Understanding Women and How to Have Successful Hook Ups
Getting laid on a date can seem more complicated than a calculus equation, but it really doesn’t have to be. Knowing the basics of how to find a date, what to do and say on one, and how to seal the deal can greatly improve your chances of getting what you want from the opposite sex.
Getting Sex On The First Date
Before we move into getting a date and sealing the deal, it’s important for you to know what you are looking for. Are you interested in a one night stand? Sex on the first date? A casual friend with benefits type relationship? A romantic relationship that includes sex? You have to know what you want before you can expect to find it. You should also spend some time considering the type of person that you are hoping to attract. Do you want an easy hook up? A good girl that will hook up with you because of your animal magnetism? Part of being successful is knowing what you are attracted to. This includes personality, lifestyle, and physical characteristics.
You should also consider what you bring to the table. You should always play to your strengths. Being attractive is always helpful, but not necessary to have success with the ladies. Your personality, confidence, sense of humor, and intelligence can all have more impact on your success than your looks. Take some time to figure out what your best features are, and play to your strengths.
Understand and Identify Types
There are fourteen basic types of women. They all have their strengths and weaknesses, but some will be more suited for what you are looking for than others.
The Party Girl
The party girl obviously loves to party. She’s not the type to spend Saturday night at home. She is generally fun to be around, as long as you don’t have a problem with her party girl ways. Some party girls enjoy drinking or hooking up on a regular basis. Others may enjoy things like going out with their girlfriends to dance or have a few drinks, but don’t let things get out of hand.
The most obvious place to meet a party girl is at a party. You can spot them in the online dating world if they mention that they enjoy going to parties, dancing, or alcohol. You can spot them in everyday life, too. They will be energetic and having fun. These fun loving hotties are a great choice for a one night stand or casual relationship. They can sometimes make good girlfriends as well. This depends on how outgoing you are, and how much of a party girl they are.
The girl with the perfectly manicured nails, a designer outfit, and not a hair out of place is probably high maintenance. These girls will never leave the house unless every aspect of their appearance is perfect. They usually spend a good deal of money and time to keep their looks up. These women are undoubtedly beautiful, but they can be difficult to hook up or have a relationship with. Some of these women are independent, while others will expect you to spend money on them and buy them things. This type of woman probably won’t give you the time of day if you don’t appear to fit in their social class, and they have high standards for physical fitness and attractiveness as well. If you are a jeans and t shirt kind of guy, you are wasting your time. However, if you have good social and financial standing and enjoy looking your best, a high maintenance woman could make a good partner for you. Unless they are married and seeking an affair, though, they aren’t likely to engage in casual sex.
Psycho women are a double edged sword. Sex with them can be passionate, explosive, and incredible. However, they may assume that sex with them entitles them to more of a relationship with them than you are interested in. These are the women who will get jealous easily. They may try to control you, even if you aren’t in an actual relationship with them. They will have a quick temper. This may manifest as them getting very angry over waiting in line or poor service at a restaurant, or it may be mainly directed at you. Some women will become verbally or physically abusive to you or anyone else that you try to date, while others will act in a passive aggressive manner. They may stand you up or show up late for dates repeatedly, make demeaning comments, or cut you off sexually if you do something to displease them.
It’s best to keep your interactions with the psycho personality type to one night stands, but it can take time for them to start exhibiting signs of being a psycho. If they seem extremely self absorbed or emotionally unstable, it’s best to limit your contact to one steamy night and not give them your real phone number.
There is an episode of The Andy Griffith show in which Goober (who is not exactly good with the ladies) begins to date a lady named Lydia. The episode is hilarious, because Lydia is so dull that she sucks the life out of everything. Any attempt to do something entertaining get shot down. Trying to have a conversation with her doesn’t go any better. Lydia is a perfect example of a dull woman. This type of woman doesn’t seem to have any real hobbies or interests. They either don’t have an opinion at all, or they seem to dislike everything. This is the type of woman who will exhaust you simply by being boring. She may be physically attractive, but she won’t have a personality to go with it.
