Hookup Tonight 2: How to Hookup on the First Date

This is part two of how to hookup tonight. In Part 1, we learned how to get a girl to consent to going out with you. This included finding the right site or app, finding the right girl, and the steps to seducing her into saying yes to a date. These two posts give you everything you need to know on how to have a one night stand with a dating app, tonight. If you haven’t read Part 1, you can find it here.

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Now that you have a girl that wants to go out with you, the hard work is over. If she’s agreed to meet you, especially on the same day you began talking, she wants to hookup with you. Women want sex just as much as men do, maybe even more. Studies have shown that women have more sexual partners than men. She wants to sleep with someone, and if she’s agreed to go out with you, that someone is you, my friend.

Your job is to offer her plausible deniability and be the attractive sexy man she thinks you are. Now it’s time to learn what you’ll need to know to go from date to bed.

Concepts for Success

These are core concepts and techniques that you can use to be sure you are able to successfully hookup with a girl tonight. Think of this as the foundation that your hookup strategy will be based on.

The Three Things Every Woman Wants

There are three basic things every woman wants. Security, uncertainty, and to be desired. Security and uncertainty may seem at odds, but they aren’t. Security is knowing that you will arrive safely at your destination. Uncertainty is not knowing how you will get there.

Security

Have you ever noticed how women seem to be attracted to men with lots of money, intelligence, or alpha male confidence? Have you ever wondered what these things have in common? They can all offer a woman security in different ways. Building trust can give a woman security as well, and it’s really all you need on a one night stand. We’ll go in-depth into trust building a little later on.

Uncertainty

Uncertainty is what gets her heart racing and gets her turned on. It’s exciting. You can create uncertainty a few different ways on a one night stand. One way to do this is false statements. Examples of false statements:

  • “I’m not the type to sleep with someone on the first date.”
  • “I have to get to know a woman before I decide to sleep with her”
  • “I’m not going to kiss you tonight”.

These work well as long as you both know that you don’t mean it. Use one of these statements and then make it clear with your actions that you mean the opposite of what you are saying.

Push-pull is another way to create uncertainty. Push-pull essentially means you take two steps forward and then one step back. Push forward and then pull back a bit. This builds attraction and keeps her guessing. It also gives her a chance to chase you, instead of you doing all of the work.

Being Desired

This is perhaps a woman’s strongest need. It defines much of their behavior. Women want to be wanted. Women want a man who wants them in an uncontrollable way, without concern for the consequences. They want a man who will burn with desire for them, and ignite their passion. They want to be fantasized about, needed, hungered for.

You can give a woman everything else in the world, but you’ll never truly experience what she has to offer until you give her your full unbridled desire.

Taking Control

Women want a man who knows how to take control. You don’t have to be a macho alpha male type, either. You should always be yourself. There are different types of assertiveness and confidence. Donald Trump, Barrack Obama, and Christian Grey are all examples of powerful alpha male type men. (This has nothing to do with political affiliation, just well-known personalities).

Donald Trump is cocky. He has a crass “my way or the highway” attitude. Barrack Obama is refined and sophisticated. He’s every bit as commanding, but he does it in a more classy and subtle way. Christian Grey is the quintessential Alpha Male. He’s very reserved and expects his every word to be obeyed immediately.

You should be aware of your worth, and have the confidence to go after what you want. Your body language and voice should convey your status as an alpha male. You shouldn’t have to say you are manly or in control, it should be obvious. Of course, you should also be able to take the lead when it comes to women.

When a woman knows that you are willing and capable of leading, it allows her to relax. She will gladly give up the responsibility of decision making and be willing to go along with whatever you want to do, as long as she trusts you to make good decisions.

Plan Ahead

One way to take control of the situation is to plan beforehand. You decide where to go on the date, where to meet, etc. You should go to another place after you meet as well. We’ll get into this more in a minute. For now, just know you should meet at point A, then go to point B, and then arrive at point C (your place). You’ll need to have point B selected.

You’ll also want to consider the logistics. Are you going to take your car? Walk? Take separate vehicles? Have a plan for getting from point a to b to c, and getting her home that night (or the next day). This shows her that you are in control, and you know how to take care of things. She doesn’t have to worry about the details, because you’ve already taken care of them.

