BBW Dating

“Dating a Fat Chick” “BBW Desire” “Chubby Chasing” “Feeders”, For the uninitiated these terms can be confusing. Girls come in all shapes and sizes. On one end of the spectrum are rail-thin models in desperate need of a subway sandwich. On the other end are land whales who require a forklift to turn over in bed. Exaggeration aside, however, there are many women out there who do not fit the typical traits that society deems desirable. One of these traits specifies that women should stay within their natural body mass index. As a famous pick-up artist bluntly describes it, “Diss fatties, bang hotties.”

But maybe you’re the kind of guy who actually desires women who are packing a lot more heat. In fact, the term “fattie” may strike you as downright degrading. If someone were to ask you to describe your ideal type, you might say that you’re looking for a big and beautiful woman. If this description fits you, then congratulations, there’s an entire universe out there of attractive, good-looking, and downright smoking hot babes who don’t shy away from the dinner table.

What is a BBW?

As mentioned above, BBW is an acronym for a Big Beautiful Woman. Other terms such as “plus-size” may be used, but many girls find these labels offensive. BBW is usually your safest bet if you want to get started on the right foot.

Who qualifies as a BBW?

A woman is generally considered a BBW if she is above the upper limit of the standard body mass index (BMI) for her age and height.

However, this is just a guideline and does not necessarily relate to all cases. For example, the BBW tag is still applicable to some girls because of certain aspects of their figure – such as wide hips, thick thighs, or voluptuous breasts – even if they are within the average body mass index. Because most men obviously cannot tell what a woman’s BMI is unless they’ve seen her on a weighing scale, classifying someone as a BBW is usually done on a subjective, at-a-glance basis.

How do I know if I am a BBW lover?

This is a much more difficult question to answer, because as the poets like to say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just because you are attracted to a particular woman who happens to be a BBW doesn’t mean you have attraction for BBWs as a whole. There is, however, a certain defining characteristic of a BBW lover that separates him from other men: a BBW lover’s arousal generally rises in proportion to the woman’s weight; in other words, the more overweight the woman, the more attracted he is.

In a study performed by Viren Swami and Martin J. Tovee, a group of fat admirers was tested against a control group of average guys. Both groups were asked to rate the attractiveness of ten women from 0 to 9, where 0 meant no attraction and 9 meant full on sexual arousal. The women ranged from both extremes of the BMI, which meant that there was a good mix of anorexic girls, normal-weight girls, and obese girls.

The result showed that the control group’s peak levels of attraction were reserved for those women who were within the normal BMI. Interestingly, though, the fat admirer group’s peak levels of attraction were not only focused on those women who were overweight, but markedly so. In fact, the fatter the woman, the more aroused they seemed to be.

In summary, you know you are a BBW lover when your motto is “the bigger they are, the harder I get”.

Are there any examples of hot BBWS?

Although this is by no means a comprehensive list, the following are good examples of BBWs who made it big (pun intended):

  • Oprah Winfrey
  • Chloe Marshall
  • Adele
  • Katya Zharkova
  • Rosie O’Donnell
  • Robyn Lawley
  • Queen Latifah
  • Mia Amber Davis
  • Serena Williams
  • Jessica Simpson

Please note that many of these women have gained or lost weight at various points of their lives, some due to pregnancy, so they may no longer be considered a BBW depending on the timeframe.

I’m thinking about dating a BBW

Now that you’ve decided to take the plunge into the exciting world of BBWs, it’s important to understand from the get-go that there is a core essence of femininity that lives inside every woman, regardless of genetics or culture. What this means is that the same attraction mechanisms that stimulate a teenage waitress in Japan also work on a middle-aged housewife in South Africa. This key point must be understood, because many guys who are successful with a particular type of woman often become meek or aggressive when confronted with a girl that they are not used to; they think that they have to modify their usual approach to fit her needs.

