It seems like in today’s society we are being fed two contradicting messages regarding love and relationships.
On one hand, romantic Hollywood movies and TV shows are portraying love and romantic relationships as the pinnacle of life. Something you can’t live without, and if you live a single life, you are destined to be alone, miserable and lonely. Monogamy is shoved down our throats from every possible angle.
On the other hand, casual dating and casual sex is considered normal and a norm if you want to experience a healthy sex life. Proponents of casual sex say how humans are not wired for monogamy. They say that every monogamous relationship will eventually become boring and a breakup is inevitable.
The truth is that finding casual sex has never been easier than today. With hundreds of dating websites like
casual sex is really easy to find. All that is required of you is to download the dating app and start swiping.
What Do the Numbers Say?
Surveys say that 60% of men and 40% of women cheat on their partner in a monogamous relationship.
Those numbers are maybe not 100% correct but they are not far from the truth. The truth is that people cheat on their partners in relationships because they want to experience sexual variety and excitement.
Casual sex is a fun way to explore your sexuality and experience sexual variety and excitement. But monogamy is the best choice for people who want to start a family and eventually raise children in a healthy environment.
But what if you don’t have to limit yourself only to those two choices and you can combine the two?
Is there a way to be in a happy, committed monogamous relationship, and at the same time enjoy casual sex with other people, together with your partner?
According to people who live the swingers lifestyle that certainly is a valid option. They enjoy the sexual variety by having sex with other people, and at the same time enjoy the love which monogamy offers. They are effectively having the best of both worlds and they report how their love lives have never been better.
But who exactly are swingers and, what is a swingers lifestyle?
Swingers lifestyle is not anything new.
People who’ve enjoyed the swingers lifestyles can be traced all the way back to the ancient times. That is not something new. But we are more interested in our modern times and how that applies today.
According to the stories, the swingers lifestyle originated and gained the popularity during the world war 2 among military pilots. Pilots families were living in the same place, in the military bases. That meant that they were very close to each other.
Because soldiers experienced the same horrors of war together they were very close, like brothers. Because of that, they had an unspoken rule that when a pilot was killed in action, other pilots took care of his wife and kids. That also meant taking care of someone else’s wife in a sexual way.
What Exactly is a Swingers Lifestyle?
Swingers lifestyle is more commonly known as swinging, wife swapping, partner swapping or open marriage. It is a lifestyle where partners who are married or in a relationship engage in non-monogamous sexual activities with other individuals or other couples.
They engage in sexual activities with other people with full knowing and consent of their partner. In most cases, they do the sexual activity together and even encourage each other.
The swingers lifestyle became popular in the 1960s during the hippies and free love era.
The lifestyle became popular because of invention and widespread of contraceptive methods like contraceptive pill. Also, the fear of sexually transmitted diseases was minimal because of availability of treatments for common STDs.
Swingers community often refers to itself as “the lifestyle”, “alternative lifestyle”, ” wife lending” or “community of women”.
How Does a Swingers Lifestyle Looks?
When people hear the term swingers lifestyle the first thing that pops into their mind is something like a 24/7 orgy. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, the truth is that swingers swap partners and have sex with multiple partners in some cases but that doesn’t mean they have sex all the time.
Many swinger couples report that they have sex just as much as regular couples. Sometimes though, maybe once or twice a month they have sexual experiences with other people also interested in the lifestyle. That means that they maybe don’t have more sex than the regular couples, but they certainly enjoy more sexual variety.
The most swinging activities happen when friends with similar interests meet in informal gatherings like house parties. The people involved that way are in most cases intimately familiar with each other and they consider themselves friends.
Swingers Clubs are Very Popular
Swingers also meet each other in swinger clubs. Swinger clubs are reserved only for people who live the swinger lifestyle, or people who want to try it. They often have theme nights where a special dress code is required.
Entrance fee for swinger clubs is free for women and couples in some cases, but not free for single people. The reason is that they want to encourage more couples and women and less single guys.
People often mix up swingers clubs with strip clubs, but they are not even remotely similar. In the swinger clubs, people actually have sex in front of each other, or in private rooms. In strip clubs, single men can pay dancers to strip and give them a lap dance and that’s about it. Sex with dancers in the strip clubs is not allowed.
People interested in swingers lifestyle can meet others also in swinger resorts, on swinger cruise ships, and in hotels.
Swinging is a big industry and there is a lot of choices for someone who wants to enjoy the swingers lifestyle.
Swingers websites are also gaining popularity, so today you have a big number of dating websites that cater to the swinging audience.
Why do People Get Involved in the Swingers Lifestyle?
Swingers are not some special breed of people without feelings or morality who have orgies with hundreds of people 24/7. In most cases, they are your every day normal people. They are married or in a committed relationship with the only difference that sometimes they have sex with other people.