Why You Should Go Somewhere Else

Why meet her at point a and then go to point b before taking her home? There’s actual psychology behind it. First, we equate going different places and doing different things as spending more time with someone. From a psychological perspective, going to two different places is like going out on two different dates.

Second, it helps to build trust. Building trust is just as important as building attraction if you want a girl to sleep with you. When you choose somewhere else to go, and it turns out to be a good choice, this lets her trust you to make other decisions as well.

Third, it’s a way to put yourself in control of the situation. She can relax and be her beautiful relaxed feminine self, because she knows you can handle things.

Get Their First

You should always arrive 5-10 minutes before your date. This gives you time to get comfortable. It also establishes the place as “your territory” which helps establish that you are in control. Even though you both made an effort by coming to the place where you are meeting, subconsciously, it makes it seem like she’s coming to you. This implies that she is the one making an effort. It puts her in a submissive position and gets her invested.

It also removes any worries that you might not show up. You want her to be comfortable and relaxed from the moment she arrives, not stressing about whether or not you are coming.

Lastly, arriving first shows that you are reliable, trustworthy, and responsible. This allows her to trust you from the very beginning.

Body Language

You may have heard about the famous study that revealed that verbal communication only accounts for 7-10% of all total communication. This is based on two small-scale studies conducted in the 1950s. More recent studies have brought more realistic results.

These studies have shown that between 60-80% of communication is nonverbal, at least when it comes to face to face conversations. This is one reason why you don’t want to spend lots of time chatting before you meet the girl you want to hookup with.

When it comes to phone conversations, logic wins out. In face to face meetings, body language and tone of voice have more of an impact than the words you use. You won’t convince a girl to sleep with you using logic, you do it by making her feel something. This is much easier to do in person.

Using Proper Body Language When You Meet

You’ll want to find a seat where you’ll be able to see her when she comes in. Your body language should be open, and you should take up space.

Body Language Examples

Notice the man in the first picture has very closed off body language. This isn’t going to be welcoming to a woman. The man in the second picture has a relaxed open posture, and he’s taking up plenty of physical space. The man in the third picture is clearly confident and relaxed. He is sitting with his arms open and his legs slightly spread to take up space.

The biggest key to alpha body language is to take up as much physical space as you want. You shouldn’t look sloppy when you sit or stand, but you should look comfortable. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and your body open. Put your hands to your side or behind your back. If you feel comfortable with your hands in your pockets, leave your thumbs out.

Facial Expressions

When she walks in the door, you’ll want to use the “slow smile”. There are lots of different types of smiles, and one thing that differentiates them is speed. A quick smile can mean anything from “you look nice” to “oh there you are”. It’s simply an acknowledgment.

A slow smile, however, is more intentional. This is when you look at her and a smile slowly spreads across your face. Slow smiles are shown to be seen as more trustworthy and flirtatious. It instantly puts her at ease and lets her know you find her attractive.

I mentioned different types of smiles. I’m going to give you a few other types that you can use throughout the night to have specific effects on a woman. First, the sexy smile. 

The sexy smile is your way of saying “hey, I’m a sexy guy. I’d like to sleep with you”, without saying it. It automatically keeps you out of the friend zone and makes her pulse speed up a bit.

For this look, you’ll want to tilt your chin down and your eyes up. You’ll want your mouth to be smiling slightly and playfully. Your eyebrows should be either up or down.

The other look that will get you a long way towards your goal of a one night stand is the warm and friendly smile. This smile instantly builds trust and familiarity. You don’t want to use it too much, because if you see too warm and friendly you’ll end up in the friend zone. Use it a few times throughout the night, particularly when she says something amusing or you want to put her at ease.

Notice this is a genuine smile. Your eyes will crinkle at the corners (the hallmark of a genuine smile). Teeth are showing but not completely, and your eyebrows are raised just slightly. This is the look you would give an old friend, or someone you want to feel old friend familiarity with you.

Do not try any of these expressions without practicing them first. They should feel natural, not forced. Practice in the mirror. Practice with friends and see how they react. If they give you a wtf look, you are doing something wrong.

Using Touch

Using touch is another way to build trust and attraction. The trick here is to start off slow and work your way up. First, you’ll start with incidental touch. This is where you accidentally brush your hand against her arm when you are reaching for something, etc. It should appear to be an “accidental touch”.

