How To Increase Your Libido: The Complete Guide

If you are young and you experience a low sex drive there is certainly something wrong with your diet or your lifestyle.

But no worries, those are all things in your control. You can tweak only a few things and experience a big transformation.

Today, we are living very fast paced and stressful lifestyles. That and unhealthy diet are great recipes for low libido.

What exactly is libido?

Libido is just another name for your sexual desire or a person desire for sexual intimacy.

As we are getting older we will go through different periods in our life. Sometimes our sexual desire will be strong, sometimes almost nonexistent.

Researchers have found that there is a difference between men’s and women’s peak of sexual desire. Boys will reach their peak sexual desire when they reach eighteen and it will slowly go downhill from there.  And girls when they are near thirty.

Many factors have a big influence over our sex drive, from our age, our lifestyle, relationship status with our partner or even medication we are using.

Those factors can be placed into different categories like biological, psychological and social.

Biological factors

Our hormones play a big part in regulating our sex drive. The main hormones in men and woman are testosterone and dopamine.

In men, testosterone is the main fuel for  sexual desire and if testosterone is lower than normal men can experience lower desire for sex. Testosterone production naturally slows down as men age, and after 30 it’s production drops down 1-2 % per year.

Also, lower levels of dopamine can also affect libido in a negative way. Especially if we abused dopamine receptors in our brain with excessive drug use, porn use, alcohol and other artificial ways to feel good.

Social factors

Social factors like our work and our family life can have a big influence on sex drive. Working too much can produce unwanted stress and worry.  Taking care of our kids and partners takes a lot of time and effort. After all that we can forget we even have a desire for sex.

Psychological factors

Our personality and the way we perceive sex will also have a big influence on our sexual desire. Also, the way we handle everyday stressful situations

Why is sexual desire so important?

libido

If we want to have meaningful love relationships in our life, sex will be a very important factor. Sex is the most important and the most influential way in which couples bond. Through sex, we can achieve deep love bonds. Sex is like a glue that holds couples together.

If we look backward and analyze our most intimate love relationships, we can see that they all started with strong sexual attraction. At the beginning of every relationship sexual desire is at its highest. Everything is new and exciting and our libido is working at its full potential.

As the relationship progress sexual desire for our partner will inevitably slow down. That doesn’t mean that it will vanish overnight completely, but over time it will slow down and return to normal state.

If during the relationship our libido and our desire for sex with our partner changes, that can cause unwanted problems.

Our partner can sense that we are not so hot for them anymore and that can cause them to commit infidelity.

It is important to always talk with our partner. If you sense that your desire for sex is low, it is good to talk with your partner about that.

There is no reason to be shy about it. Libido is a complicated thing and as we will see many things can cause it to slow down.

With good communication, we can avoid many problems and be open and honest about what we are experiencing and feeling.

The Biggest Libido Killers

If you ever experience a loss in sexual desire there is probably a good reason for that. Many factors can influence our libido and it is best to analyze our lifestyle and habits and make some changes.

The biggest libido killers are:

Stress

Our life today is very fast paced. We are constantly in a hurry, swamped with work and all kinds of obligations. We must take care of our family, children, work, finances, health, friendships and every day we are bombarded with thousands of information.

All of that causes enormous stress to our body and that can have very negative influence and cause unwanted consequences.

Stress is called the silent killer. Maybe we will not notice immediately that our body is stressed and tensed, but after a while, it will take its toll. Stress will affect our energy levels, concentration, focus and the desire for sexual activity.

When our body experiences a lot of stress, it slowly releases a hormone called cortisol. When that happens our body enters a state called a fight or flight. It is a survival mode and our body prioritizes our survival after everything else. The name says it all- fight or flight.

In that mode, survival is the number one priority and sexual needs are placed at the bottom of the needs list.

So if you are experiencing a lot of stress lately, take notice of that.Learn some relaxation and stress management techniques like meditation, yoga or deep diaphragm breathing.

Low testosterone

Testosterone plays a big role in the regulation of our sexual desire. If testosterone is low it will affect our energy, mood, and libido.

It is normal for men to experience a gradual fall in testosterone as they get older. It decreases 1-2 % every year, but with proper nutrition and healthy habits, like exercise and stress management we can increase it or at least regulate it at the same levels.

You can also talk to your doctor and he can prescribe you testosterone replacement therapy. It is not uncommon today. Test replacement can be in gel, tablets, patch or injection form.

Erectile dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction is a very common problem today, and a lot of men experience it. But having problems with your erection doesn’t mean that you have low libido. On the contrary, you can have a high libido and have problems with erectile dysfunction. And vice versa, you can have a low libido but you can still maintain an erection.

