Equations that model a successful marriage can predict with 95% accuracy if newlyweds will be together in 6 years time.
They took a large sample size (I’d imagine) and modeled what happened when the couple talked about stressful topics. They looked at how each partner responded to each other (body language, voice tone, stress level etc)
The important finding was that the couples that responded the LEAST had the best chance of a successful marriage.
Very interesting data! You know that relationship you have been in which went south fast – the conversations you had started off great and slowly but surely ended in a fighting match. She said just the right thing to set you off and get you angry enough to reply with an even worse insult and it spiraled out of control.
What started off as a loving conversation and a loving marriage/partnership ends up far from it.
I believe what she is referring to with less response is less ego – in your conversations with your partner try to remove anger and emotional responses. Keep calm and talk without strong hateful emotion even if you are talking about very heated topics. That way you can talk about sensitive topics and work through differences one at a time. This also allows you avoid miscommunication and assumptions.
“I thought you meant” is often how a screaming match to ends when miscommunication and assumptions are present in your relationship. They can often be the cause of a breakup that should never have occurred if open non ego conversation was present.
So if your a women screaming at your man to do this or do that and he is trying to be calm and may even be non responsive… please understand what he is trying to do. The maths may have now confirmed his infinite wisdom 😀
Well perhaps not infinite but he is onto something – you should only ever communicate with your loved ones in peaceful and stable moods.