Here is a simple but useful guide for new swinging couples who wants to start living a swingers lifestyle. We have covered some of the important aspect of swinging. The introduction which immediately follows this sections explains what is swinging and who are swinging. We also covered topics explaining 9 types of swinging couples.
The next topic will cover preparations that every new swinging couples should have. Once preparations are made you are ready to start searching for other people to swing with. Finally we have important parts which are 2 Golden Rules in Swinging and Swinging Do’s and Don’ts.
What is swinging?
Swinging is behavior or lifestyle characterized by having multiple sexual partners. This is often practiced but not limited to committed couples whereby they exchange partners in doing sexual act. A swinger therefore is someone who practice swinging. The swapping is done in a manner with predetermined set of rules to follow. Next is the most important part which answers the questions why swinging? This is your decision point if you want to be swinger.
Swinging couples and swinging singles
A swinging single is basically a person who is an unattached or not committed into a relationship with someone. This gives him or her the ability to date or sleep with different partners. Sometimes they are also invited to join other couples to do threesome.
Swinging couples on the other hand are married couples, or someone living together as committed couple who practice partner swapping with other swinging couples or with a swinging single. The swap can be full or soft and open or close swap but it’s always arranged and agreed upon.
Types of Swinging Couples
Swinging couples are categorized or characterized according to their swinging preference. If you are new to swinging it’s important to go over this terms. It will help you understand who you are as a swinging couple. It will also let you easily communicate and understand others in the swinging community.
Close Swinging – A partner does not like to see the other partner having sex with someone else
Exhibitionism – Couples who enjoys sex while being watch by someone or a lot of people. Having sex in public or open places gives them pleasure. Not all exhibitionist are swingers, some prefer to do it with their original partner.
Group Game – This is enjoyed by 2 couples or at least 4 to 6 people enjoying a sexual act.
Hard Swinging – This is swapping partners and doing penetrative sex.
Kinky Swinging. This simply means incorporating kinky ideas to swinging parties. Example of which are bondage, water sports, and cross dressing.
Open Swinging – A partner wants to watch the other have sex with someone else.
Soft Swinging – This is swapping partners and enjoying oral sex, kissing, stroking, fingering, hand jobs, etc. But NO genital penetrative sex with other couples. They want to go back to their original partner to have proper sex.
Threesome – Inviting a third participant into a couple’s sexual act. Most swinging couples starts with having threesome before they go on full swinging or partner swapping.
Voyeurism – Someone who take pleasure in watching others having sex.Again sometimes a voyeur is not a swinger. They just enjoy watching their partner have sex with another person. A voyeur husbands takes pleasure in watching while someone is banging her wife. While a voyeur woman takes pleasure in watching her husband screw another woman or girl.
As a swinging single, deciding to swing or not to swing it not really a huge issue. It’s just a matter of deciding if you want to have multiple sex partners or you are happy with just one.
It becomes a bit complicated for undecided swinging couples. The decision to enter a swingers lifestyle should be a mutual decision. This decision should be based on the idea of enhancing your relationship or bring it to the next level.
You should not agree to swing if you are using it to mend a relationship. Swinging should not be use to repair your relationship. In the end it might do irreversible damage which you might regret.
Some wife would agree into swinging because they want to make their husbands happy. Don’t do it if you will not enjoy it too. No one should force you into swinging. If you feel like you are obliged into agreeing into it then it’s a good sign that it will not do anything good. So don’t push it.
The Swinging proposal.
I think the most complicated part of starting out as a swinging couple is bringing out the topic. There are a lot of uncertainty involve here. But if a couple could discuss things openly. Then I think there will not be a problem here. The first think you can do is talk to your partner about it. Suggest it lightly if you are not sure she or he is open to the idea. If she/he says no then respect the decision.
Once a couple has mutually agreed that they both want to swing and live a swingers lifestyle, some preparations should be made. This preparations will vary from couple to couple but the following should help you get started.
The first thing a couple must do should they decide to swing sis to come up with some sort of agreement. This agreement will contain every conditions that the couple want. It should be clear and understood by both partners. This should include both your limitations and expectations as a new swinging couple entering a new swinging lifestyle.
The Expectations. List your all your expectations of what do you foresee of your swinging lifestyle. Make a separate list for both of your expectations.
The Limitations. This is the most important part of your agreement. Most often than not your swinging ground rules are based on this This defines how far you can go on your swinging lifestyle. This also serves as your boundary line when you would say no to something. This should make you feel safe and comfortable while swinging. Make a list of all your limitations and keep it.
The New You as Swinging Couples
Now that you have your agreement or set of ground rules. It’s time to make up your new identities. This will be your swinging identity. Most swinging couples does not use their real names while out and swinging. Leave your ID’s at home just in case and for privacy protection. Except your driver’s license if you will be driving.
In this part we will try make a simple guide into starting a swinging lifestyle. This is basically focused on your search for people who enjoys the same kind of fun that you have in mind which is swinging. There are many ways to find other swinging couples for meet up, or someone for threesome sexual fun.
These days joining swinging clubs and swingers community has been made easy and very discreet thanks to ‘internet’. You don’t have to go out anymore and visit shady places to find other people who likes to swings. Online you can find a lot of communities both local and international full of horny people ready to swing.
