Casual dating usually involves very little “strings” attached. Meaning that their are no possessive emotions and expectations that you will stick around in the future.
Casual dating is very much associated with casual sex: Singles can find other singles that are interested in a casual sexual relationships online more efficiently than ever before in human history.
The Positives of Casual Dating
– the obvious benefit to casual sex is the short term enjoyment of sex itself. Even though the enjoyment is fleeting and anticlimactic there is still a lot to be said for the physical enjoyment it brings.
The physical pleasure you feel will have a lot to do with which partner you are with… they could show you pleasures that you never knew existed.
Dating a sexually adventurous women or man can open your eyes to new worlds.
Meeting new people
– Not often talked about but a very important part of casual dating is the social side… Everyone has witnessed the fall of a guy who has been stuck in a relationship for 5 years.
He soon loses his mojo and will to better himself – the couple get stuck in a rut and end up watching movies at home rather than getting out and meeting new people. The sexual drive is a great motivator for meeting and socializing with others.
Your social skills and communication skills with the opposite sex are greatly improved
Experimentation and liberation
– Casual dating and casual sex can be extremely liberating especially for women! The realisation that they are admired, loved and respected by so many guys gives them much needed confidence.
This is also true for guys! The realisation that women DO actually want to have sex with us and admire our bodies just like we do theirs spurs us on to greater self development.
– You will eventually find a women that is more sexually adventurous and sexually experienced that you. The thought that many other guys have been with her is too much for some guys to take… That’s cool!
It’s very normal and it means that you value being selectively ignorant to some things, if this is the case stick with the innocent girls or women that have perhaps only had a couple of sexual partners (each to their own)…
Most guys would love to find a women that knows how to take control and show them a thing or two in the bedroom. As a result of casual dating your sexual skills will be improved so that you can give more pleasure to the one you really love in the future.
– Casual dating adds MUCH to your list of life experiences… everyone is different and the personalities that you will encounter during your casual dating years will shape your own personality and view of life.
The wider range of personalities you meet during your life the more complex a personality you will create for yourself and perhaps even a greater understanding and appreciation of others.
The Negatives Of Casual Dating
Risk of attachment
– This is really what most women fear – the idea that they cannot take control of their own emotions and will get attached to a guy.
In doing so each time they have to leave a dating partner it’s like breaking up with a boyfriend… I think we all know how much that sucks.
The more time you spend with them outside the bedroom the stronger the bond will be. OPEN and HONEST communication about your intentions is vital for casual sexual relationships to work.
– The reality is that you are trusting your most private self to another person. If you have met them online you may not know much about them at all.
It’s understandable that you will be suspicious about their real intentions and anxious to find out what their real personality is like. Online dating safety is something that you should take VERY seriously.
Even if you think you can trust a girl or a guy because you have chatted to them online – ALWAYS meet in a public setting.
– This follows on from dating safety – the more sex you have the greater the chance of waking up with something REAL NASTY… Fingers crossed… or just cover up!!!
– Your innocence and naivety could be lost – once again this is not something that too many people think about, OR VALUE… but your innocence is very attractive.
Once you see too much (death destruction drugs) something about you changes – that life essence and vitality in your eyes takes on a different sheen and you become less attractive.
But this all depends on how people take the trauma – some become wise beyond their years and other become scared and heavily affected.
Some girls get taken advantage of during casual sex and don’t say NO when it comes to something they don’t want to do… Make sure you know what your getting into and know when to say no.
You risk missing the point of sex
– Sex could become boring for you and so you seek more and more sexual exploration to get the same pleasure. You might start joining alternative sexual communities such as alt or bdsm and from their things can get pretty crazy.
As a result you find it hard to settle down with one person! Everyone wants to be with a “soulmate” that will complete their lives.
If you are involved with too much casual dating you run the risk of not being able to fully commit to anyone because of the risk of getting hurt or simply through disinterest.
What Casual Relationship means to a Guy?
We all want something else out of life. We have different personal goals we want to accomplish and experiences we want to experience.
The same is with relationships. There are times in life when you have everything sorted out. Your finances, health, and work are sorted out and you feel like you are finally ready to be in a committed relationship.
Other times you are so preoccupied with your goals and your mission that you barely find the time to relax a little bit or even meet your friends.
As a guy, being on your mission, taking action and accomplishing things is your main priority. Sometimes, you really don’t have the time or the energy to start dating someone more seriously.
In those times casual dating seems like a perfect solution for your ignored love life.
But why are some guys loving casual relationships
so much and what do they mean to them?
More freedom and free time for other projects
If you are a busy professional or your business is taking up a majority of your free time, it’s hard to find the time and energy to develop and maintain a healthy relationship.
But all of us need human contact, fun, and sex. Casual relationships give you just that if you find the right partner. It’s fairer, to be honest at the beginning and inform the other side of your busy and hectic lifestyle. Maybe they are in the similar situation and your proposition will feel right to them.
