When you just happen to meet women in your day to day life, they will be more comfortable and open. This can allow you to be more successful with women without even trying.
This isn’t another post about how to successfully meet women through the traditional method of going out with the intention of meeting them.
These are habits that you can incorporate into your life that will allow you to meet more women naturally.
Why It Works
Women get hit on. A lot. They are naturally guarded, particularly when they are expecting to be hit on, at bars and clubs for example.
As a man you’ll have to struggle past these defenses to get a conversation going.
You’ll have to decide what to say. Try to be interesting and not creepy. And hope that she responds favorably. Even if she does, you’ll need to put forth the effort to impress her or prove that you aren’t just another asshole.
Now imagine just running into a girl as you go about your day, at the grocery store for example. You want to talk to her, so without thinking about it too much, you ask for her advice on what to have for dinner.
You start talking, and before you know it you are engaged in easy conversation. When you ask for her number, she gives it to you without overthinking. She is at ease.
You won’t need pick up lines because conversation will happen organically. Things won’t feel pressured or forced, and you should both be more relaxed and confident during the encounter.
Best of all, you don’t have to spend time and resources with the goal of meeting women. You just have to adopt some new habits that are good for you, with meeting more women being a great bonus.
Being dateable is a great way to meet more women. These habits will keep you presentable and dateable, not only when you are going out on a date, but in your day to day life.
- Proper Grooming
- Be a gentleman
- Remember stories
- Talk to people
You never know when you will meet a woman that you will be interested in. One sure way to lose your chance with a girl is not being properly groomed when you meet.
Since the goal is to meet women naturally in your day to day life, you should be presentable each time you leave the house.
No matter where you are going, before you leave the house you should have on clean clothes that make you feel good.
It doesn’t have to be fancy, but you aren’t going to want to walk up to a girl and start a conversation wearing a shirt with stains from last nights dinner.
You should be clean. Clean hands and face. Hair that’s clean and brushed. Brush your teeth. Make sure you smell nice.
When you take these simple steps before going out, you will feel better about yourself. Self care is a huge confidence booster, and it only takes a few minutes of your time.
Be a Gentleman
Treat people the way that you would if you were trying to impress a girl at all times. You never know when someone’s watching.
Acting like a gentleman will feel more natural and genuine if it’s something you do all the time. Women can usually tell if you are acting a certain way because it’s what you do, or whether you are acting that way to try and impress them.
You should be treating people with kindness and respect at all times because it’s the right thing to do. But if you need more motivation, it will certainly score you points with the ladies.
Hold doors open. Offer to help someone with their groceries. Be polite. Tip your waitress. A little extra effort will improve your mood and boost your confidence in addition to making you more dateable.
Remember Interesting Stories
Part of being dateable is being able to hold a conversation. One way to do this is by remembering funny or interesting stories. It can be about you, a friend, or something you heard on the news. If you find it interesting, file it away for use in conversation.
One of the best ways to become more attractive to women is to be more interesting. One way to be more interesting is to be a good storyteller.
Practice with your family and friends. Watch how they react when you are speaking. Are they paying attention? Do they want to hear more?
If they don’t seem engaged when you are speaking, try adding more emotion and details to your stories. Talk about things that you enjoy and are passionate about.
Reading gives you topics to talk about and makes you look more intelligent. If you don’t enjoy reading or you don’t have a lot of time, try audio books.
Going to bookstores or the library is also a great way to meet women.It’s easy to start a conversation about a book they are reading.
This allows you to connect with each other by sharing a common interest, which will make them more comfortable and interested in you.
Talk to People
Practice the art of conversation often. Strike up a conversation with someone as often as you can. Don’t just talk to women you are interested in. Talk to everyone.
One of the most daunting parts of meeting women is the initial conversation. When you routinely begin conversations with strangers, it becomes much easier to do.
Each time you have a positive interaction with someone, it boosts your confidence and makes it more likely that future conversations will go well.
Exchanging a smile, a nod, or just a polite hello can give you a big boost. It makes you appear and feel more friendly and approachable as well.
Living Your Best Life
When you are happy and content with your life, you are naturally more attractive. People will want to be around you.
Do you dream of being one of those people that others gravitate to? To be respected and envied because you seem to have figured out a secret about life that others haven’t?
In addition to helping you meet women, these habits will help you to find happiness and fulfillment in your life.
Your Best Life:
- Reduce screen time
- Pursue passions
- Enjoy yourself
- Take initiative
Reduce Screen Time
Technology can help you meet women. You can try online dating and chat with women online. However, you should limit the amount of time you spend online or in front of the TV.
