Finding local hookups these days should be easy, with the aid of the internet. However, its easy to run into roadblocks like choosing the wrong site or app, choosing to message the wrong girls, or simply not knowing what to say to them.
If you want to know how to score local hookups without a lot of time and effort involved, this is your step by step guide to doing so .
- Best hookup apps
- Hookup sites that actually work
- Number one hookup site
- How to hookup successfully (choosing the right girls, what to say, etc.)
- How to turn a hookup into a relationship
The Best Hookup Apps
We all carry our phones around 24-7, making hookup apps extremely popular. They are convenient, easy to use, and many of them have special features that set them apart.
Down shows you potential matches from your Facebook friends. You can view ten people a day with a free account, or upgrade to premium to view unlimited friends.
The upside of Down is that you’ll only see people that you have some sort of acquaintance with, which greatly reduces the risk of being catfished. The downside is that you are limited to your Facebook friends.
Down gives you the option to swipe up for a date, Down for local hookups, or to pass by swiping left. Your interest will only be revealed if you both select the same option. Then you can message on the app. Your secret crush will remain secret unless they like you too.
Tinder is famous for being a hookup app. While it’s not explicitly just for local hookups, that’s what the majority of its users are there for. Tinder does have some premium features available, but you can find local hookups easily for free.
Create an account, upload a few photos and a short bio, and you are ready to start swiping. When you both swipe right indicating interest, it’s a match. You can then send each other messages.
Clover combines features from Tinder and Ok Cupid into one app that may meet all your local hookups needs. If you want to unlock all the features, including filtering by physical features and intention, you’ll need to purchase a premium membership. However, the app works fairly well for free as well.
The profiles are detailed without being overwhelming. You can also answer 20 questions and compare your answers with those of others. There is a Like or Pass section similar to Tinder, and you can also create or attend mixers to meet several people at once.
Another stand out feature is the ability to schedule dates right in the app, including the time and location of your date. This can save a lot of time, and can help you stay organized if you go on lots of dates.
Hookup Sites That Actually Work
There are many hookup sites out there, but they are more prone to scams than other dating sites. They make big promises, only to have you wasting your time and money talking to a paid model instead of a real person. Save the headache of scam sites, and use the hookup sites that actually work.
POF, or Plenty of Fish, is the largest free dating site. While it isn’t specifically for local hookups, there is a large portion of members that are simply searching for a hookup.
POF also makes it easy to filter for people looking for local hookups by offering “I’m looking for casual dating/no commitment” as an intention option. You have the option to fill out your profile with lots of details or stick to the basics.
You can complete tests as well, including personality and purity tests. However, these aren’t necessary. Search features are fairly extensive, and make it easy to find what you are looking for. You can also view profiles by online now, new, and my city.
The Meet Me section is similar to Tinder. You look at photos and select whether you are interested. Upgraded members can see who liked them on Meet Me, otherwise you’ll have to match to be notified when someone likes you.
Upgrading offers a few other notable features, including seeing who visited your profile when, message read receipts, and your profile showing up in the top of the results. However, the site is perfectly functional for free as well.
Ok Cupid tries to be more fun than the average dating site. They have extensive profiles, which i recommend filling out for more exposure during searches. It’s easy to filter your searches by the basics as well as the type of relationship you are looking for, vices, and whether they are looking for monogamy.
You can also search by a specific interest. Even if you just want a hookup, having a similar interest gives you something to connect on, which can make things easier.
Double Take is again similar to Tinder, but Ok Cupid shows you their photo and profile information. If you match, you’ll be notified.
You can also answer personality questions. These can be answered a few at a time if you wish, and when you view profiles you’ll see a match percentage based on your answers.
Just like POF, Ok Cupid is functional for free, but there are benefits to upgrading. These include seeing who likes you on Double Take and views your profile, and message read receipts.
Adult Friend Finder
The plus side of Adult Friend Finder is that it is only for people looking for local hookups. You wont have to sort through profiles to find someone who is just up for fun. It has a reputation for being a legit hookup site, and with 40 million members, there are sure to be horny singles near you looking for fun.
In addition to standard dating profile information, you can take a purity test, answer questions about your fantasies, and list your favorite kinks. AFF makes it easy for you to find someone that you are sexually compatible with.
In addition to singles (and likely a healthy number of members looking to cheat on their spouses), you’ll find people into swinging and open relationships on AFF. It’s an accepting community where you can let your kink flag fly, and fine someone who’s flying the same flag you are.
You can upload photos, videos, and get confirmed or verified. This adds more credibility and at least a little bit of safety to the site, as confirmed and verified members are to some extent who they say they are.
You can conduct very detailed searches and send instant or email messages. You can also visit the chatrooms which support video and text. There are chatrooms for a wide variety of different interests as well as geographical regions, so you can have fun online or find someone to hookup with in real life.
