Many western men nowadays are looking overseas to find their partners. The reasons for this change of scenery are various, but the one basic theme undergirding them all is that local women no longer have what it takes to be a good girlfriend or spouse. Of course, lumping all natives into a single category is clearly unfair, but it has reached a certain point where men do not want to take any chances. They would rather risk packing their bags and moving abroad than face the odds of getting involved with the wrong girl.
Is it true, however, that foreigners make better wives, or is this just another stereotype? Are women from different cultures fundamentally the same or does the environment really cause us to change at a deeper level? Is the grass really greener on the other side of the border? We’ll find out all these answers and more in this article.
What is International dating?
International dating is a general term that describes a person – usually a man – who goes abroad with the intention of finding love with someone who does not share his own race, culture, or nationality. This implies that the man has long-term commitment in mind as opposed to having one-night stands with a bunch of exotic females (often called sex tourism). Many websites have cropped up to cater to this group by providing them with packaged tours, visa services, and language translators so that the process goes much smoother.
Why should I be interested in international dating?
If you’re having a hard time dating locally, a change of scenery might benefit your game. Likewise, many men who go on business trips or vacations like to combine their journeys with the potential for finding romance, hence the interest in international dating. Still, others are simply fed up with their culture and would rather seek out a partner from other parts of the world where the upbringing is vastly different. Whatever your case may be, finding a girl outside your comfort zone and national border may benefit you, so it’s worth giving it a shot.
What makes eastern women different from western women?
West and east might be too broad of a category to define certain groups of women, but due to the philosophies that have developed in both sides down the centuries, certain attitudes have been ingrained that make European and American women different from their Asian counterparts. Although each person is unique, the following traits are more or less adhered to by the majority:
- Independence versus interdependence – western women prefer independence, especially when it comes to matters of career, largely because of the feminist movement that started in the early twentieth century. Many American and European females prefer to hold down jobs in their twenties and thirties, postponing family responsibilities and marriage in exchange for personal financial opportunities. It is also common practice to break off from parents at an early age, living on their own from as early as 18 years old. On the other hand, eastern women are typically more family-oriented. Kids often do not move out of the house until after marriage. In many cases, old relatives who can no longer take care of themselves are taken in by their kin rather than get shipped off to a nursing home; most households have many people living under one roof in a commune-type setup. The family holds primary focus rather than the self, so eastern women will often sacrifice personal ambition if it stands in the way of improving the family.
- Liberal versus conservative – the majority of women in the east hold to conservative values. Religion is still a primary force, and the teachings of the church concerning restraint, piety, and chastity still hold sway. Authorities are often held in high regard, as well as love of culture and country. On the other hand, many western women hold to more liberal values that prioritize freedom, diversity of groups, and post-modernism. There is often deep suspicion about the state and the church, as well as resentment towards any kind of teaching that seeks to limit liberty or point towards an absolute truth.
- Mixed roles versus traditional roles – women in the east still cling tightly to traditional gender roles. This means that they expect the man to work for a living, providing the family with food on the table and money to pay the expenses, leaving her enough time and energy to take care of the kids and make sure that the house is kept in order. Women in the west view this homemaker role with much contempt, even criticizing it as a form of servitude or slavery. They would prefer holding down a job of their own too, oftentimes alongside or superior to the man, while kids are usually left in the care of nannies or grandparents so that both mother and father can pursue their careers.
- High divorce rate versus low divorce rate – marriage is still an important institution in many eastern countries. Divorce is considered taboo and carries a lot of social stigma, and there are even some nations who outright ban it. For this reason, many women will try to make the marriage work due to the high amount of backlash she will likely receive if she ends up separating from her husband. In the West, marriage does not have the same importance as it once did. Divorce is fairly common, with close to half of marriages ending, and the majority of which within the first five years.
- Sexualized versus non-sexualized – the sexual revolution and modern feminist theory in the west have basically eliminated the adherence to reserved behavior, especially among women. It is common to find sexualized performances on TV shows and other public events, something that would have been shocking 50 years ago. In the east, however, traditional forms of self-restraint still exist. Even though eastern women are just as sexual as their western counterparts, they still frown upon exposure and will dress appropriately for the occasion. Publicly talking about sex is also something that the general culture frowns upon.