This woman may be ok for a one night stand or an occasional encounter, but the sex on the first date will likely be boring as well, so you are really better served to just pass on this type of woman.
These ladies are the opposite of the party girl. They would rather stay home and watch a movie on Friday night than go to a bar. Many of these ladies are “the homemaker” type, which means they put effort into making their house a home. They tend to hold the home to a higher degree of importance, and will probably enjoy cooking a romantic dinner for the two of you.
The other type of homebody is the lazy type. To use another T.V. analogy, Peg from Married with Children embodies this type perfectly. Her favorite pastime is sitting on the couch smoking cigarettes and eating bon bons.
Homebody’s can be a great type of woman if you enjoy spending time at home as well. Of course, if you are looking for a casual encounter, the fact that they are a homebody isn’t likely to be much of an issue. However, this type of woman can get turned off if she goes to your place and it’s a wreck. This will either turn her off, or she will spend your time together cleaning your place. Unless she’s wearing a maid outfit, that probably isn’t your idea of a good time.
Desperate housewives can be single or married and looking for something on the side. Desperate housewives aren’t necessarily housewives at all. Their defining characteristic is that they have children. To hook up with a housewife for more than one night, you will need to like or at least pretend to like, children. Unless you are in a dating relationship with them, you will probably never meet their children. It’s almost a guarantee they will talk about them, however, so be prepared to at least act interested.
The great thing about these housewives is they are usually starved for sex. So sex on the first date with them will go smoothly. They won’t have a lot of time to go out on dates, and they don’t have time for games. If you want a friends with benefits type relationship, housewives are a great choice. They make great girlfriends as well, provided that you don’t mind dating someone with children.
A people pleaser loves making others happy. She may be inclined to give into sex easily, and once you have her in the sack, she will certainly try to make you happy. This will also be true in other areas. If you want a friends with benefits relationship, she won’t push for more, even if she would like to be more. She is easy going and won’t get angry with you without a very good reason. She’s the type that will do anything to make you smile.
What’s not to love? The only issue with people pleasers is many of them have low self esteem. If you are attracted to extremely confident women, a people pleaser isn’t for you. Other than that, they are great for any type of relationship you want to have with them.
Stalker women are the ones who feel the need to be in constant contact with you. They may come by your work and call or text you constantly. If you don’t answer them promptly, they will get angry. Stalkers aren’t fun to be in any type of relationship with, so if you notice any stalker behavior, your best bet is to cut your losses.
A nymphomaniac woman will want to have sex with you all the time. Lots and lots of hot steamy sex. This type of woman is great for a one night stand or a friends with benefits type of relationship. You may just be that attractive, but chances are the woman that can’t get enough of you has some underlying issue. She may be a sex addict or have a need for lots of attention. This may lead her to seek sex from more than one person. She may also fall into the psycho or stalker categories as you get to know her better as well, so enjoy the sex, but don’t expect it to go any farther.
If you are lucky, you will find a show girl who loves being the center of attention in a fun way. Show girls are exhibitionists. They are easy to spot because they will wear clothing that draws attention to themselves. Usually this clothing will leave little to the imagination. They will also call attention to themselves with their behavior. A fun show girl will be the life of the party, but there is another type of show girl as well.
This type of showgirl loves drama. They create and feed off drama, and they use this to keep the attention on them. Most show girls fall somewhere between these two extremes. Show girls are great for one night stands or casual relationships. If you can deal with their attention getting ways, they may make good girlfriends as well.
Many women these days enjoy being the boss. These women may try to tell you what to do and control you. You don’t want anything beyond a one night stand with this type of woman. However, other women are bossy to an extent, but not so much that it is annoying. You may find a woman who knows what she wants and occasionally puts her foot down sexy. If you do, then you would do well in any sort of relationship with her.
You may also enjoy the thought of “taming” a bossy woman. This can be a fun and challenging ride if you are up to the task. A relationship with a bossy woman won’t be boring. Bossy women may want to be the boss in the bedroom, and this can be very fun for you. If you like a woman who takes control, find a bossy woman. They are easy to identify, because unlike most women they are clear about what they want.
