Dating Information Overload
It’s very easy to read some piece of information and think that you understand it and will be able to apply it in the real world.
But actually doing something is completely different than knowing and understanding is intellectually…
The action and doing part is where all the magic happens: It’s where we discover how to put into practice all the information we have gathered over the past few days/weeks.
There are many men out there who think that they know how to impress and influence women, yet when it comes time to perform they are surprised at the lack of results.
You see, Women don’t want a guy who KNOWS that he needs to be confident.
They want a guy who is ACTUALLY confident…
It’s most certainly old news that women are attracted to a man who is confident and knows what he wants… but does that really help you?
At the end of the day even if you know you SHOULD be confident if you don’t know how to get that confident dominant feeling every day and in every situation, it’s worthless.
Because you’re not putting anything into action or practice in the real world you never REALLY learn anything.
You think your getting more intelligent and “worldly” with your new piece of information but really your just playing around.
In this information age it’s easy to assume that you know many things. In face your probably do know many things because almost all information is available in milliseconds.
But it’s those people who are DOING something with the new knowledge they acquire that will make in-roads and progress in the future.
Women don’t want a guy who UNDERSTANDS
That he needs to be ‘in the moment’, they want a guy who IS in the moment.
And they don’t want a guy who’s read books on not being needy… They want a guy who’s ACTUALLY NOT NEEDY.
This is the main reason why nerds and geeks seem so awkward in social situations… They just have not had that much time putting social interaction into practice. They spend the majority of their time reading analysing studying or playing computer games etc.
If they gave up the books for two months I could have them acting perfectly normal – it just takes a little bit of exposure to communication and interaction.
They need to FEEL the emotion of confidence and joking wordplay that exists in normal conversation rather than serious analytical conversation.
Geeks could analyse and study solutions to their social awkwardness for years but nothing would get solved until they put action behind their thoughts.
So now that you know (intellectually) that you need to be DOING more will the information that you have (a considerable amount) what are you going to do about it?
I would suggest that you write down 5 ACTIONS or events that you should commit to doing every day that involve interaction and activity.
Approach 1 stranger a day and chat to them / get to know them (could be in a book store or in the line at a fast food restaurant)
Join social clubs and sports teams to broaden your social circle
Limit your computer screen time and spend more time talking with friends
All of these actions require you to ACT and be more rather then read and learn more… Reading and learning is great but a BALANCE is required.
You will intellectually understand the importance of being in the moment during a date.
Picture your date (women/wife/gf) as being the only person in the room.
Your complete attention is on her and only her. You are not in your own head wondering what to say because if you’re in your head you’re not connecting with her. You actively observe and note her interests when she talks which enable you to bring them up later in the night.
Getting out of your head and away from dating information overload is the most important step for intellectuals. You might be at work all day and “in your head” or in your work.
How do you come out of it straight away and go to a bar relaxed , laid back with and easy going attitude? Most people drink alcohol which leads to even more anxiety down the line.
It comes done to focus – allowing your mind to dart and fly all over the place does not help you stay in the moment for very long. You might feel amazingly confident and in the moment for a few minutes and then it dies out. Remember the feeling and keep it going by leaving no gap between your conversation with friends and your next conversation with the girl standing next to you.
Allow the natural conversation flow to become part of you – there should be no anxiety and friction between sets. If there is become self aware – you will be letting your mind talk louder than your actions…
Have the will power to say no to that monkey on your back and move forward with definite purpose. You will slip up and get anxious at times as this social interaction is not normal for you but it’s all part of learning and growing.
The guys around you that seem to natural at chatting up girls are likely not as genius as you at intellectual problem solving, they do this often so don’t feel intimidated. In time you will say goodbye to dating information overload and welcome living in the NOW through action.