You hear it in the news :Mother of 2 caught cheating” and wonder… why would she? I thought only men cheat! Lets find out why wives cheat.
Cheating is as old as the idea of monogomous relationships, but it is not the taboo subject that it used to be. The free love philosophy of the 60’s ushered in a new era of liberation for women, including in their sex lives. Women were finally free to express themselves sexually and to enjoy sex as much as men did. Today’s woman expects the same level of sexual satisfaction as man, and some are willing to go out of their primary relationship to get it. Here is your insider’s guide with everything you have always wanted to know about wives who cheat.
Why women Cheat
Loneliness is one of the top reasons women cheat. Women have stronger emotional needs than men, and if those needs aren’t being met in their marriage, they may seek the attention they need somewhere else. When women cheat out of loneliness, many times it starts out as an innocent friendship, and then progresses into an affair.
To Feel Wanted or Attractive
Sometimes women cheat because they don’t feel attractive any more. Their husband doesn’t make them feel sexy. When someone comes along that let’s them know they are attracted to them, it makes them feel sexy and attractive again. This need to feel wanted can drive the woman to have an affair with the man.
Unhappiness With Their Relationship
Women are much more likely than men to cheat because they are unhappy in their relationship. 34% of women who cheat are happy in their marriage. Men are almost twice as likely to be happy with their marriage and cheat on their partner. Some women aren’t just looking for an affair, they are looking for a relationship to replace the one they have.
Some women cheat as a way to get back at their husbands. Most of the time this is because the man had an affair, but not always. However, when a woman seeks this type of revenge it is because of a very deep hurt or betrayl. When a woman cheats to get revenge she wants to hurt her partner in a deep and personal way. Many times when a woman cheats for revenge she will either allow her husband to catch her or tell him outright.
Sexual Needs Not Being Met
Women aren’t as likely as men to cheat just for the sex, but it does happen. Whether it is lack of sex altogether or lack of good sex, some women cheat simply because their sexual needs aren’t being met. When a woman cheats for this reason she will likely seek out one night stands or a friends with benefits arrangement instead of a more romantic affair.
Having sex with the same person year after year can get boring. When a woman is bored with the sex in their marriage, they may seek more exciting partners. There is an excitement that comes with having sex with someone new, and fear of getting caught or knowing they shouldn’t only serves to add to the excitement.
Some women find themselves addicted to sex. Just like someone addicted to drugs or gambling, they feel such a compulsion to fulfill their desire they will do so at a great cost to themselves and those they love. Sexual addiction takes different forms for different people. Some will masturbate many times a day or excessively watch pornography. Some may engage in phone or online sex. Others feel the need to have sex several times a day or to continually have sex with different partners for sexual gratification.
These are the top reasons women have affairs. There are different types of affairs, however, and not all of them involve physically engaging in sex.
The Four Types of Cheating
Lust affairs are about the sex. They tend to be either one night stands, or the type where the participants feel an incredible amount of sexual attraction to each other that lead them to sleep together. These affairs tend to burn white hot, but fizzle out quickly as the newness of the sex wears off.
The In Your Head Affair
This type of affair is all about fantasy. The person fantasizes about a specific person and has sex with them “in their head”. Text, cyber, and phone sex fall into this category, and some consider pornography to fall into this category as well. While sexual fantasies are healthy in general, fantasizing about a specific person can lead to a physical affair.
Some experts consider emotional affairs to be more detrimental to a marriage than a physical one. In an emotional affair the woman is getting her emotional needs met by someone other than her husband as opposed to physical needs. She may consider the other person a “friend”, but they are taking the place of the husband on a very intimate level emotionally. Many times emotional affairs lead to the most detrimental affair for marriages, the “I Love You Affair”.
I Love You Affair
This is the type of affair most likely to destroy the existing marriage. In this affair there is an emotional and physical intimacy and attraction. The parties involved begin to “love” each other. Whether they are actually in love or just in love with the way the relationship makes them feel depends on the specific relationship. Some women will leave their current husband to be with their lover in these types of relationships. Other women may stay in the marriage, but have a long term affair with the other person. In this type of affair, it is just a matter of time before someone, if not everyone, gets their heart broken.