Speaking of challenges, religious women can be an entirely different sort of challenge. You may fantasize about corrupting a religious woman till she is so filled with lust for you that she can’t help herself.
It should be noted that there are two different types of religious women. Those who have a genuine commitment to living differently than the rest of the world, and those that are trying to do the best they can. The first type won’t be swayed by passion, and to have a relationship with her, you will need to be religiously committed as well.
The other type of religious woman goes to church and tries to live a good life. They may be more conservative than the average woman, but they won’t stand out as much as a woman who is very committed to her religion. These women may take a little more time before they are ready to become intimate, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. There are exceptions to this rule, however. Many times these women have lots of pent up sexual frustration, and if you are in the right place at the right time, you may score with them quickly.
You would think that this type of woman would be opposed to sex in anything but a serious relationship, but they have needs just like any other woman. It may take a little longer to get them into the bedroom. They may actually want to know who you are before they sleep with you, but once they do they can be very passionate lovers.
Cougars are older women who like younger men. These women may dress a little young for their age and be found in places like bars with a younger crowd. These women are great to hook up with. They are experienced, mature, and they know what they want. They also know how to please a man, and they won’t be shy about doing so, either.
Cougars are also much more likely to make the first move than other types of women. They are strong and confident, and if you aren’t intimidated by this type of woman, you can have some great times together.
A sugar baby is a girl looking for a sugar daddy. She differs from the high maintenance woman because a sugar baby will go out with you for the purpose of getting money or other perks. Sometimes these women are open about what they are seeking, but many times they aren’t. They are a lot like strippers because they will act like they are interested in you to get what they want. Unlike strippers, there’s a good chance you will get what you want as well.
If a girl starts asking you for money for some reason on the first few dates, never seems to have any money of her own, or constantly expects you to buy her things, she is a sugar baby. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, if you can afford to be a sugar daddy. These women will go out of their way to please you, as long as you pay up. This can make them great for a one night stand or a casual relationship. I wouldn’t suggest trying to seriously date them, because you will never know if they are telling you what you want to hear.
Getting a Date
The first step to getting lucky is to get a date in the first place, and your first step to knowing how to get a date is to know where to look. There are two basic categories here. Online and real life.
Getting a Date Online
I won’t go into specific places to get a date online here, because it is covered extensively in other posts. I will mention a few advantages and disadvantages of finding a date online. One of the biggest advantages of online dating is that the people on the dating site are looking for someone to date. Online profiles are designed so that you can quickly determine the type of relationship someone is looking for before you even talk to them. You can also get an idea of who they are, and whether or not you would be compatible.
Online dating has a few disadvantages as well. You won’t be sure if the person you are talking to is who they are claiming to be until you video chat them or meet them in person. The fake profiles found online can cause you to waste valuable time and effort on someone who isn’t who they claim to be. There’s also quite a bit of competition in online dating. Women are so inundated with messages that they may not respond to you. There’s also the issue of chemistry. You won’t know if you have chemistry with the person that you are talking to in real life until you meet them in person. What can seem like a mutual attraction online can fall flat in the real world.
Getting a Date in the Real World
Online dating has become so popular that meeting and getting a date with a woman in everyday life is becoming a lost art. First, we will take a look at the best places to meet women in your everyday life.
Coffee shops almost always contain at least a few attractive women. Before you approach the woman that’s caught your eye and ask if you can buy her a latte, watch her behavior. Is she staring off into space? Is she watching the people around her, and maybe smiling at you? Does she look open to conversation? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you should approach her.
There are situations when you shouldn’t approach her, however. Is she working busily on her laptop? Does her body language seem closed? These are signs that she is either busy or not in the mood to engage in conversation. Take these signs as cues that it’s not a good time to approach her.
Joining a co-ed sport is a great way to meet women. You will have many opportunities to communicate with them, and gauge their interest. Just remember that this isn’t high school, and hitting a homerun won’t ensure you score. Being a good sport and being helpful are the ways to win over a woman in this situation. However, this isn’t the type of place where you want to hookup with women for one night stands. Unless you plan on stopping the league as soon as you get what you want, keep in mind that you will continue to see the woman you take out at these events.
