Breaking up is hard to do…

She was so harsh that day
She never explained to me why she left
It all seemed so sudden
I was ill prepared
I should have seen the signs that she no longer loved me
It’s not you it’s me is not a good enough explanation
She left me to pick up the pieces.. It’s like she doesn’t care
The toughest thing to deal with is the complete lack of explanation on her part as to what went wrong… and you take her not being able to describe her change of heart for her not caring…
I know she cared but when you don’t hear from your ex for weeks after so suddenly (you were with them every day and now they are gone) you start to doubt their integrity..
I felt used and abused… She took such good years from me. I felt like I sacrificed much of myself to make her happy and she leaves when it suits… emotions of anger and resentment well up as a result.
It seemed like she dealt with the break up with such ease… If she handled it so easily did she ever even give a dam about the relationship?
I did feel the relationship sort of slipping away and felt like I was the only one interested in rebuilding it. It seemed like she had made up her mind to leave and she was just being a cold vacant bitch to accelerate the process. Like she never had the guts to break up so she was just being so nasty to force me to do it for her.
The most annoying thing was that she isn’t even that much of a catch… Not particularly attractive, forming a tyre around the waist, was never really interested in health and fitness. Not interested in increasing the financial stability of her situation.
I feel that I will neve be able to let her go… Like there is a part of my heart.. Soul whatever you want to call it that has been permanently taken by her in the 5+ crucial years of our young lives… She continues on in life, seemingly dealing with everything fine.
I am to… it just seems such an odd thing to have to deal with every day… Just hoping these feelings of sadness and anger will abate in time. Songs movies and situations still bring back such fond memories…
How does one really deal with emotions that they do not understand. All of the cliché ex back and relationship advice in the world cant really help you. It has to come from within.
A chat with a really good mate about similar situations is about all you have got and then it’s up to you to let them go… If it takes leaving to another city then perhaps that is what you have to do.
That saying breaking up is hard to do really is true…
And this particular break-up is the hardest… It was one that had to be forced apart… the love was not destroyed by infidelity or fighting but mutual understanding that we were moving apart. This sort of break up tears at you and you doubt whether it as a good idea to go though with it.
I cant blame her in the end… Because when I look back on it she was different… in a good way but she was different… And what I have not accepted quite yet was that I was the one to say let’s breakup. What I am angry about was how happy she seemed that I finally let her know what had to happen. I didn’t want to leave – I wanted us to be able to get on better together. If she seemed so relieved that we were now both single why did she not take the burden on herself…
So selfish.
The reality is that it literally is a break up. You break some imaginary part of yourself in the process of leaving them for someone else and have to rebuild whatever is left. No wonder we did not want to face the reality of what had to happen…
Just the thought of seeing another man with her immediately brings emotions of anger and jealousy to the forefront of my consciousness.
I think for guys it’s more the physical sexual interaction they will have with someone else rather than love.. For women it must be the opposite.
You feel as though you have a need to protect them and that makes the process of letting go that much harder…
I feel as though this stems from our evolutionary past…
As men we worked hard to protect the women of the tribe and through either buying or fighting we ignorantly earnt some sort or right to their trust and love for as long as we needed.
The present day social set up is MUCH different and women quite rightly have the choice to leave whenever they want irrespective of how they feel and how supportive the man has been.
This places MUCH anxiety and strips much certainty from the minds of the modern man. Will she stay with me? What if I go broke tomorrow and can no longer provide?
It’s like the relationship changed slightly and all of a sudden things weren’t perfect… Well relationships are not supposed to be perfect…
Marriage is far from perfect – you have to sacrifice and deal with another personality but what you get back is so much better.
I know I will find someone infinitely better for me – someone able to give more emotionally and express themselves better. Someone who actually knows what they want.
But in the end I cant help admitting that…
Breaking up is hard to do…

If you think that it is to hard – this post could help


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