It’s so easy to lose track of time and waste a big chunk of your day watching Game of Thrones or playing Candy Crush.
Apps and even dating sites are designed to do this. They are similar to casinos. They both take measures to get you to lose track of time, stay longer than intended, and get addicted so that you keep coming back.
There are so many worthwhile things you could be doing. I’m sure you can think of several things right now that you would love to do “if you only had the time”.
One of the best ways to limit screen time is to use apps that monitor and/or limit your screen time for you.
Space monitors your usage and allows you to set goals, letting you earn badges for meeting your goals.
App Detox lets you set limits on your usage. You can even set it so you have to walk to earn screen time.
Another reason why limiting screen time is so important is because you need to live in the moment and be engaged with your environment.
If you spend your time out and about staring at your phone, you are going to miss out on what’s going on around you. You won’t be able to meet women if you can’t put your phone away.
Pursue Your Passions
Pursuing your passions will help bring happiness and fulfillment to your life. When you are happy, you are naturally more attractive. Women will be drawn to you.
Pursuing your passions can take many forms. It may be a new hobby, a course on a new skill, or a new career. It may mean making time for something you already love but haven’t made a priority.
If you aren’t sure what your passions are, there are a few ways to find them. The first, and simplest, is to simply sit down and write a list of the things you love to do or that you’ve always dreamed of doing.
You can also take tests designed to help you find your passions. The Find Your Passion in Life quiz only takes a few minutes and will help give you an idea of what your passions are.
Identify Your Passions is a bit longer and requires you to write out your answers. However, the answers will be more personal to you and potentially more helpful.
It seems simple, but making an effort to enjoy yourself as you are living your life can make a huge difference in your outlook, confidence, happiness, and attractiveness.
Enjoying yourself is about having a mindset that says “I’m going to enjoy the things I do and experience today”.
It’s about taking time to do things that you really enjoy, but it’s also about enjoying yourself no matter what you are doing.
We all have bad days, and you are never going to enjoy every moment of your life. However, having an enjoyment mindset allows you to enjoy most of it.
No matter what you are doing, try to find something about it you like. When a tough situation comes up, try to find the positives of it or something funny about it.
You should also live in the moment. Don’t miss out on enjoying what’s going on because you are too busy looking ahead or behind. Be in the present.
Volunteering has some surprising benefits. It makes you feel as though you have more time, and it’s proven to make you healthier and happier. In addition, it helps you become more confident and empathetic.
It’s important to volunteer for the right reason (you genuinely want to help people). If you are doing it simply for personal gain, you won’t experience much benefit from it.
The benefits of volunteering should be looked at as a bonus, not as your motivation for doing so.
You can also meet women while you are volunteering. Someone that shares your passion for a particular cause can make a great partner.
Focus on building friendships with those you volunteer with. Do not try to get dates while volunteering, because women will assume that this is why you are volunteering.
However, if you strike up a friendship with someone you’ve met while volunteering and things naturally move beyond friendship, it’s perfectly acceptable.
There’s a lot of debate these days about who should take initiative in meeting people and relationships.
Today’s women are empowered and perfectly capable of making the first move. However, there’s a lot to be said for the traditional approach.
If you like a woman, you should never wait for her to make a move. Why would you?
When you take the iniative and approach them, you are showing them that it’s worth the effort. You are also showing them that you are confident and mature enough to see what you want and go after it.
There’s no reason for you to sit and hope that the girl you are smiling at will walk up to you and say hi.
It’s not just about being a confident alpha male (which is the type most women are attracted to).
It’s about taking charge of your life and what you want, and not waiting around hoping someone else to give it to you.
You should take this approach in all areas of your life, but especially when it comes to dating. If you want something, start taking action to make it happen.
Activities to Meet Women
Now for the part we’ve all been waiting for. What activities can you do to meet women that don’t involve going to the bar and waking up with an empty wallet and a hangover?
The key to all these activities is to do them because you want to. The possibility of meeting women is simply a side benefit that you should take advantage of when it happens.
- Make plans midweek
- Take a class
- Join a club
- Go shopping
- Join a gym
Make Plans Midweek
This one isn’t an activity. It’s a habit that will ensure that you have activities to do. Instead of waiting till the last minute to make plans, make them earlier in the week.
You’ll have a much easier time when it’s not last minute, especially if you plan to go out with friends or on a date.
