photo by mdanys
Are you trying to hard to impress women?
Are your efforts with women analogous to the rat on an exercise wheel?
If you are having any problems at the moment with impressing women enough for them to be attracted to you – there is a good chance that you have it all confused in your head.
You might be trying to impress women with a job title (or working hard at being recognised via a title) but sadly your missing the point of what really impresses and turns women on.
There is a lot more to this game that just having a fancy title but there is also more to it than one article can describe but I’ll try my best in the time I have. One of the characteristics you need to attract women is sexual confidence.
There are some hidden tactics that men use to attracted women with sexual confidence. Few men understand how to initiate and grow the sexual tension with any chance of rejection or failure. This is simply as a result of a different mindset.
These guys use humour wit cocky comedy style and negs amongst other techniques to pre qualify women and test the waters before attempting any sort of of sexual confidence routines.
But that’s all silly “PUA” talk an doesn’t make sense to most guys just looking to impress the women of her dreams naturally.
Read on to discover the secret to impressing women with LESS effort than you are currently using.
This secret is actually staring you in the face and you might even know it already but the trick in the implementation and timing.
Don’t get frustrated and scoff at the answer when you discover how to impress women because it is actually much harder to implement in real life than you think.
Do you have a really strong desire to IMPRESS women? Do you try to show off in front of them and perform certain acts that you might think will impress them? Do you try to predict what THEY want you to say so that you can be more alike. Do you buy them endless gifts and praise them at any chance you get?
Men love to impress women
– it’s just what feels natural to alot of guys but in reality it’s working against your chances.
The problem with wanting to impress women is the anxiety that comes with not wanting to screw the whole thing up! It’s really is obvious when you see a guy on a date with a hot women and he is sweating balls trying not to put a foot wrong.
There is just no way he is ever going to pull this girl because he has already screwed it up. Did you catch where he screwed up?
He already displayed low value by putting her so high on his priority that he didn’t even want to mess up one thing with her. It’s so counter intuitive but what you really want to do is to be so confident that messing up wont hurt your chances one bit.
Women want to know that you could take em or leave em on the first date and it wouldn’t hurt your chances with dating other women.
I know it seems weird but read up on some evolutionary biology and you will soon realise that it all comes down to survival and reproduction. She wants the alpha male no matter what bullshit she’s telling you.
If you display to her that she’s the only dam chance youv got of pulling this weekend you just fucked it up right there and then.
A bit scary but it should also be EMPOWERING
You see in the knowledge that it doesn’t matter if you screw up a whole world of possibilities open up. The only real trick you need to learn then is how to save yourself after you mess up.
Well the truth is you don’t need to save anything you just need display a dominant enough character to her so that she realises you couldn’t care less if she noticed you stuttering or messing up your sentences.
Just continue on right through the nightmare of the approach with the confidence in yourself to believe that…
OF COURSE SHE WOULD WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME…
Now some guys really SCREW this part up and just come across as douchbags. This is the guy you DONT want to be. He tries to be confident and he IS to a huge extent but he goes about it from a negative set of value cantered principles.
He will end up going in and out of relationships and be a washed up old C grade quarter back with one of the cheerleaders.
So when you feel the need to say cool things or fashion outrageous stories to get her to like you STOP:
photo by mikebaird
When you start to:
Talk about your world of war craft ranking… STOP
When you get WAY to formal in conversation…STOP (you want to be relaxed and conversational/ not caring)
Create stories in your head about the outcomes of certain iterations of your conversation STOP
Predict what she wants to hear (usually ends up in you sounding like a dick – because you get it WRONG) just say what you are thinking, it’ll usually resonate with her and if it doesn’t you’re not meant to be together anyway.
Take things easy and NEVER tease or use cocky comedy to your advantage. This usually involves you never being risky and as a result the date is boring/ lacking sexual chemistry.
Are you always on your best behaviour?
Sadly in your attempts to impress women you extinguish the aspects of your personality that is attractive about you. Your ability to be somewhat rougish – teasing – dangerous – comic – natural – dominant and genuinely intelligent.