Similarly, if you’ve always been dating thin girls, you might be afraid that big women won’t respond to your usual charm. This is an unfounded fear. Just because someone weighs a few extra pounds doesn’t mean she’s a different creature altogether. The same dating style employed on thin girls should work just fine on a BBW.

With that said, however, some special things need to be considered.

BBWs and their insecurities

If we were to be completely honest, heavier women have a much harder time getting through their day than skinnier women. A lot of these girls have had a painful history of bullying and name calling. Many are told that they are sexually unattractive. They are also aware that society doesn’t consider being overweight as a stimulating trait. All this negative feedback can batter the ego, and unless the BBW you are interested in is particularly high in self-esteem, chances are she’s shy and sensitive to criticisms.

This means that approaching a BBW requires a more thoughtful and understanding frame of mind than usual. If she’s used to being treated as a sideshow freak, she may respond to your flirtatious advances with suspicion and caution, thinking it’s some kind of cruel joke. It is important to distinguish between terrible dating skills on your part versus self-consciousness on the woman’s part. Sometimes, it could be the latter. If this is the case, being non-judgmental and avoiding any comments that might be misconstrued as an insult will get them to open up faster. Above all, do not try to be cute by dishing out your best “Yo mama’s so fat” joke. While slender girls might appreciate the humor, a BBW would likely respond with either tears or a fist to the face.

Coming out of the BBW closet

On the other hand, sometimes it’s guys who get nervous when approaching a BBW. Because of the rampant advertising and social conditioning that place slim girls on a pedestal, a man who is attracted to a BBW might think he’s less of an alpha male for wanting to date heavier women. Because of this, he will often ask out a BBW in the same manner that a Mossad spy might deliver a package: eyes darting sideways, palms sweaty, voice low and secretive, cyanide pill at the ready. This is hardly engaging stuff. A BBW will immediately recognize that you are attracted to her but do not have the balls to be seen with her in public. This is a huge turn-off.

The cure to this problem is to recognize that a BBW is already conscious about her weight. She does not need your own insecurities to add to her anxiety. What she does need from you is the acknowledgement that you find her so attractive that you are willing to brave the turbulent waters of a cruel public just to be with her. Rather than a timid boy who is nervous about someone catching him with his hand in the cookie jar, she’ll find a confident man who’s fine with treating her as a prized catch under the painful scrutiny of his peers. Taking this a step further, do not be embarrassed to show her off to your friends and family. This will not only be highly appealing to the BBW, but it will speak volumes about your personal character, and what woman would refuse a man with a solid sense of integrity?

A BBW is not your personal sculpture

We all want to be like Michelangelo, but keep your artistic endeavors to clay and paint; a BBW does not want to be molded into the perfect woman. Some men may approach a BBW with the thought of giving her practical advice on how to become the next top model. They may even go the extra mile and buy her a gym membership or cook for her healthy meals.

Even if this is done in the spirit of charity, a BBW will not respond kindly to any overt attempts at getting them to lose weight. They’ve thought about exercising before, and if they really wanted to shed some pounds, they would have done so already. For reasons only known to them, they are choosing to stay as they are, and it is frankly none of your business. If you are interested in approaching a BBW with the hidden agenda of turning her into your pet project, then don’t even bother.

There are, however, valid reasons why you should be concerned. Despite what the advocates of health at every size might pontificate, a varied amount of illnesses are scientifically associated with obesity. From heart disease to joint problems to stroke, the risks get more and more severe the heavier a person weighs. If you are someone who is genuinely bothered by this, there is no easy way to tell a BBW to trim the fat without treading on her self-esteem. The best method is always to lead by example. Without pestering the BBW, you yourself can demonstrate to her an exemplary lifestyle of proper fitness and diet. Eventually, when she is willing, she will come to you for help without you having to guilt-trip her into doing so. What is true in martial arts applies to exercise as well: when the student is ready, the master will appear.

Of course, if the BBW does lose weight and becomes one of the slender girls, then your attraction for her might disappear as well. It’s a double-edged sword that you may want to ruminate on.