They share the similar opinions on monogamy and they think how humans are not programmed for monogamy. A lot of times in monogamous relationships people are suppressing their sexual urges and sexual fantasies. They are simply afraid to share that sexual side with their partners because of fear. They fear being judged and ultimately losing their partner and their relationship.
Swingers know this and they openly communicate their sexual fantasies with their partners. This way they can fulfill theirs and their partner’s fantasy without cheating. They talk about it openly and participate in the sexual acts together. That also serves as partner’s that binds them together even more.
Married men report that they are not participating in the swingers lifestyle to find a new wife. They are already happily married and in love with their wives. Their reason for swinging is to satisfy their cravings for sexual variety and to avoid having sex behind their wives back. That way they can both enjoy sexual variety while having sex with different people, avoid cheating and make their marriage bond even stronger.
Women who are involved in swingers lifestyle report that they are more secure in their relationships and marriages. They are not living in fear of their partner leaving them for someone else. Swinging with their partner makes them even more in charge of the relationship and bond with their husbands stronger.
When asked how is it possible for them to have sex with other people without feeling jealousy and insecurity, they say that the trick is to separate sex from love. They are fully committed to their partners and their love bond is a top priority. Sex, on the other hand, is viewed only as sex, a physical activity, and pure enjoyment. The icing on the cake if you will.
Seeing things in that light makes their relationships only stronger over time.
Where to Find Partners for Swingers Lifestyle?
A large majority of swinger couples are married people or people in polyamorous open relationships.
That is the easiest way if you want to get involved in the lifestyle. You just have to find a partner who is open to the idea and talk to them about it.
Couples have an extra benefit of getting a free entrance in the clubs, but not all the time. It depends on the club policy and rules. Couples and single women are always welcomed. The goal is like in any other club that the number of women always outnumbers the number of men.
Options for Single People Who Want to Try Swinging
Getting into a swingers club as a single man is a bit harder. Entrance fee is higher and sometimes you won’t be allowed to enter at all, at least without a formal invitation from the clubs regulars.
Girls, on the other hand, are always welcomed and entrance for them is in most cases free.
If you are a single man or a woman and you want to find a partner for swingers lifestyle, and in general, more information on the lifestyle, the best website for that is Swinglifestyle.com
There you can get the best up to date information on swingers parties in America. You can also visit their forums, get involved in the community and ask whatever questions you have.
As a single, this could be the best opportunity to research more on the swingers lifestyle and meet a potential partner.
Another option for single people who want to try swinging is to meet people on regular dating sites and apps and be very direct and open on what are you looking for. Be honest that you want to find a partner also interested in the swingers lifestyle.
You also have a big list of dating sites designed especially for people interested in swinging, open relationships, orgies, and all kinds of kink.
How to Choose the Right Swingers Website or App
There really are no any special rules for choosing a right type of dating website. It all depends on what are you looking lot different.
Some websites like Swinglifestyle are better if you are interested in attending swinger parties and high-end swinger events.
Other ” more regular” dating apps and websites like
are better if you want to take things slower. They are not necessarily for swingers only but the volume of people on those dating websites almost guarantees a person of similar taste and interest. The most important thing is to set up your profile in a way that doesn’t leave any doubt in what are you searching for on the site.
Your choice also depends on what you prefer in the terms of the dating website. If you like classic interface and functionality with a lot of options you will like OKCupid a lot better then Tinder with its modern interface.
Your choice will also depend on are you willing to spend a few dollars for a paid dating site, or you’ve decided to use only a free options. Free options are in most cases enough to play around. But if you are really serious about your dating and sex life, paid subscription sites are a much better choice.
Pros and Cons of Swingers Lifestyle
Lower rates of STD’s
contrary to the popular belief involvement in the swingers lifestyle is not considered a high-risk behavior. At least not considered any more high risk than someone who enjoys casual sex.
The rates of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies are lower among swingers then in the general population. The reason is that swingers are more informed on STDs and the use of contraceptive methods among swingers is a must.
Less lies in the relationships
People who are involved in the swingers lifestyle are in majority of the cases married and they participate with full consent, full knowledge and full encouragement of their partners. That means that swingers experience less lying, less drama and less jealousy in their relationships.
- Happier relationships and marriages
Reports from anonymous research that took place from the 1960s- 2000s show that swingers report overall happier marriages and relationships. Swinger couples say that swinging improved the quality of their relationships.
- More exciting sex lives
Swingers report that their sex lives are more exciting then before they became swingers. They also report that their hunger for sexual novelty has been more than satisfied.
Many swingers report that they have experienced stronger bonds and met lifelong friends in the community.
