Penis Size Insecurities

Penis Size Insecurities and other body issues.

Everyone has some level of insecurity about their bodies. If you have questions like “Is this normal” or “Am I still attractive”, this is the place to find answers. You will find a mature matter of fact discussion about everything from small penises to large labias  and everything in between. First we will take an honest look about what men seem to worry about the most. Their penis.

Why Are Men Obsessed with Their Penis?

Men are obsessed with their penis size, but why? Why do so many men feel inadequate in that department, when 90% of the population falls into the average?

It would be easy to blame society. The fact that every image you see on the internet (if you are so inclined) includes a man with a much larger than average penis. The truth however, is much older than our modern society.

Pompeii was covered in volcanic ash and lava in 79 A.D. Today this place is an archaeological goldmine. A tableau of a life that existed almost 2,000 years ago. In these ancient ruins there are hieroglyphs of men with enormous erect penises. This goes to show that men have always been obsessed with their size.

It Looks Bigger to Everyone Else

Part of the issue may lie in a simple optical illusion. If you are looking directly down on your penis ( if it is attached to you, this is how you will most often view it) it will look significantly smaller than it does from other angles. So if you are in a Men’s bathroom or locker room, and you sneak a peek at the competition, yours will probably look smaller than theirs to you even if it is actually larger. What we consider reality is actually just our perceptions. The truth is the biggest impact about how your penis is perceived is how you see it. If you are sporting 6 inches but you are very confident in it and your ability to please your lover, you will probably do better with women ( and in the bedroom) than someone who is larger but not as confident.

The Myth That Size Matters – A Lot

I won’t tell you that size doesn’t matter at all. I will tell you that for a woman, it is low on the importance scale unless you are truly above or below average. Women don’t meet a man, like him enough to go to bed with them, and then say “I’m not interested because your penis is too small”. If they do, they are extremely shallow and don’t deserve your wonderfully average member.

Performance in the bedroom may affect whether a woman wants a relationship with you. However, this has very little to do with penis size. It has to do with confidence, knowing what to do, knowing how to use what you do have, and paying attention to your partner. If you are a confident and skilled lover, your woman isn’t going to look at you and say she is going to look for bigger pastures.


Penis Size

There seems to be a LOT of misinformation online so who can you trust?


But then you have condom companies releasing sales data like this


What Is Average?

The truth is women don’t worry about penis size nearly as much as men do. If you fall into the average range, you should be able to satisfy the average woman just fine. If you are actually above or below average, don’t worry. It is still all about knowing how to use what you have.

The average flaccid penis is 3.6 inches long and 3.3 inches around. When erect, the average penis grows to 5.2 inches long and 4.3 inches around. Ok guys, a dollar bill is six inches long. If your longer than a dollar bill, that puts you in the 95th percentile for penis length. On the other end of the spectrum, if you are four inches or bigger, you fall into the average size as well.90% of men are between 4 and 6.3 inches.

Bigger Doesn’t Always Mean Better

It is time to let go of your penis anxiety guys. A woman doesn’t need a man to be hung like a porn star to satisfy her. One study found that 45% of men believe they have a small penis, but 85% of women were satisfied with their partners size. Another study used 3 d models of penises of various sizes and asked women which size they preferred. The women chose slightly bigger than average ( 6.3 inches long and 4.8 inches around) for the size they would prefer to be in a serious relationship with. When asked what size they would prefer for a one night stand they chose a little bigger ( 6.4 inches long and 5 inches around).

An above average penis can be too big for an average woman. When a penis is too big, sex can be painful. You may not be able to put it all the way in. There may be some positions ( like doggy style) that simply won’t work if you have a large member.

It can also be harder to get an erection if you have a large penis. The larger a penis is the more blood flow is required to get it fully erect. It may take more effort to get and keep an erection if you have a large penis.

Studies have also found that girth matters more than length when it comes to satisfying a woman. Most of a woman’s nerves are near the entrance of their vagina, so a man with good girth will hit all of those nerve endings. Most women can only feel the first few inches of penetration. Certain positions can also allow a man to hit more of the nerve endings. You can have too much girth as well, however. No woman wants to feel like she is giving birth when she is having sex. If it is too wide, the penis can painfully stretch or tear the woman’s vagina.