The problem is when a man experiences an erectile dysfunction for the first time. Next time when sex occurs he can develop a performance anxiety. As the anxiety rises, a man can have problems with his erections and his libido can quickly go downhill.

In that case, it is mostly psychological and can easily be treated. Your doctor could prescribe you erectile dysfunction pills like V or C. They will help you to achieve and maintain an erection and help to reduce your anxiety.

Obesity

When someone is obese, it is a general sign of bad health and physical fitness. Obesity can cause a lot of problems like heart problems and high blood pressure and ultimately decrease your testosterone and sexual desire.

A study showed that obese teen boys have up to 50% less testosterone than their non-obese peers. One reason for this may be that fat cells contain more aromatase, an enzyme that converts testosterone to estrogen.

Taking medication

Medication is easily available today and every day more and more people are using some form of medication.

Some forms of medicine can greatly affect our sex drive.

  • antidepressants
  • high blood pressure medication
  • oral contraceptives
  • chemotherapy
  • hormonal treatment

Depression

Depression can cause many unwanted problems, like apathy, lethargy, loss of appetite, bad sleeping patterns and even insomnia.

It takes all joy from the things and activities that we previously enjoyed. It also reduces our sexual desire, especially if you are taking antidepressants.

Lack of intimacy

If our relationship lost the intimacy and connection it once had, it can greatly reduce the desire for sex.

Lack of intimacy especially affects women but with a bit of effort, it can improve. Women need to feel intimacy and closeness and if that is somehow lost we will deprioritize our sex life.

Try spending more quality time together. It doesn’t have to involve sex at all. Try more kissing, cuddling and talking. Relaxing intimate massages can do wonders for improving intimacy with your partner.

You can also go on a date like in the beginning. Try something new, break the boring routine and your sex drive will improve quickly.

Bad Sleeping Habits

We all know that feeling when we are underslept and tired. Sex is the last thing on our mind.

Sleep is important if we want to feel well rested and energized, and if we are low on sleep our testosterone will plummet. We will feel tired,  fatigued and as a consequence, our libido will decrease.

Raising a baby

Couples who are raising a baby will certainly agree that it is very tiring and time-consuming. Although it’s a very beautiful thing it can be a great source of stress.

Taking care of the baby is like a full-time job and it will affect your sleep, social and love life. You can feel like you don’t have any time for sex or intimacy.

It’s very important to take a break sometimes and find a little bit of time for yourself and your partner to restore the intimacy.

Drugs and alcohol

We all know that drugs and alcohol are bad for your health. Some drugs can increase your desire for sex while you are using them, but after the high is gone all you are left is a hangover and a bad mood.

Alcohol can also be used as an aphrodisiac in some cases but it is important to limit the usage and be responsible.

A glass or two of wine can help you to relax and make the night with your partner more intimate, but more than that can have the opposite effect.

Eat This Foods to Boost Your Libido

Certain foods have been used for centuries as aphrodisiacs to boost libido and make love life spicier.

These are not some exotic foods that are hard to find and buy. You can find them in almost every supermarket. Simply include them in your healthy diet plan and reap the rewards.

They will give you more energy, increase your vitality and increase your libido levels through the roof.

Spinach

Spinach is a healthy green, rich in magnesium.  It contains mineral that decreases the inflammation in your blood vessels and helps to increase your blood flow.

Eating spinach will help to improve erection in men and help women to reach orgasm much faster and easier.

Dark Chocolate

Dark chocolate is a well known and most popular aphrodisiac. It is known for centuries for its mood enhancing properties.

Dark chocolate stimulates the production of serotonin and dopamine in your brain, and make you more happy and relaxed.

Eat only a few pieces a day and greatly reduce your stress levels.

Hot Peppers

Hot and spicy peppers will make you sweat a lot, speed up your metabolism and increase your heart rate.

Eat a few of these and increase your blood flow tenfold.

Just be cautious and don’t forget to wash your hands. Getting them in your eyes or more intimate parts could be very unpleasant.

Garlic

Garlic is most famous for its nasty smell. But some people don’t mind it.

It was used even in ancient Egypt. It helps to combat the formation of new fatty deposits called nano plaques in your arteries.

Combine garlic with rigorous exercise and your erections will be better than ever.

Just watch out for your breath.

Green Tea

Green Tea is also used for a very long time, especially in some Asian countries. But in the last decades in has become largely popular in the West.

Green tea contains compounds called catechins which help in destroying your belly fat, give you more energy and increase your blood flow.

Catechins cause blood vessels to release nitric oxide. That in turns causes blood vessels to increase in size which improves blood flow and enables you better and harder erections.

Oysters

Oysters are full of zinc which is responsible for the production of testosterone.

