So you have recently been apart of a divorce and you want to get back into the dating scene. The divorce may have left you a little confused as to what you should now expect.
You might feel empowered by your new found freedom
You might feel alone and lacking confidence because your wife used to organise and do everything for you
Dating After Divorce Step #1 Emotional Reflection
Leaving the emotions and issues of your failed marriage behind is one of the toughest aspects of dating after divorce. There will be a period of grieving and loss which may go on for some time. You need to allow yourself to get over what happened. It may have been all your fault or she may have cheated on you but whatever the reason for you current situation – you need to focus on the future.
Self Reflection: During the mourning process you are going to need to reflect on what went wrong. Perhaps you have some emotional issues that you need to sort out such as trust and infidelity. Maybe you just go bored in the marriage and did yourself a favour. You will never know until you give yourself a week where you focus on what really went wrong.
Backtrack into the years of the past and write down specific times where you know you let your wife down. Then write down what you could have done better. This reflection is important because it can paint a picture of the kind of man you need to be to make marriage work. It can also describe the kind of women you don’t want to be with.
If you want you can describe the attributes of your partner that really annoyed you and were some of the contributing reasons for the divorce. This way you will be able to better avoid these women and situations in the future. Successful dating after divorce involves learning from your mistakes.
Dating After Divorce Step #2 The Masculinity Finder
You may have been a pick up legend back when you were 22 but now that you have been somewhat feminised by your long marriage you will have lost a lot of the charm that won your wife over.
You need to find yourself and your masculinity again. This involves hanging out with your mates again or going on a solo trip (around the world/ bike ride across America).
This independence and sense of adventure will change your perspective and open up new opportunities.
Marriage is an amazing thing if you and your partner really bond and become on. But when you split you lose part of yourself and that part is usually your masculinity and your independence. It seems weird that you become more feminine the longer you are with your partner but in most cases this is what happens.
Give yourself time to adjust to your new life alone.
Emotions of sadness and guilt are normal after a divorce so just give your mind a chance to heal. Dont go running back to your wife expecting forgiveness. Whatever happened, happened for a reason and now you need to move on.
Dating After Divorce Step #3 Back In The Game!
Get Active – It helps to get active after a divorce. Staying around the house and living in self pity are sure ways to post divorce depression. Exercise at least once a day for more than 15 minutes so that your heart rate is high and you get out of breath.
Talk with friends – Go out and socialize with friends. Sports and dinner parties with friends are a great way to let others now how things are going. This can relieve stress and let yourself know that everything is going to work out fine.
It’s easy to let yourself go after a divorce and it’s fine for awhile (during the mourning process) but once you decide to date again you are going to want to groom and dress well again.
Your dating efforts wont all end up in dates and happy endings after divorce so you are going to have to accept a few failures. Trial and error after divorce will ensure you find someone compatible if you are serious enough about making it work.