In addition to being an adult dating site, AFF is also a social network. Check out member videos, blog posts, and join groups to engage with others who love sex as much as you do.
You can get a feel for the site for free. However, to communicate with other members and access all the features, you’ll need to purchase a premium membership. However, requiring a paid membership to communicate cuts down on scammers and those that are just there to waste time.
The #1 Hookup Site: Adult XXX Date
I stumbled across Adult XXX Date expecting it to be just another scam site. After all, they claim to have over 80 million members, which is double the amount on Adult Friend Finder which is considered the gold standard of hookup sites.
Profiles can be simple, or very elaborate if you wish. Given the amount of search filters, the more complete your profile is, the more you will show up. You can also add photos and videos to your profile, allowing people to get a better feel for who you are (or what you are into).
There are tons of member videos and photos, which are essentially amateur porn. If you want to see the merchandise before you go out or hookup, it won’t be a problem here.
There are also forums and chatrooms where you can chat via video or text. This is a great way to get advice and meet many people at once. In addition to specific interest groups, there are chats by location for those who want to meet someone who isn’t 1,000 miles away.
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In addition to these features, you’ll find all the standard dating site features. Instant messaging, email messaging, and lots of search filters.
The downside is that you can’t do anything without purchasing a premium membership. Even viewing profiles requires a premium membership or buying access to the profile.
However, the prices are similar to other premium dating sites, and they have more features. This makes it well worth the cost of membership.
How to Have Successful Local Hookups
Successful local hookups require more than just the correct tools (hookup sites and apps). They also require the proper skills.
Choosing the Right Girl
On a site like AFF where you know everyone is looking for casual sex, this isn’t an issue. However, on mainstream dating sites and apps, you’ll need to read between the lines. Most girls won’t come out and say they are looking for casual sex on their dating profiles. They do generally use certain keywords to alert you to what they want, however.
Common phrases that indicate a girl is looking for a hookup are:
- I’m adventurous and/or willing to try new things
- I don’t go out much
- I’m very open minded
- I’m looking for new friends
- I’m up for anything
Some women will select a looking for option like casual dating, nothing serious, etc. However, not all women are comfortable making it this obvious. Another key is short term. If it says they are looking for dating, but they’ve selected “short term”, they aren’t looking for a boyfriend. They are looking for sex.
When their profile says they are looking for friends. It’s easy to skip past profiles that claim they are looking for “friends”. After all, you aren’t looking for a friend, you are looking for someone to have sex with.
Have you ever stopped to wonder why a girl would go on a dating site in search of friends? She’s not looking for a Thursday night bridge partner. She’s looking for a fuck buddy or a one night stand, and doesn’t want to look like a total slut. These days there are too many free sites and apps where making friends is the intention for anyone to be on a dating site trying to make friends.
A Picture is Worth 1,000 Words
Pictures aren’t a foolproof guarantee that a girl is dtf, but certain photos make it much more likely that she is.
First, photos of her drinking or partying. This is her way of saying “I’m a party girl. I’m carefree and enjoy having fun”. Most of the time, this means she’s into casual sex as well.
Super sexy photos are another giveaway. Girls posing in bikinis or really sexy outfits generally do so because they are trying to attract guys that are interested in their body.
What isn’t in her photos will also give you a clue. A woman just looking to hookup is more likely to be alone in photos, with the exception being pictures of her partying with her friends.
You wont find her posing with her pet or family member, and you likely wont find many clues about her life in her photos. She won’t be trying to reveal who she is, she will be trying to reveal what she looks like.
No Local Hookups?
Another female dating profile trend is putting “no hookups” or something similar in their profile, particularly on Tinder. Girls do this for a few reasons.
The first reason is the same as selecting looking for friends. They just don’t want to appear to slutty or easy.
The second reason is that they are down to hookup, but not with just anyone. They want to know someone a bit before hopping between the sheets. They want someone to put a little effort into hooking up with them, perhaps take them on a date first.
The third reason is that they honestly aren’t looking for a hookup. You can usually gauge which one of these is the case by looking at her profile and photos. If her profile and photos scream that she wants to hookup, assume its reason #1.
One Tinder study found that men replied to a first message sent by a woman 26% of the time, and girls replied to messages 16% of the time. First off, what the hell guys? Why would you let 3/4 of the women that are clearly interested in you slip through your fingers?
Now onto those 16% of messages that girls actually respond to. Most guys will send an opening message with a variation of hey or how are you. In a way this is good news, because it means that nearly anything you say will be better than most of the messages she receives.
One option is to actually read her profile and send a message that mentions something in it. Something you found interesting or have in common.
Another option is to send a gif. In fact, gifs increase your response rate by 30%. You do need to follow it up with words though, don’t let the gif do all the talking.