- Gender sensitive versus non-gender sensitive – the workplace and academic situation in the west is often suffused with rules that seek to limit or prevent any sort of gender discrimination. This includes not only hiring policies but also behavior; jokes about women, even in private, is seen as a form of sexism and is highly frowned upon. Likewise, any type of suggestion that men and women are fundamentally different is often met with resistance and even hostility. In the east, it is still pretty much the norm that the sexes have core differences that can never be overcome. It’s not uncommon to find companies that blatantly state a preference for one gender over the other. Likewise, crude jokes are taken with a grain of salt; eastern women often recognize that men have their own way of communicating, hence they have a higher tolerance for “locker-room talk”.
- Low poverty rate versus high poverty rate – many countries in the east are third world, therefore the women there are often hardened to the struggles and realities of a difficult life. In this sense, they are better able to cope with setbacks due to the grinding poverty they face every day. Even middle-class eastern women are still considered poor by western standards. On the other hand, their American and European counterparts are used to everyday comforts that are taken for granted such as running water, electricity, and so on. When disaster strikes, most of them are not prepared for it and often rely on the government to help them out of sticky situations.
What are the advantages of dating foreign women?
There are distinct advantages in international dating. The following are the top reasons:
- Beauty – obviously, there are many local women who are beautiful, but if you’re looking for something specific, then foreigners can offer many things in the physical department. Skin color is often different as well as genetic facial features. For example, many Asians have narrower eyes and flatter noses than their western counterparts. If these are the type of characteristics that you desire, then you’d best be served by traveling abroad rather than trying to find someone who has them in your local area.
- Cultural values – some men find it hard to belong to their own country. For example, they may be strictly conservative but grew up in a very liberal area. In this case, finding an equally conservative woman would be difficult. One way out of this mess is through international dating. There are many countries abroad that would be a perfect match for your own cultural inclinations and many women that share your same worldview.
- Change of scenery – it’s not just the women that men are after; oftentimes, moving to another country reinvigorates their adventurous spirit. If you’ve been living in the same place for the past fifty years, then it’s pretty hard to feel excited about dating, especially if the people around you are the same faces you’ve seen since childhood. A change of scenery might be the only solution that puts the spark back in your life.
- A fresh start – finally, some men see international dating as a big reset button that allows them a do-over. Many of these men have had rough experiences such as a divorce or a general lack of social options. They do not want the baggage associated with having to date someone from their hometown, so they look abroad where the people don’t know them and will not judge them based on their past mistakes.
What are the disadvantages of dating foreign women?
International dating isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, unfortunately. There are still some dangers that will creep their ugly heads to ruin your experience. You just need to watch out for these:
- Green card hunters – many women from third world countries see western men as their ticket to America or Europe. They will want to get married in a hurry, not because they are in love, but because they want the man to take them back to his home, apply for a spousal visa, and then dump him once she gets her citizenship. Now, many women who are genuinely in love can also want a green card, so merely desiring to immigrate isn’t exactly a red flag in itself. You just need to make sure you’re worth more to her than your nationality.
- Gold-diggers – just like green card hunters, you will be seeing women who are mainly into dating western men in order to escape from poverty. There is a common misconception that men from America and Europe are loaded with money, even though only a few are probably well off. However, in terms of third-world standards, the average western Joe is considered a bigshot, and many gold-diggers will be looking more at his wallet rather than his heart.
- Family interference – unlike the west where independence is a prime virtue, interdependence rules many eastern countries. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. The good news is that you’ll likely receive extra support and expand your social network through close-knit family ties, but the bad news is that you’ll be expected to supply help when a relative of your date falls ill or runs into trouble. It’s not uncommon for the parents or siblings of the girl to ask you for financial help or other means of assistance, and the family expectations can prove to be a huge burden for many men unaccustomed to this type of setup.
