it will tell you that you have a match. You can then start chatting. Part of the charm of Tinder is the sheer simplicity of it. The other part is not having to sort through messages that you will never respond to because you have no interest in the person. Tinder is mostly about the photos, but you pick up a little information about the person as well. In addition to a photo, you’ll see their bio and how far away they are. While some may say it’s superficial, we are no less superficial in real life. Ever heard the saying that a girl decides whether she would sleep with a man within seconds of meeting them? What can you learn about someone in seconds? That they have a killer smile, or that they can take a killer selfie.
All About the Profile
Why Tinder Needs Your Facebook
Tinder needs your Facebook profile like Blake Shelton needs Gwen Stefani, but why? The first reason is that it cuts down on the number of fake profiles. Sure you can make a fake profile on Facebook and Tinder, but the amount of work involved at least cuts down on the number of fake profiles. It also makes signing up for Tinder easier, because Tinder uses your Facebook status, photos, and likes to create your profile and give you matches. On the other hand, it means that a random Facebook status can be responsible for you finding the love of your life. Tinder will choose Facebook photos by default, but you can change which photos you use in your settings.
Creating a Tinder Profile
Creating a Tinder profile is pretty simple and self explanatory, but creating a good Tinder profile is another matter. There’s two main components of your Tinder profile. Your bio and your photos. Getting these right will ensure your Tinder success. Getting them wrong will result in lots of left swipes.
By default Tinder will use your most recent Facebook photos, but you can choose which photos you would like to use. It’s a good idea to use all of the six slots Tinder allows for photos. The more of you people see, the more they’ll be convinced you are a genuine person. Your photos can also show different sides and qualities that you would like potential matches to know about.
Your profile photo should be a clear picture of your face. No blurry photos and no group photos. Choose a clear headshot, and make sure it’s not a bathroom selfie. Nothing says love like a roll of toilet paper. Actually, avoid selfies completely. Get someone you trust to snap some attractive photos of you. If you have professional photos or headshots, use one of these. Professionals are paid to make their subjects look their best. You’ll also want to smile. Try to aim for a natural looking friendly smile.
Don’t hide behind hats, sunglasses, hair, or photoshop. A flattering filter or a little photoshop editing can be helpful, but don’t go overboard. You don’t want any of your photos to look like they’ve been photoshopped. Ladies, the windswept hair look can be cute, but you don’t want half of your face to be covered by your hair. Sunglasses make it feel like you have something to hide as well. Let everyone see those beautiful eyes. Hats are a no no in your profile picture, but they are ok in other photos.
Once you’ve chosen your profile photos, you can be a bit more creative with the others. A few action shots are always a good idea. If you love pets, one with your furry best friend is heart warming. Pictures that show you genuinely happy or having a good time are the best ones to use. Just be sure to have one or two that show your full body, and at least one more that gives a good look at your face.
You can only upload photos from your Facebook. If you would like to use photos that aren’t on your Facebook, you’ll have to upload them to Facebook and then to your Tinder. If you don’t want your Facebook friends to see the photos, set the privacy setting to only me.
The bio section is particularly important for guys. When guys are swiping, they are more likely to swipe right based on looks than a funny quote. Ladies, however, will place emphasis on looks and personality. That means guys need a great bio. A favorite quote, your hometown, a few hobbies, and what you are looking for are good things to include in your bio. You’ll need to keep it short and sweet. Leave some mystery, but give potential matches an idea of who you are. If you are funny, your bio should be funny. If you are serious or scholarly, your bio should convey that.
Don’t put anything negative in your bio. “Stuck up girls who spend an hour in the bathroom swipe left” will not get you anywhere. Neither will “No cheaters or haters allowed”. Keep it positive. Talk about you, and maybe a sentence or two about what you are looking for. The purpose of the bio is so others get to know you.
