The Trouble With Casual Dating…
Relationships can be very very complicated – we are not talking about a simple x + y = z equation here, there are multiple emotions that interact with each other and as you learn more about yourself and your casual dating partner even more complexity is added.
You need not feel as though your not handling your emotions very well – not many people do handle them well… because you cant control and deal with what you don’t understand.
The idea of casual dating is great but when it’s put into practice it invariably falls apart. This is usually because of the emotions that are established as a result of casual sex. Knowing someone so intimately and then trying to act like you don’t care about them plays on your mind.
You don’t know if they are seeing other people and feelings of jealousy start to creep into a once purely sexual relationship.
So how do you keep a casual dating relationship JUST casual?
The more often you ring text and see her the more you will care about her outside of the bedroom. If it really is just casual dating then their should only be contact at 11:30 at night on a Wednesday every second week… this allows you to remain distant.
Sexual contact has a way of brining two people close together no matter how different they are. Keep the sexual experience “distant”… Meaning that you avoid kissing on the lips and any sort of passionate loving sexual expression. This will drastically reduce the enjoyment and you may realise that you are not that into casual dating.
It’s amazing how often I hear and come to realise how little is said between two people that are in a relationship. It’s also shocking how many white lies are fabricated by one partner to keep each other happy. This all leads to trust issues and communication break downs.
Open communication (being blunt) is very important in a casual relationship. You might feel uncomfortable talking about the status of your relationship but if you don’t bring it up it’s going to lead to complications.
Set Clear Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries for the relationship might seem like you are going to far but it will help. It doesn’t have to be a written declaration… just let your casual dating friend that you don’t want to be contacted during the weekdays or at home. They will respect your boundaries and if they don’t you know that you should move on.
Even with these rules – remember that it’s not in your control – you are taking the risk of feeling for this women that you are seeing with no strings attached.
You might like to think that your emotional wall is impenetrable but it’s NOT.
If you have ever broken up with someone you will understand how delicate your feelings for someone can be.
Double your dating suggests that attraction is not a choice – what it is referring to here is the fact that you cannot control who you feel attracted to and how elusive emotions can be. So it’s really just a heads up or a “I told you so”… your stepping into murky waters with this casual dating business.
image: Roland Darby