Grocery stores, clothing stores, even shoe stores can be a great place to meet women. Most women love to be helpful and give advice. They aren’t going to expect to be hit on in the store, so their guard will be down as well. You can take advantage of these things by asking a woman for her advice. It can be help with picking the best cut of meat for dinner, which also gives you the opportunity to mention you will be eating alone. You can ask her which shirt matches your eyes the best. Ask her anything, as long as you seem to sincerely need her advice. The great thing about this move is that you can use it every day on different women if you like, and not have to worry about running into them again if you don’t want to.
If you enjoy art, then an art museum is a great place to meet ladies. This also goes for science and history museums. Choose somewhere that you would genuinely enjoy going, and strike up a conversation with a lovely woman or two. This is another place where women have their guard down, which makes them more approachable.
Doing laundry is one of the most boring and mundane tasks in existence. While this may not seem conducive to romance, the sheer boringness of watching clothes dry will have women itching to strike up a conversation. You can even use a cheesy tongue in cheek pick up line like “come here often”. Start off washing clothes together, and you may be taking them off each other by the time that your laundry is done.
Bars and Restaurants
You can still find and pick up women at bars. If you are into the party girl or showgirl type, you are sure to find plenty of them in a bar. Some of them may even be looking for a night of no strings attached fun. There’s a secret to approaching a woman in a bar, however. You have to remember she’s heard all the lines. She’s jaded, and it will take something different to break the ice and get her attention.
It will take something that is in short supply in the bar scene, honesty and sincerity. This doesn’t mean that you should walk up to a woman and start spilling your life story. A genuine compliment will get you a long way. Find something you really like about her, and go compliment her on it. You’ll know by her reaction if she’s receptive to you or not. If she doesn’t give you the time of day, no harm done. If she does, then you are in for a fun night.
There’s another way to approach a woman in a bar, but it requires being very confident. Simply give her a smile or two. Write your number down on a napkin, and nonchalantly place it on her table. Don’t say anything, just smile at her and walk away. You may even want to leave the bar to add to the sense of mystery. Curiosity will most likely get the best of her, and she will call you.
Restaurants can also be a good place to meet women. Everything from McDonald’s to high end restaurants give you an opportunity to meet women. If you see a woman eating alone that looks a little out of place or lonely, you can be their knight in shining armor. Just introduce yourself and ask if you can sit down, she will most likely be glad to have the company.
The Friend Scene
Here’s the breakdown on how you are most likely to meet a mate. Nearly 30% of couples meet through a mutual friend. 20% found their partner online, and another 20% meet in bars or restaurants. A little more than 30% meet in some aspect of their daily lives, church, hobbies, and work. If you want to increase your odds of scoring the woman of your dreams, or the night, then you shouldn’t discount the friend method.
To take advantage of the friend method, you will need lots of acquaintances. These are people that you know, but don’t consider close friends. This increases your social circle, and allows you to meet new people. The broader your social circle, the greater the chance that you will be introduced to beautiful women. Statistics show that when couples live together, they share about 50% of their friends. That means that the married guy in your office has female friends he can introduce you to. Attending dinners, birthday parties, and even throwing your own parties and inviting these acquaintances and asking them to bring a few friends are all great ways to increase your social circle and increase your odds of meeting a woman you like.
Patience is a Virtue
Even if you are looking for a short term romantic encounter, it may take you a few dates to get there. Instead of pressuring the woman to go to bed with you, you should be very nonchalant about it. Let her know you are interested, but give her the impression that sleeping with her is not one of your life goals. Women are so used to being pursued that when a man doesn’t pursue them the way most do, they will likely pursue you. Remember, however, that many women need a little time to get to know you before they sleep with you, so it may take you a few days to get there no matter what tactic you use.
Approaching Women and Getting a Date
Now that you know the type of woman you are looking for and where you can find them, let’s look at how to approach them and get them to go out with you.