Fake profiles are a fact of life on any dating app, but how do can you spot fake profiles? After all no one wants to waste time flirting with a bot or a scam artist. The first rule of thumb is that if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. If you see an incredibly beautiful woman whose only bio is “looking for a booty call” or something similar, keep your guard up.
Bots won’t send the first message, but if their response to your message doesn’t make sense, this is another red flag. They may also have glitches that cause them to repeat their response. Not having any common connections or interests can also be an indication it’s a fake profile, because scammers don’t flesh out their Facebook accounts.Generally speaking, if some girl seems incredibly horny for you, a complete stranger, she’s probably not real. These scams will direct you to a camgirl site that requires your credit card information. They will probably claim that it’s just to verify your age, and you won’t know any different until you see your credit card statement.
How Swipes Work
When you find someone attractive, you’ll swipe right. If you aren’t interested, you swipe left. That’s how swipes work on their most basic level. However, if you swipe left too much Tinder may decide that you are too picky and won’t show your profile as much. If you swipe right too much, Tinder will label you a swipe slut or a bot and impose a like limit for 24 hours. Unless you pay extra for Tinder Plus.
Tinder swipes are anonymous, so no one’s feelings will get hurt if you swipe left. If you swipe right on someone and then decide that they aren’t for you, you can block them. Left swipes, however, are forever, unless you purchase Tinder Plus.
Tinder has taken advantage of the freemium culture and added a few features that can enhance your use of their app for a price. Tinder Plus removes the swipe limit, allowing you to right swipe until your heart’s content. It also allows you to rewind that left swipe that you instantly regretted.
Tinder Plus is about more than just Tinder’s bottom line, however. It’s about giving Tinder users a better experience. Since Tinder has instituted swipe limits and Tinder Plus, Tinder is showing a 25% increase in the number of right swipes that result in a match. That means the parties are mutually interested, and that’s a good thing. Spam bots on Tinder have decreased by half, which is a very good thing for obvious reasons.
How Matches Work
You get matches on Tinder when you both like, or swipe right. When you match with someone, you can then begin a conversation. The real question is how does Tinder choose which people to show to you? While the exact method remains closely guarded, it is known that Tinder uses algorithms to choose which profiles to show you.
The first ten to fifteen profiles Tinder shows you will be very attractive. This is “the law of first impressions”. The first few people that you see when you open the app help you form an opinion about the attractiveness of users as a whole. Seeing a few very attractive people to begin with makes you believe that there are tons of attractive people on Tinder, just waiting for your right swipe. Tinder determines how attractive people are by the number of right swipes they have received.
After you’ve right swiped on some beautiful people, you’ll see people who have already swiped right on you. That gives you the potential for an instant match. Don’t worry, Tinder will throw in some people who haven’t matched with you as well, so it isn’t obvious what’s going on. Just remember, an instant match for you may be days old for them.
Tinder isn’t just showing you potential matches based on attractiveness. They also monitor who you match with and who you have meaningful conversations with. They look for similarities in the people that you connect with, and aim to show you other users with the same characteristics.
Common connections are friends of your Facebook friends. You will also see 2nd degree connections, which are essentially friends of friends friends. In addition to alerting you if you have a friend in common, it will let you know if you have any common interests. This can give you an idea of whether or not you would be compatible, and common interests are good conversation starters.
Why Don’t I Have Matches
If you are lacking in Tinder matches, there’s a good chance you are doing something wrong. Your profile or photos could be off putting. You could also simply be too picky. After all, liking more people increases your chances of getting a match. The other issue could be where you live. If you are in a place where there’s a small population, then you will have a harder time getting Tinder matches simply because there aren’t as many people available.
How to Get More Tinder Matches
Let’s recap the most important part of Tinder, your photos and bio. If your photos aren’t working, try changing them up. Be sure to include one clear and flattering headshot and a few action shots. Studies show that men are attracted to large lips and eyes, so it’s a good idea for ladies to accentuate these features. Women are attracted to masculine features, including beards.