Making plans midweek can make you feel more confident and less lonely as well. You don’t have to worry about spending Saturday night alone if you already have plans you can look forward to.
There are a few ways to go about making plans. First, you can make a specific plan and then invite your friends and/or a date.
This saves some time because everyone knows what the plan is and you don’t have to negotiate the details.
“Do you want to go (insert specific activity here) Friday night after work?”
The other method is having a specific date and time in mind, and negotiating the activity with the other people you invite.
This works well with friends. You can come to an agreement and do something you all enjoy.
What you don’t want to do is make a vague suggestion and leave it at that, which is the mistake many people make.
It doesn’t hurt to be negotiable on what you are doing or the date you do it, but you should have some type of plan before the conversation is finished, at least in regards to when.
“Would you like to hang out Friday night.?”
“I have plans Friday? How about Saturday?”
“Saturday afternoon works well for me. Would you like to get together then?”
“Sure. That sounds great.”
You’ll notice that an activity wasn’t established, but a general time was. When you don’t establish a time, the activity stays in the ethereal realm of “sometime soon” which in many cases never comes.
Take a Class
Think about the things that you’ve always wanted to learn or improve on. There are classes for everything these days, both online and offline.
For our purposes, we will stick to offline classes. You want to be able to socialize, meet women, and gain some real life experience with what you want to learn. That means stepping out of the house and maybe your comfort zone.
I hear you. “It’s too expensive”. “I don’t have the time” “I’m too old”. However, the benefits you’ll get far outweigh any potential downsides.
It will make you more interesting, boost your confidence, give you something constructive to do with your free time, and give you a valuable skill or knowledge.
Learning something new also puts everyone on the same playing field. It’s one of the few times in our adult lives when everyone starts out at the same level. The bottom.
This helps people to lower their defenses and not take themselves so seriously, which makes women more approachable and receptive.
Be social with the men and women in your class. Chat about what you are doing and learning. When you feel a connection that goes beyond your new found love for making flamboyant, ask them out on a date.
To make it even easier to meet women and get a date, ask them out for a class related activity. If it’s a cooking class, ask them over for dinner so you can “practice”. Learning salsa dancing? Ask them to go dancing with you so you can work on your steps.
Join a Club
Joining a singles activity club can be a great way to meet women. These clubs allow you to meet other singles in a casual atmosphere.
They usually involve some type of activity, so you aren’t just sitting around attempting to have conversations, which can be awkward, especially if you are bit quiet or shy.
Activities also allow you to bond with others and make memories. This is great for making new friends and finding dates. It also helps you avoid the awkwardness that can come from a first date.
You’ve already spent some time together without the nerves and pressure of a first date.
In addition to meeting women and making new friends, joining a club gives you something fun to do.
If you don’t have many friends, just moved to a new city, or have a difficult time scheduling or planning social activities, joining a club is even more important.
There are a few ways to find a singles activity club that you enjoy. First, you can look on Meetup.
Meetup is an app specifically designed to allow you to find groups near you built around a particular hobby or interest, including being single.
Secondly, you can do an internet search. Search for “singles activity club in (your area)”, and you are bound to find a few near you.
Lastly, you can go old school and browse your local classifieds. Most singles activity groups advertise, so you may find them in your local paper.
Today’s technology makes it very convenient to shop online. It may be tempting to skip the store and simply have what you need brought to your door.
However, stores are a good place to meet women. Grocery stores are a classic place to meet women, but it can be difficult to get a woman out of chore mode and into flirt mode.
You may find women more receptive when they are at specialty stores, because they will be more relaxed and not trying to plan a week’s worth of meals in their head.
Clothing stores are a good place to meet women. Ask them for advice on which shirt to buy, and they will happily engage with you.
If you have an interested in health or natural living, health food stores are a great option. Strike up a conversation about the benefits of something they are looking at.
Join a Gym
The gym is another classic place to meet women. Again, it can be difficult to start a conversation because she may be preoccupied with her workout.
The best way to meet women at the gym is to take a class, preferably one with lots of women. Yoga, Pilates, and even Tae Bo will have a lot of women in the class.
This gives you a chance to get to know them and simply be friendly before and after the class starts. After a few friendly hellos, consider asking them out on a date.
Then it will feel like they know you, even if all you’ve done is exchange pleasantries. They will be more likely to say yes, and you don’t come off like a douche that just goes to the gym to pick up girls.
Developing these habits will help you meet women and be more successful with them. They inspire confidence, allow you to practice your social skills, and get you out and living your life instead of waiting for “the one” to come along.