Assuming she doesn’t mace you, it’s time to move to protective touch. Remember what I said about going to two different spots? This is the perfect time to use protective touch. Place your hand on the small of her back as you walk. Walk on the outside of the street. These are protective gestures that will make her feel safe and cared for in your presence.

Now she’s comfortable with you touching her. You’ll want to use romantic touch. This is essentially pre-foreplay foreplay. Touch her face, brush her hair back, hold her hand. Those little romantic touches that say you are interested in her.

When the time’s right, you’ll move to sexual touch. You’ll want to wait until she’s showing signs that she wants it before you move in for a kiss or touching her in a strictly sexual manner.

Flared nostrils and dilated pupils are a few physical signs that she wants to get physical. She will be facing you with her entire body, and there won’t be anything between you, like her purse or cell phone. She’ll also start touching you. It may be something innocent like patting your arm, but when she’s turned on, she will have to touch you.

These are your cues that it’s time to take things to the next level. Start with a kiss and move on from there.

Build Trust

I mentioned building trust in the last post. Building trust is just as essential as building attraction if you want her to sleep with you. Trust without attraction = friend zone. Attraction without trust = her wanting to sleep with you, but not being comfortable enough to do so.

You’ll need to strike the right balance of trust and attraction, especially when it comes to having a one night stand. There are a few different methods you’ll need to use to build enough trust for her to sleep with you on the first date.

Being Vulnerable

One way of building trust is to appear vulnerable. One way to do this is to admit to having minor flaws.

  • You like to eat dessert first
  • you work too hard
  • you spend too much time working out.

You get the idea. Either use a very minor flaw or one that can even be considered a positive, like the above examples.

Another way of being vulnerable is to tell an embarrassing story. Again, you don’t want to go overboard. It should be something slightly embarrassing and amusing. You can also tell her a secret using these same guidelines.

Showing her that you aren’t perfect will help build trust and connection. Showing a little vulnerability goes a long way towards putting her at ease. Even better, when you open up, so will she.

Evoking Feeling

Another way of building trust is to evoke feelings. Many men mess up when they are talking to women because they stick to safe and boring conversation. Men tend to operate logically, while women operate on feelings. Make her feel something with your conversation, and you will build trust and attraction.

One way to evoke feelings is to ask the right questions. Ask her about the things that she’s passionate about.

  • Do you remember your first day at school?
  • If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?
  • If you woke up on a desert island, what person or thing would you have to have?

Mirroring

Mirroring is another technique used to build trust and connection. Have you ever found yourself in conversation with someone and found both of you making the same movements? This is called mirroring. Normally, this happens on a subconscious level, but you can use it consciously as well.

You’ll start mirroring by following. She gestures with her hands, you gesture with your hands. She leans forward, you lean forward. Then you’ll start doing things at the same time. This is called pacing.

After you’ve got pacing down, you can try leading. Brush your hair back, gesture with your hands, etc. She should do it too.

In addition to mirroring with body language, you can mirror with words. We all have certain words and phrases that we use a lot. Once you’ve discovered hers, start using them too.

Building Attraction

Ok, guys. I’m going to let you in on a secret. How you look doesn’t matter much to the average woman. She wants a man who is groomed and takes care of himself, but she’s not looking for Brad Pitt. She’s looking for a man who makes her feel something. 

Take a look at these two photos. You’ve got to be wondering what these smoking hot women are doing with these not so attractive guys, right? These guys aren’t CEOs,  and they don’t drive a Lambo.  You see, the common misconception is that women go for looks, power, and money. And yes, all of these things are attractive to women.

However, personality is the number one thing that makes a man attractive to a woman. You don’t attract a woman with your looks, money, or power. You attract her by the way you interact with her. This means that you have control over the caliber of women you attract, and how attracted to you they are.

Attraction Killers

Knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do when it comes to building attraction. The top three attraction killers are:

  1. Not holding eye contact
  2. Too much sexual interest
  3. Bragging and talking too much

It’s been said that eyes are the window to the soul. They are certainly the window to attraction. Eye contact is a way of building intimacy and attraction. Not holding eye contact also says that you are shy, submissive, or have something to hide.