- Culture shock – the same breath of fresh air that you gain from experiencing a different culture can prove to be a deal breaker as well. Many western men are simply unprepared for the vast differences in principles and values of eastern women and vice versa. Most of the time, this is often colored by unrealistic expectations of the other. Some people aggravate the situation by vastly praising foreign women as infinitely superior to their local counterparts, when in fact they have their own flaws as well. In order to sidestep this issue, both parties have to make sincere adjustments for the other.
What country should I go to?
Although you could technically go to whichever country you wanted, there are certain things that you need to keep in mind:
- Visa requirements – many foreign nations have loose tourist requirements while others are tightly controlled. You will need to check out the respective embassies of these countries or their government websites for a more detailed look at their customs and immigrations policy. The last thing you want to do is overstay your visit or accidentally break a law that could land you a hefty fine or worse. If you have never travelled before, consider visiting places that are much closer to home so that the barriers for entry aren’t that drastic.
- Language troubles – obviously, you will want to visit places that can speak your local dialect. Many countries in Asia do not have English as their primary language, so you will have a hard time if you go there. It’s difficult enough to attract and date women from your own city, but it becomes downright impossible if you can’t even communicate with her. There are many online resources such as Wikipedia that you can check out to make sure that the country speaks your own tongue or at least has a rudimentary understanding of it.
- Expenses – based on their natural resources and economy, some countries have a more expensive standard of living while others are dirt-cheap. If you don’t have a lot of cash on hand, try to go to nations that won’t put too much strain on your wallet. Even in third world countries, there are usually many places that can cater to the middle and upper-classes at an affordable price, so don’t be too worried that you’ll be forced to rough it out. On the other hand, if you’re loaded and don’t have a problem with greenbacks, then feel free to spend as much as you want.
- Culture shock – the advantage of immersing yourself in a different culture can also prove to be a disadvantage. Culture shock is a difficult experience, and oftentimes you’ll be exposed to embarrassing situations just because you do not know how to behave like the local population. It might be beneficial, therefore, to begin your international dating journey on countries that have somewhat similar cultures to yours. Too much divergence will disorient you and ruin your dating experience. It also helps to stay in a foreign country for a few days or weeks before trying to court women just so you can acclimatize yourself to the local customs.
- Dangers – some countries are rife with terrorism, crime, and civil unrest, so be sure to stay away from them. Risking your life is not worth it, even in the pursuit of finding a good partner. However, if you are quite familiar with the region and know which places to go and which places to avoid, then you can give it a shot. Just keep your presence of mind, check with your local embassy, and make sure there are some people who know where you are at all times just in case something goes wrong.
Is it possible to start a relationship before I visit a country?
Not only is it possible, but it’s encouraged that you try to develop a relationship with women first before hopping on a plane bound for their place. With the advent of the Internet, this is no longer a problem. Online chat or video conferencing will allow you to get a glimpse of their faces and a taste of their personalities prior to making some kind of commitment. Remember: leaving on a trip isn’t easy. The last thing you want is to be underprepared.
How can I maximize my results on a foreign trip?
In order to create a lasting experience that’s worth every penny you’re going to spend, make sure that you do the following:
- Meet with more than one woman – this means that when you’re ready to board the plane, you should have a list of at least three women that you plan on meeting. This is a safeguard to ensure that you still have other options just in case one of them bails out or isn’t quite what you expected. Obviously, you do not want to meet and date all of them simultaneously (unless you want a broken jaw)!
- Bring plenty of cash – this may depend largely on your budget, but it’s better to bring more than you will spend because unexpected emergencies or purchases may crop up. For example, your date might want to go out to the town more than you planned on doing, and this requires some dough. Also, it’s just plain common sense to have a little bit extra with you on foreign trips.
- Coincide it with your vacation – there is always the chance that your prospective dates might not show up or turn out to be a bore. If this happens, then it’s easy to chalk up the whole process as a failure. However, the trip can still be salvaged if you also use this time as your regular vacation period. When you’re in a foreign city, it’s not just the women that you want to visit. There are a lot of historical sites, natural wonders, and cultural events that you can immerse yourself in. Make international dating just one slice of the whole pie, and the dessert won’t be ruined if that portion happens to go sour.