Casual dating will make your life easy and you will be able to enjoy your time together without serious expectations while spending less money, energy and time. A win-win situation for both parties.
Sex and fun without commitment
If you have recently gone through a divorce or a bad breakup, then you are definitely not ready for another serious relationship.
After a breakup, we need time to heal our emotional wounds and in such a state we are not the best suitable candidate for something more meaningful.
But we are humans after all and we crave human connection and companionship.In such circumstances, something more easy going and casual could be just what we need.
Or maybe you are already seeing somebody for some time. you don’t mind spending time together and there certainly is some strong sexual attraction between the two of you, but you know that you wouldn’t be a suitable match for something more long-term.
With proper expectations set, good communication and the right person, casual dating could suit all your needs.
Real committed relationships require time for obligations which maybe you don’t even want to do. Such as meeting your girlfriend’s parents for lunch, going out with your girlfriend’s social circle or even planning for some future events you don’t want to attend.
The casual relationship enables you to enjoy the fun stuff. Sex and good times without all the hassle that goes with committed relationship.
No pressure way to form something more meaningful.
When we talk about casual relationships, it is implied that they are reserved for guys only, and that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Many girls today feel the same way about committed serious relationships. They are also busy with their work, school, and other projects, and committed relationship is the last thing on their mind.
Don’t forget the fact that technology has enabled girls to be in contact with 20 guys at once if that is what they want. They can take their pick and be in a relationship tomorrow if they wish.
But not all girls want something serious. They also want to experience their freedom and have a taste of something new and exciting.
And when girls have so much choice in guys, they have the option to see different personality types and choose the ones who are the most attractive to her. Fun and sexy guys who don’t pressure her into something serious the minute they get her number will get her attention faster than some needy and serious guy.
Over time, as you keep seeing each other without pressure, you will meet the other person better and find out are you compatible for something more serious. It will happen completely naturally, without pressure and that’s how every relationship should form.
Slow and natural, without any pressure and expectations.
Casual is easier than the real thing
Real committed relationships require time, money, energy, unlimited patience, and understanding. You will have to spend time together and work on the relationship to keep the spark alive.
Casual relationships are a perfect solution for someone who is lazier in that way. You leave out all those boring stuff out and spend your free time on having fun and sex.
Where to Find a Partner for a Casual Relationship?
So, now you are reading this and thinking to yourself…Yeah, casual dating seems fun and definitely something that I want to try, but where do I find a partner who also prefers casual over serious?
Luckily for you, we live in a time when you can find somebody with the same interests as you in a blink of an eye using online dating apps and dating sites.
There are a lot of options to choose from, but some dating sites and apps are geared more towards casual dating, while others are used more for finding serious relationships.
For casual dating your best bets are sites and apps like:
- Adult Hookups
- Adult Friend Finder
- POF (Plenty of Fish)
Online dating is very practical and it can give you the fastest results.
Most of them are free and in a matter of minutes, you can have your account. Fill out your profile and state exactly what is it that you are looking for in terms of relationships. That way your intentions will be clear and you will save a lot of time by avoiding women who don’t meet your criteria.
And be sure that there are a lot of women who are looking for the same things as you. You just have to find them.
If you are confident enough to approach women in bars and clubs and directly state your intentions without the fear of rejection, you can try that route. You will spend more energy and time, but clubs and bars are designed for people to mingle and hook up.
When you are searching for a casual sex partner, make sure that you choose someone who is sexually attractive to you. After all casual dating is based on sex, not some esoteric qualities that you want in your long term partner. It is not important that the both of you love classical music, but it is important that you love the way your partner makes you feel.
Also, some women are best to avoid if you want casual arrangement.
Women who are too clingy could cause problems such as constant texting and calling. You chose casual dating in the first place to avoid such relationship behaviors.
Women who work with you should also be avoided unless you are sure that you can handle it. Just think about what could happen if your casual relationship ends badly? -in the worst case scenario, it could cost you your job and your reputation. Something to consider.
The same goes with women in your immediate surroundings, like your closest neighbors and women in your closest social circle.
Casual relationships have an expiration date and in most cases one side always gets hurt. That’s why it’ best to avoid casual dating with women you are seeing daily, especially at your work.
How to Start a Casual Sex Relationship?
Casual relationships start the same way as any other relationship. You meet the girl you find sexually attractive and invite her on a date. The first date doesn’t have to be anything fancy. The simpler, the better. You want to avoid dates that have relationship vibe.
So a few drinks at some quiet bar or a lounge where you can talk and get to know each other should be just fine.
Now, depending on the way you two have met, you could be more direct or a bit more subtle. If you two have met on a dating site, she has probably read your profile and she knows exactly what are you looking for.