Yes, women want to be desired. However, they don’t want to feel like just a sex object. They want to feel like you’ve gotten to know them and desire them for everything that they are, instead of just their bodies.

There are two schools of thought on how much talking you should be doing. Some people say that you should only do 20% of the talking, while others suggest that since you approached her, you should do most of the talking.

Regardless of which method you choose, keep the conversation focused on her. Do not make it about you. You don’t need to spend the entire conversation telling her how great you are. It should come through naturally. Spend the majority of the time getting to know her.

Teasing

Teasing is one way to create attraction. There are two ways to tease a girl, and you should do both of them. The first is playful banter. This is where you say something that annoys her slightly, makes her blush, etc.

This is the basis of flirting, and its essential to getting a woman to be attracted to you. It’s essentially the grown-up equivalent of schoolyard play. The key is to keep it playful. When you tease, you should smile and/or touch her. You should also make it obvious that what you are saying is in jest.

Roleplay is one way of teasing. No, I’m not talking about 50 Shades of Grey here. Pretend that you are the most desirable man in the world, that you are the one objecting to being hit on, that you are an authority figure, etc. Pretend that she is after you, and you are the one resisting.

  • “You’ve been naughty. I think I should send you to the office.”
  • “You’re hired. I’ve been looking for a new bodyguard”
  • “Hey. My eyes are up here”.

When you do this type of teasing, your body language, tone, facial expressions, etc. should match the character you are portraying. You don’t have to be an actor to use role play flirting, just get into the character as best you can.

The second sort of teasing is very powerful for building attraction. You stare into her eyes, lean forward for a kiss, and pull back. You start to brush her hair back from her face, and change your mind at the last second. This type of teasing will have her craving you physically.

Tone of Voice

Most studies suggest that body language is the most effective method of in-person communication, with tone of voice coming in second. That means that how you say something carries more weight than how you say it.

First, don’t be too quiet. Ever. If she can’t hear you, you are not projecting an attractive alpha male vibe. You don’t have to yell. In fact, in some circumstances, a quieter tone can be more effective. Just be sure that you have the volume turned up enough that she can hear you.

Volume is to speech what spreading yourself out a bit is to body language. They both indicate that you are comfortable taking up as much space as you desire. It indicates confidence. There’s nothing more unsexy than a man who doesn’t have the confidence to be heard.

You should also speak in a lower register. Listen to Barry White. It doesn’t matter what he says. His voice could make a trip to the grocery store sound like erotica. Sure, not everyone is blessed with the deep tone Barry White has, but you can focus on deepening your voice just a bit when you are talking to a sexy woman.

Lastly, slow it down. When we get nervous, we talk faster. Speaking slowly lets a woman know you are confident and in control. You do things on your time, and you have yourself together. Again, Barry White is an excellent example.

Laughter

We’ve all heard that women are attracted to a man who can make them laugh. In fact, scientific studies are now proving that men with a better sense of humor have more sexual partners, more sexual encounters, and began having sex earlier in life.

It’s thought that this is because humor is an indication of intelligence. More importantly, it’s a social event. It’s something that we share with someone else. How often do you laugh when you are alone vs. when you are with someone else? It’s rare that we laugh when we are by ourselves. Laughter is our way of sharing amusement and happiness with those around us.

When using humor to build attraction, you don’t want to go overboard. Too much laughter can put you in the friend zone. Laughter is particularly effective when there’s an awkward silence, a lull in the conversation, or you are meeting resistance.

If you can make her laugh, all her objections, awkwardness, or boredom are forgotten. She’ll let go of whatever negative thought that she had and simply remember that you made her laugh.

Eye Contact

There are a few keys to making successful eye contact with a woman. First, start off slow. Begin by making eye contact 25-50% of the time. As things continue to go well, keep giving her more eye contact.

When you look away, look at another point of interest. Don’t let your eyes just wander around the room. This can be taken as “shifty eyes”. Shifty eyes indicate that you are either insecure or hiding something. Be sure to look away with purpose, and fix your gaze on something interesting. A painting on the wall is a good example.

The second key is giving the right type of eye contact. Direct eye contact can be sexy, friendly, or aggressive. When you make eye contact with a woman, your eyes should be warm and friendly. If you are in a good mood, this should naturally come through in your gaze.