Keep your bio clean, and let it reflect something about your personality. You should also steer clear of cliches. If you see it on lots of other profiles, don’t include it in yours. First, you’ll need to be active on Tinder. You don’t have to be a Tinder addict, but opening the app on a regular basis will keep you active. If you aren’t active for awhile, Tinder won’t show your profile much. This is because Tinder wants its users interacting with each other, and you have to be active to interact. There’s also a theory that if you are active and have quality conversations, you’ll be shown to more users.
Changing locations is another way to get more Tinder matches. When you go to a different location, Tinder will place your profile near the top of local user’s ques. You don’t have to travel across the country, but taking a trip to a nearby town could improve your matches.
You can also tweak your settings in the app. Maximize your matches by setting your distance range to 100 miles and widen your age range a bit. Liking things that are trending on Facebook can also help. Don’t lie, but try to keep your likes and interests as current as possible. This gives you more chances to connect with those with similar interests.
How Tinder’s Location Services Work
Tinder uses location services to match you with other users near you. This is good if you are looking to meet Tinder matches in real life, and it saves you the trouble of swiping through people who are too far away for you to meet. It can also tell you exactly how far away someone is. This can be a good thing if you are out on Friday night and would like to meet a Tinder match for drinks, but it can be dangerous as well.
While location services are essential for an app like Tinder to offer you realistic matches, it can be used to pinpoint your exact location. This has some people, including experts, concerned. According to Tinder, they have further encrypted location data so that it isn’t possible to determine user’s location. However, as technology and its users become more sophisticated, this problem may resurface eventually.
How Accurate Are Tinders Location Services
Just how accurate is Tinder’s location service, and how do they determine a user’s location? Tinder actually uses your phone’s location services, so it’s accuracy will depend on how accurate your phone’s location is. Generally speaking, today’s phones are accurate to within ¼ of a mile or better, so the distance that you see in the Tinder app should be correct. If you see something drastically off, however, it is probably an issue with the phone’s location services.
There are ways for you to change your location in Tinder as well, which would cause an inaccurate location to be displayed. People want to change their location for a few reasons. For those living in small towns, changing their location to a nearby city can result in many more matches, and married users may wish to use a location far enough away from their home that they don’t meet anyone they know on the app. If you are planning on going on a trip, you may wish to line up some Tinder matches ahead of time, so you’ll have something to…umm…do.
One way to change your location is to purchase Tinder Plus. If you’d like to save the $9.99 a month, or $19.99 a month if you are over 30, there are ways to change your location without spending money.
If you have an android device, you can set up a mock location by logging into your phone as a developer. You can find step by step instructions and pictures here. You can change your location on your PC or Mac using Bluestacks for free as well. You can find step by step instructions on changing your location via Bluestacks here. Keep in mind that while these methods will allow you to change your location, it may be worth the convenience and other features to simply purchase Tinder Plus.
Countries Where Tinder is Used
Tinder is now available in many countries and over 30 languages, but what are the countries with the biggest percentage of people on Tinder? Should you plan your next vacation around potential Tinder matches?
Tinder is extremely popular in all of North America, excluding a few South American countries. It’s also very popular in Australia, Italy, Ireland, The Netherlands, Germany, Spain, Finland, India, Denmark, Norway, and New Zealand. These countries are all popular tourist locations as well, so it may not be a bad idea to choose one of them for your next trip abroad. Using Tinder in this way is good for more than just hook ups, however.
Finding locals to meet can offer you much more than a one night stand. It can give you an authentic experience that is very different from feeling like a tourist. Locals know the best places to go, including the places that you won’t find on travel websites. You can meet up with people platonically, or have a steamy affair in another country with someone who knows their way around in more ways than one. It’s completely up to you. That’s part of the beauty of Tinder, especially when you can meet people before you ever leave home.
You don’t even have to meet up with anyone if you don’t want to. You can chat with matches, and ask them about the best places to go or what they do for fun. It can lead to an enjoyable conversation and some great travel tips at the very least.
