Are You A Passive Dater?

Are You A Passive Dater?

Being a passive dater is when you sit back and wait for love to arrive. Accepting that love should not be forced or organised in any way. I to believe that your dates should be a natural progression but there are problems with this approach.

Do you find yourself holding back? As soon as anyone finds an interest in you, you dive headfirst into love with them regardless of their compatibility to you?

The problem with passive dating is that you will date far less… and the person you will end up with will very likely not be compatible for you. Just because someone is attracted to you does not mean they are interesting, funny, secure or have any of your interests.

While you sit back thinking… it will all work out.

Others are actively searching for singles that share similar passions and hobbies.

You end up a year older with a couple of weird desperate singles that you have dates with. You might be slightly attracted to them just because you love the fact that they are so into you but you know deep down that it’s not going anywhere…

Man, depressing right?

This is what a passive dater is and you don’t want to be one.

So we have established you could be a passive dater…
You may not give a shit whether your passive or not but if you do: heres how to transition from a passive to an active dater.

Active –> Passive Dating Transition

To successfully transition you are first going to need to determine who you get along with best.

You will need to have a good idea of the kind of personality type you have.

You might already know your personality well depending on your age, but here are a few tools:

You can even try
http://www.gotohoroscope.com/compatibility.html

By understanding who you are and who you get on with best you can start to craft a good dating profile that screens for “dreamy girls” or “analytical and serious girls”.

In order to move from being a passive to an active dater you need to learn how to write a good profile.
Here is an example:


Hey my name is…

I live in… and you should live within 80 miles of my home www.maps.google.com

I am looking for someone aged between x and y

Single and Never Married with NO children

I am looking for someone who is not religious

Marriage and kids should be an option in the future

Other than that I am open to a fun loving relationship

With this profile you are going to reduce your response rate by a large amount… but this is a good thing!

You will receive those singles that you are actually looking for! Feel free to add/remove filters or make it more positive.

Here is exactly what NOT to do if you are a guy looking to find women online.

If your profile is anything like this (it won’t be…i hope) you need to change it fast.


Hey Im dave
Im getting really desperate so I thought I would try online dating… I don’t have a job at the moment but I’m trying. I am looking for a beautiful blond women who is 6 feet 1” or so slim and funny. They have to love sport and cars too.
You can email me any time as I’m online all the time playing video games at home.

Man I cringe when I read that… come on dave!
It’s ok to be honest but you need to sell yourself.

The next step in becoming an active dater is to get out of the house and get social!
Find new friends ( with similar interests ) women are never far away.

Active dating requires you to get out their and be more of YOU. Not to fake it and try to act like you are someone else.

Be realistic about your dates. You will need to play the numbers game a little bit, fail a few times.

Relax when you are dating – the best dates go smoothly because the two of you just get it. The date should not seem forced in any way.

Successful dates are simple dates – but they are full of laughter and a little flirting.

To summarize:
Moving from being a passive to an active dater requires you to:

Assess your qualities and understand yourself better

If real life dating scares you then:

Learn the art of online dating and profile creation

Get out of the house and get connected with local groups of singles.

Be realistic about your dating endeavours

Play the numbers game and be persistent

Smile and have fun

Being an active dater means living life! It will come naturally to you the more you do it