According to pysorg 40 percent of the 100 million US singles are giving online dating a try! That’s a whole lot of people paying a whole lot of money so it makes sense that singles are interested in understanding what’s behind the process.
Are online dating sites really pairing you up with “compatible” singles?
Do they actually no anything about you and your personality?
Do dating sites know anything about the psychology of love or are they just ramming marketing filth down our throats…
eHarmony has had massive success with it’s so called dimensions of compatibility.
http://www.physorg.com/news164292891.html believes that all of this scientific dating justification could actually be more science junk aimed at increasing social proof and professionalism.
Obviously if you say that you have many trained dating psychologists creating personality and compatibility tests your dating site is going to have more success… But how accurate are these claims?
Physorg news suggests that these dating claims are more set up as marketing pushes than real psychological science. (as tested by psychology graduates and psychology professor Jeffrey Lohr)
You will have heard before that statistics can be misleading. Dating sites can set up tests and deliberately ensure that they are statistically significant by altering the sample size.
You can also refuse to publish certain key facts and outcomes of models when it suits you. (eHarmony is one of the most reputable dating sites online and singles flock to this site for the professional approach to matchmaking and marriage)
eHarmony actually has a patent on their dimensions of compatibility which is great for them but it leaves the customer in the dark regarding how they are matched with other singles. If there compatibility matching is so good and is the pillar of the eHarmony brand what have they got to hide?
According to perfectmatch.com they match singles based on over 30 years of research by a relationship expert. The reality is that dating sites are in their infancy and it just seems fishy to claim 35 years of offline dating experience as an online social proof tagline.
All things being said perfect match seem to provide an excellent service based on user reviews.
This is in fact how match.com claim success and seems to be the most valid in today’s “consumer counts” society. Everyone has a voice today because everyone has the power to generate negative reviews.
Benaughy.com sure have felt the full force of negative user reviews but the sheer number of guys looking for one night stands seems to push positive growth.
Chemistry.com and Matchaffinity.com (lovegeist report) are pushing in the right direction about being transparent about psychological testing and categorization.
For example chemistry.com has a 56 questioned “questionnaire”. From the results you get put into categories of Negotiators , Directors, Explorers and Builders. According to chemistry.com you are attracted to similar personality types which of course makes sense.
Once again citing http://www.physorg.com/news164292891.html
They believe that chemisty.com is pretty much the only online dating site that is close to being scientifically legitimate which is what every professional dating site claims.
What they mean here is that chemistry.com have put some real time and effort into ensuring that their psychological testing and analysis is accurate.
Because eHarmony don’t come out of the closet about what they actually do regarding matching it’s wrong to be negative.
All things taken into account you cant argue with their statistics (# successful marriages) even if they are taken before the normal divorce stats kick in. In fact it would be interesting to get some divorce stats on eHarmony singles… Any takers?
DIVORCE RATES AND MARRIAGE ONLINE
It’s a really important statistic to find out… IF there is a high divorce rate for marriages created by online dating sites perhaps using dating sites for marriage really is not a good idea.
Why would online dating sites produce a high percentage of divorce rates compared to traditional marriage?
It’s arguable that there is less invested in an online dating relationship and when your next “marriage” is only one click away + you have a prenup agreement what the heck right?
Yeh that’s one negative approach but these issues need to be raised. If you are online looking for marriage you might wanna check
a) How is this “legitimate” dating site actually “scientifically” matching me with “compatible” singles? (* how to over use “”)
b) What are the statistics on online dating marriages?
Because in the end YOU are another statistic whether it be in your favour or not. If only 20% of online marriages actually make it past 2 years you are fighting an uphill battle.
Offline marriages and relationships are only at ~50% from memory anyway and likely a lot less but they do grow naturally over time with real life chemistry and a contact flirting phase.
If your mindset is
I’m using online dating to find a guy/girl for MARRIAGE ONLY
I think you are going about things all wrong…
First of all marriage is a BIG step and I think Americans in particular take marriage a little too lightly. Once the honeymoon stage is over marriage reality sets in but you don’t want to think about that right now huh?
The fact is … Online dating sites are great for setting up singles that are compatible… great.
But they are not great at initiating chemistry or real loving bonds. This is all done offline and in the presence of someone that you really get along with.
Online dating should and IS about reducing the friction behind first contact. If you are looking for marriage then remember this:
If you met someone online through a professional dating site and you get along well… great
At this point you are just friends and should not rush into ANYTHING for at LEAST 6 months. Ideally you should know a person for at LEAST 2-3 years before you even think about marriage. Of course this is all personal preference but come on… you are going to be living with this person for the rest of your life.
Do you really know them?
Is all of this scientific compatibility matching really increasing the chemistry and bond between you?
Online dating is NO substitution for good old face to face time.
If your into online dating for flings and one night stands that’s your decision and it’s great for that too but when it comes down to settling down understand that shit gets a little more complicated and you NEED face to face time of at LEAST 2 years before you make that big proposal.
Otherwise you might just fall into that nasty divorce statistic like everybody else, even if you think he/she is “the one”. What you don’t think they all didn’t think that too?