To Superlike or Not to Superlike
When Tinder came out, it was only possible to show interest with a “like”, which requires swiping right on most devices. In 2015 Tinder decided to give users more options by unveiling the Superlike option. You can superlike someone by swiping up on their profile. They’ll be notified of your interest with a blue shooting star. Are Super Likes a good idea? Does super liking someone make you seem creepy, or is the object of your attention glad to know how much you like them?
In real life, playing a little hard to get is generally more attractive than letting someone know how into them you are immediately. However, Tinder is vastly different than real life. Many users on Tinder simply like everyone to see who likes them back. Others will like others when they are on the fence about how much they actually like them. These issues mean that likes don’t mean all that much. Can super likes actually help people get more dates in real life?
Studies have shown that users of online dating are less likely to commit because there are so many options. In these situations, declaring your interest can actually foster interest, even if the other person wasn’t that interested in you to begin with.
Difference Between the Sexes
The answer to whether or not to superlike may lie in whether you are pursuing a man or woman. Women are suspicious of men who like them too much, because they assume that they are simply after sex. In the event that this is what you are after, superlike may be a good option. A woman who is looking for a hookup will want a man who is interested and straight forward enough to not waste her time. If you are looking for something more serious, you may want to skip the superlike.
Men see women who are clearly interested and make the first move to be more feminine, contrary to what most people believe. They also find it more attractive, because it lets them know that they have a good chance upfront. Ladies, feel free to superlike that super hottie!
Regardless of your sex, you may want to experiment with the super like button. Part of your success with it will depend on other’s perception of you, so feel free to experiment with it and see if you do better with likes or super likes. If your pictures or bio already have a hint of something that could be seen as desperation, it’s probably best to avoid super likes. If you look like a perfectly normal confident human being, give it a shot.
Once you’ve matched with someone, you can start chatting. To send someone some a message, you’ll need to click the message icon on the Tinder menu. Tinder makes it easy to chat, but having a good conversation and getting someone to like you may prove more difficult.
When you send the first message, you’ll want to say something that your match is inclined to respond to. People are more inclined to respond to questions than statements. This means they are more likely to respond to “How are you” than “Hey”. Actually they are more likely to respond to anything than “Hey”, “Hi”, or “Hello. Try not to make your first message a snooze fest or something they’ve heard a thousand times.
How to Message Girls on Tinder
Of course the rules of Tinder messaging will work differently depending on whether you’re a man or woman. For guys, a good opening line is important. It will likely determine whether or not the woman ever messages you back. When you are composing your first message, there’s a few different ways you can go. You can be humorous, sweet, genuine, or serious. Which one you decide to choose will depend on your personality as well as what you are looking for. One way to compose a first message is to read her profile and look closely at her pictures. Find something that she likes that you enjoy or have always wanted to try. “I see you enjoy (). I’ve always wanted to try that”, is a good opening line that will work in nearly every situation.
If you prefer to send a humorous message, “Looks like we both have great taste lol” or “I’m not sure how the Tinder dating protocol works, but I’m assuming this is the part where I ask you What do you do? Where are you from? What’s your favorite color?” will work well.
For sexy messages, try “Would you rather give up coffee or orgasms” “Wow! You’re almost attractive as me!” or “Sweet baby Jesus! Tell your parents good job”.
Safe messages include questions like “What are you doing”, “You look nice. How are you”, or “Hi. I”m new in town.”
What Really Works
What works for real guys on real girls? According to a Reddit thread, messages that are funny or genuine and show that you’ve read their profile and viewed their pictures seem to work the best.
