Your perspective is how you see the world and you can be sure it is different from the next guy out there. This is also known as your frame of reference. Re framing takes place when you hear or see something and your (subconscious) brain pulls meaning out of the incoming information.
The problem is your brain very often does not have all the information and makes inferences (guess’s) about what is going on.
Negative reframing can slowly whittle away at your dating confidence by constantly turning any causal action or saying by others into a personal threat or statement about you.
Being aware of what’s going on here and seeing fact for and reality for what it really is can help your inner game and confidence with women.
Getting all the facts about a situation is key… it ensures that you are not jumping the gun and assuming she does not like you.
In addition it insures that you are not deluded about a women’s love for you and you know when to leave a marriage or stop texting a girl.
Negative reframing occurs most in insecure individuals who do not feel worthy of a women’s love. Hence these men turn any positive influence or statement about their personal appearance or attitude into something negative.
Your brain might be thinking: Because I am not worthy of love and respect of course no one should or would be giving me this respect so it must mean something else…
Brain searches database of negative emotions associated with situation…
Oh they really meant to say [insert your most common reframe]
Are you aware of your current reframing? Reframing is a real tough one to pick as it’s a result of your subconscious programming.
Dating Confidence Healing Path Step 1
The first step in getting more confidence with women and dating is to be aware that you might not be seeing the full picture.
This is not an excuse to act paranoid.
When you feel an emotional threat from someone – something someone has said that really hurt you. Do you think they really meant it? Perhaps you are super sensitive in this area due to negative emotions in the past. Perhaps you also reframed what they said into something much worse.
This is not a physical changing of the words but a alternative INTERPRETATION that YOU have chosen to accept.
Dating Confidence Healing Path Step 2
You have chosen to accept this reframing and the second step after recognising that it exists is to take personal responsibility for the fact that you have let these negative reframes warp your interpretations of certain aspects of your life.
It is natural and easy to blame others and past experiences for your current lack of confidence with women. Even if this is true, blaming will not help you move forward and gain more confidence. What will help is to accept 100% responsibility for your current dating confidence and take actions to fix it.
Dating Confidence Healing Path Step 3
Implementation of positive reframing
When you are aware that you are turning a situation with a women into a negative scenario you need to eliminate that thought and replace it with a positive (affirmation) or statement about your power, attributes and confidence with women.
This situation could be before you approach a women in a bar or talking to a women during the day at a restaurant.
I have not said that this is going to be easy or be a quick fix. Changing your mindset is arguably one of the hardest things to do during your life.
It will take time and dedication but using positive reframing to increase your confidence with women is an aspect of your life you cannot afford to ignore.