- Learn to let go and just have fun
- Learn to make fun of yourself and it be ok
- Putting effort in… what you put in is what you get out right?
I bet you have heard people say this over and over again… You know it’s right… you know you should learn to relax… but it just doesn’t FEEL right.
This should come natural?
Am I actually holding myself back with some sort of resistance to having fun in the presence of attractive girls?
Everyone want’s to be around people that are having FUN. You see women mirror emotion – if your not emitting the right emotion (anxiety and fear) they are going to get weirded out. All she can do is reflect the emotions that you are feeling.
So rather than focus on everything else around you that you CANT control… focus on your energy levels and happiness. Of course their comes a time where you must self regulate based on how she responds. You might need to lower your level based on her personality but make sure you go in happy.
This post is really for those guys that are low energy laid back kind of guys. Rather than going to a amped up club where everyone is drunk pick your location and choose a chilled out classy bar. But even if you show up here it’s still important that you smile and exude a happy joking personality.
See… when someone is out – their not interested in serious work talk. They have been doing that all week and they want someone to make them laugh and relax. Everyone is looking for that great laugh or exiting story. You don’t need to be over the top just come out of your work bubble and show your true personality. Remove some of your filters and act like their is nobody in the room that your trying to impress. The reason why this is attractive is that it makes people feel relaxed around you. They then associate feeling relaxed and open to conversation when around you which is the reason they came in the first place. They don’t require a beer to feel relaxed… just go talk to the guy that seems incredibly sure of himself and laid back.
This doesn’t have to be used for picking up and influencing women – you should use it at work and at home to. I get that some guys are just naturally low energy. It’s not that you don’t get enthusiastic… you just don’t outwardly portray it as much as the next guy.
This is ok – embrace your personality… This can actually HELP you attract women. You see women are attracted to guys that seem to be unaffected by their flirtatious charms. If you can leverage your personality in this sense you make it work in your favor.
There are some obvious downsides to not having the enthusiasm that other guys have – you like being around enthusiasm because it’s infectious and fun right? When your in the presence of an enthusiastic women or man it’s hard for you to rise to their level and really influence anyone. You always seem to be the downer in the group.
Well you don’t need to match them – be yourself – but make sure that the things you do say really make an impact. You can be the funniest guy in the room and only say a few words. Make your words count when you get the chance to talk. Your smooth charming and relaxed attitude can be a welcomed change in conversation pace or a drag… in the end you decide how you want to perceive your personality.
One glaring issue with coming in low energy is that it’s hard to match up with anyone’s conversation style. When your always talking in monotones and not enthusiastic about your conversation topic… how can you expect her to be exited about you?
Allow me to guess something about your life and your personalty:
If you resonated with anything I have said here then you will also agree with this – you have a select few hobbies that you could talk for HOURS about (everyone does)… but these conversation topics get you really exited and it’s one of the few times you do get really animated. You couldn’t care less about boring idle chit chat because you just don’t see the point… to you it’s just to much effort for no end result. But when someone asks you about your hobby or area of interest it’s all on.
There are also a couple of people in your life that you get on REALLY WELL with. You are a completely different person around these people and you are VERY animated.
I would suggest that rather than trying to match high energy people and change your natural personality direction… Find more people like the ones I mentioned earlier. Spend time with the people that really “get” you. Focus on the conversation topics that you like talking about… Those topics that you know are really worth talking about.