One lady said that she prefers “Anything that sounds remotely genuine, really. Most recently a guy messaged me saying he saw we had a lot in common and asked if I was up for chatting. It was nice because it was very low pressure. Another guy started a conversation by asking about my latest moment, which I felt showed he was paying attention and was interested in me.” Another user expressed a similar sentiment. “Anything that shows it isn’t a generic copy/paste that you’re spamming every possibility with because you believe the biggest net catches the most fish. Anything that shows little effort receives little to no effort. Something that indicates you actually read the profile and are interested in them as a person due to something specific on their profile. Bonus points if it’s a hobby and even more if you have it in common. Minimal points for superficial compliments.
Many men claim to have success with funny messages or something completely out of left field. One user said they have lots of success making up stories about their match based on their profile or pictures. Here’s an example. “One girl had a picture of herself with a small aircraft, some photos that looked professionally done, a photo of her with a group wearing Brazilian martial arts uniforms, and a photo of her holding up a chocolate mustache to her lips. So my first message was “If I had to guess, I would say you are a small craft pilot/model who street fights people for chocolate mustaches with mad Brazilian Jiu Jitsu skills.” She thought that was hilarious and she loved it. Turns out she is an artist, models on the side, is learning to pilot, practices Capoeira, and loves chocolate.
What Not to Do
The first message you send will set the tone for the entire conversation, so keep that in mind. Don’t ask awkward questions. Never ask anything you don’t want to know the answer to, and don’t ask anything that makes your match uncomfortable. Questions like “Does this make me look fat” are a huge turn off and will make your match uncomfortable. Steer clear of anything offensive as well. Negative comments about religion, race, and overtly sexual comments are not a good way to start off a conversation.
Having a Good Conversation
You’ve got the first message out of the way, but how do you keep the conversation going? Don’t make statements or ask questions about your future together. This can make you seem desperate or just plain creepy. Even if you are joking with a comment like “So when are we getting married?”, it can come off as weird.
Don’t talk about any past relationships or sexual history. The first conversation is not the time to ask why their last relationship ended or how many people they’ve slept with. It can feel like prying, and it’s just plain awkward.
Don’t ask questions about their financial situation, either. You can ask what they do for a living, but don’t ask them how much they make. Don’t ask them if they own their own home or have a 401K. This makes you sound like a gold digger or someone that’s just plain nosy or stuck up.
You’ll want to ask them questions that can lead to an interesting conversation. Asking them something about a hobby that’s in their profile is a good start. If they don’t give you anything to go on, mention something you enjoy. Be sure to ask if they enjoy it as well. If they say they don’t, you can make a joke and say me either. I was just checking. You can also simply ask them what they enjoy doing.
Remember to keep everything positive. Let the conversation flow naturally, just like you would in person. You don’t need a script, and you don’t want to appear to be someone that you aren’t. Unless you are a total tool, then feel free to pretend to be someone you aren’t. You’ll also want to move things along quickly. Tinder moves fast, so you’ll want to strike while the iron is hot. When you feel like you both have a general idea of who the other person is and feel comfortable, ask them out. If you wait too long, they will lose interest and move on. It shouldn’t be the first thing you say, however.
Why Women Don’t Answer on Tinder
You matched with an attractive lady on Tinder. You send them a message, but they never respond. Why don’t women answer your Tinder messages? There are a few reasons why you aren’t getting messages on Tinder. At the end of the day however, it’s either you or them.
Is it You?
If it’s rare for you to get a response to your messages on Tinder, then I’m sorry to say it’s probably you. Don’t worry, it’s nothing you can’t fix once you figure out where you are going wrong. First, go over your profile. Have a friend that you trust to be honest with you look over it as well. See if there’s anything that you can change to make yourself more desirable. Once that’s taken care of, it’s time to consider how you are approaching women. Follow the messaging guidelines above, and you should get a response.
Is it Them?
If you are getting some messages, but still have some women who don’t respond, it’s probably them. There will be some women that will like you just to see if you liked them. You can’t expect them to message you back. You’ll also run across some women who simply change their mind about you or don’t like your first message. No one hits a homerun every time. Don’t sweat it if you don’t always get a response. There is another reason as well. They may simply not know what to say.
