Getting your ex back after a long break

So you have used the no contact approach and it’s been a good year since you saw your ex girlfriend. Is there still a chance of getting back together? There is a good chance the two of you will have been with other people and she may even be with another guy. She’s back in town… now what?
You have to weigh up your options!
Are you just looking to get back with her because your life’s going down the drain and she will make it better or do you genuinely think that she will benefit from being in your life.
If your coming from the angle of mutual benefit for all then it’s a good idea.
Otherwise you should move on
The incredibly strong emotion of wanting to get your ex back often stems from jealousy loneliness and sadness rather than any positive forward thinking emotion.
So think for awhile and try to find the source of motivation for wanting to get your ex back – if you believe you would positively affect your ex girlfriends life if you were to get them back then she will benefit greatly from your presence. Using this non selfish approach ensures that everyone wins.
I say this because there are some methods for getting your ex back that are brutally effective ( – If you understand the relationship repair process you can influence and manipulate her emotions such that she will come back to you. But you should always use these systems ethically, otherwise you end up screwing up peoples lives!
She may have left you because your going down a different life path to her or you cheated on her one to many times. If this is the case she was right to ditch you and find a guy that matches her personalty or will treat her with the respect that she deserves.

So Which Is It?

Is it going to be worth her time to give you another chance (have you really changed) or are you wasting her time?
Hopefully you love and respect her enough to make this decision!

Other Scenarios

Of course there are other scenarios – the less common ex back scenario is that you simply grew apart and decided that you were no longer compatible. Or she had to leave for study for a year which was tough but had to happen.
In this case it’s usually your high-school girlfriend that moves on into a different field of study to you. She is now back in town and it’s time to make a decision…
If you have been thinking about her and have been in contact with her over the course of the year this is a great chance to make a positive impression.
Many many relationships go through trial breaks and rough patches… Just because she has been single for a year does not mean she isn’t thinking about you. You were a huge part of her life and still can be.

The question is what angle should you take from here?

If your not on talking terms this is the first step – you obviously wont be able to get her back if she doesn’t want to talk to you.
More common is that she simply no longer feels attraction for you. You may have gotten a bit wussy or associated with friends she doesn’t approve of. The chemistry could have gone cold or she simply moved on and wanted a bit of fun in her life that you weren’t providing.
All of the above attraction and chemistry related problems can be solved relatively easily. Hopefully during your year off you have worked on some lifestyle attraction.
The more exiting your life is now compared to hers can be used as leverage for attraction. Routines and life decision such as not drinking and exercising regularly can transform you into the man she wants in her life.
You have to approach getting your ex back with the maturity that she always wanted you to have in the first place. Performing and action or behavior for the sole purpose of getting your ex girlfriend back doesn’t speak well of your personal value.
Meaning your ex will be able to spot your motivations and think poorly of you. If you are simply trying to manipulate them back into your life for you own benefit there is little chance of a successful relationship being produced as a result.
So what your really trying to accomplish and create is a serendipitous encounter….
I kind of out of the blue surprise experience. This is what women dream about and film makers try to recreate in movies.

During this encounter you need to accomplish two things:

  1. Let her know without explicitly telling her that your interested and open to getting back with her.
  2. Display higher value and independence.
These are both of equal importance and need to be displayed before your ex will show you any reciprocal interest. If she left you she will already know that your open to getting back with her but if the breakup was mutual she needs a sign from you. The reason for this is because we are all very aware of how we come across to others in a social setting.
The last thing your ex girlfriend wants to display is neediness and desperation.

It’s unlikely she will advance flirtatiously until you show her first that your interested.
You should be able to spark interesting conversation with her about your recent adventures when she was away. Leverage the fact that there is already a connection between you – the two of you have stories and shared emotions. Reference them in conversation with her.

Value Display Examples

Going to the party that she is going to be present at with a women of your own shows her that you have moved on and are attractive to other women. This makes the proposition of getting back with you when you suggest it all the more inviting.
Appearance – Material possessions and clothing are important… wear the appropriate wares.
Captivating an audience – Rather than sitting in the corner… communicate and learn about other party goers lives. Being a social creature is very attractive to women. Talking to multiple women at once and getting them to laugh at your energy and stories will be noticed by your ex.
Fake it til you make only works if you make it – If you believe your ex left you because of your life decisions or poor future prospects sprinkle in some social proof and qualification.
You dont need to explain why your in the position your in… just describe your plans for the future subtlety with examples of what your going now. You have to be able to paint the picuture of an exiting life. For more information

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