Lastly, use humor and or sexual innuendo. This is where dirty pickup lines come in handy. Just be sure that they are delivered with a sense of humor. Emojis can help here guys. Just don’t go overboard.
Don’t Be That Guy
You’ve found a girl and she seems interested in hooking up. We live in an instant gratification culture. Do not be that guy that simply flirts back and forth on the site for a week until she gets tired of waiting for you to ask her.
Once you start messaging with a girl, at the very least get her number in the first conversation. Even better, ask her out. Most girls need some sort of plausible deniability though.
“Do you want to come over and fuck” usually wont work. “Do you want to come over and watch Deadpool 2”, however, likely will. Another way to get a girl to your place is to have a few things around that she would like to see (and no your dick doesn’t count).
It could be a vintage record collection, a star projector, nearly anything that is interesting and unique. This method is a great way to get the conversation started as well, because it gives you something to talk about before you meet and when she arrives.
How to Turn Local Hookups Into a Relationship
The short answer here is don’t. Just forget the possibility exists, and keep your heart well away from your hookup partners. I recommend never hooking up with someone in hopes that it may turn into a relationship, but what if it just happens?
You started out as a hookup, and eventually realized this is someone that you want more with. Can you get from hookup to relationship? It happens more often than you might think.
There’s no exact data available, but experts believe that up to 30% of relationships begin as local hookups. In some cases, these relationships may even be better than those where dating was the initial intention.
Why? When you begin dating someone, you put your best foot forward. You show them the best version of yourself. With local hookups, you aren’t as concerned with their opinion of you. You are more yourself from the beginning.
There’s also much less pressure. The pressure to “make a relationship work” can actually ruin it. When you are hooking up, you aren’t forcing anything. Whatever develops does so naturally.
Signs It Isn’t Just One of Those Local Hookups
The more you do outside the bedroom, the more you are getting into dating territory. This means anything from going on actual dates (even if you call it hanging out) to having conversations about your lives beyond presex small talk.
Another sign is meeting each others friends. You aren’t going to bother introducing your random local hookups to your friends, at least not intentionally. If you make a point to introduce them to your friends, it’s because they have a place of significance in your life.
Do you talk everyday? Are you texting each other or calling every day, or close to it, instead of just when you want some local hookups? Do you tell them how your day is going? Ask them how they are doing?
Are you there for each other when the proverbial shit hits the fan? Do you go to each other when you are having a bad day just to talk about it? Do you see each other even when one of you is sick?
Keep It Simple
If you are seeing these signs in your “hookup”, then you are essentially already dating. Now it’s time to bite the bullet and have “the conversation”. These signs mean that the other person probably feels the same way you do, but there is always a risk of rejection.
If they genuinely don’t want anything more than a casual fling, bringing up your feelings may result in them ending the relationship. In the majority of cases, however, you’ll find your feelings reciprocated in these situations.
You do want to bring up your feelings and desire for a relationship. You don’t want to pressure them or scare them away. The best thing to do is bring it up casually in a conversation.
There are a few ways to do this. The first is serious and honest, yet still a little casual:
- Do you ever think about being in a committed relationship?
- I’ve decided that I really enjoy spending time with you, and I’m not interested in seeing anyone else.
Do not push them to reciprocate if you use the second one. It is a statement of your intentions. If they feel the same, they will reciprocate. This method also gives them a little space to think about it, without feeling like they need to make an immediate deceleration. If they don’t say anything right away, just change the subject. No pressure.
The second involves a little humor:
- You look cold. If you were my girlfriend, then you could steal my sweatshirt.
- Can we skip “the talk” and just decide we are dating now?
- So, 5 years from now, do you see us with 1 child or 2?
The amusing approach doesn’t work for everyone, but it can help keep things light and low pressure. Just be sure they have a sense of humor.
The last approach lets someone else do the talking. Play a romantic song that gets your point across. Songs that mention liking someone and being afraid of telling them can be great for this. Just say something along the lines of “this is how I feel or this reminds me of us” so they get that there is a message.
Another way to do this is to watch a romantic comedy together like Friends with Benefits. This can be a great lead in to a low pressure conversation. Simple questions like “have you ever felt that way” or a statement like “Wow. I can relate to that movie” can be a great way to gauge the other persons feelings and open the door for conversation
What Not to Do
Never try to act a certain way to get someone to want to be in a relationship with you. When local hookups turn into good relationships, it’s because they are allowed to grow and become what they are meant to be without lots of pressure and interference. “Trying” to get someone to be in a relationship with you will likely backfire.
That being said, don’t keep your feelings to yourself either. Once you realize that you want more than just local hookups, you should express these feelings with the examples above or in your own way.
Don’t continue the relationship if you want different things. This is part of the risk. If you are interested in a relationship and they aren’t, you are setting yourself up for heartache if you continue seeing them. And you never know. They might realize they are more interested than they thought they were once you aren’t around.