First, walk up to them and introduce yourself. Feel free to tell them they seem interesting or that you would kick yourself for a week if you didn’t go talk to them. You can also give them a compliment, or ask their advice. The key here is to get them talking and feeling the friendly vibe that you are giving off. If you give them a compliment, find something special about them. It could be their fashion sense, a handmade item, or the way they have fixed their hair. Compliment them on something that they don’t hear about from every other guy everywhere, and it will go a long way with them.
When it comes to actually asking for their number, you may be better off asking for their email. We are all used to giving out our email address, and women will give it more freely than their phone number. Of course, you can always tell them they are welcome to give you their number as well once they are writing their email address. You can also ask them if they have a business card. If they say they don’t have one, pull a piece of paper and a pen from your pocket and ask them to make one for you. If you have business cards, you can say, “Here, you can use mine.” Be sure to always have a pen and paper handy when you are hoping to meet a woman. “I don’t have a pen” is a sure fire way to not get her contact information. The other option is to put it in your smart phone, but you are less likely to get her phone number this way. Bottom line, carry a pen at all times.
The next pitfall when approaching a woman is talking to much. One common mistake is to ask her out on a date as soon as you get her information. This is a good way to get shot down. It makes you look desperate or like you are just looking for an easy lay. The other common mistake is to keep talking after you get her information. This seems harmless, but when a woman first meets you, she will use any excuse to write you off. Get her info, and then leave. Tell her you have to do… something. This shows her that you aren’t at her feet like a lost puppy, and that you actually have a life.
90% of communication is nonverbal, and women are more likely to give non verbal cues than men. To keep yourself from being rejected or looking foolish, you will need to understand the unspoken language of body language. Understanding body language can help you with everything from your initial approach to crossing the finish line.
Women flirt through body language. If you catch a woman looking at you, she’s probably interested. If she smiles or seems shy when you make eye contact, she’s definitely interested. She may also lean in your direction and fidget by playing with their hair or jewelry. Her hands and legs will usually be open, but she may seem unsure where to put her hands. If her hands look oddly placed, it’s a sign that she’s thinking about your hands on her.
Of course, the opposite is also true. If she pretends she doesn’t see you when you make eye contact and suddenly seems preoccupied, she is either very shy or not interested. If she turns slightly away from you with her arms and legs crossed, this means that she isn’t interested in being approached.
If a woman desires you physically, it isn’t hard to tell if you are paying attention. Her heart rate will increase. Her cheeks may be flushed, and she will breathe more deeply. She may look for any excuse to touch you or brush against you. She will have an erect posture with her breasts and butt slightly stuck out. Her walk will have a little extra sway in it. She may “accidentally” drop something or lean in to talk to you, giving you a nice view of her chest. These are signs that she is ready for physical contact and probably sex with you.
If a woman is unsure about you or simply shy, they will give you mixed signals. She may touch you and then pull back. She may make eye contact and then look away. The best way to handle this type of situation is to take things slow. If you don’t want to put the work and time into winning her over, simply move on.
Practice Makes Perfect
The best way to become an expert at reading body language is simply to be a people watcher. Watch women interact with other people. Watch their body language and facial expressions in different situations, and you will soon become fluent in body language. Just don’t stare at them like a crazy stalker.
Many people say workplace dating is completely off limits. Many offices even have policies against dating coworkers, but every year many employees break the rules and end up sleeping together. Whether or not you should do this depends on several factors.
First, if you are just looking for a hookup, you could end up with a bad reputation in your office when it gets out. Of course, you may actually become more popular if you attain “player” status. This will depend on the culture of your specific office. If your workplace prohibits dating between coworkers, it isn’t worth risking your job for cheap sex.
Second, consider what the long term effects will be. Is she the type to make you life difficult if things don’t work out the way she would like them to? Will you have to work closely with her after the fact? If your workplace is large enough that you don’t see each other very often, it will be a lot less awkward than if you are close to them every day.
If you are looking for a long term relationship, it may be worth taking the risk. Just move slowly and keep in mind that you can’t just block this person from Facebook and be done with them. If you find someone who genuinely wants a friends with benefits type relationship with you, it may be worth the risk as well.
