Basic Personal Ad Tips
Don’t be afraid to make changes
If your profile ad isn’t working for you, don’t be afraid to make some changes. In most cases you won’t need to change the entire ad, just edit a few parts of it.
If you haven’t gotten a few reasonable responses in a week, then you may either need to change your ad or where you are posting it.
However, women don’t respond to ads as often as men, so men may have a more difficult time getting responses.
Be creative, not boring
Try to avoid the same cliches other put into their ads. Be different. Stand out. Show your personality.
This is the most important part of writing your personal ad. The right person will enjoy whatever side you choose to show in your ad.
Your personality, romance, and humor are what make you who you are, don’t be afraid to show it.
Don’t lie in your ad, especially about things that are easily found out. If you lie about your weight or act like you are in a different income bracket than you are, you will be easily found out, and the other person will not be impressed.
Don’t give out information that makes you look bad unless it’s absolutely necessary, but try to avoid telling outright lies.
Keep in mind that you will want to be more honest if your goal is a long term relationship than if you are looking for a hookup.
Don’t show off financially
There’s nothing wrong with financial security, but mentioning it in your ad can make you sound like a douche.
The exception here is if you are looking for a sugar baby/sugar daddy. Then finances are an openly important part of the process.
Of course it still matters, regardless of the type of relationship you are seeking. Women want a man that can take care of them financially, even if they fully intend to take care of themselves.
Don’t mention finaces in a manner that seems like you are bragging. However, you can slip in a hint that you are financially stable. Mention a vacation, a hobby like yachting, etc.
Your ad and your communications should be positive. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t. Focus on what you have to offer, not what you can’t give.
After you’ve written your ad, reread it and look for any negative language that you may need to change.
Successful Personal Ad Details
Be upfront about your relationship status
This isn’t the place to bring up your relationship issues, but you should let people know your relationship status.
If you aren’t single, don’t say you are. No need for a lengthy explanation. Married, Open Marriage, Separated, In a Relationship. Use these terms and say no more unless you are asked about it.
Be upfront about what you are seeking
Do you want a hookup? Something more? Open to anything? Plan to settle down at some point but not quite ready?
Most personal ads don’t prompt you to put the relationship status you are seeking, so you will need to include it in your ad.
Be respectful. Saying “looking for a friend to spend time with and see how things go” sounds much more appealing than looking for a fwb. Be honest, but tactful.
Add a photo
Add a photo if you are permitted. Ads with photos get much more responses than those without one.
Keep it simple. A flattering picture of your face (preferably not a selfie) is usually all that’s required.
Details.. Details.. Details…
Show who you are through the use of details. This is effective for guys and girls. Women are emotional, so men can use details to evoke emotion. Men are visual, but women can take advantage of this by including descriptive imagery.
The best way to use details is to focus on something you love, like your favorite hobby or your ideal first date. Describe it in detail. Include how it feels to you as well as exactly what you would be doing.
Who are you looking for?
You should include the type of person you are looking for in your ad. Don’t have a laundry list, and try not to be superficial.
Focus on personality, and keep it positive. Don’t complain about what you don’t want. Keep it to what you are looking for
Replying to Personal Ads
When you respond to a personal ad, you should write one or two paragraphs. Comment on a few things mentioned in the ad, and tell them a little about yourself.
On dating sites, they can simply check your profile. On a personals site, they are only going to know what you tell them in your message.
Let them know what you liked
Let them know what specifically caught your eye about their ad. “I found (x) interesting” or “I also enjoy doing (x).
This shows them that you bothered reading their ad, and lets them know that you saw something that you liked about them.
This is especially important when messaging a female. You never want her to feel like you are interested solely because she’s available.
Mention why you think you would like each other
Do you have something in common? Do you meet the criteria they are looking for? Do they have the qualities you are looking for?
Mention these things in your message. “I think we would like each other because (x)” or “I noticed we both love (x)”.
Keep it clean (mostly)
The degree of flirting and innuendo that is acceptable in a personal ad will depend on the type of personals site you are using and what you are looking for.
However, when it comes to flirting, less is more. Be a little flirty. Do not mention anything overtly sexual in the first message.
“Hey girl fuck me. Cause oh this dick.” is never a good pick up line. Show some class and effort.
Even if it is all about sex, do not act like it is all about sex. Be honest but respectful.
Ask a few questions
The purpose of your first message should be to get them interested enough to read your message and reply, and to give them something to reply to.
This is where questions come in. It gives them an easy way to respond. We are also programmed to feel obligated to answer questions, so asking them gives you a better chance of a response.
Keep your questions related to the conversation, and do not ask anything that you clearly know the answer to.
If she mentions she loves cats in her ad, for example, do not ask “So, you like cats?”. Ask “What is your favorite thing about cats?” instead.