The truth is… most men fail miserably at online dating but it’s not for the lack of trying. Often the answer to why guys don’t get dates online is just that there are not enough women to go around.
Yes there’s a 50:50 ratio offline but online the demographics are not in your favour. Most attractive women just don’t feel the need to use online dating sites because they get so much attention offline. They get hit on multiple times a day… why create a profile that adds to that?
Women use online dating sites to find someone that they really connect with – not the same old dude that’s going to flake out a few days later. They want a leader of men, a confident guy that really gets them.
Like you they are also trying to punch above their weight and if they can snag a hot bloke using online dating they will. But the problem once again is most don’t have to.
This means as a guy using online dating sites you need to stand out from the crowd. Standing out from hundreds of other guys that are fighting for the attention of a select few females sounds very sad indeed but this is not unlike offline dating.
In fact throughout evolutionary time fighting for the attention of females is what we do best. So rather than getting down about the competition embrace it and beat the competition by cultivating that edge that you need to get her attention.
These tips are not just about getting the attention of women for the first time but actually keeping it right through the process of the first date and beyond.
Here are the top 5 ways to not only stand out online but to to also keep her attention once you’ve got it.
1. Improve yourself
Your online profile is a mere reflection of your offline world. If your offline life blows then it’s going to be hard to lie your way around the fact that you have no job. The best way to attract women online is to actually be successful offline.
This way you can proudly state that you are a leader of your c grade highschool football team or better yet own a successful company. Women want to know that you’re not just faking it online to get a quick score (because most guys are).
It’s easy to stand out online if you are actually a genuinely decent guy with some successes to your name. Because the reality of men online is rather sad by all accounts. So all you need to do to get the attention of women online is to work on your attributes / body /life goals (if you have any)
2. Take control
Women actually use a certain test to check if you are date worthy. When you approach them offline they will test to see if they can intimidate you and control you.
It’s basically a transfer of IOI’s (indicators of interest) and the person that gets the most IOI’s wins. She is probing you for weaknesses and holes to exploit so that she can see if she is more powerful than you. If you break and she realises that you are NOT in fact the leader of anyone then she will not be attracted to you.
Pretty brutal explanation but one that you should take note of.
Take control of a conversation and do not take any shit from feminist probing felines. You control the online conversation , rather than asking if she wants to “meet up” like everybody else you DEMAND her respect because you are the leader of men right?
“Can we go out?… if you want” FAIL
“We are going to meet for coffee at x bar, 10am Sat 17” should have more success
Nothing is fool proof online and women have different personalities but you taking control is one way to get the FULL attention of women online.
3. Be Direct
As a lead on from taking control you need to be direct when conversing and email women online. You make certain that they know your intentions are good. All you want to do is meet up at 10pm at this location and you WONT be denied because you are more than worthy of her respect and admiration.
This might sound like you are being arrogant and disrespectful but think again – you still 100% respect her boundaries BUT you are expressing high value to her in that there is no way that she wouldn’t want to meet you.
Give her no choice to say no. It comes down to how you phrase your question and how you respond. Most guys, for some reason are just way to timid in their approach for fear of getting rejected.
Truth is… the more up front and direct you are with women the LESS likely you are to be rejected. Women want you to organise the event and demand their attention. Let them know early on what you expect from them and that you are not beating around the bush. You are a busy man and they are wasting your time by mindlessly chatting waiting for the “right” time.
If you want to know something about a women online just ASK HER. You are portraying low value by avoiding asking whatever hard question you have for her. If she is offended by the question then be done with it and move on.
4. Body Language
Unfortunately you can’t portray high value on line through body language unless they can see your body in profile pictures or if you are video chatting. When getting the attention of women offline most guys get it all wrong because it is so counter intuitive. You see they “lean in”, chase and follow women around rather than holding their ground and actually attracting women through high value body language.
Mastering body language is seduction 101 but most guys get an F. Are you submissive and apologetic? Are your profile pictures weak and wussy? Are you staring longingly into the camera in the hope that a women will feel sorry for you? I would recommend changing your picture to one where you’re not even looking into the camera at all.
5. Don’t Compliment
Women are looking for compliments (IOI’s)
They might suggest that their profile picture is horrible: This is your chance to once again demonstrate that you are different to most guys.
If she says
My hair looks bad in that pic
Yeh I wasn’t going to say anything but you might wanna change that.
Most guys will be quick to jump on this bait left by the hot women they are chatting to. They will jump to her rescue and offer up suggestions or say how beautiful she is.
I look fat in that picture but I’m not in real life
I’ll believe it when I see it
My hair was a mess that day I took that picture
Maybe you’ll look better tomorrow.
You are indicating that yes she doesn’t look great but you are giving her a chance to redeem herself in your eyes. If she doesn’t probe for IOI’s you can even bring up the fact that her profile picture looks funny.
Once again this will get you attention from women online because it really is not what they expect.