It should be said that some very successful couples met when working together. Barack and Michelle Obama and Bill and Melinda Gates met at their offices, and it certainly worked for them. It’s probably best to keep the romance, whatever type it is, between the two of you until you decide that you want to be in a lasting, serious relationship with each other. If you aren’t interested in that, keeping it to yourselves can help head off problems. However, you may find it hard to be completely professional at work with someone that you sleep with.
Many times you will meet beautiful women while they are working. This is especially true in any service industry. This includes hotel staff, waitresses, housekeepers, cashiers, and bartenders among others. These women are usually friendly, and you may get the impression that they are interested in you. Keep in mind, however, that part of their job is to be nice to you. It can be difficult to distinguish between them being friendly as part of their job and genuine interest.
If you do decide to take a chance, you should understand that they are busy. They won’t have a lot of time to chat with you, and this is the worst possible time to ask them out on a date. Just write your name and number down and give it to them. Let them know they can call you when they have the time. This keeps them from feeling pressured because they are supposed to be nice to you, and it keeps you from taking up too much of their time. If they call, great. If they don’t there are plenty of other women in the sea.
How to Ask a Girl For a Date
The first rule of asking a girl out on a date is don’t wait too long. Contact her the day you get her information or the next day. If she doesn’t think you are interested, she will move on in her mind, and then it’s too late. You don’t want your first communication with her to be “Would you like go go on a date with me?” Get to know her a little first. Chat with her for a day or two before you ask her out. Let her know you are interested in getting to know her, and your chances of success will be much higher.
When you do ask her out, ask her something specific. You should already have a general idea of what she enjoys doing, so use this knowledge to suggest something that would be fun for her. Here are a few examples. “You said you like seafood. Would you like to go to dinner at (local seafood restaurant)?” “ You mentioned you are athletic and/or you enjoy nature. Would you like to go on a hike at (insert hiking area)?” The (insert local bar) is having a karaoke night on (insert day). I have a great singing voice after a few drinks (tongue in cheek humor). What about you?”
Being specific has a few advantages. First, if she knows where you are going she will be more comfortable and more willing to say yes. Second, this is something she enjoys doing, so she’s thinking of enjoyable experiences she’s had doing it before, which also makes her more likely to say yes.
Deciding Where to Go
Deciding where to go on your date will affect the chances of her saying yes as well as how well the date goes. Movies are generally a bad idea for a first date, because it doesn’t offer you the chance to get to know each other. If you are looking for a physical relationship, it’s possible to make it work, but your odds are better taking her somewhere else. Here are some great places to go for your first date.
Drinks at a Bar
It may be cliche, but it’s casual and low pressure. The atmosphere and alcohol also tend to loosen you and your date up a bit. This is a good place for any first date, but if you are searching for a one night stand or a casual hook up, this is your best bet. The casualness of the date should keep her from taking things too seriously. To ask a girl out for this date, say “ Would you like to grab a drink at (local bar) this evening?” Keep it casual and confident.
Bowling, Pool, or Mini Golf
These are all fun date ideas that offer you an excuse to touch your date. You can show her how to get a strike, make a tricky pool shot, or how to putt in mini golf. Having an activity to do will help you bond and feel more comfortable around each other. You also avoid any awkward silences that you can have on other types of first dates. If you aren’t extremely confident with your conversation skills, this is your best option.
Dinner is a romantic first date idea. Be sure to pick your restaurant well. Choose a casual dining restaurant. Nothing too fancy, but absolutely no fast food either. Taking her through the McDonald’s drive through does not count as a date. The exception here is if you are going on a picnic. Then Subway is acceptable.
A picnic can be a fun first date. You will probably want to take her to a park or a public hiking area so she doesn’t feel like you are trying to get her into the middle of nowhere to take advantage of her. A nice picnic and a walk where you can enjoy the beauty of nature is romantic, and it gives you the opportunity to get to know each other better. It also gives you the opportunity to look into each other’s eyes, hold hands, and steal a kiss. If she is the adventurous type, you could take her to the lake. This gives you the opportunity to see her in a swimsuit, and a kiss in the water is incredibly sexy.
