photo by *clairity*
With great first date conversation you are sure to get a second date even if you don’t really “bond”. It’s unreasonable to think there will be immediate sexual chemistry at a simple lunch date.
That usually comes later, so all you should be focused on in your first date is to keep the conversation flow moving forward.
Redirect any conversation sticking points toward something more positive.
What Not to Do
Controversial topics include: death, religion, politics, divorce, pet hates: all these conversation topics can lead to small arguments or disagreements. If you trying to probe your date with 20 questions regarding her past and present beliefs you will ruin the real reason for the date.
Talking about your past negative relationships screams “stuck in the past”. Your date will not be impressed if you go on and on about them so best idea is to never bring them up. You can mention past relationship duration but that’s as far as you should go.
Some emotional insecure guys might try to predict what her dates wants to hear so that they can be more congruent in conversation. This common conversational mistake leads to outright failure because you can never predict what they are thinking. Be yourself and hope for the best because liars always look like fools.
Look up and directly into your dates eyes. Many guys find this difficult to do as they are used to indirect conversation over some activity such as sport or beers. Your date will notice if you look away when she tries to hold your gaze. Looking away is a sign of weakness and insecurity which is certainly not what you want to convey. You don’t have to stare non-stop but just make sure your head is up and in her direction most of the time (not staring at her rack)
If your eyes are not on her make sure they are not on other women. She won’t be impressed if you are checking out girls while you are on a date. This is all part of the conversational experience – it’s not just about what you say.
For effective first date conversation it is crucial that you focus on your
Voice tone: pitch and variability when necessary, obvious but always forgotten
Eye direction: Keep your focus on her, she will love the attention. She will feel the attention you are giving her if your eye contact is sincere and steady. Eye contact is one of the most important parts of any first date experience. It’s one of the crucial areas of the bonding process.
Body language: Women can spot a desperate man from a mile off. But at the same time coming off completely disinterested in the date will also blow your chances. Just be yourself but focus on how your body is in relation to hers. Keep your arms unfolded and open to her advances. It helps if your hips are oriented in the same direction to hers.
First Date Conversation Secret
Conversation that is driven only but intellectual surface to surface topics will not stimulate the emotions of your date.
I mentioned earlier that your sexual connection and intimacy will come later but that does not mean that you shouldn’t talk about emotional topics.
The secret to the first date is to ensure that your date feels noticed and understood. Ask her questions and move the topics toward emotions and feelings if it feels natural to you. This could be something as simple as chatting about her future travel plans. That way she will be thinking about emotional travel experiences and adventure rather than boring work.
It’s crucial to smile on the first date. One person that is smiling can light up the whole room. When you smile it makes your date feel relaxed and happy to be in your presence.
Get used to smiling with warmth and presence.
Listen intently and actively to what your date has to say. They want to feel loved and respected. If you ask them a question and then look away your chances of a second date are slim.
They will soon get the impression that you care little about what they have to say. Every person (independent of looks and social status) can teach you something amazing about yourself. Never count a date out until you have gotten to know them. Respect everybody until THEY prove your otherwise.
I you met this women online REMEMBER her name (obviously) her dogs name, what her dog has for breakfast, what she loves to do on Sundays, her family’s history, ANYTHING that she has told you in the past REMEMBER it.
Bringing up emotional and person topics then becomes much easier. We all love to talk about ourselves so if you move into an awkward silence just bring up her dogs eating habits or her what she likes to do in the weekend.