Basic Profile Information:
It goes without saying that you should be honest when you fill in your height weight area ethnicity etc… Your there to find a date right? Of course you are so why the hell would you say your white when you’re actually Mexican? I’m pretty sure your date will be pissed off or at least surprised when she notices your half the height and twice the weight of your profile.
If you lie you will not only ruin your first date but you will attract the wrong people into your life. So the first rule to a good profile is the glaringly obvious one… HONESY
Of course it’s fine if your prediction of your body size was an honest mistake but in most cases you should be able to predict with reasonable accuracy. Just get a third party opinion on it if you think you might be way off.
Prefer Not To Say
Why do you prefer not to say? This should not even be a selection or a choice for daters…
Smoke? prefer not to say
Marriage? prefer not to say
Children? prefer not to say
You Alive Over There? prefer not to say
… Oookaaaay… so I know nothing about you then? Righty i’ll be on my merry way then toward a profile that can be bothered spending 2 seconds expressing themselves.
It’s the first thing people see and read other than your profile picture so it’s important but I think whats really important
is the content of your profile.
Some pof users recommend using “catchy headlines ” like
– You can have the remote,
– Straight arrow on bent path
But come on … really? Do you really want people emailing you who are into corny “catchy” headlines like that?
It’s kind of tacky to me to use silly little phrases in an attempt to get more emails. You should be trying to attract the right kinds of people not just a mass audience.
So use something that speaks volumes about you. A phrase about your favourite hobby or passion would be better but you can
still do better. It doesn’t have to rhyme or ring it just needs to convey what your personality and interests area all about. You only have a few words so make the most of it:
You could try this dating profile template: It basically pre qualifies or disqualifies people right from the start. Rather than getting some lame headline like everyone else you simply get more information in a condensed fashion. You know right away that this women is interested in people who don’t like alcohol is not loud and likes children and baking plus she is sporty.
You can shorten it down if it’s too long but the general theme is to just give other singles an immediate idea of who you are after and who you are not after. This way they don’t have to click into your profile to find out how cool you are they know if there are mutual interests right from the headline.
Likes: Skiing, Baking, Children Dislikes: Alcohol: Loud People
Avoid These Dating Profile Killers
Needing bf/gf, Desperately seeking, true love, soul mate, lost love, just dumped, ex, tired of games, will you be the one?, the one,
People tend to misread what dating interests actually means as far as what to write.
Meaning the kinds of dates that would interest you: Where would you go and what would you do but also what you would like in another person. In the end it doesn’t really matter if the interpretation is wrong just get some good stuff about what your after and what you like.
Perhaps one of the more important areas of your profile…
The reason is that mutual interests ARE important in relationships. The type of sport you play and music you listen to are important because they are important to YOU. If you spend a large amount of time on the computer “gaming” then I would suggest you mention this. She won’t be too happy to find out your online 15 hours a day 3 dates in because you didn’t list your personal interests.
Interests and hobbies are important but instead of stating these outright or restating information that is in your profile elsewhere try to really sell yourself to other people. Your job should be to use emotive words that convey feeling and positivity to other users.
ABOUT ME is really about describing your personality to others in such a way that they really get a good sense of you as a person rather than just a surface description. This sometimes requires using abstract terms such as:
Warm, soft, courageous, understanding, calm, confident, courageous, peaceful, reliable, joyous, energetic, at ease, liberated, optimistic, provocative, sympathetic, content, receptive, quiet, accepting, festive, spirited, certain, kind relaxed, blessed, merry, reassured, elated, jubilant
Well they are not so much abstract but just descriptive. You could use more abstract terms by using metaphors that describe who you are.
There is a good post on emotive words here
And it goes into using sense words like Furry, glistening, warm to describe yourself. Yes I know it’s all a bit to much for you but it’s an example of how to get our personality across to others effectively.
Dont go on and on and on about certain songs and artists but just mentioning certain genres of music should do the trick. If you a music freak and are only interested in finding singles that are “purple haze” fans then fuck go to a concert or a niche music dating website for Christ sake.