Penis Size and its Effect on a Relationship

You may think that a large penis is good for your relationship. Your big manly member should certainly be able to satisfy your woman, so why would she go anywhere else? A study of Kenyan women found that the larger the man’s penis, the more likely the woman would cheat on them. Every inch that the man was over average increased his risk of being cheated on by 1 ½ times.

The women involved in the study said that they associated the large penis with pain and discomfort during sex, and they sought out partners with smaller penises so that they could enjoy sex. In an American study, 7% of women said they had ended a relationship because the man’s penis was too large. 20% admitted to ending a relationship because their partner was too small.

Size is the Last Thing On Her Mind

A recent study found that even when asked to rank the importance of different penis features, women ranked length last. General appearance ranked first, followed by pubic hair and penile skin. Having a well maintained penis seems to be much more important to women than size. Girth came in fourth, supporting previous findings that girth was more important than length, and length came in 6th.

Why Average Is Generally Better

Many men who are above average in size feel like they don’t need any skills in the bedroom, because their massive member should automatically satisfy their lucky lover. On the other hand, men that feel like they are below average (even if they aren’t) are likely to make more effort in the bedroom to compensate. There are advantages and disadvantages to every size of penis. Smaller men (genuinely small), may have a hard time pleasing their lover. Women may find having sex with larger men painful. Regardless of size, there are ways a man can pleasure his partner. It really is all in how you use it, but before we get to that, let’s find out how and why it looks like it does in the first place.


The Evolution of the Penis

Have you ever stopped to wonder why the penis is the shape and size that it is? It is certainly different in comparison to other species, even compared to other primates. Some evolutionary scientists have devoted their energy to figuring out “Why the penis evolved into its current form”.

A Sizeable Matter

Man’s closest biological relation is the chimpanzee. If you compare the size of the average human penis with that of a chimpanzee, the human is about twice as large. This is after taking into account the size and weight differences.

Magic Mushroom

Man’s is the only mammalian penis with a distinctive mushroom shaped head. All other species have basically just a straight shaft. Did the penis evolve this way for pleasure, or is there a more practical reason?

Theory # 1 – It is All Mine

Some scientists theorize that the penis evolved this way to keep other men from impregnating the female. A man’s penis is designed to thrust very deeply into the vagina. It is also designed to “shoot” the sperm inside as deeply as possible. Men can shoot sperm up to one to two feet. These measures make sense. After all, if men don’t successfully impregnate women, then the species will die out.

What about the oddly (though delightful) shaped head. What evolutionary imperative drove that design? According to this theory, the bulb of the penis is designed to scoop out any rival’s sperm before depositing its own. When a man begins thrusting inside a woman, the in and out motion and the bulb shape of the head suck up any sperm in the vagina and tuck it safely away under the head.

The Experiment

This is certainly an interesting theory, but does it work in the real world? Gallup researchers decided to put it to the test. First, they bought three fake penises and one fake vagina from a sex toy store. Two of the plastic penises were realistically shaped, and the third was just a straight shaft.

Next they formulated their own “sperm” mixture, meant to mimic the thickness and consistency of the real thing. The mixture was simply flour and water, which was then boiled down and allowed to cool.

Next came the fun part. They took the latex vagina and filled it with the fake sperm. They then thrust the penises into the vagina at varying depths and speeds, and then they measured how much of the mock sperm was left in the vaginal opening.

Their findings backed up the theory, with the two phallic shaped penises removing over 90% of the sperm solution. The third (headless penis) removed less than 40% of the mock sperm.

Having found physical findings to back up the theory, the scientists moved on to the psychological aspect of the theory. They administered a questionnaire to sexually active college age men and women. They discovered that men thrust faster and harder after finding out that their partner had been unfaithful. They also found that men thrust harder and faster after reuniting with their lover after a prolonged absence.

These findings suggest men are trying to remove sperm placed their by rivals from their women’s vaginas, at least subconsciously.

Theory # 2 – It’s all About The Ladies

While the first theory focuses strictly on the possessive male who wants to advance his genes, the second theory focuses solely on female preference. This theory says that throughout humanity’s evolution, women chose men with bigger penises. With clothes being a relatively new concept in evolutionary terms, it would certainly be easy for a woman to choose a mate based on that criteria.