The Types of Women Most Likely to Cheat
There are certain types of women that are much more likely to cheat on their spouse than others. If you are wondering where your wife comes in, just keep reading.
Lots of Male Friends
A woman isn’t necessarily a cheater if she has a lot of male friends, but it is more likely. One reason is simply opportunity. When a woman is friends with a man, there is always a chance of it turning into something more. Some women have male friends because they enjoy getting attention from guys, and this makes it much more likely she will take that attention to the next level.
Friends Who Cheat
There is more at work here than simple peer pressure. When someone is cheating, they tend to romanticize the extramarital relationship. If a woman’s friends cheat, they will probably tell her how fun and exciting it is. It also makes it much easier for the woman to believe that it is ok or acceptable to do so.
If a woman values money over love, she is likely to cheat or leave her spouse for someone who will spend more money on her or can better provide for her financially. This type of woman may equate getting nice things with being loved, or she may simply crave financial security. Surprisingly, this is more commonly seen in women that grew up poor than those that grew up being financially well off.
This type of woman loves doing things that get her adrenaline pumping. While being married to a woman who loves driving fast or riding rollercoasters may be fun, having a wife that seeks the thrill of an extramarital affair isn’t. The type of woman likely to cheat for the thrill of it probably won’t mind doing things that are perceived as morally wrong or even illegal just for the excitement. This type of woman may also be likely to cheat with someone inappropriate even by cheating standards, like the spouse’s close friend or family member because this will give them even more of a thrill.
Many women who cheat do so to get back at their spouse. Women who have been cheated on by previous partners are also more likely to cheat. It may seem like a “normal” thing to them, or they may do it to keep from being too emotionally dependent on their partner out of a fear of intimacy.
A woman with any type of addiction is more likely to use sex as a means of escape from her problems. Addiction is usually a form of escape from the real world, so they may use sex as a substitute for or in addition to their addiction, or they may be sex addicts.
Low Self Esteem
A woman with low self esteem will need constant affirmation that she is good enough from her partner. She will need a lot of attention and compliments to feel good about herself. If she doesn’t receive enough of this from her partner, she may find it outside of her marriage.
High Sex Drive
On average men have a higher sex drive than women, but this varies greatly from individual to individual. If the woman has a higher sex drive than her husband, she may cheat to satisfy her sexual needs.
Many Sexual Partners
Women who have had many sexual partners may be more likely to cheat because they have a higher standard for “good sex” than women with less experience. Women with promiscuous pasts may not take sex as seriously as women who have only had a few partners, and see having sex with someone new as not being that big of a deal.
How to Prevent Infidelity
There are some steps you can take to prevent your marriage from being just another statistic. Of course you can’t control your spouse’s behavior, but most women ( over 70% ) won’t cheat if they are fairly happy with their relationship. Here are the top things you can do to keep your relationship strong and keep your wife from being unfaithful.
Show Them You Care
This is the most important thing that you can do to keep your wife from being unfaithful. Let her know you appreciate her. Compliment her, and let her know that you still find her attractive.
Take Care of Your Appearance
When you have been married a long time, it can be easy to stop worrying about your appearance, but taking care of yourself shows your spouse that you are willing to make an effort to be attractive for her.
You and your spouse should be able to talk about anything, including sex. Having open communication in your relationship makes it possible for your spouse to let you know if you are not meeting her needs, whether they are physical or emotional. If you can communicate about issues you have in your relationship, you can fix them before they become the sort of problems that would lead your wife into infidelity.
Treat your spouse the way you want to be treated. This means if you don’t want her hiding things from you, you should be completely honest with her. It also means being open about your relationships with other women. If you have female friends or coworkers, give her access to any emails, texts, and social media messages where you communicate with them. Don’t give her any reason to suspect that you are having an affair, or that you have anything to hide.
Stay Involved With Her Friends
You and your spouse should do things as a couple, but it is also a good idea to spend some time with friends as a couple. Spending time with each others friends as a couple makes it harder to keep secrets from each other.
So now you know (almost) everything there is to know about wives who cheat. All this information can have the downside of inducing paranoia, however, so try to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt unless you have a valid reason not to.
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