Cook For Her
If you can cook, invite her to your place for dinner. If you can’t cook, you can always pick something up from a restaurant and put it in your dishes, so it looks like you cooked it. Before you do, you should be sure that she is comfortable enough with you to meet you at your home. This is one of the best ways to score on the first date. If a woman comes to your place on the first date, she feels comfortable being alone with you, and deep down she is probably interested in seeing your bedroom. However, if you just want a one night stand, she doesn’t need to know where you live.
The Keys to Getting Her Into Bed
There are a few key things that will get you lucky and get sex on the first date. If you don’t pay attention to these, chances are you won’t get very far.
Take care with your appearance. Women notice little things. Dress appropriately for the date, and never over or under dress. If you are going on an adventurous/outdoor date, you should wear something that you are comfortable in but looks good on you. Blue jeans and a tshrt are fine, as long as they are clean and fit you well. For other dates, a button up shirt or polo and blue jeans and khakis are generally suitable. You should also make sure that you are well groomed. Clean your nails, shave your stubble, and comb your hair. Lastly, be sure that your shoes are clean. Women notice shoes.
You should also take care with how you smell. To a woman, this is just as important as how you look. The right smell can instantly turn a woman on. The wrong smell can instantly turn them off. Choose a good cologne or body spray, and be sure it’s age appropriate. Nothing will turn a girl of faster than you smelling like her Dad. Don’t go overboard with it either, you don’t want to smell like a perfume store. It should go without saying, but make sure you shower, brush your teeth, and wear deodorant.
Now that your physical appearance is in order, let’s move on to confidence. You want to come off as confident, but not cocky or intimidating. If she doesn’t feel safe around you, say goodbye to having sex on the first date. Make eye contact with her, but don’t stare at her to the point it becomes awkward. Keep your posture open and keep a confident stance. Consider how much space you are taking up. If you are taking up a small amount of space, then you need to open it up. Do not talk about your exes or all the things the two of you can do in the future. These things will make you look desperate. Ask her questions. Show an interest in who she is. Let her know you are interested in her personality instead of her body. This is a huge turn on for women. Do not mention sex. Don’t come on to her. Hold her hand or accidentally brush against her, but don’t take it farther than that. When a woman isn’t sure if you want to sleep with her, she will likely pursue you.
End The Date
Be the one to call it a night. That’s right. Not only are you not going to try to sleep with her, you are going to be the one to end the date. Say something along the lines of “You are probably getting tired. Why don’t we call it a night.” This keeps you in control of the situation, and gets her thinking “Wow. He really doesn’t want to sleep with me.” Then you give her a goodnight kiss. Be sure your kisses are great. A good kiss will make a woman melt, and make her want more. If your kissing skills are substandard, as a female friend that you trust to give you some pointers. She may be dying to tell you what you are doing wrong. Walk her to her car or door. She will most likely invite you to her place or invite you in.
Closing the Deal
You are in her home or in a hotel room. You are at the goal line. Scoring is a sure thing, as long as you don’t fumble the ball. The key here is to start slow. Lots of kissing and touching. You’ll know when the time comes to make a big move. Depending on how assertive she is, she may make it for you.
Do not take her back to your place if you intend to have a one night stand under any circumstances. Go to her place or rent a hotel room. You don’t want an awkward morning after because she doesn’t know when to leave. You also don’t want her to know where you live in case she’s the crazy stalker type who will show up at your house without an invitation.
Heading Off Problems
Even with these tactics, you are bound to run into some issues at some point. Here’s some of the most common obstacles you will run into, and how to solve them.
The Good Girl Complex
Women believe that men see girls as being in one of two categories. Those wild and fun girls they want to bang, and the ladies that they want to marry. If you want to go to bed with a girl on the first date, she needs to know that you won’t think less of her. You can bluntly say that you understand women have needs just like men, and you don’t think it’s fair that there’s a double standard. You can also be more subtle, and say that you admire a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it. You can also define your relationship as sexual instead of romantic, but how this will go over really depends on the woman, so use your own discretion in doing so. One advantage of being blunt is that you can weed out the girls who are at a point in their life where they are looking for a serious relationship and aren’t likely to put out on the first date. There are more subtle ways to find out how sexually open a girl is. Ask her if she likes Fifty Shades of Gray. If her face turns red, then she’s conservative. If she says she’s read it or saw the movie, she’s fairly adventurous and wants you to know it. If she says she hasn’t seen it or read it, but she thought it sounded interesting, go for it. If she has no clue what you are talking about, she’s probably living under a rock or doesn’t own a t.v.