However, today’s women say that size does matter, but not that much. Women rank personality much higher than penis size. General physical fitness is also more important to women than a massive member. From an evolutionary standpoint, characteristics like being healthy or good caretakers of the family were bound to be more important for the survival of the species ( and for mothers throughout the ages) than the size of the package. So this theory seems to fall flat.

Theory #3 – The Key Fits The Lock

Women have large babies. When human babies are born, they are roughly 1/22 the size of their mother. Most mammals have babies that are much smaller in relation to their body size. Giant Panda babies come into the world at 1/900.

Since women have large babies, their vaginas must be large enough to accommodate them. Perhaps penises have evolved to fit a woman’s vagina? With all the research and obsession about the evolution of the penis and penis size, you would think you could find plenty of information about women’s vagina size. On this point, science has been sexist. There are almost no studies done on vagina size.

Perhaps the reality of why penises are the size and shape that they are is some combination of all of these factors. Whatever the case, penises and vagina’s seemed to have evolved to fit together very well, and to give maximum pleasure to both parties.

Other Factors That Affect Enjoyment

If you fall into the average range, there are things that matter more to women than size. These things actually affect a woman’s enjoyment and help her get her big O.

Clitorial Stimulation

80% of women require clitorial stimulation to reach orgasm during sex. The good news for men is that penis size has nothing to do with the ability to provide clitorial stimulation. During penetration, fingers or a toy can be used to provide clitorial stimulation. This can help send a woman over the edge, and give her an orgasm. Certain sexual positions may also provide some clitorial stimulation.

Cervical Stimulation

While 80% of women require some clitorial stimulation to reach orgasm, many of them still enjoy cervical stimulation. For the other 20% cervical stimulation is critical for them to reach orgasm. It takes 5 to 6 inches of length for a man’s penis to stimulate a woman’s cervix, which falls right into the average range.


Hardness can be more crucial than girth or length when it comes to stimulating nerve endings, so an average sized penis that is able to maintain a firm erection may be preferable to a larger one who isn’t as firm. Hardness is simply a matter of blood flow. This is partially determined by a man’s arousal level, but physical fitness also plays a factor. So men on the lower side of average may be able to compensate by maintaining a healthy heart and cardiovascular system.


The vagina is very elastic and adaptable. A well toned vagina can contract to better accommodate a smaller penis, as well as stretch to accommodate a larger one. However, over time, the vagina will become accustomed to the larger penis, so it might not make much difference in long term satisfaction.

Smaller May Be Preferable for Anal

Women who enjoy anal sex may actually prefer a smaller penis. The anus is much tighter than a vagina, and the larger the penis ( or any other object like a vibrator) the more likely the woman will find insertion painful. 1/3 of women have tried anal sex, and one in five have had it in the last year. For most women anal is something to do in addition to vaginal sex. Perhaps on a special occasion or to spice up their sex life. However, one in twenty women actually prefer anal sex to vaginal sex. These women may find a smaller penis more desirable, since anal sex is likely to take priority over vaginal sex for them.

Blow Jobs

40% of women enjoy giving oral sex. About 15% either don’t like it at all or feel bad about themselves when they do it. The rest of women seem to fall into the “it’s ok sometimes” category. If a man is well endowed, it can make it more difficult for the woman to give them oral sex. Some women seem to enjoy the challenge, while others may be intimidated and not want to try if a man is perceived to be too large.

Sexual Positions for Every Size

If you are smaller or larger than you (or your partner) would like, there are sexual positions that will help you make the best out of what you have. Different sexual positions change the angle of penetration, as well as how deeply you penetrate the vagina. This is the simplest and safest way to make sure you, and your partner are satisfied, no matter your size.

Positions For Smaller Penises

These are the sexual positions most effective for those with a “small problem”, or if you and your partner are in the mood for maximum penetration and sensation.

Doggy Style

This position allows for deeper penetration. It also makes the man feel in control, and this can be a turn on for men and women. If you want to maximize the sensation, the woman can close her legs while she is on her knees and elbows. This will make the vaginal canal smaller, making the penis feel larger. This position also hits a woman’s G spot. Clitorial stimulation is a must for many women to orgasm, and in this position the man can reach around and play with her clit while he is having sex with her. The woman also has access to her lady parts. A woman playing with herself while having sex can be a huge turn on for both partners.