Many people often talk about their profession … KEEP IT BREIF
Dont restate your height and weight
There is another part of the about me section which could go into dating interests… and that is the description of your ideal partner or date. By IDEAL I don’t mean PERFECT I just mean what you are looking for. It pays to be realistic especially when you are going on sites such as plenty of fish.
Both personality interests and hobby interests
I am looking for a girl that likes to get outdoors and experience the world with me as I like to travel a lot. She should be optimistic and positive minded so she can match my energy.
Here another area of your dating profile in which you can express yourself. What you like/expect out of a first date can tell a women alot about you.
Are you high maintenance? Are you looking for high or low maintenance? Is money an issue to you? These shouldn’t but are read into when you suggest certain first date ideas. I would suggest you keep it low key like a walk on the beach or in the park with a lunch or bite to eat somewhere.
Having an open mind and being flexible is a good idea guys but having no plans AT ALL comes across as being unprepared and she will take that as disinterest.
If you have no ideas just suggest something to do with your hobby:
Trade show, museum , dance lesson, bike ride , browse a book store, mall, outdoor festival
Dating Profile Pictures
The classic myspace female boob shot always cracks me up and according to oktrends it is actually the most successful female profile picture as far as click through rate.
Do you know the one?
Taken from a phone with her arm up phone angled down, she usually has glasses or a come hither look/ fake kiss.
A successful picture for guys is actually top off with good abs etc but
I wouldn’t recommend it. Your main profile picture just wants to be a nice looking head shot.
Not to close up.
The other images can be full body shots or you interacting with a hobby or in group. Something that triggers conversation or is a window into our life like travel work great.
Amazingly people still upload nudity… in site such as plenty of fish this will get your account banned immediately.
Other general rules: The photo must actually contain YOU in it and our face needs to be visible e.g. no random crotch shots haha or cartoons.
Dating Profile Tips
The trend goes like this:
The more positive and inviting your profile is the more dates you will get
The more attractive you are the more dates you will get
The more interesting your offline life is the easier it is convey this in your online profile
Avoid these at all costs:
Ex girlfriend or boyfriend references
Past relationship or marriage failures (tired of playing games and getting burned)
This suggests you are some worn out old boot that has been put through the wringer and somehow survived to tell the tale. You
don’t want to be
Ready for a “fresh start”… were you rotten before or what?
Been hurt before … nobody cares!
You need to be a positive experience in someone else’s life which means you cant afford to offload person crap and old baggage on them.
Sort your shit out before coming online and show the world your good side.
Dont go looking for a date that will patch up your old wounds or dig you out of the hole you are in.
YOU are the only person that is capable and even willing to do this. Accept responsibility for getting your emotions in check before bringing negativity onto someone else.
This could involve a negative framing of yourself or even a negative comment in a forum thread.
Any negativity you put out into the world will only mean more of it coming right back in equal proportion. Any negativity you see in the external environment is merely an internal representation of YOU.
No one wants to hear your crap life story… They only want to hear about what a lovely and caring person you are and how you can take care of them.
High standards are a good thing to have but it also pays to be realistic. Putting up and average photo of yourself from 3 years ago with a few lines of description and then lying in wait for the masses to converge on your inbox is just not going to happen.
(1) Be POSITIVE and CONFIDENT.
(2) Don’t screen people out.
(3) Length is important – don’t write a novel, but 2 sentences aren’t nearly enough, either.
(4) Have content – describe yourself, don’t just fill up space.
(5) Double check it – bad spelling or grammer is profile suicide. No typos, no run-on sentences or fragements.
Finally I will say that you need to be honest. Even if you are a bit lame and sit at home most of the time or just go to work then come home and sleep with a big looped repeat . The truth is most people are boring too… sadly. The important thing is to come across optimistic and positive.
Poke fun at what you get up to in the weekends and what you plan on doing for the future.