Very often we(men) are at the end of brutal biased and uninformed female opinion.
They falsely believe that they are perfect communicators and men hold back their emotions so much that it’s impossible to form an emotional connection:
Heres why women are not the perfect communicators that they think they are:
(firstly I will admit that women have a huge evolutionary head start on emotional connection and communication)
What we know about men:
Men don’t usually communicate to simply chat about the weather or express their feelings.
Men are usually very efficient about what they say and the goal and outcome of the conversation.
Men spend time running over what they believe and know what they are going to say before they say it.
Men don’t use communication as the predominant bonding tool
Men don’t purposefully use communication for enjoyment
What we know about women:
Women use communication as a bonding tool
Women love to chat about anything, especially with other women: romance, gossip, love, drama, conflict
Women simply talk out loud about what they are thinking
Neither method is wrong or right we are just different.
Have you ever heard the saying “men can’t communicate?”
There may be some truth to this but one the flip side you will very rarely get a straight answer from a women. Women find it tough to know what they want and be definitive about situations. They like to be lead rather than take control. (a generalization… get ready for more)
When you hear your women say that you are a terrible communicator what they are really saying is they want you to communicate a certain way… their way!
Women have to realise that men don’t communicate like a pack of exited monkeys. Guys connect indirectly while doing something like playing a sport or even playing cards (we are hard wired to do so dont expect us to change any time soon). So forget sitting down with your man face to face and expecting an emotional connection.
As frustrating as this may be for women, they have to deal with the complexities of gender differences.
1 Women communicate indirectly
Thus never saying what they actually mean! This means men are led to believe the literal conversation while the woman is hoping he will read her mind (he never does). Therefore the communication nightmares begin which started with a simple misunderstanding as a result of female communication.
If women were more direct and obvious about their intentions, wants and needs there would be far less relationship conflict due to communication misunderstanding.
Women: stop expecting men to communicate like women
– we find it hard to make long winding inferences about your state of mind (especially when it changes every hour).
– We find it frustrating when you get mad at us for not understanding you especially when you blame our communication skills.
If you would be more clear and goal oriented in conflict resolution rather than being “up in the clouds” a lot more could get done and resolved.
Solution:TALK to your women about being more direct about how they talk to you. Let them know that they need to just say what they are trying to say to you without hinting.
2 Women communicate using their emotions
This helps women when it comes to communicating on an emotional scale as well as understanding what others are feeling. When it comes to seeing reality and communicating with a goal in mind women struggle.
Many feminist women have a hard time accepting that there is anything at all wrong with women but they have to admit the downfalls of overly emotive communication. When the hard facts have to be put on the table in a relationship women can’t do it without tearing up. This veering away from important conflict conversations means conflicts go unresolved longer than they should.
There way of coping with conflict in relationships is to go off and talk about it with their friends hoping that magically it will sort itself out. When it doesn’t they blame it on the man. These gaping weaknesses in female communication are rarely talked about.
Solution:Let women know when they are being unreasonable! They will thank you for it! Just don’t do it in a demeaning negative way. Remember you are trying to help them see reality for what it is and that they are often unreasonable
3 Women just talk they don’t resolve
Feminine conversation is based around talking rather than direct conflict resolution based on goals and solutions.
As I stated above women will talk about the conflict often with everybody else first before bringing up the issue in a non direct way.
You (the man) might not even get that there was an issue and that she is feeling some unease. Why should you? She has not brought anything up with you and when she did it was an indirect small problem that didn’t seem like much of an issue anyway.
So what is huge to women, to men seems very very small. The issue in the relationship does not get resolved until it’s to late because the WOMEN did not bring it up in a logical and obvious way.
The women out their are thinking – but the man should have felt her pain, or … he should have noticed she wasn’t happy.
Men will very rarely notice or read your mind regarding emotional issues!
WOMEN NEED TO LEARN TO BE MORE DIRECT
With this comes the ability to resolve issues through REAL communication rather than stupid childish gossip with their friends.
Solution:Remind your women of the reason why you are talking with her. Let her know that you need a task or a goal for the talk even if she doesn’t. Redirect the conversation toward the goal if it gets off track.
I am trying to stand up for men
Men who apparently:
Dont communicate well
Dont understand their emotions
Don’t understand women
Etc Etc Etc
Christ I’m sick of feminist women bullshit
P.S. I love women and hope no harm or offence is conveyed in the publishing of this literature, only further understanding.