You might a little freaked out by all of the thoughts floating around in your head right now. Some guys really don’t have a clue that their reality is so different to the next guy.
To be successful with women and dating taking a look at your reality and your frame of mind compared to the next guy is extremely valuable.
What do I mean by all of this?
I’ll tell you but only if you are ready for some weirdness o.k.?
Let’s say you keep checking out an online dating profile…
You find yourself transfixed with this women and her eyes have you spellbound. You think you might even be in love. You have logged onto the dating site several times just to check out her photos.
You HAVE emailed her but are yet to get any responses. You have already come up with elaborate plans of how you are going to seduce her – or perhaps you are constantly freaking out about her response to your advance.
NOTE: this could occur online or offline but the point is that’s it’s equally INSANE! You need to catch yourself in dreamland and realise the REALITY of your situation.
The REALITY is that it’s a virtual profile (could be fake) that has yet to respond to you – meaning they have no clue who you are or what your all about.
The reality is that even though dreaming up fantasies can be fun they serve little practical purpose other than to get you exited over nothing.
Check yourself when you start to jump the gun and act all weird around women – WHY are you acting the way you are?
Should you be more relaxed and connected with her rather than trying to act as normal as possible – this normally means that you say little in fear of looking silly around her. (what she really wants is for you to act normal and make her laugh)
Being aware that you acting silly in situations out of your control is the first step to solving them.
You really like a girl but are not sure if she likes you – at this point you get all serious around her thinking that your NORMAL behaviour will attract her to you. You have already come up with detailed situations of the two of you in the future.
The REALITY is that you are IN YOUR HEAD – and she barley even knows who you are! You are yet to talk for more than 30 seconds (if at all) and she probably just wants to be friends.
The reality of the situation is that you are wasting your emotional energy on speculation and dreaming.
The reality is that her less attractive friend has been eyeing you up for days but you are yet to realise it.
Enthusiasm and a healthy imagination are two great things when it comes to women but you need to be able to control them.
If you find your imagination getting away on you – stop yourself and think of this post…
If you find yourself acting weird and self conscious around women ask yourself why…
- What have you got to lose (they barley know you)
- By being self conscious you hinder your own success by not coming out of your shell and showing them your true personality (or is it your true personality you are afraid they will see?)
- You look like a fool if you dont pipe up and actually say something… keeping quite is guaranteed to screw things up with women. At least ask an insightful (or obvious) question to start things off
Become self aware and more aware of the situation around you – when you are confronted with the chance to “pull” a hot girl guys have the huge tendency to think they have something to LOSE when in reality they have everything to gain.
By thinking that you have everything to GAIN by being yourself and everything to LOSE by remaining in your head you should pluck up enough courage to act normal around girls.
Remember the REALITY is that we as guys are often deluded to the real situations around because we are stuck in our heads.
Get into the moment and stop caring about screwing things up because there is nothing to screw up! You cant control if she will be attracted to your personality or not and this is the source of your anxiety with women. If you cant control the outcome… stop trying to control it!
Let it all go and turn on the charm by being more of yourself.