I Don’t Know You
This is why you go on a first date. To get to know each other. You don’t have to tell her your life story, but make sure she knows enough about who you are to be comfortable getting naked with you. As we discussed earlier, you should make an effort to get to know her as well.
I Like You Too Much
If you have a great date, the girl may genuinely like you too much to want to sleep with you on the first date. In this case, tell her that it’s ok, you can just be friends. Tell her you want to have a mutual irresistible attraction to a girl before you sleep with her, and if it isn’t there, you are better off as friends. Most of the time, she will begin backtracking if she thinks she’ll never get to sleep with you.
Have a good date, but not too good. If you seem like you would be the perfect boyfriend, she may not put out for fear of ruining her chances with you. In this situation, it’s better to be clear about your intentions. If you want to date her romantically, it’s best to be patient. Tell her you are ok with waiting, but it wouldn’t change how you look at her if you did go to bed together. If you just want a casual relationship, you don’t have anything to lose by letting her know.
Here are some other tips to help you break down a girl’s resistance and get what you want.
Play Hard To Get
If she seems like the type to play hard to get, you play the card first. If she says she will come to your place or let you come to hers after your date, she wants something to happen. After she says she wants to be alone with you, say “Just so you know, I won’t sleep with you tonight.” Most women won’t be alone with you in an intimate setting without some intention of being intimate with you. When you say you won’t sleep with them, that means they have to work to get what they want. However, if you don’t think she will give you much resistance, this line could hurt more than it helps.
Does No Mean Yes
Guys have to walk a fine line between understanding when no means yes, when no means no, and when no means you just need to try harder first. Here’s the thing. If no really means no as in no way it’s not happening tonight, she will let you know. Her body language will be closed and her expression will be serious. If she says no while touching you or putting her hands down your pants, that is a yes. If she says no but doesn’t make you stop touching her, that means keep going, just take things slowly.
Even when a girl wants to sleep with you, she doesn’t want to seem like she intends to sleep with you. When you ask her to go somewhere more intimate, like one of your homes or a hotel room, give her a reason. Ask her if she wants to watch a movie, play a board game, or help you with something. Anything that gives her a reason to be there without sleeping with you, so that when it does happen, she can act like she just accidentally slept with you.
Make It Her Fault
Tell her you don’t normally do sex on the first date, but she’s so sexy you just can’t help yourself. When you are kissing or touching, get really into it. Then pull back. Tell her she’s driving you crazy. That much more of this will have you ripping her clothes off and carrying her to bed like a caveman. You can even go as far as to say that no woman has ever had this strong of an effect on you before. Make her feel like a seductress, and she will find you irresistible.
Don’t Push To Hard
Having sex on the first date for the first time is like a dance. There will be some steps forward and some steps back. That’s part of what makes it exciting. If she senses you getting frustrated or feels pressured into having sex with you, she will shut you down. She wants you to pursue her, but she also wants to feel like it’s ok for her to say no.
Tell Her You Want To Cook Her Breakfast
Telling a woman you would like to cook her breakfast lets her know you will still be there when she wakes up. If you just want a one night stand, don’t do this. If you want a casual or serious relationship, then by all means bring her breakfast in bed. Letting her know you will still be there in the morning lets her know that you interested in more than a one night booty call, which takes away the worry you’ll never talk to her again.
Sleep With Her
If you don’t seem to be getting as far as you want, ask her if you can simply sleep together, as in actually sleep. Tell her it’s been awhile since you’ve gotten to go to sleep holding a beautiful woman. Once you get her into bed, things will usually naturally escalate into sex at some point.
So that’s it for the man’s guide to getting sex on the first date.