REASON #7: YOU’RE NOT GOOD “IN THE MOMENT”
The ability to think on your feet and come across witty is a tough one to cultivate and you don’t have to be a pro but it pays to be o.k.
Being able to impress and converse with women means being able to transition between multiple topics.
Women like to laugh and joke and be playful – your serious nature can get in the way of her attempts to lighten the mood. Being in the moment means letting go of your inhibitions and insecurities for the night. (hopefully forever)
When your chatting to women you don’t have time to sit down and analyse what she said and why said it. She expects an answer straight away.
This means you almost need to speak to her without the use of your conscious mind. The words should just flow out of your mouth without too much thought. This is being in the moment and it means you can focus on her emotions and how your words are affecting her.
Women can sense if your nervous and in your head VERY quickly.. It’s almost scary how good they are at spotting a guy that doesn’t get it.
Women are interested in assessing whether you are “worthy” of chatting to… Are you the leader of this tribe or group you are a part of? They will run verbal tests on you to see if you seek her validation or not.
You will know if you failed one of these crazy female tests (they don’t even know their doing them) if she seems uninterested without any reason.
Anyway back to the point: You need to work on your “presence”
You might well be extremely intelligent intellectually but not so intelligent emotionally. This is why you are not having success with women.
By increasing your emotional intelligence you are able to take on these female tests, nail them and then throw one of your own right back. They will not be ready for it and will be very impressed.
These tests are really probes for IOI’s
If she gets an indicator of interest from you then she knows that you are keen to get to know her, to many IOI’s from you without any IOI’s from her and it’s a massive sign of weakness.
So talk with this women … but don’t give too much away that you are into her UNTIL she breaks first.
HER: Do you like my hair? I dyed it last week…
YOU PRESENT: Are you kidding I LOVE it, it makes you look so pretty and it matches your outfit, (this is what her gf would say to her)
YOU FUTURE: It’s blond… I prefer brunettes, too bad for you…
This would be an example of a dynamic response to a dynamic question posed by a girl in search of your “manliness”, in search of IOI’s and in search of weaknesses.
It might seem insane to you that you would respond to an attract women in such a way. There is an art to it, such that you don’t come across like a dickhead.
Mabey you smile knowingly into her eyes, nodding your head while you say “it’s cute”
YOU FUTURE: It’s blond… I prefer brunettes, too bad for you… it’s cute
REASON #8: YOUR TOO NICE
In that last example I suggested two different responses to a question posed by a women. The first answer was the nice one the second answer was the cocky funny answer.
The NICE personality rarely gets the women in the end even though she is attracted to your “nice” nature.
The NICE move is often not the intelligent one.
Taking her to her favourite restaurant , buying her the nicest flowers that you know she loves are all nice moves but when you just meet her or on the first few dates these are all deemed as manipulation techniques by MOST men.
So you just end up coming across as a major douche bag even though you were trying to be thoughtful.
MISTAKE #9: YOU POSITION YOURSELF AS THE EXPERT
Like the stubbornness trait, always positioning yourself as the expert in a social situation is a bad move. Are you the smart guy who corrects everyone? No one person likes to be proved wrong especially in front of a group of peers.
Despite your best intentions to impress, posing as an expert and chiming in with the correct answer every 4 minutes is a real lame move.
Even if you are a beginner a something… do you try to act like you know a lot about it? and even argue the point that you know might be false? Accepting that you don’t know something is a major strength and something that should be cultivated.
Rather than accepting a novice status at SOME things you might find yourself never really learning anything new from other people because they think you are to proud to accept that the fact that you don’t know it.
MISTAKE #10: HIGH ON INTELLIGENCE LOW TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Mentioned before but defiantly deserves it’s own mistake category. This really does encapsulate the entire 10 steps together.
You are just low on emotional intelligence; you struggle to keep your emotions under control in stressful situations despite your best intellectual efforts.
A geek/nerd’s strength is his MIND while his weakness is his EMOTIONS.
It’s just down to practice. How do you react to fear? If you run away from fear of rejection, humiliation, failure then you will never overcome these fears.
Are you willing to live a life of both:
Quite desperation and lonely isolation just because you aren’t prepared to stand up to whatever fear you are running from?
Truth is all men go through a period of running. So you are not alone.
But you have to decide when enough is enough.
Many of these problems you may have can be solved simply by getting out of the house more and talking to people.
Being active at least one a day for more than 15 minutes is also a great way to reset and get rid of any nerves that have built up during the day.
Reframe from turning to alcohol to calm your nerves. In the end it’s a quick fix and over time alcohol will be your worst enemy.