This natural drive to impress women is normal but don’t forget that it makes you act UN-NATURAL. The more unnatural you act the worse you success rate with women. The MORE natural and laid back you act the more success you will have with women.
The real secret to impressing women and really starting to attract them is to…
This doesn’t mean that you let yourself go and end up looking like hobbits:
Long hair, baird, jeans and sneakers, old 90’s skivvy, pen drive attached to the keys around your neck you know the deal.
It DOES mean when you are actually on the date you don’t try to impress her… AT ALL.
All you need to focus on is just being yourself and asking interesting questions. Now it’s much harder in the moment of course and if you have not practiced you might screw a few things up and start getting all formal but as long as more than 70% of your date is relaxed you should be roses.
The great thing about women is that they are such great flirters… The want a guy they can chase seduce and flirt with themselves. They only get triggered into this FAP or fixed action pattern after your IRM (innate releasing mechanism) is present.
Your IRM is your dominant confident funny and relaxed personality. If you have to actively TRY to be like that then youv gotta do what youv gotta do but just don’t TRY to impress her by being all serious and predictive.
Remember her fixed action pattern will be AUTOMATIC no matter how ugly you are nor how HOT she is!
Her fixed action pattern will be the signs of female flirting
And it will be triggered AFTER your dominant personality triggers the IRM. Do not expect her to be attracted to your role in society or the money in your bank. Or though men in high places are attractive to women they do not real sexual attraction.
So where to from here?
We have established that talking about computer games with hot women won’t get her in bed. We have established that you need to act natural in order to trigger her attraction in the form of her Fixed Action Pattern which is any more than 5 of the 21 signs of female flirting.
You now know that trying to impress a women doesn’t impress her
You know that your resume or gpa isn’t worth shit in the world of dating (well haven’t you been lied to then)
Well you need to learn how to act natural around women of course.
You are most likely intellectually sound but your inner emotional game is all sixes and sevens. You cannot control the emotions of fear or the fight/flight response which is triggered in the presence of hot women.
You NEED to be able to control these things.
You will have been sold the idea that you can be that confident sexy and easy going guy overnight with one magical pill but the truth is you need to work at it over time. Good things take time and seducing attractive women certainly is a good thing.
The reason why trying to impress a women by being someone that you are not is wrong is pretty obvious really: but yet most guys simply cannot help themselves. They are driven to do things and act in certain ways that just don’t help them.
When you try to impress a women she gets the impression that you believe she won’t like you for who you are unless you try to be someone different.
Begging the question what kind of man are you anyway and why are you not being honest with me? Hot women expect some kind of awkwardness but what they cant stand is someone faking it to try and impress them.
ACT NORMALphoto by big-ashb
When you try to hard to impress women you are indicating that you unable to act normal around her.
You also indicate that you have had very little experience being around other hot women and so are not pre-selected. This is almost like having a lack of social proof going for you.
If no other women is interested in you why should she be? Women defiantly take notice of how many other women are looking at you.
This is why men with girlfriends get a lot more attention than guys with out. Pre-selection is a big deal for women.
By having to act differently around women it indicates that you are insecure about your ability to make it happen
If you are unable to make a women feel comfortable in your presence you have to take on an alternative personalty. Naturally this comes across terribly appetising for the women in question.
It is the sad reality of many guys forays into the seduction world. Most guys end up in marriages where they are not fulfilled as a result of never attracting the right women for them.
Women really are pro’s at cross checking your words with your body language an can instantly spot any incongruence.
You want to be completely congruent in all of your actions.
The point is that you have a massive chance to impress your next date by choosing to take on the OPPOSITE stance to what MOST guys take. You are not alone here so don’t feel like your getting crucified. But also don’t feel like this ISN’T you just because you have had a small amount of success with women.
Try to spice up your next date with the OPPOSITE:
Of normal boring conversation
Of trying to impress
Of never being risky
Of not using cocky comedy to lighten in mood.