Oysters will give you more energy, help with the production of muscle and give you a better overall sexual performance.

Ginger

Ginger is a sweet and spicy food that will also help to increase blood flow to your lower extremities.

You can boil it with green tea or eat it with your favorite sushi.

Seeds

Nuts, walnuts or pumpkin seeds. Every seed is rich in some important vitamin or mineral.

Pumpkin seeds are great if you are zinc deficient. Eat a spoonful a day and it will increase your testosterone production and calm your nerves.

It contains Tryptophan which helps with the production of serotonin.

Fatty Fish

Fatty fish like tuna, salmon, and sardines are full of healthy omega 3 fatty acids.

They benefit your heart and raise dopamine levels in your brain. You will feel more relaxed, centered and connect better with your partner.

Fruits

Bananas are rich in potassium and they work as the countermeasure to salty foods. Too much salty food is not good for your arteries because they decrease the blood flow.

Another good and cheap source of potassium are potatoes of any kind.

Watermelon relaxes the blood vessels and improves your circulation

Blueberries decrease the risk of erectile dysfunction and improve blood flow for better and stronger erections.

Red wine and coffee

It is not a coincidence that wine and coffee are the most popular first date drinks.

The wine has magical effects of calming you down, increasing your blood flow and putting you in the right mood for some love making.

Wine works so well because it is a great antioxidant. It triggers vessels to produce nitric oxide which widens them and produces stronger ad harder erections.

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Best Libido Supplements

L-arginine

A very popular dietary supplement full of amino acids which increase production of nitric oxide. It’s is proven to help with maintaining erections.

Pine Pollen

A very strong and potent libido and testosterone booster.

Take 2-3 tablets a day and your desire for sex will skyrocket.

Maca Powder

Maca powder is a very powerful superfood used for centuries as an addition to an already healthy diet.

It’s full of beneficial nutrients like protein, vitamins C, B, Calcium, Iron, Potassium, Copper, Manganese and Fatty acids.

Combine Pine Pollen and Maca and within an hour you will transform into a sexual beast.

Korean ginseng and Indian ginseng

It is recommended to take it 10-30 minutes before sex. It will produce a rush of blood flow to your genitals. In the long run, it will help to produce testosterone levels and keep them balanced.

Indian Ginseng is a well-known aphrodisiac that reduces the inflammation and stress, calms the nervous system and balances the immune system.

Horny Goat Weed

Also used in ancient China for centuries. It’s great for improving the sexual desire, preventing erectile dysfunction and chronic fatigue.

A very specific compound in the herb prevents the blockages of blood flow to the penis.

Tips for couples

If your relationship is now in the phase where sex slowed down or your bedroom hasn’t seen action in days or months, maybe it’s time to try something new to spice things up.

It would be best if you could talk with your partner openly. Tell them how lately you are under a lot of stress and that you want to try something to awaken your sleepy sex drive.

There are a few things you could try together and even make them into a challenge.

The -no orgasm- challenge

For 10 days, you and your partner are only allowed to kiss, touch and massage each other. Sex, masturbation, and orgasms are forbidden.

Make it a challenge and try to reach the 10 days mark. After 10 days reserve a whole day only for the two of you, lock your doors and enjoy.

You will be surprised with the results.

Go out together with each other friends

Boredom and routine can be a big sex drive killer. If you are home on your couch every weekend, watching Netflix and eating popcorn, it’s time to change something.

Seeing your partner in a different location and different circumstances could help you to see them in a whole different light and reveal their new attractive traits.

Try tantric sex and massage oils

If you are used to quickies on a couch or a good old missionary in your bedroom, tantric sex could open a whole new world of pleasure for you.

The goal of tantric sex is to prolong the sex as much as possible and delay orgasm and ejaculation.

Add some sensual massage oil and scented candles for romantic mood in the mix, and you have a great recipe for a sexy time.

Explore your fantasies

If you are fantasizing about something specific that you would like to try with your partner, but you are always too shy to tell them, now is a perfect time.

Talk openly and encourage each other to share. Then be courageous and try something new and exciting.

Conclusion

We can see that there are many factors in play in regards to our sexual desire. If we are experiencing difficult times lately and want to awaken our libido like it used to be, we must take things into our hands and change our habits for more healthy ones.

So just follow some of these tips and greatly improve your desire for sex

  • get at least 8 hours of sleep
  • drink more water
  • eat healthier foods like fruits and veggies
  • take a multivitamin and other dietary supplements
  • exercise at least 3 times a week – join a gym and do some compound exercises like squats, deadlifts, and bench press, or try running
  • learn to relax better
  • set goals for yourself and increase your confidence.
  • go on more dates with your partner
  • explore your sexual fantasies and spice things up