- Less negative emotions
People involved in the swingers lifestyle experience better emotional control. They learn to control their feelings of jealousy and insecurity and learn how to separate sex from love.
- Moral objections
As much as our modern society has progressed towards more liberal views on human sexuality, swinging is still considered not normal and immoral by the majority of people. One such critique comes from the religious communities which say that swinging is adultery. They also consider monogamy to be ideal for marital relationships and raising a family.
Biggest objections for swingers lifestyle are health issues. People think that swingers are more prone to catching sexually transmitted diseases, although there isn’t much difference then with people who enjoy casual sex.
Some swingers practice sex without protection also known as barebacking. That practice could make them more open and vulnerable to STDs and unwanted pregnancies. But when that is the case, a prior std checks and health reports are mandatory.
In 1992 7% of swingers quit swinging because of HIV and AIDS epidemic and have since then became more selective in their sex partners.
Best Dating Sites and Apps for People Interested in Swingers Lifestyle
These are in our opinion the best dating sites to consider for someone interested in the swingers lifestyle.
Swinglifestyle is one of the largest and most popular online swinger communities in the United States.
You can register for free and after creating a free profile you gain access to their community.
By becoming a member you get a lot of features and benefits and you can search for swingers in your local community and anywhere in the country.
You have options to contact other members via email and instant messaging. Also, you can also participate in the forum discussions and join different groups on the site.
You can find and join a club on the site, which is another great opportunity to meet other couples who are also into swingers lifestyle.
Opportunities for vacation swinger resorts and swinger cruises are also updated regularly on the site.
Plenty of Fish is not a swinger dating site per se, but it is one of the largest and most popular dating sites in the world.
It gets around 30 000 new members every day. For someone looking for a swinging partner, POF could be an excellent opportunity.
With a large user base and its functionality X match is a great choice for swinger singles, and swinger couples looking for a quick match.
Friend Finder X is a great dating site geared more towards quick casual sex and hookups. An excellent dating site for everyone interested in exploring their niche fetishes and fantasies.
Kasidie is a dating site and online platform for swingers. It is best known for its “sexometer” feature- an option where you can like and rate someone’s explicit sex photos.
An excellent option for swingers and anyone interested in becoming one.
SDC is certainly not new dating site. It is active since 2000 and it is one of the oldest and best online swinger communities.
Their reputation is strong and they are proud to have real and quality members. They also organize SDC exclusive events.
Swingtown’s interface is very similar to Facebook’s interface.
SwingTowns is an excellent tool for people interested in swingers lifestyle, singles looking for threesome experiences and people looking for polyamorous relationships partners.
Local Sexy Swingers has a very large user base and offers entertaining sex-based quizzes, similar like on OkCupid. They can help you to profile your search and find other people also interested in swingers lifestyle, threesomes, and hookups.
Adult friend finder is one of the best online dating sites with the best reputation. It has over 50 million active users and they are all there with one goal in mind: to find sex and hookups.
Also a great dating site for everyone looking for fellow swingers and partners for threesomes.
Rules when exploring the swingers lifestyle for the first time
Whether you are in a strong committed relationship with your partner or you are single and just curious about swinging, swingers lifestyle is not something you wish to just jump into.
It is best to first explore a bit, talk with your partner and set some ground rules. Otherwise, there is a big chance that someone’s feelings are going to get hurt.
Communicate and establish ground rules
It is one thing to imagine your partner having sex with somebody else in front of you and a whole different thing to experience it in real life.
What is acceptable to you and what isn’t? Are you comfortable watching your partner having sex with someone in front of you? What if that other person is of the same sex as your partner?
If and when you are having sex with someone else, are you using protection?
Those are the questions and scenarios you must define with your partner before you even step into a swingers club.
Discuss everything with your partner. If you are jealous say it. If you don’t like some rules and want to change them say it.
Better to be safe than sorry.
You can always say no
When someone approaches you in the sex club you always have the choice to participate or not. If it is your first time and you are still on the fence, just say it. Be respectable towards other people but don’t be afraid to say that you are not ready for something. After all, you can always just watch and not participate if you don’t feel like it.
Be respectable to others
If you are in the club watching someone else having sex, and you want to join them, be polite and respectable and ask them first. Read the situation and be patient. If they are open to play with you, you will get a green light.
Be social in the swingers club
If you expect to step into a club an immediately get some action, you could easily be disappointed. Swingers clubs are not a lot different than regular clubs. You will need to approach people, chat them up and be a normal social person. If and when you feel chemistry with other people action will happen.
Let your woman set the rules
If you are a man and you have a wife or a girlfriend who wants to try swingers lifestyle with you, congratulations. You have a keeper. So don’t pressure her and make her uncomfortable.
Let her relax before and let her lead the way. When she is ready you will know it and she will be thank you for being such a gentleman.