FetLife Review

FetLife is one of the more advanced, and sophisticated niche online community – it’s not merely a dating site as they provide group activities where all the members can interact as they explore the world of kink, fetish and other naughty, sexy stuff you might be into.

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Sign Up

The platform will request that you fill out a couple of information to register as a member of FetLife. Details that they ask upon sign up is your nickname/username, gender, sexual orientation, date of birth, location, email address and your nominated password.

There’s also another field that you need to fill up that might confuse someone who isn’t really that much into kink, BDSM or just downright “fet life”. Role. Role pertains to the role you play in the kink world. Dropdown options to Role include Dominant, Submissive, Switch, Master/Mistress, Slave, Kinkster, and Fetishist, among others.

Once you’re registered, other options like Swinger, Hedonist, Voyeur, Exhibitionist, Princess, Slut, etc. can also be used. You can change this by editing your profile.

Right after providing these information, clicking next will bring you to a page that shows a list of members that the website suggests you might be interested in following. It’s optional though and if no one piqued your interest you can skip and just click ‘Next’.  Here, you’ll then be asked to provide a display photo.

The next step might scare some potential members. They ask for your mobile number to which they’ll be sending your verification code. In any case, they provide a disclaimer saying:

We know it’s a lot to ask, but to maintain a healthy and vibrant community, we need to verify everyone before they join. Something we think you will appreciate once you are on the other side.

Which is true… If you really want to be a part of this clandestine community and ensure safety as a member.

The verification code will arrive via SMS on your phone within seconds, and from here, your sign up is completed and verified. You will then be led to your homepage.

The homepage will say Let’s get this party started!

It contains suggestions on how to get started on the platform and meet people by joining popular groups and chiming in on the discussions, meeting kinksters nearby and going to the Kinky&Popular section.

They also provide a gentle reminder as if you’re being given the Dark Gift and is about to get turned into a vampire.

If you are reading this, you’ve gone too far. Don’t be scared. We don’t bite … unless you ask nicely! Just choose one of the above and start exploring!


Your Feed

As one of the more advanced platforms out there, navigating around FetLife is truly a treasure trove. There’s a lot of areas to uncover and explore.

On the homepage Main Feed tab you’ll see whatever it is that’s happening on your feed – based on the groups and discussions you’re a member of, and your friends.

At the left-hand side, you’ll see a Requests link, clicking this will bring you a list of people who requested being connected with you.

Meanwhile, still at the left-hand side links… the Group Activity feed will give you an overview of the activity in the groups you are a part of, and if you have friends who are part of the same group, you’ll also see their updates here.

The Status Updates feed is basically your personal wall where you share updates, write posts/blogs, share photos and even videos ala Facebook. If you want to see these sections separately you can also click on the Writing, Pictures, and Videos feed. Perfect for OCD people who don’t want to deal with a hodgepodge of random everything.

Other Places

At the top of the page, clicking on Explore will bring you on a time-consuming blackhole of anything and everything from people who are into kink. This is also the best place to find people you might wanna connect with or follow.

Clicking on Groups you’ll see the Groups you are a part of and the Discussions within these groups that you are contributing to or are following.

The Places tab will allow you to search for other FetLife members who are nearby your location. The Events tab, on the other hand, shows a list of events for the kink community within your area, and all around the world.

Under More, there is a drop-down link for Fetishes which will lead you to a bunch of keywords that allows the users to check out the specific kink that they are into. Writing leads you to the journal entries, notes and other publications made by the community’s members. Clicking on the Videos allows you to access a myriad of user-submitted videos in their different kinks, fetish and sexy situations.

At the right-hand top is an icon of an envelope that will quick-launch the communications you had with other members. The friends icon will show your friend requests and the @ icon will show notifications that other members made on your posts, photos, videos, etc.

The dropdown on your username will allow you to access your profile for viewing View your list of friends and invite those who are not yet a part of the website. Links to uploading photos, videos and writing posts, notes and other publications may be accessed here.

Profile information and account settings can also be changed in this section.

Your Profile

FetLife acknowledges all the kinks and interests of its members and they make sure to capture this in their profile information.

Sexual orientation has the following choices:

  • Straight
  • Heteroflexible
  • Bisexual
  • Homoflexible
  • Gay
  • Lesbian
  • Queer
  • Pansexual
  • Fluctuating/Evolving
  • Asexual
  • Unsure
  • Not applicable

There’s are so many roles that you can choose from:

  • Dominant
  • Domme
  • Switch
  • Submissive
  • Master
  • Mistress
  • Slave
  • Kajira
  • Top
  • Bottom
  • Sadist
  • Masochist
  • Sadomasochist
  • Kinkster
  • Fetishist
  • Swinger
  • Hedonist
  • Exhibitionist
  • Voyeur
  • Princess
  • Slut
  • Vanilla
  • …and so much more

The About You section allows you to put a short headline or a long-ass essay about yourself. You can also add in your website, photos, and videos here. Change Nickname is basically to allow you to change your displayed name. Just in case you went from Princess Sophia to Slut Sophia, and you need to make sure the world knows about it.

The Relationships In tab on your profile allows you to put the names of user/s you are in a relationship/s with. There is likewise a wide range of relationships to choose from like:

  • Single
  • Dating
  • Play Partners
  • Open Relationship
  • Polyamorous
  • In a leather group
  • In a rope family
  • …among others…


At the right-hand side of your homepage, you’ll see instructions on how you can upload pics to your FetlLfe account straight from your phone via email. An email address that looks like this [email protected] is your easy-peasy way to update your FetLife account with new sexy images.

Below this, they have a suggestion box that allows users to vote what they want the platform to integrate or add to the platform. Some ideas that have a significant number of votes (a.k.a Spanks) to date include:

  • Search for people by Location/Sex/Orientation/Age with 40,000+ votes
  • See who visited your profile with 22,000+ votes
  • Mobile version of FetLife with 18,000+ votes
  • Find People Near Me (by distance) with 12,000+ votes
  • Make Photo Albums with 9,000+ votes


The platform and its features and functions are all free, but they provide an option for the members to Support FetLife to access a sexier experience. Supporting FetLife allows the member customization and viewing privileges that are not available to regular members.

For $5 a month, the proceeds go to the continued development of the website and the community. Payment is accepted via US Bank Transfer, Giftcard Trade In, Bitcoin and Physical Mail. Credit Card and Paypal are not yet accepted due to content limitations of these payment methods.

Payment subscriptions are available at $30 for 6 months, $60 for a year, $120 for 2 years or just pay a one time $240 for the lifetime membership.


  • Curated matches
  • Niche user base
  • Verification options
  • Easy sign-up process
  • Detailed profiles
  • Free to use
  • Large user base
  • Advanced search options
  • Real-time chat
  • Lots of photos
  • Supports video uploads
  • Allows members to publish journal entries
  • Events
  • Groups
  • Discussions
  • Specify type of relationship you are seeking


What FetLife tries to offer its members is the sense of community their platform provides, and that they are more than just a niche dating site.

The community/social media network yearns to educate its users about the wide world of kink and fetishes. FetLife does this through their various groups, discussions, as well as in the writing, photos and videos published that shows what “fetlife” looks like.

The verification is done via mobile number, ensuring members are legit individuals, thus making the community safer than the typical online dating websites.

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