The title of this post says it all about how you should approach the somewhat stigmatized arena of dating… many singles take just the OPPOSITE approach and fail.
Women would love you to come across as clean, approachable and relaxed on a first date…
There is no such thing as a first online date but first impressions most certainly still count. You need to be able to present an online image that women want to see…
By keeping it clean and keeping your communication relaxed you allow the women on the site to feel at ease. When you come on to strong to early it suggest to them you’re a touch desperate and needy. Don’t try and force an offline meeting on the 3rd or 4th email…
When is the perfect time to actually set up a date offline? It depends on the women you are chatting with. If she is returning your emails she will have checked out your profile (age, interests and perhaps income) and will be now testing if you are really the guy behind the mask…
Easiest way to put her at ease is to give her all the information up front… Add her to your friends list on face book! This is the best way to remove any doubt in her mind that you are not genuine.
This way she can have a good look at all of your pictures and friends and wall posts (find out who you really are) and make an informed judgement.
By being open from the beginning and relaxed about the interaction you place less pressure on her to make a snap judgement about you.
Keep in mind that as a women on a free online dating site – she will be overwhelmed with attention (from mostly older slightly seedy guys) – this is a generalisation but just look at it from her point of view.
She is there to meet cool new people for friendship and fun. This does not mean she is there for casual encounters and fun…
It means she just wants to hang out and chat about life for awhile before charging into anything serious… So ease up on the desperate chat and talk about yourself in a normal way for awhile.
The more normal and relaxed you can come across the more you will STAND OUT from the other guys who are sending naked pictures of themselves to women as an introduction without even saying hey how are you first…
So today’s message for all of you who are reading is to keep it clean and keep It relaxed… Not so easy to do when you haven’t’ had any tail in months…
I know I get it but good things come to those who wait. You are doing the right thing in that your seeking advice on how to interact with women online.
The simple answer is – just how you would interact with them offline…
It involves a “hello” of some description followed by your name and why you are interested in talking to them… A suggestion of some common interests is always a good idea.
Meaning you SHOULD check out their profile first – if they have little information displayed then suggest that they tell you a little more about themselves…
Keep your first email short and sharp so that they don’t get to overwhelmed.
Who wants to read an easy as a first message … ?
They will feel as though they are being interrogated. In your next few emails (if they reply) you are moving quickly along to actually getting a date out of this.
Ask if they want to chat via the site you are using (free online dating at fckme.org -just launched) or add them as a friend on face book. When you are chatting on an instant messenger let them ask the questions first…
Rather than shooting some quick fire Q’s out yourself ask them –
right is their anything your would like to know about me before we begin?
She will (understandably) want to know that you are not some crazy dude that’s not serious about real offline dating- which reiterates the idea of backing up your legitimacy with a face book profile all the more important.
The fact that you can direct her to a place online that proves you have other friends (social proof) and proves that you have a life outside the site that you found her on boosts your kudos big time in her mind.
Moving from online dating to offline FAST is all about stacking the trust.
The more she trusts you the more likely she will want to hang out… And that’s all that should be on your mind at this point – HANGING OUT…
Also keep in mind that even if you are a stand up guy (you might expect she will like you) She has every reason NOT to trust you!
The web is an open platform and she will have been freaked out one to many times online by unsavoury guys looking for cheap thrill.
One of the reasons why serious dating sites and paid dating sites do so well is there is an added sense of safety and security behind the closed doors of an authority site. So if your using free dating sites
plenty of fish
Then be sure to ease into the initial interaction and stack the trust factors once you have her attention. Keeping in mind that getting a women’s attention on a free dating site can be tricky…
You email my not be read or she may not have logged in since she signed up.
Use each site listed above try some different headlines and introductory emails but in the end keep your conversation as normal and open as possible.
The more approachable you come across within your profile (social proof, images with other people, smiling profile picture) the more success you will have.
Once again it’s all about building trust in the early stages so Keep it clean and keep it relaxed.
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