Not much of a talker? That’s ok – there are ways to turn her on with non verbal communication.
What is non verbal communication anyway…?
It’s not what your thinking. Non verbal communication is basically the other 93%!
Meaning everything else other than the specific words that you use. Keep in mind that tonality and pitch are part of non verbal communication.
The exiting thing about working on your non verbal communication or “subcom” is it will brush off big time on other areas of your life.
eg – pitch volume and speed.
You might be thinking – this isn’t non verbal communication!
#1 Speak Up!
Most guys especially in bars and clubs are way to quiet and it just comes off as week. Dont yell in her ear but speak much louder than you think you have to. If your not drinking this is especially important.
Just think how unappealing a timid quiet voice is. You take this into a bar and you’ll get brushed off in favour of the obnoxious yeller.
You don’t want to scream your point across – just have a commanding dominant voice.
#2 Slow Down!
The ability to speak slowly in a women’s presence is attractive. Most guys will speak far to quickly in an attempt to get out what they came to say. You should know that’s got very little to do with what your actually saying.
Your influence on her will be based on a complicated mixture of non verbal elements. Your verbal speed is one of them.
It’s tough to slow down your delivery but by assuming that what you have to say is interesting and worthwhile you force yourself to get the point across.
Guys who rush there speech are assuming that if they take up to much of a women’s time she will cut them off mid sentence or plain reject them. Rushed speech is brought on by approach anxiety and a lack of confidence. Relax and get your head straight before you deliver your dominant and well delivered opener.
#3 Change It Up!
Nothing worse than a boring monotone guy with little enthusiasm in his voice.
If your not enthusiastic about your own delivery how can you expect her to be?
Capture peoples attention with variability and tone changes.
You might be thinking – yeah ok this is pretty obvious right? Yes it is but guys still dont do it vary far. It’s better to go to far than not enough… meaning be over expressive or more expressive than you think you should be. It’ll feel weird at first but you will be surprised at the reaction you get.
There is a difference between using your vocal cords and using your chest to produce sound. This may sound odd but you are able to lower your voice and sound more dominant if you produce sound from your chest. You should be able to feel vibrations in your chest.
Even if you feel comfortable it doesn’t mean that the position you are in conveys status or confidence. Bad body language stems from your insecurity and nervousness.
Keep in mind that this all happens automatically. A low status male will divert his eyes from a high status male naturally without thinking about it.
This is why women use body language over other attributes to filter out undesirable men. Guys can fake confidence and status with clothing and conversation but if there really worth something it will show in their body language.
Make sure that you feel relaxed and confident while speaking to women. There is not reason for you to be fidgety or hurried in your actions.
The more “still” you can be the better… a still and quiet mind helps here!
Here are a big list of DONTS
- lean forward
- make sudden weird movements
- divert your eyes
- take up space
- widen your stance
- maintain eye contact
- hold your head up
- push your shoulders back
The most important in the list is eye contact. The most tell tale sign of low confidence is not looking someone in the eye when you talk to them. Overdo this! It will feel weird but get used to looking women directly in the eyes while talking… smile!
Use your hands to casually gesture… use open palm gestures.