Getting More Messages
You’ve followed all of the rules, but you still aren’t getting as many messages as you would like. How do you increase the amount of messages that you receive? The answer may be much more simple than you think.
According to Tinder’s resident sociologist, (yes they have a sociologist) many people don’t send messages because they don’t know what to say. “Hi” and “How are you” are used so much that they are less likely to get a response, so your match may not know what to say in a message.
The solution to this is to give your matches something to go on in your profile. A little information about yourself and a question can increase the amount of messages that you receive. If you enjoy traveling, you can include “Where’s your favorite vacation spot and why”. If you love art, include “Who is your favorite artist”. If you love sports, you can ask “Who’s your favorite sports team”.
Include as much information as you can in your profile. Make it easy for your matches to have something to say to you. Looking mysterious sounds great in theory, but it’s not going to get you far on Tinder.
How Has Tinder Changed Online Dating?
Tinder has changed dating for better or worse. More traditional online dating sites like Match have made changes to be more like Tinder. Many sites have adopted Tinder’s model of clicking or swiping left or right if you are interested in someone. The bottom line is that Tinder has accommodated today’s A.D.D. culture, and other online dating sites are moving that way as well in an effort to stay popular and relevant.
Melanie Robinson is a dating expert as well as a user of online dating. She says that she was once on all of the other dating sites, but now she uses Tinder exclusively. She says, “The future is the dating app. In my opinion, the lengthy profiles and questionnaires are a thing of the past. For savvy digital daters, it’s all about the app… The way we date has forever changed and those hoping this digital dating explosion is a passing phase will be disappointed. A person may not like it, but it truly is the new normal.”
Interestingly, Tinder seems to have helped traditional online dating sites more than it’s harmed them. Tinder has helped bring online dating into the mainstream, and the competition has led to many online dating sites to create their own apps so users can use them on the go. Tinder has increased the credibility of online dating, and it’s made it more of an accepted social experience. Match had a 109% increase in the amount of people who solely used their app instead of their online site in 2014, two years after Tinder came out.
How Tinder Has Changed Real Life
Tinder is designed to move quickly. If you are out on Friday night, you may be able to find someone in the same bar that you are, or near enough to you that you could meet up right then. Tinder is also a social activity. You’ll see groups of friends gathered around a phone deciding whether to right or left swipe, which is a huge step up from guiltily creating a dating profile in your bedroom.
According to the cofounder of Tinder, Justin Mateen, the app feels a basic human need. Humans need to connect with other people, and today’s life moves so fast that we don’t have a lot of time to meet other people. The on the go nature of Tinder makes it an easy way to fit meeting new people into our busy lives, and it’s fun.
Tinder is also addictive, because it gives you a rush of excitement each time you match with someone. It’s a great confidence booster, especially since you never know how many people have rejected you. The average user checks the app 11 times a day for 7 minutes at a time.
Dr. Bernie Hogan of Oxford University says that Tinder is a natural progression of dating because it’s more personalized. The ability to quickly move through potential partners is certainly empowering, and he compares it to shopping. It is like shopping for a new pair of shoes to a large extent. You see lots of shoes that you don’t like and a few that you do. (Right and left swiping). You find a few pairs that you would like to try on (message). Most of them don’t fit right, ( a few messages and you never talk to them again). You find one pair that you really like, so you take it home (date).
Has Tinder Ruined Dating?
Many people claim that Tinder has ruined dating. Vanity Fair called Tinder the dawn of the “dating apocalypse”. What’s so bad about Tinder? Is it really causing a “dating apocalypse”? Vanity Fair sets a scene at a bar on Friday night where everyone is Tindering. They interview a few guys who explain to them that they are trying to set up multiple dates for the same night, because “You don’t want to be stuck in one lane”.
The article paints a terrifying picture of a misogynistic culture where women are misled into sleeping with men and marriage becomes a thing of the past. Where Tindering and easy sex replaces real social interaction and relationships.
