Let’s say you’ve got your eye on a women at work or at school and your simply infatuated by this women. You cannot keep your eyes off her and she is part of your thoughts most of the day. You think she might have something for you but your not sure.
What do you do? Most guys will stew over the decision of when and how to ask her out… they will second guess themselves and as a result their confidence about the whole situation hits an all time low.
There is another way – you can ask a women out with zero chance of rejection. It’s all about how you ask her and in what context… rather than asking her outright can we go out? Or can I go out with you?
You take it slow and establish a)friendship then b) chemistry over time and then when you know she is interested you suggest to take things further. But rather than asking if she will agree to go out with you – you give her little choice… she is then so infatuated by you she would jump at the chance.
So rather than asking her out like a salesman try this more modern and rational approach – You are required to demonstrate that you’re an attractive and fun guy to be with. You need to give her little choice by using chemistry building and attraction triggering techniques.
How To Ask A Girl Out
Well before we go into what you should do lets’ rule out what you shouldn’t do:
Dont ask a girl out (yet) if your:
Aware that the girl doesn’t know who you are
Not aware of her relationship status
A women will say yes to a date with a man she feels comfortable with. Expecting her to give you a yes or no answer on the spot is just asking way to much. Even if she wanted to go out with you , your putting her on the spot – if she says yes she might be portraying herself to others as being easy.
Dates are supposed to fun: If she thinks that in any way the date will be awkward or weird she’ll say no.
Have you had any negative associations in the past with the women in question? The first few encounters will set the scene. You want your associations to be filled with humour will maintaining a relaxed atmosphere. Tension and social awkwardness will ruin your chances of getting the yes in the future.
Rather than focusing on the yes or the right time to ask just let it come naturally. Ask her about her passions and hobbies. Let her know that you are interested in what she has to say.
Establish a caring relationship first – but one that is filled with a touch of sexual tension… this is of course different from social awkwardness. Sexual tension is exactly what you want to instil in this girl.
You want her to feel a little nervous and flustered in your presence. (a sure sign she would be interested in a date)
This indicator that she is having a hard time in your presence is one you should look out for. Don’t go asking her to go out straight out of the blue – she’ll be thinking… wow…
who is this guy?
She’ll be happy somebody is showing an interest in her but a little freaked out it came so randomly.
If she is completely at ease it indicates she is not that worried if she makes a fool or herself, a great thing for a friendship but not so great for a potential girlfriend.
In your haste and urgency to get this women in your arms you might find yourself overlooking some crucial female emotions.
Asking a girl out has a lot to do with TIMING…
don’t go popping the question when she is chatting with her friends. But do ask her out if you notice that she is flustered in your presence and seemingly waiting for you to take the first move.
Do ask her out after your first kiss. Do ask her out if you think SHE is feeling some chemistry.
You can feel the chemistry and she might be completely uninterested. Usually though if your feeling something she will be to!
NOTE: If you feel like the situation is getting a little awkward then SHE will be thinking the same thing. You can almost read minds with this stuff.
Bring up how awkward it is in a joking manner and the tense atmosphere will be eliminated immediately. She will be thankful you understand and took charge to dissipate the weird energy.
Don’t be afraid to flat out ask her how she feels about you.
Sarah… how do you feel about us/me?
If she is nervous to answer she is into you – if she comes back with a quick “we are just friends” then you know not to progress further.
So now we know to only ask a girl out when we have first established some sort of connection with her first.
Now we need to know how to trigger chemistry and attraction…
If you get her talking about herself you are on the right track as far as getting her interested in you.
But what you really want to do is play around with some seduction techniques.
This chemistry stuff is tough to explain effectively in words, so here is a quick video from my friend Richard who knows a lot about this stuff. If it’s not your kind of thing that’s fine.
Get more chemistry techniques from Richards stuff at pua training
-tongue and cheek romanticism
-how to ask a girl out
-stacking the romantic
-NO verbal compliments (interesting) (7:40-8:30)
By not mentioning any verbal compliments you are keeping the power (but you do show them physically and non verbally)
NOTE: sometimes no matter how hard you try with women they are just not going to “feel” it (this is not your fault). You will be stuck in the friendship zone despite your best efforts. As david deangelo from double your dating suggests – Attraction is not a choice. She has no say in the matter of who she is attracted to and therefore you should not beat yourself up for not being able to convince her otherwise. If she has told you she is not interested you are going to have to move on. Even if she wanted to like you her emotions and “heart” will not let her.