Advice on date locations

When taking a BBW out on a date, it’s important to plan ahead. All the activities that slender women enjoy apply to BBWs as well, but there are some considerations that should be taken into account. For example, while a day at the beach is relaxing and rejuvenating for thin people, a BBW might be nervous about having to wear a bikini in public. Likewise, a romantic, candlelight dinner at a fancy French restaurant is a no-brainer when dating lean girls, but a BBW might be afraid that the petite furniture would collapse under her large girth.

The guiding principle is this: put yourself in her shoes. If you were overweight, which places and settings would make you feel uncomfortable? Once you’ve answered this question, skip those venues and settle for another spot with less tension.

Talk about anything except food

You might assume, quite naturally, that a BBW’s favorite topic is food. After all, if someone is overweight, then they must love food, right? True, but eating food is not the same thing as talking about food. If you fill the whole night’s conversation with regaling stories about that scrumptious giant turkey dinner that you and your family had at Thanksgiving, or about that roasted chicken that you’d kill your own grandmother for just to have a bite, your date would find you insensitive. A BBW’s life does not revolve around cooking and cuisine, and no matter how much you might be tempted to do otherwise, steer the discussion towards safer topics such as family, vacations, sports, hobbies, etc. Heck, even politics and religion are much better choices. Just pretend that food doesn’t even exist.

The only exception to this rule is if she brings up the subject of food herself. If that’s the case, then go ahead. But still, be very cautious: it might be a test to find out if you’re socially acute enough to see her as a mature women rather than the eighth wonder of the world who gobbles everything in sight. Do not get overenthusiastic. Stick to casual remarks about nutrition and move on quickly.

Making love to a BBW

Now comes the fun part: tossing around in the sack with a BBW. If you’re a healthy man, this is probably the moment that excites you the most. After all, it’s one thing to admire a BBW from a distance, but it’s another thing entirely to fondle and play with her rolls of flab. Take care not to jump right in, though, because three things need to be thought through:

  1. It might not go in. Seriously. Because of the padding around her thighs, butt, and belly, most men realize that it takes some effort to push aside the excess fat and find the sweet spot. Unfortunately, if you’re one of the fellows who is born with a small package, you might have a really hard time penetrating her deep enough. The best way to deal with this complication is with a dose of good-natured humor (yes, it is funny when you think about it) so that both of you don’t feel like you’ve let the other down. You also need to find the position that would best facilitate the coitus process.
  2. Some positions are impossible. Speaking of position, there are certain sex styles and techniques that just won’t work with a BBW. As much as you want to experiment with the Kama Sutra, the extra weight will make it a logistical nightmare. Again, the best way to deal with this is by making light of the situation to remove any feelings of pressure, and to be patient until you find the arrangement that’s right for both of you.
  3. Keep your fetish to yourself. Finally, you need to remind yourself that women do not want to be viewed as objects to satisfy perverse cravings. If you have any personal fat fetishes, keep it private. The reason why pornography is so addicting is that it sells a fantasy; the vast majority of women do not behave like pornstars in bed. The same goes for a BBW. If you’re expecting her to do certain things that you’ve seen on the dark side of the Internet, you can forget about being summoned for a second date (other than a court summons).

Where can I find BBWs?

There’s a BBW in every town, city, and country where you live! Just walk up to one on the street and engage her in good conversation. If you prefer to go the digital route, however, these websites might help you get started:

Conclusion

BBW dating is a thriving subculture that is catching on in the world today. If you’re someone who thinks there’s something wrong with you for wanting to go out with fat girls, then it’s time to realize that you’re not the only one experiencing this kind of attraction. People are finally breaking out of the stereotypical models and are going full speed ahead with the girl that they want to date, regardless of society’s approval.

Besides, life is too short to worry about what others think. If a BBW is going to make you happy, then by all means, take a page from Joseph Campbell and follow your bliss!

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