The Long Termer
The girl you could show your parents… You dont necessarily have to be sexually attracted to her but you have to respect her at some deeper level. You are more like companions and good friends than anything else.
Sadly these relationships are more like business agreements than relationships of the sexual kind. Even though their is more love in these relationships than there is in the short termer relationships their is less sporadic and lively sexual experiences.
If your not careful she will rob you of your mojo and take over the running of the house, finances and eventually your life.
This relationship is more of a good long term play – it might sound boring but it’s safe. The two of you get on so well outside the bedroom that you hardly need it anyway.
There is a risk of infidelity if the sex becomes too infrequent.
The Short Termer
The girl you wouldn’t take home and introduce to your mom. This is purely a sexual exploration. You find her weird and almost abhorrent outside the bedroom but she has some strong power over you.
These girls usually have very erratic personalities or daddy issues.
The attraction you feel is purely physical and you both know there is no chance of a serious relationship.
This girl allows you to be yourself and celebrates you for your risk taking and wilder side. She would be a tough one to live with but is great for a one night stand or casual sex relationship.
Now the real question is
Where is the middle ground?
Does a middle ground exist between these two types of girls?
If you have found a girl that is not only a good long term partner but also one that you find sexually attractive,
We have a winner… bing bing bing bing!!!
Hold on to her.
I am not talking about a girl that you love and have just accepted that she is cute but could do better. I’m not talking about a girl that is just OK in the bedroom and does what she does to get by. But a girl that you get on with spiritually, sexually, emotionally, in business, in play, in life goals, in hobbies, in personality…
There must be some compromise – but you might as well shoot for the stars right?
Are you settling for the extremes above? Do you have the equivalent of a mother figure that is bossing you around?
Why are you giving her the right to do so?
If she really loved you she would understand that you like to live your life a certain way.
Many of the long termers try to CHANGE their guy – they find a man that they think has POTENTIAL and then shape and mold him into the gentleman she can show her parents.
Do you remember the last time you went out with the boys and had a great time… those times you use to have when you were single…
The trouble with getting advice from your partner and letting her comb your hair and wash you face is this…
SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS
The more you allow her to manipulate you – the less attractive you become to her in the long run. You must maintain your independence and sense of adventure!
You must hold onto that masculine drive to do better and be better.
To many guys settle for the far end of the spectrum – they play it safe and loose their dick in the process… who took it? Your wife did!
image: graur codrin, Louisa Stokes