There are many confusing emotions washing around in your head after you break up. Part of you will want to get your ex back while another more adventurous side will want to get other it and start a new life.
You have a very important decision to make after you split with your ex.
Where to go from here?
It will depend on your circumstances – if you got dumped it’s more likely that you will feel compelled to get them back. You will feel lost confused and cheated. You trust your partner and now they have left you in the dust. Much of the pain that comes with getting dumped is because you invested so much in them.
You sacrificed part of yourself to be with them… you compromised and your life changed for the better. Now your alone and without the support that you relied upon. It’s like they never cared about you even though they told you explicitly that they did.
When you get dumped you feel sad angry and beaten amongst many other emotions all at once. It takes some time to get over!
Path #1 – Get your ex back
There are many systems and concepts that will help you get your ex back… e.g. (https://fckme.org/get-your-ex-back) has videos and tips on the subject.
Your efforts to convince your ex back will depend heavily on your situation and the cause of the break-up. Think about it from their point of view – they cant just let you back into their life if you ask them to… It would make them look very silly. You actually have to get to them emotionally.
You have to show them over time that your worth a second chance. If you cheated on them you have some serious trust issues to deal with. If you grew apart over time perhaps you just need to rekindle the romance.
Your attempts to get your ex back may result in some weird emotional backlashes and heated debates. You would be wise to go in with some sort of game plan! For the most part every ex will question their decision to leave you. They don’t want to be alone any more than you do and the decision to leave you was tough for them.
To get your ex back successfully you will have to give them every reason to say yes. start the journey of self development so that in a months time you are able to give them an offer they cant refuse.
Many fears that guys have is the idea that she will go off and sleep with other guys. This is a hardwired emotional response! Do not let the urgency of your fear get in the way of what you have to sort out. Running back to her and pleading that she does not sleep with other guys is insane behaviour.
You cannot control what she does and you never could. It’s just an illusion that relationships provide… there is that sense of safety in marriage that can cause you to stop working on your own hobbies and passions.
If you are starting to feel that perhaps you should just move on you have chosen PATH #2…
Path #2 – Courageously move on
Path #2 is where you act in spite of fear and loneliness and begin the journey of rediscovery. You should be looking to rediscover lost passions… Get out and run more, eat better, travel, start a business, start a new sport, casually date, go out with the boys more…
You will still feel a strong urge to get back with your ex and you will still think of them often. Don’t deny that they were and important person in your life. Try to stay in touch if you can manage it but otherwise the general rule is to remove yourself from their life.
For guys it’s incredibly tough to see their ex with other guys. Most just cannot take it and the pain is not worth it. There are so many other amazing people out there so it’s best to just create a different social circle.
Some can manage it and I would suggest that you try. From experience I have found it’s more of an ideology… you would like to think you can be mates with your ex but seeing them twice a year is about as much as you will see them in the future.
WAYS TO MOVE ON:
Get busy – don’t stay around the house, if you have nothing to do find a new hobby or increase your work hours.
Get moving – exercise is the best emotional reset button I know… use it. If you find yourself going a little mad it’s either because you haven’t gone for a run in the last 4 days or your diet sucks (best advice you received this week)
Meet new people – GET SOCIAL, use the replacement theory… a little casual sex never hurt anyone.