There are many ways to modify this classic position. The woman can lay on the bed with her hips under a pillow to slightly raise her pelvis. This gives the man perfect access to her vagina, and can be more romantic because the man is basically laying on top of his lady. This gives lots of skin to skin contact which is important to both sexes.

Another variation is called the hound. The woman gets on the bed on all fours, but puts her shoulders down and her butt up. This angle allows for different sensations as well as very deep penetration. This position can also be done standing up with the woman holding on to something that is low enough for her to assume the position.

Magic Mountain is yet another variation of doggy style. The woman gets on her knees, but props her front half up with several pillows so she is in the basic doggy style position. This allows the man to lay on top of her, providing that romantic skin to skin contact. Since neither of you have to support your entire body weight in this position, you can keep it going longer than the traditional doggy style.

Reverse Cowgirl

Many women find this position uncomfortable if the man is very large, but it is a perfect position for those on the smaller side. The woman mounts the man, but instead of being facing him, she faces the other way. This position actually allows for lots of clitorial stimulation. It also changes the angle the penis enters the vagina, and this angle makes it feel bigger. It also puts the woman in complete control, She can grind her hips onto the man or raise and lower her hips to move the penis in and out of her. She can also easily reach her own clitoris while riding the man.

If you are really adventurous (or horny) the woman can move from her knees to her feet. With her feet on the bed, she can spring up and down as hard and fast as she likes. This offers plenty of sensation, and even if the man is below average size, it gives her the sensation of a good hard romp. A word of caution, however. If you get too excited and the penis slips out, it can be painful for both parties when she comes down on it.

X Marks the Spot

For this position the man lays on the bed and the woman gets on top of him facing his feet with her legs straddling his body. This position allows for deep penetration, and it is one of those positions that are comfortable to be in. That means you can take it slow and make it last ( if you are so inclined). It also gives the woman lots of clitorial stimulation. It also puts the man in the position to insert a finger into the ladies back door. The double penetration will increase the sensations.


The position you use when you are cuddling after sex can also be a great position to have sex in. You both lay on your side with the man behind the woman, and pull your legs up slightly, just like when you are spooning. This position narrows the vaginal canal, making the penis feel bigger. This is also the best position for some sexy see how long we can make this last sex.

Slide It

This is another position suited for slower sex, and it is romantic. The man lays down and the woman lays on top of him with her legs closed. When the man enters her, she slides up and down his body. This position lets you look each other in the eyes, kiss, and touch.

Modified Missionary

Close Your Legs

Traditional missionary has the man get between the woman’s legs. This position has the man straddling her legs. Her legs being closed narrows the vaginal canal, making the man feel bigger and increasing the sensation.

Legs Up

The woman lays on the bed with her legs at a 90 degree angle. The man then gets on top of her, just like traditional missionary. The woman’s legs being up allows for much deeper penetration, and much more sensation than the traditional missionary position.

If the woman is flexible, you can try this. Instead of the woman having her legs up in the air, she brings them in so that she is basically folded in half. The man then gets on top and enters her. This allows for incredible penetration and it feels great. However, if you aren’t somewhat flexible or have back issues, this may not be the position for you.

Positions For Large Penises

Having a large penis is supposed to be great, right? Not always true, at least for your lucky lover. If a larger man enters a woman too deeply, it will be painful. Not pull my hair sexy painful, just painful. Before we get to positions, there are a few things you should know.

Foreplay is more important if you are large. You want your lady to be completely turned on before you enter her. Lube also becomes more important if you are larger. Even if your lady is wet, lube is a good idea. Extra lubrication will help things go smoothly for you and your partner.


This position can be great if you have a big one, but you need to pay attention to your partner. It doesn’t allow for as deep penetration as other positions. You should start of slow and gentle, and then slowly increase your speed and thrusting. If your woman starts to look uncomfortable, you are probably thrusting too deeply. A woman can also help keep the man from going to deep with her thighs in this position.

Modified Cowgirl

Cowgirl is touted as being great for guys with large cocks, because the woman is in control of the speed and thrusting. If she can’t comfortably sit down on it, the position doesn’t work so well. In this case the woman can lean forward, or lay on top of you. This way the penis doesn’t penetrate as deeply, and she still has all the control. The added bonus of this position is you can look into each others eyes and even get in some passionate kisses.

