Ask PL: Returning To The Dating Game After A Breakup

PLPL Reader Questions:

I get emails all the time from readers asking certain questions regarding dating women or using dating sites. Many of them are to self explanatory or already talked about in posts at some length within the site but occasionally there is an insightful and interesting question that is worth responding to in more detail.

WILL ASKED:

Hey PL

I have finally gotten over an ex and am ready to date again… But seem to have either lost my mojo or lost my touch. What’s the best way to get back into the dating game? I am trying to ease in and have actually played around with a free dating site but I’m not sure if I really want to commit and use the site properly.

Feeling your pain right now… would love to know how old you are so I’ll go ahead and guess your anywhere between 20-30, forgive me if I’m way out.
Dude losing your mojo in your 20’s has gotta hurt big time! I am assuming you mean your sexual drive or just your dating game in general. Not to worry though! This happens all the time and you will find it’l come around with a bit of subtle persuasion.

After being in a long relationship it is VERY easy to become a WUSSY. In fact your girlfriend might well have left you as a result of you becoming a wuss. As weird as it may seem she was unknowingly turning you into a sissy with all of those movie nights and nights in with some home baking or whatever you did. There is nothing wrong with either of them but long periods of being with the same girl throughout your 20’s can actually change your personality.

So embrace the fact that you are now out of the relationship and enjoy being a man for awhile. Go out with the guys, play some sport or exercise regularly, eat well and take up a new hobby that you left behind years ago.

Doing masculine activities you enjoy will help to bring back the love of life and reignite that fire in your belly.

More importantly it will get you used to being independent again. The one problem I see with men who are with girls for long periods of time is that they tend to become dependent on them emotionally.

Your independent nature may have been the big turn on for women BEFORE you got together. During the relationship you lost something that was important to you and important in your ability to attract women. You need to get back to whatever that was.

Did you stop playing sport? Did you give up on an important hobby or task? Get your masculinity back by simply living life again in an active manner. It should come back naturally…

As for committing to the dating site: I depends on your motivations to get back into a relationship and how long you were together for.

If you really want to find a women again and it’s been awhile since you dated then there are a ton of tips on this site regarding how to maximise your chances online.

If you just came out of the breakup then I would suggest easing off and giving yourself a break from women. Women can be great fun and amazing companions but sometimes you need time to find yourself.

Perhaps you need to work on:

Independence

Confidence

Masculinity

You indicated that you weren’t too sure if you were ready to commit to using dating sites properly… Learn to trust your “gut” or intuition.

You will be surprised how accurate it can be. You will know when the time is right to return to your profile and really give it a good shot.

I envisage that you have not yet uploaded a real picture of yourself yet?

It come down to being certain of what you want (another big attraction trigger)
So give yourself some time, get out there and live life. Get to know some interesting people via mutual interests. You will find that women will become attracted to you without you even trying once you return to your “source”.