Is this an accurate representation of Tinder? The fact is that human nature hasn’t changed because of technology. Technology has adapted to human nature. Sure there’s lots of stories of people using Tinder just to hook up from both sexes. This is no different from going to a bar with the intention of bringing someone home. Tinder can actually offer women an advantage, because they don’t have to politely decline a drink from the guy that looks like their dad. People have been promiscuous since the dawn of time, and they don’t need an app to do it. People have also been falling in love and forming partnerships at least since the dawn of agriculture, and it’s very unlikely that an app will change that. There are many stories of people that have met the love of their life on Tinder. It’s not all about hooking up. It’s about whatever the person using it is looking for.
What Tinder Does to Your Brain
Tinder does have an effect on your brain. Keep in mind that many things have a similar effect, including games like Candy Crush and gambling. Each time you get a match on Tinder, you get a “reward”, meaning the pleasure center of your brain sends out happy chemicals. We are the most likely to continue a behavior when we get a reward intermittently. If we get rewarded each time, like winning each time we put a coin in a slot machine, then our brain gets conditioned to expect the reward.
When this happens, our brain stops releasing the reward chemicals. When we never get rewarded, our brain doesn’t release the happy chemicals. If you put coin after coin into a slot machine and never won, you’d get tired of it and stop playing. However, when we put in a coin and get rewarded sometimes, our brain will continue to release chemicals each time we get a win (or a match). Getting a match sometimes keeps those happy chemicals flowing each time we get one, and keeps us swiping hoping for a match.
For all of its criticisms, Tinder may be the closest online dating has came to real life. It allows users to meet in real life without too much effort. Making judgements about others based on appearance is also a component of meeting people in real life. Let’s face it, when we are looking for a potential partner in real life, if we aren’t attracted to their looks, we aren’t interested.
Getting Dates on Tinder
When the conversation is flowing well and it’s clear that you both like each other, it’s time to ask for a date. It’s a good idea to exchange phone numbers before you ask for a date. If they aren’t willing to give you their number, they aren’t willing to give you a date. After you’ve asked for their number, you can continue to chat on the app or ask if they would like to text.
Before you ask for a date, it’s time to test the waters. You can say something that is pure fantasy like, “It’s so cold. We should take a trip to the Bahamas”. You can also say something like, “What would you be like if we met in person someday?” You’ll be able to tell if she’s ready to say yes to a date by her reaction to these types of comments. If she seems hesitant, then chat with her some more before you ask her. You don’t want to continuously ask questions like this, and you don’t want to wait long to ask them for a date if they seem interested. It will make you seem shy or wishy washy. If they give you the green light, take it.
When you ask for a date, you’ll probably be more successful if you keep it casual. Keep the pressure and the expectations low, and they will be more likely to say yes. Asking them out for coffee, a drink, or a walk at the local park are great ways to keep things casual. If you really like each other, you can move on to a more formal date.
You’ll want to schedule your date for the same or next day if at all possible, and aim to at least meet them within 48 hours. This allows you to take advantage of the initial excitement of your conversation. After 48 hours, their memory of you and their excitement about you start to fade, and it’s easy for something to come up or for them to talk themselves out of your date. If they can’t meet you within that time frame, tell them you can’t make any concrete plans in advance, but set a tentative date. This keeps some excitement there, because they aren’t entirely sure that you will make their date. Tell them you’ll let them know for certain when the time is nearer.
It’s inevitable that you will experience some cancellations, especially if you are a guy. Women get nervous meeting someone, and they can come up with a thousand reasons not to meet you. Don’t take it personal, because she’s likely still interested. Just be understanding and keep chatting with her. Try to reschedule when she is more comfortable with you, and be sure that the date is in a public place and low pressure.
What Are Tinder Dates Like
Are Tinder dates safe? Are they awkward? Is there any chance at finding a real relationship on a Tinder date? The answer to these questions is honestly the same as they would be for any other date, especially online dating.
