The call to action when you are out trying to attract and date women is usually the phone number…
But most guys screw this up by saying – Can I have your number?
They also screw this up because they say it way too early and with absolutely no authority at all. What they effectively do is hand over whatever authority they had and give all the power to the women to decide.
Not only does this ruin your image but they now have to say yes or no. It should never have to come down to them saying either yes or no.
David D mentions over at
that it is a great idea to skip this whole dated phone number thinking and actually ask for their email instead. Now this is a great idea because everyone has email and most people check email regularly.
Using email for dating is slightly more low key and women feel a lot more comfortable giving out this than there personal number.
A great extension of this email approach rather than asking a women for her phone number is to simple say – Are you on facebook? Most people have facebook accounts which makes getting in contact with people very easy. This is also a great way to break the ice and not kill your chances with her early by going straight for the throat and asking for her number.
You can always ask for her number once she has added you to her friends list – or give her your number in an email…
Hey… You might remember me from last night
I’m pretty busy this week but give me a call later in the week and we can catch up
This low key approach does a number of things…
You have assumed the sale – You have used authority to assume that she is interested and have not given her the chance to say no. This confidence stimulate attraction in women.
The Ball Is Now In Her Court (not literally 😉 ) – the pressure is now on her to respond and make the call. If she doesn’t it’s not loss for you it was only a 2 minute email out of your time. However it’s very likely that she will respond and you
will have her number and your first date – all effortlessly executed with no pressure and no let downs.
So when you are out and you feel the pressure to take things further with women do not feel as though it should be a “big move”. You don’t need any special “close” or “frame control”, simply ask if she is online anywhere/ fb/myspace/twitter/email and then go from their.
She will feel much more respected as a women at you not diving in. Women like time to talk with their friends about you before they decide they want to take things further.
Going for the phone number straight away could put the fire out before it had a chance to really burn hot.
Try email instead of phone number dating… You will be surprised at the response.