AdultFriendFinder.com is one large community of swingers full of both swinging singles and swinging couples. In case you don’t know swingers around the world has their own international association it called NASCA. They also list both local and international swinging parties. Hopefully sometime later we will have our own list of websites and forums boards dedicated to swinging parties and swingers lifestyle.
Place an Ad. Compose an ad make it complete and avoid ambiguity. But don’t give personal information. You may want to provide disposable phone number or email address for other’s to contact you just for privacy purpose. Your ad must be complete of who you are looking for, your limitations, expectations and possible location or time of meet up if possible.
Now you can put post your ad online or offline publishing personals. This will be your call, but most often than not swingers would turn online for their personals.
Local or Out of Town. A decision has to be made if you are going local or swinging in other towns and cities. Swinging couples do this when they want to keep their swinging activity very discreet. It’s better for them to swing somewhere else other than the same city or town where they live and a lot of people would know them.
Meet and Screen. Meet other swingers in public places like bars and pubs. Just see how things goes. This will give you an idea if you are ready to make physical and sexual contact with the other party. Then set second meeting if you are up for full swinging if you both agree to it.
Set The Rules. Once a swinging session has been agreed. It’s time to set some ground rules. Make it clear what are your limitations. You can go back to your agreement and list of limitations. Ask what the other couple’s limitations. Talking about their expectation will also help make the party as satisfying and enjoyable for everyone.
2 Golden Rules in Swinging
If you want to be a successful swinging couples you must adhere to these 2 golden rules that a swingers lifestyle live by.
NO is a NO. When someone says no it really means NO. No explanation needed or no alibi needed. You don’t have to be offended when your turned downed and you don’t need to feel guilty by saying NO to an offer. Keep it simple and friendly that way everyone is happy.
Safe Sex All the Time. Put on that rubber before the action starts. Don’t be offended if asked to wear one or someone wearing it wants to have fun with you. It will be selfish if you don’t want to protect yourself. Remember that you are not only protecting your health but also the health of your partners.
15 Do’s and Don’ts of Swinging
In addition to the above 2 very important rules in swinging which we regard as golden rules in swinging. We have listed a more detailed rules that every new and experienced swinging couples must follow. These rules might not be true for everyone but this should help you get started.
#1. Swing as a couple. If you are a swinging couple then act like a couple. This means that you have to come and leave as one. You are a package, that is why you need to have one single account as a couple when you are on an online swinging website. Work as a team . Don’t leave your partner behind. This creates a trust and strong bond between you two. Remember that you are swinging to improve your relationship.
#2. Punctuality. Be there on time. Notify the host if you will be late or you can’t come. Imagine how you will feel or how the other’s would feel if you arrive on a swinging party while everyone is already on a full swing? Awkward! So don’t be late!
#3. Respond to Invitations. Attending a swinging party or not you should respond to confirm or deny the invitation. It’s a also courteous to respond to invitations. Just remember the hard work made preparing the party. The host must know that you are coming or not so arrangements and preparations can be done. Most members would like to know who is coming, unless it’s a meet and fuck kind of swinging party.
#4. Don’t show up Uninvited. You will never be let in anyway so why bother? These are close door parties that is why it’s RSVP Invitation only.
#5. Ticket’s are Big No-No. Taking a ticket means turning up into a swinging party with someone who is not really into it. Most swinging parties are exclusive to couples only. If you are single then be sure that you are with someone who is up for some swinging. This is only accepted on special circumstance and the host must know about your arrangement.
#6. Be Friendly. Be courteous, understanding and sensible. Act like how you like others to act towards you. This is a simple rule for social courtesy.
#7. Avoid Asking Personal Questions. This also means that you don’t need to give out too many personal details. Remember that these people are here for one thing only, to swing. Not to get involved personally nor emotionally other than to their husbands and wives.
#8. Don’t Be Afraid to Say No. If you don’t like it then say no, don’t give an explanation or alibi. Don’t feel oblige to play with anyone, even with the host. Just decline the offer courteously. This is just a reiteration of our first golden rule.
#9. Don’t Insist. Again follow the golden rule, a No mean no so don’t be pushy. If you have been turned down respect it and just shrug it off your shoulder.
#10. Dressing Up. When it comes to deciding what to wear just put on something casual and that you are comfortable with. Clarify with the host if robes are provided. Sometimes when you do the swinging party inside a hotel room robes and other personal amenities are provided.
#11. Keep Valuables to Minimal. Don’t bring in too many valuables like cash and jewelries. Not that you can’t trust the host or anyone in there, but it will be embarrassing for you and for other’s if you lost them.
#12. Watch your Alcohol Consumption. Booze might be overflowing during a swinging party and the food maybe great. But you are there to swing not drink. You need to be able to stand and perform when the real action starts so don’t get drunk.
#13. No Drugs! We mean illegal drugs it does not mean that V and C also prohibited.
#14. Hygiene. This is a must for everyone. A poor personal hygiene is a turn off.
#15. Enjoy and Have Fun. After all that is what the party is for. When you are living a swingers lifestyle be sure that you are enjoying it. If not drop it.