In that situation, you can talk more openly about what is it that you two want from that arrangement.
After all, she knows what you are looking for and she agreed to come and meet you for drinks.
It both cases it is best to always be honest about your intentions. -that way you will lose some women, but it’s probably for the best. You will save yourself the hassle of dealing with somebody else’s hurt feelings.
In the beginning, it is best to set boundaries for your casual arrangement.
Avoid doing relationship stuff with your casual partner. That means no constant texting and long phone conversations. No seeing each other more than twice a week. Preferably once.
Always try to set boundaries through your actions. Actions speak louder than words. For example, if you don’t want to go on a dinner date with your casual partner, then simply decline, Don’t bother with long explanations. She will get the hint.
At the end of the week, when the two of you finally meet, you should have fun and hook up. Without any unnecessary drama and complications.
Casual Dating Rules
If you have decided that you want to give casual dating a try and keep it fun and relaxed without dealing with all the intense emotions and feelings, you will need to follow some rules.
These rules will help to keep you in check and not end up in a real relationship if that is not your goal.
By following a few simple rules your casual fling may last longer than you’ve expected.
Become comfortable with the idea that you are not the top priority- or even the only one
Your casual relationship will look something like this: It’s Saturday night and you are out on the town with your boys drinking and partying. At the end of the evening you are horny and in need of some good company, so naturally, you send your fling a text and arrange a hangout.
Expect the same from her and be ready for some late night booty calls. After all, this is expected in a casual relationship.
And don’t for a second think that you are the only one she is seeing currently. Jealousy doesn’t have its place in “casual”.
You know when you meet a new girl that you really like, and in the beginning, it’s only passionate animalistic sex. But then after some time, emotions take over and you two cuddle all the time like it’s an Olympic sport. You cuddle after sex, before sex, in the morning and in the afternoon. Yeah, avoid that as much as possible. It’s tempting and looks fun, but it’s the fastest way to end your casual fling or set the wrong expectations.
Pillow talk should also be minimized as much as possible. Leave all that talk about your feelings, future plans, and dreams for your real relationship. Casual means short and fun, not serious and long term.
Don’t spend money on your casual fling
It’s hard-wired into a man DNA to court the woman he is trying to have a serious relationship with. We want to show her that we have everything under control and that she is safe with us. We can take care of her and provide for her.
In casual dating that could be a big mistake. If you keep spending money on her, she will get the wrong impression that you are courting her. And that will change the way she behaves towards you. It screams serious relationship.
So if you can, pay separately when and if the two of you go out on a date.
Don’t introduce her to your friends and family
Your casual relationship started as something fun and easy for just the two of you. If you want to keep it that way better avoid introducing your fling to your family and social circle.
They will ask a lot of questions and sometimes the whole situation could be very awkward for the girl if she values herself.
The same goes for her friends and family. Keep it casual and don’t bring a lot of people into your arrangement. It will be the best for the both of you.
Minimize boring texting chit-chat
Don’t fall into a trap and start texting all the time with your fling. It gives an impression that you don’t have anything important to do, looks needy and clingy and gives a heavy relationship vibe.
It’s easy to sink into that pattern- you send each other text about your day, your plans, and other stupid stuff. All of that screams relationship.
Instead, keep the convo between the two of you short and humorous. Stay in touch 2-3 times a week and then organize a schedule for your next hangout. Simple as that, no need to complicate it.
Stay in the game -keep meeting other people
The point of casual relationships is to give you more free time and more freedom. you entered one in the first place because you wasn’t ready for something more serious and long-term.
If you are committed to finding the “one” that is more compatible with you for real relationship, you have to keep meeting new girls all the time. That way you are maximizing your chances of finding her.
If you keep seeing only your fling and having sex only with her, there is a big possibility of you falling in love because the sex is so good.
We humans are very lazy in nature. and when you have a steady source of sex, easily available and practical, it can make you lazy and comfortable, and give you a wrong idea to settle with this girl.
Also when you are not clingy and you actually have your own life, friends, and hobbies, you are a more interesting person. It could help you to prolong the lifetime of your casual relationship.
Casual and jealous don’t mix well together
The casual relationship represents freedom, fun, laughter, good times and positive emotions.
Keep it that way and don’t let emotions of jealousy take over.
If you are okay with being casual, prepare yourself mentally and expect that your partner is seeing other people besides you.
It’s the name of the game.
Keep it short and fun
Casual relationships begin with the expiration date. Typically you can expect them to last somewhere from a few weeks to 3-4 months tops.
When it gets boring and stale, it’s better to call it quits and start from the start with someone new then to cling to a relationship and ruin everything.
Be respectful of your partner and be thankful for all the nice memories and good times you two shared together. You never know when you will meet again. Sometimes when you least expect it.
Don’t make it more than it is
If you two have decided together to have a casual relationship from the beginning, it is always best to keep it and treat it that way.