Have the slightest hint of a smile on your face when you gaze at her. You should be smiling with your eyes as well, and maybe crinkling the corners. You should also make eye contact with her before you speak. When you see her, hold eye contact for a few moments. Allow the tension to build, and then go into the slow smile.

Sexual Innuendo

Sexual Innuendo is another way to build attraction. The purpose of sexual innuendo is to get her mind on sex, without coming right out and mentioning sex. This allows you to bypass the logical part of her brain that tells her she should behave, and brings the part of her mind that really matters into bed with you.

One way to use this is to tell her a funny sex story about a “friend”. Keep it light and humorous. Here’s an example. My friend met this girl that he really liked. They hit it off and they went to her place. They were about to have sex when “bam”, her dad walked in. Turns out she was on a break from college and staying with her parents. He ended up running down the street with his clothes in his hands.

Another way to do this is to use words that have double meanings. The top keywords here are wet, hard, mouth, and inside. You don’t have to use these words in a sexual manner, either. Just use them in conversation, and let her mind do the rest.

“I love the first bite of a juicy burger. The feel and taste of it inside my mouth is like heaven.” Totally innocent. Right? But it will get her thinking about having something of hers inside your mouth.

You have to be careful with sexual innuendo. Go overboard, and you’ll come off as rude, juvenile, or crass. Done right, however, it’s another way to turn her on without coming right out and saying something sexual to her.

What No Really Means

The campaign to convince men that “no means no” has done a great disservice to both sexes. There are so many times when no doesn’t mean no. In many cases, it means try harder or convince me that you aren’t trying to sleep with me.

In both cases, she wants to sleep with you, but she’s not ready to give in yet. If she says no to your request with a smile, a blush, or with her eyes downcast, the message isn’t no. How hard you work to sleep with her directly affects how desired and valued she feels.

She may also want plausible deniability. Plausible deniability means that she needs to be able to pretend that she doesn’t intend to sleep with you. This keeps her from feeling like a slut and being judged as a slut by others.

Never ask her if she wants to go to your place to have sex. Give her a reason. Any reason. You want her to meet your puppy. You want to show her your record collection. Nearly any reason besides sex will do.

Once you are back at your place (or hers), things can just happen. But she has to be able to act like she didn’t go there to sleep with you. If she wants verbal reassurance that you aren’t trying to sleep with her, give it to her. You just want to hang out with her. You want to talk to her and get to know her better.

Crowdpilot: Your Virtual Wingman

All this advice is great, but what happens when you are out with the girl you are trying to sleep with and need advice? There’s now an app for that. Crowdpilot allows you to ask people for advice in real time.

You’ll select the situation, in this case date. You’ll choose who you want to answer the question. You can choose your Facebook friends (awkward), random people, or hire someone for the rock bottom price of 99 cents.

Then you’ll ask your question. How do I impress her or get her turned on for example. Enable your phone’s microphone and lay it on the table. The phone will broadcast your conversation to the people who will give you advice. You’ll then start receiving pieces of advice from the people you’ve selected.

Legally, you are encouraged to let the other person know that they are being listened to. Of course, that would be a very awkward first date conversation. If you choose to use Crowd Pilot, just keep it discreet.

Recap

This is a lot of info, so let’s recap the basics. The most important thing is to be in control and confident. Show this attitude through your body language, eye contact, having a plan, and tone of your voice. Understand that she wants sex as much as you do. She just wants you to work for it so that she feels desired and valued.

Focus on building trust during the early phase, but don’t wait to start flirting and teasing her. Use your facial expressions, mirroring, protective touch, and going to two different places to help build trust. Be a little vulnerable and evoke feeling with your conversation.

Build attraction with eye contact, teasing, touch, laughter, and sexual innuendo. Create a little uncertainty by making false statements and using push/pull. Know when no doesn’t mean no. Offer her plausible deniability. Use Crowdpilot if you feel like you need on the spot advice, but don’t get caught.

Have fun and be the best version of yourself. Remember that looks, money, and power are all secondary to your personality in a woman’s eyes. Don’t pretend to be someone else. Just be the most confident, witty, intelligent version of you.

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