Cougars. What cougar originally pertains to are a species of the feline family, quite big and native in the Northern and South America. Puma concolor is the binomial / scientific name for cougars. But no, not anymore. Femme fatale might actually be a closer translation to what it means now. Contemporary slang created a completely different meaning to the word. One Google search and the Urban Dictionary meaning comes first, trumping its scientific definition from Wikipedia.
Cougar. /n/ An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity — particularly the true hotties — as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.
Given this quite graphic and maybe even misogynistic Urban Dictionary definition, one has to ask, what qualifies as a cougar? Is there a definitive mathematical equation as to what makes a woman a cougar? Apparently, it takes more than just age to become categorized as a cougar.
Identifying the Rare Cougar
In a humorous and satirical feature in Wikihow, the criteria to classify cougars were provided. According to this, cougars are women aged 40 and above, and in some cases, can even be as young as 35.
A thread in Yelp and a Reddit discussion where people discussed and spawned different descriptions regarding the maths involved in determining a woman’s cougar-ness. To make this even more complicated, other feline families got thrown in the conversation – pumas, mountain lions, and sabretooth tigers apparently are also terms to describe the level of maturity of the cougar. A forum in Plenty of Fish and articles in Ask Men and Bust weighs in on the differences too.
Just for the sake of making things a bit clearer – we can define cougars as women who are past the prime child-bearing age of 25-35.
Cougar implies a certain sense of being predatory in nature – that these women are desperate to get their french-manicured claws into a prey. Thus the qualifier, that a cougar must be interested, or even thirsty for younger men (10 years younger or more).
Given the feline implication of the term, one might even imagine a cougar wearing an animal print dress, tight like a second skin, and for some reason, Jennifer Coolidge is the image that pops into mind with this description. But really, it doesn’t matter what the woman is wearing.
So we’ve come to the conclusion that the only qualifications to be a full-fledged cougar (and whatever sub-cougar segment) are age and fondness for at least 10 years younger guys.
The Rise of Cougars
Biologically, men tend to be attracted to younger women – on a solely Darwinian point of view, choosing a younger woman comes with the subconscious assumption that she can get pregnant and bear the man’s children for a longer time (e.g. a 20-year-old woman have 20 fertile years ahead of her, a 30-year-old, only has half of it, and further at 35 a quarter of the child-bearing years left).
This point of view is quite medieval, though. Women are no longer mere housewives, homemakers, and caregivers who have no use if not fertile or pregnant. Together with women’s suffrage, education, and women’s rights, women were able to spread their wings and become more participatory members of society, contributing their skills, knowledge, and earnings to build communities.
Women now pursue further studies and create flourishing careers – things that take 4 years in the minimum, putting marriage and baby-making in the backseat of their priorities,
Women’s financial capability because of higher education and specialized skills allowed them to pursue their lives as they feel, not tied to what society expects of them, or men who perceive female bodies as nothing but vessels to continue their bloodline.
Developments in science also allowed women to take care of themselves better. Wellness, fitness, skin care and cosmetic surgery are mega-industries worth billions cashing in on women who want to remain youthful. Women also get to choose when would be the best time to experience motherhood through Oocyte cryopreservation or freezing of egg cells – so that time is ticking shtick – it ain’t gonna work anymore.
With science and finance on their side, women are now able to live the life only men used to live before – a vibrant one that allows for so much potential and is not tied to some metaphorical time bomb.
Rapidly increasing divorce rates also makes women reconsider getting married so young. Dawning realizations of how Baby Boomers and Gen Xers end up divorced make the millennials iffy about relationships and the concept of forever. It is the same divorce rates as well that turn their woman casualties into newly-singled ladies back to the dating market, looking for youngblood.
For some reason, the words pussy, feline and the acts of meowing and purring are associated with women – feisty women. So when you’re too old to just be a kitty kat, you get promoted to the reputable rank of a cougar.
Given that it is against biology for men to get attracted to someone older, what is it about cougars that turn younger men on? With the points raised above, we get an idea that women’s attractiveness has expanded outside of youth, perkiness of bosoms and width of the hips, and has been redefined to include independence, success, financial stability, fitness, and renewed youthfulness – all thanks to facials, contouring, make up and even surgery.
First things first, we must stare reality in the face and admit that women aged 35 and above are looking younger now. Their focus to remain youthful – not as a matter of mere vanity – but because of health, made them even fitter than 18 year-olds and 20 year-olds because they are more deliberate in maintaining their youthfulness and health. They’re past the boozing and night-out stage and they know better than to sleep with full-eye-makeup on. Take JLo for example, she is wayyy hotter than any up and coming teen queen out there.
Independence became an attractive quality the same time gold-diggers start emerging and making men feel like nothing but bank balances. Independent women have jobs and money. Which means guys won’t need to spend as much for dates. They can pay for that dinner, that hotel and so much more. It also means they have cars and their own places that are quite convenient for late night booty calls. An older woman can bring you on an all-expense-paid vacation to St. Barts or Bahamas. Meanwhile, younger 20-ish women are riding the subway and sharing a room with her friend from high school, juggling 2 jobs to pay the bills – so a wild and loud sexcapade or a romantic vacation isn’t really gonna happen until that student loan has been taken cared of.
Cougars are confident. Older women might still have insecurities, but they’re less self-conscious, they don’t blow it out of proportion and make it the center of their lives. Flaws are what makes her unique, not a point off the perfection scale. Her confidence oozes as a product of life experiences that makes her think that she doesn’t really give a f*%$. Even if it means making love with the lights on.