It’s easy to start thinking: what if? …when you start to spend more time together. Maybe your arrangement will lead to something more serious down the line..the time will tell.
But, until then it is best to keep it fun and relaxed. That way, even if you want something more serious down the line, by keeping it low pressure and relaxed, you stand a much better chance.
Types of Casual Relationships
It’s always best to avoid putting labels on things, especially relationships. By putting labels on them we put unnecessary limits on them and prevent them from evolving naturally into something more.
However, not all relationships follow the same rules. it’s good to know their basic characteristics and your options when it comes to them.
Open Relationships are very similar to long-term committed relationships. They are based on trust, intimacy, connection, sex, and friendship, but they are not monogamous. That implies that both parties can date and have sex with other people. If you want to even consider an open relationship, you must know that there is no room for jealousy, insecurity and trust issues in them.
Friends with benefits are similar to casual dating because they involve sex and social aspects sometimes. Commitment is not in the rules book. The thing with friends with benefits arrangement is that the sex is assumed at the end of the night.
Fuck buddies relationships are based strictly on sex without any kind of emotional attachment. They can involve friendship but it’s not necessary. They usually happen in secret and require discretion because they are not socially acceptable.
One night stands– The name says it all. You meet someone and you have sex the same night with intention of never meeting them again. They can be fun but sometimes dangerous for your health.
Casual Dating Problems You Could Encounter
On the surface, casual relationships may seem fun and easy, but sometimes they are not. After all two persons are involved. Both of them have their own feelings, dreams, and goals.
No matter how smooth everything may seem, you could encounter some of these problems.
- STD’s- If you have an arrangement like an open relationship, where you are free to meet, date, and have sex with other people, there is a great possibility that you will catch something over time. Always be cautious and take care of your health. Use condoms and minimize the risk of unwanted std’s and worst of all pregnancy with the wrong woman.
- As times passes and you two keep seeing each other, there is a great chance that you will become comfortable and lazy. Who needs to go out to bars, clubs, and dates when you have a sure and easy thing with your casual partner. But, there is your problem. Easy sex can pull you in a false feeling of comfort, and you could even settle in a committed relationship with the wrong person.
- Jealousy and insecurity- No matter how tough and cold you think you are if you don’t follow the rules of the game you could catch feeling sooner than you think. Jealousy is a very ugly emotion and it could ruin your casual arrangement pretty fast. Prepare yourself for that situation and learn how to control your jealousy and feeling of insecurity. Otherwise, casual dating is not for you.
- Choosing the wrong person for a casual fling. – Choose carefully before deciding to start something casual with somebody new. You never know who yu are dealing with. You can’t meet someone and expect to know them immediately. Over time you will have a glimpse of their real personality and nature. If you recognize signs of an unstable individual, it would be better to finish that arrangement sooner than later. The last thing you want to see is your car scratched from side to side or your reputation ruined because of some unstable person that couldn’t control his/her emotions. Always take care of yourself.
- Loneliness and lack of deeper intimacy.- This is another possible problem of casual relationships. Don’t get me wrong, you can be lonely even in a committed relationship or marriage, but casual dating doesn’t provide you with that deep and intimate connection that committed relationship provides. When you become lonely and bored of casual sex, then maybe it’s time for you to consider finding someone for something more serious.
From Casual Dating to a Committed Relationship?
Is it possible? Well, it can happen if you leave the relationship to progress naturally and without forcing issues of commitment.
You see, casual relationships have one positive side to them that they start very sexual and very fast. That means that the relationship between you and your partner is based on mutual sexual attraction. And sexual attraction is one of the most important elements of every long-term committed relationship.
Sex is like a glue that holds partners together.
Over time, as things progress without pressure, you will get to know your partner much better. You will see their positive and negative sides and character traits. That way you will be in a much better position to decide if the two of you are really compatible with something more serious and long-term.
If it happens, great. If not, it wasn’t in the rules, to begin with, so no hard feelings.
The majority of casual flings finish when one person in a relationship catches feelings and starts to expect something that wasn’t in the rules.
But, if the two of you keep things casual and easy, without the unnecessary pressure, it could develop naturally into something beautiful. But to make that possible you will have to be very open-minded and non-judgmental person.
So, in conclusion, we can see that casual dating is not for everyone. It requires that you are an open-minded and non-judgmental person, not afraid to experience something new and out of your comfort zone.
Casual dating will be a hard test for your feelings of jealousy and insecurity, but at the same time, it will enable you to experience sex, companionship, and intimacy while leaving you more free time for your other life missions and projects.
If you have never tried it, try it. After all, you live only once. They can even progress and grow into something more long-term if you really hit it off with the other person.
Today, casual dating is not a taboo anymore and more and more people are enjoying the benefits of it. Best of all, you can find somebody very fast by using online dating.