- Stray off the beaten path – it’s easy to go out on familiar tour destinations, but when you’re in a strange city, part of the fun is just exploring the place on your own. Not only will this bring out your adventurous spirit, but it can lead to some surprising times. Even though you might already have a list of girls you met online, your real date might be a complete stranger that you meet on one of these random detours, so don’t be afraid to go out of your hotel, talk with strangers, and stray off the beaten path.
Assuming I found a potential mate, what should I do next?
It’s not uncommon for guys to fall in love with a foreign woman, but because of the problem of separate nationalities, there are usually only three options available to you once you find the girl of your dreams:
- Bring her back to your home country – this is a bit tricky, especially if you come from North America or Europe. Many nations belonging to those continents have strict visa requirements, and chances are you’ll be waiting several months if not years to accomplish the necessary documents for a citizenship. Another option is to marry her, which would allow you to apply for a quicker spousal visa, but be warned that you should at least give it a couple of years before putting a ring on her finger. It’s easy to get swept up in a whirlwind romance and brush aside patent flaws in her character. A wiser option would be to make her your girlfriend and visit her periodically (or she could visit you as a tourist). If you’re still together after two years, then it’s probably a good sign that she’ll make an excellent wife, and you can now bend the knee and commit.
- Relocate to her home country – this is a faster way if you just can’t wait to move in with her. Many eastern countries have loose visa requirements because they have much to gain in terms of tourism, so relocating on a semi-permanent basis shouldn’t have too many barriers. In fact, this might be a good option while you are waiting for her visa requirements to pull through so that both of you can move back to the west. The downside of this method is that you’ll be separated from your friends and family, and possibly your job as well. Many eastern nations simply do not have much career opportunities, so unless you are self-employed, you will probably be unable to secure a decent profession. Also, as mentioned before, do not be surprised if her extended family wants to live with the two of you. This is a common setup in the east and may irritate westerners who thought that they could be alone with their girl without any outside interference.
- Maintain a long-distance relationship – if the previous two options are not feasible, then you just have to make the relationship work over the thousands of miles separating the two of you. The obvious disadvantage is that the lack of physical intimacy can kill the romance. In fact, it’s practically impossible to maintain a long-distance relationship unless there is the hope of direct contact in the near future. Women who want to raise a family will simply not put up with prolonged time apart, so if you’re planning on going this route, make sure that you visit her every couple of months and state clearly that this setup is only temporary while you’re waiting for visa requirements to pass.
Are there agencies that make this process smoother?
Yes. In fact, since international dating has grown over the years, companies have cropped up that are seeking to attract customers. If you do business with them, you usually get one or more of the following services:
- Basic chat and email – many dating websites have adopted the social media stance, which means that you can sign up, develop your online profile, and begin sending messages to women who are also using the platform.
- Documentation – if you intend on taking a trip abroad, many companies will often go through all the trouble of applying for your needed documentation in whatever country you’re planning to visit.
- Guided tours – most companies offer guided tours around the city for you and your date.
- Transport – this often involves a cruise ship, allowing you to visit multiple countries in a short period. Of course, the price tag can be hefty.
- Food and lodging – most accommodations come packaged with hotel reservations.
- Coaching – some websites will provide personal coaching when it comes to the actual dating process. This can involve a makeover, charisma classes, and courtship advice in order to increase your chances of attracting a woman.
- Translation – for those countries where English is not common, a professional translator can assist, helping you to communicate with your date.
Most of these services come with a price tag, but the basic chat and email deal is usually free and will suffice for those who do not want to spend anything. However, men who are serious about settling down with a foreign woman might need the other bundles as well. They will cost you, so make sure this is absolutely what you want to do before busting out the credit card.
What are the top websites that can help me with international dating?
The following websites are known for being the best in their field:
- Love Me
- International Cupid
- Elite Singles
- Western Men
- Single Men Online
- Dates Abroad
- International Dating Academy
It’s not easy to get a date nowadays. If you’re someone who’s always had difficulty attracting women, the problem may lie with the location, not the people. Try international dating so that you can broaden your horizons and meet girls who are a different breed than what you’re used to. Who knows, you may find out that you belong more on the other side of the world than the land of your birth. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain by going on this adventure.