Which brings us to… older women goes after what she wants – whether it is buying herself expensive things, traveling in the most exotic spots or initiating a conversation with a hot 20-something Latino she spotted in a bar. Younger women are timid, inexperienced and are still caught up in ‘the chase’ (i.e. boy makes first move) to do the first move.
A 24-year-old will have about 8 years of sexual history, a 35-year-old has about 18. So it just follows that the level of sexual experience of an older woman is quite expansive. Further, male sexuality peaks in their 20s, while women’s peak at their 30s – so it is really like a match made in heaven. Young men are adventurous and creative in bed, wanting to try every position, every kink known to man. An older woman has the confidence and sex drive to give him just what he wants.
Bordering on going full dominatrix, older women know what they want in bed and are confident to be vocal about it, and have all that sexual experience under her belt. Softer, harder, deeper – whatever she wants, she’ll say – and what she’ll tell you, she’ll get.
Intelligence. All those life stories, cubs – or young men just can’t wait to hear sage wisdom from a woman who’ve experienced and gone through a lot. That is at least 10 years worth of lessons young men are still yet to face made concise and created into a crash course so you don’t do the same mistakes. This is quite different from the usual conversation expected from 20-something girls who are going through the same things. An older woman has so much to teach a younger man from life lessons to sex positions.
Older women become exceptionally sexy because (usually) they don’t expect commitment, and just want some fun. Maturity becomes sexy the moment a young man realizes that all that marriage stuff his same-age girlfriend is looking forward to is too much for him. Twenty-something women are waiting for a proposal, a wedding and a happy ever after. Twenty-something men – they just wanna get laid. These older women – they could be just out of a bad divorce and are not keen on anything serious. A cougar’s independence and confidence make relationships a lot less strenuous. It is more relaxed and tends to be drama free, in some cases they’re just in for the sex – if anything, these younger men, can just be her toys. How much more aligned could life principles be? It’s a win-win.
Biologically, by age 40 and above, women are already in their menopause. Pregnancies stresses young couples, and can even shatter young love. In these current times when men would rather enjoy life, bachelorhood and the fruits of his labor, men aged below 30 are not so comfortable with the idea of pregnancies and fatherhood. When a guy is in a relationship with an older woman pregnancy scares, condoms and withdrawal are no longer hindering them from enjoying full orgasmic sexual sessions.
Spot A Cougar
Now that we know all of these. One may I ask how can I find me this extraordinary feline companion? Your critical first step would be to familiarize with these mature women – how they think, how they live, their interests, their priorities, etc.
Not all cougars are the same. Just as women are never the same. There are those who go all-out dom, playing with their boy toys. Think of Kim Cattrall’s role as Samantha Jones. That’s one type, the real thirsty, predatory type who wants sex… All.The.Time.
Then, there are others who are more maternal and nurturing, simply looking for someone to cuddle with – maybe even potentially worth imagining a future with.
There’s also some who play somewhere in between those polar roles.
Some cougars are already financially established provided that they’ve already successfully tackled their careers during their younger years. They may be found in larger metropolitan areas. Business districts, arts districts – rarely in the suburbs. Maybe you can spot one in a coffee shop or shopping in high-end boutiques.
Unless she came from a divorce, or was widowed, and is living with her kids – she will be living in the suburbs, doing all those mommy things she does – which includes grocery shopping and attending soccer games. You can certainly frequent these places, buy yourself some chips and beer – or watch your little brother or nephew in their games.
Older women are drawn to different things. Being part of an interest group, or doing hobbies are one way to meet them. Just make sure that your interest for the activities you’ll be joining are genuine. Cougars don’t have time for fake, pretentious men.
As was provided earlier, cougars like to pay attention to their health and wellness, so the odds of meeting one in yoga or pilates class, or in a gym, fitness club or bootcamp, or a spa are also likely.
You can likewise meet one smack in the middle of your job. If you’re working for sales or public relations for commodities and services that are in demand for these 40-somethings, odds are in your favor. They’re likely to be scoping real estate, cars, wellness products and services, insurance, investments or travel options.
There’s not much to say about dating cougars specifically, after all, dating follows common-sense decorum like arrive on time, be yourself, be honest and authentic, don’t hog all the airtime by talking about yourself, show genuine interest on your date and what she has to say, and don’t stink.
They might be independent and all – but chivalry goes a long way. Pick her up, open the door, pay (or at least offer to pay) for the date, compliment her. These are sure ways to impress a cougar who’s either too jaded with men or are looking to feel loved after a bad relationship.
One of the better things when going on a date with a cougar is that they’re not into the thrill of the chase. They’ve done so much stuff in their lives so when it comes to dating, they don’t have much time for Jedi mind tricks or drama. While women in their 20s are whining about men not telling her how beautiful she looks, or how much he loves her. It is this similarity in wavelength that accounts for the success rate of Cougar-Cub relationships.
Women in their 20s are whining about men not telling her how pretty she looks, how much he loves her, or asking to get treated like a princess, or a baby. Cougars, on the other hand, are showing younger men what beautiful beyond youth looks like, how love feels like – emotionally and sexually, what a queen is, and maternal love nurturing.
It is this seeing eye-to-eye and similarity in wavelength that accounts for the success rate of Cougar-Cub relationships.
If all else fails and finding a cougar seems elusive, the internet is here to save the day. There is literally nothing you can’t find on the internet – and cougars are some of them.
If you want to get ahold of the finest cougar there is, here are some links to find one. Happy hunting!