REASON #3: INEFFECTIVE SOCIAL SKILLS
I bet you know just how to interact with your buddies while playing world of war craft or star craft right? You are a pro at all of the lingo and correct social etiquette within these online games however do you know how to approach a women and get her immediately attracted to you?
The best news for you is that it’s all learnable. Just like you learnt to master that game you can also learn to master the art of attraction and seduction.
Effective social skills are the building blocks of success in most fields if not all fields of life. So to think that this is not important enough to spend some time on is insanity.
Lacking in the basic social skills required to communicate with women put’s you way behind the competition.
Placing an increased importance on working on your communication is easy. Just go out and talk more. You cannot just read more information and talk in your head you actually have to get out there and converse.
Social SKILLS are not social INFORMATION, they are not full of theories, systems or secrets
You earn social skills and ease of communication over time.
Women place social skills VERY high on their list of priorities and without effective communication this becomes nigh impossible.
REASON #4: YOU OVERTHINK
This fascinating trait of nerdy men is really interesting:
It may by to do with the dunning kruger effect. You know TOO much about ability to perform and the potential outcomes so doing a simple risk benefit analysis in your head soon extinguishes any hope you had of approaching. Most other guys think little about the outcome and rush head first into a group of women with boyish enthusiasm.
You need to forget about the outcome and stop over thinking situations. Even if your “cost benefit” analysis in your head is correct you it will not help you learn from your mistakes.
Approaching a women and failing is what you need MORE of not LESS.
Plan for the worst and expect the best is all you should be doing right now. Meaning you dress well you smile and you have a few “techniques” from
but after all of this thinking you have got to get out of your head and start living in the moment. One of the best ways to impress women is to be present in the moment. Which involves thinking of nothing else but what she is saying and being genuinely interested in her story.
You can manage that cant you?
Rather than stacking reasons in your head for potential failures and pitfalls hold only positive thoughts.
Negative and disastrous imagery is one of the big reasons why the approach and chat will fail. In fact if you forget all about consequences and just chat to friends that are male the females will soon notice you. At least you are talking and getting used to the social scene.
Some say successful dating is a numbers game and they are right to some degree. By stacking reasons for failure you are basically increasing your chances of NEVER even trying.
If you never try you never succeed. It comes back to be used to winning all the time in your chosen field. You might be thinking…
If I fail all the time why bother.
It may sound logical and make perfect sense not to try to succeed with women and dating when you fail every single time but you just need a different approach. You are trying something that doesn’t work for you.
If you don’t understand women and don’t understand what it takes to be successful with women then how can you possibly win at the game?
It’s like trying to code a game without knowing how to code. The game will suck!
In this case you suck!
REASON #5: YOU SEEK ONLY INFORMATIONAL SOLUTIONS
More information is often the solution to problems that arise in life.
Natural remedies to deal with the common cold
How to get rid of viruses on your computer
Great just find out how to do it
But more information is not always the case once you have reached a point of understanding. When women you need to move past the information stage into the action stage. Better yet you should put everything you read in a day into action THAT DAY if possible.
Informational and analytical solutions will rarely solve your dating worries.
It’s likely that your problems stem from Emotional and Physical issues. Discovering how they arose and the theory behind their development in your body will do little to eliminate them.
Information is great! But just be aware when it’s time to move onto the action and implementation phase… the best time is now!
Just get out there and try some stuff. It can be as small as giving some advice to a women on the street about a recent purchase decision. ANYTHING to get you engaging in normal conversation is a great start.
Right now even if you don’t think so… you will have TO MUCH information in your head.
More information is a great excuse not to go out tonight right? Stay at home, get on the internet and watch some more how to vids on youtube or read some more articles. It’s a safe option. You are learning and bettering yourself but the truth is that your not actually doing yourself any favours because the real progress comes from in the field work.
REASON #6: YOU DONT FOCUS ON EMOTION
In case you haven’t noticed: In order to ATTRACT a women you actually have to get her EMOTIONS going. I believe that you are focusing to much on the “what do I say” and not enough on the “how does she feel” because all it really comes down to is… how is she feeling.
Women are emotional creatures and at the moment you don’t get them going emotionally because your to focuses on the logistics of the process.
Like a trained pilot going through his pre flight routines you rarely listen to what she is saying or ask her how she feels.
It’s not about which string of sentences get her turned on which quite frankly is old news it’s about connecting with her.
You THINK very well, she wants to FEEL. Dating is about emotion and chemistry and flirting not about the process of “pick up” or “closing” or “approaching a set”. Even though these are useful buzz word terms to get your head around different dating situations all it really comes down to is a guy talking to a girl about common interests.
BUT common interests does not mean you mention ANYTHING about your day job coding gaming sci fi dress up games, weather, politics or chess…
DO NOT talk about LOGIAL conversation topics with women: Women are just not interested in that stuff when you first meet them. They might well be into “sci fi star wars dress up” but that should come up later on… if at all.
Forget about logistics and focus on asking her questions about herself.