They are as safe as you choose to make them. Follow the general safety rules of meeting in a public place and having your own transportation, and you are as safe as you would be on any other outing.
Tinder dates can be awkward, but so can dates with people you met in real life or traditional online dating sites. Tinder may actually have the advantage, because Tinder dates tend to be more casual. Sitting through an awkward cup of coffee is much easier than sitting through an awkward dinner.
Of course there’s also a chance that the date won’t be awkward at all, and you’ll find the love of your life or the love of the night, at least. Tinder dates really offer you the same chance of success as any other method of meeting people, but it’s easier to meet people and start chatting. This inevitably leads to more opportunities for dates, which increases your chance of success, no matter what you are looking for.
How to Have a Great Tinder Date
The first part of having a great Tinder date is to decide on where to go and what to do. This will depend on what you two both enjoy. Drinks or coffee is always a winner, because it gives you the opportunity to get to know each other. However, it can also lead to awkward silences or a date that isn’t very memorable. If you’re concerned about being able to keep the conversation and chemistry flowing, consider an activity for your first date.
Something inexpensive and fun like mini golf is a good idea. Going hiking nearby can be fun as well if you are both up to it. A local bar with pool tables can also be fun. Any activity that gives you the opportunity to talk while doing the activity is a good idea, as long as it’s something you both enjoy.
Date Day Tips for Guys
Guys, take a little control on date day. First, keep in touch with her that day, so she knows what to expect. Don’t go all stalker, but a text about how excited you are that day goes a long way. Let her know when you are on your way to where you are going to have your date as well.
Get there a few minutes early and make sure everything is setup correctly. If you are playing mini golf, for example, go ahead and get the clubs and balls. Depending on your intentions, you could say something sexy about a club and balls. If you are going bowling, go ahead and get a lane. If you are having drinks or dinner, go ahead and get a table. This small gesture flatters the woman and it makes you look more macho.
Since you’ll get there before her, give her a call when you arrive. This keeps her updated and gives you a quick warm up conversation before you are face to face.
When you are on the date, be sure to let her know that you find her interesting. Ask her questions about her life and what she likes. To be memorable, you’ll also want to ask her questions that she has to consider the answer to. “What are you most passionate about? If you won ten million dollars and never had to work again, what would you do?” Ask her about something that she likes. If she enjoys reading, ask her “Who is your favorite author and why?” You can modify this question to nearly anything she enjoys from art to sports teams. You can also play a guessing game. Ask her what she was like in high school. Then say, “No wait. Let me guess.” Keep your guessing playful but nice. Then let her do the same for you.
When you are on a date with a girl, you should have three main goals. To get to know each other better, build attraction, and to be memorable.
Date Day Tips for Ladies
Ladies, your first priority is safety. Be sure that where your meeting is somewhere you are comfortable with. This is important for another reason as well. If you aren’t comfortable before the date begins, you aren’t likely to be comfortable during the date, either. Don’t be afraid to say that you don’t enjoy what your match suggests you do on your date or that you aren’t comfortable with it. If you turn down their idea, simply offer one of your own so they don’t think you are rejecting them.
When it comes to the actual date, don’t stress. Focus on having a good time and getting to know each other. Go with the flow. Don’t try to hard, and don’t worry about whether or not they like you.
Getting a Second Date
You both enjoy your date, but neither of you texts after you go home. By the next day, you are wondering if you’ve misread their signals, and you are already searching for your next TInder match. It doesn’t have to go this way, however.
First, ask for a second date before the first date is over if things are going well. This takes the stress out of wondering if they like you enough to see you again. You can set up your next date, or just agree to go out again.
Next, send them a text after you get home. A simple “I made it home ok. Did you.” or “I had a great time tonight. I can’t wait to see you again.” is enough to relieve so much of the post date stress and let the other person know you are interested.
Now that your burning Tinder questions are answered, you should be able to use Tinder like a pro. Happy tindering!