Double Decker

In this position, the man lays down on the bed. The woman then lays on top of him with her eyes toward the ceiling. This allows the man to enter her, but he can’t do any hard thrusting in this position. This is a great position to take it slow and easy, which can be a huge turn on.

Vaginal Insecurity

Today’s society puts so much pressure on men and women to be this predetermined version of perfect. The fact is no one is, but today’s technology makes it easy to take less than perfect bodies and remove any imperfections. Add to that the amount of people that have plastic surgery or go on extreme diets to meet this unattainable idea, and it is hard for anyone to feel they measure up.

We hear a lot about how obsessed men are with their penises. It may not be talked about as much, but women are also concerned about the adequacy of their vaginas. Is it tight enough? Are my labia too big? Will it feel good for him? Is it my fault if he doesn’t seem to enjoy it? There is so much pressure on women to have extra tight virginal looking vaginas.

Let’s be honest here. A woman’s vagina will not look the same as it did her first time after 10 to 20 years of sex. Throw in a kid or two, and yeah, you will see some changes. So let’s take an honest look at the vagina. What men really think about it, What really makes a difference in how good the sex feels, and the most common insecurities for women.


Labiaplasty is on the rise. This is when someone has plastic surgery on their labia ( the inner and outer lips on the outside of the vagina). It is on the rise. While some women do it for medical reasons, over 30% of women do it solely for cosmetic reasons. Vaginal insecurity has been around as long as penal insecurity, but the rise of porn does seem to have more women questioning if their labia measures up to society’s standard.

The truth is they come in all shapes and sizes. Our uniqueness is part of what makes us beautiful. How exciting would it be to a man if every woman he got undressed looked exactly the same? How can a woman feel truly unique and beautiful when she looks just like everyone else?

The internet is full of women posting questions about their labia? Is it normal? Does it look ok? It doesn’t look like the ones I’ve seen on TV, does this mean there is something wrong with me? Unless there is a serious issue down there, if you ask a man, they will probably tell you they have never met a vagina they didn’t like. They aren’t measuring your labia anymore than you are measuring their penis. When it comes to preference, some men like small labia and some like bigger labia. Some men like small boobs and some men like bigger boobs. However, if the size of your labia is causing actual issues in your relationship, either your partner is shallow and should be kicked to the curb, or you need to focus on loving yourself as you are. I promise your labia are just fine.

Vaginal Tightness

Just like we have all been sold this lie about women needing an 8 inch dick to get any satisfaction, we have also been told that if a woman isn’t virginally tight a man won’t enjoy sex. This seems to concern women more than any other issue with their vagina. Is it tight enough? Is it as good as his last lover?

The truth is everyone’s vagina feels differently, and different men prefer different things. What is the greatest vagina ever to one man may not be a big deal to the next. It’s all about personal preference. Some women are born bigger than others, but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. For men that are larger, a vagina that is too tight can actually be painful. Yes they want to be able to feel you around their cock. No, they do not want it so tight they can’t get it in or it cuts the circulation off.

If you are insecure about the tightness of your vagina, you should evaluate how you feel during sex. Do you feel it? Would you like it to be tighter so you feel more sensation? You have the power to do so. If you truly enjoy it, you can be pretty sure your partner does too. If you are still insecure about it, ask them. If they say they love it just the way it is, rock on with your sex goddess self. If they say it could be tighter, then you can do something about it.

That being said, if a man puts you down because of your vagina, he isn’t worth your time. There is a huge difference between having a loving honest conversation about your level of sexual satisfaction, and having your partner put you down because you aren’t tight enough. If that is the case, just assume it’s them and not you, and move on.

Why It Isn’t as Tight As It Used To Be

If you are one of many women who realize that it just isn’t as tight as it used to be down there, it is probably one of two reasons. Childbirth stretches the vaginal muscles a great deal, and they do go back to their original shape. However depending on your age or how many children you have had vaginally, it may not go back exactly the same as it was. The second reason is age. As women get older, the vagina does tend to lose some of its tightness.

What Doesn’t Cause It to Be Lose

Contrary to popular belief losing your virginity doesn’t make your vagina lose. Having sex with multiple partners or someone larger than average doesn’t either. It may be loose for a few days, but it quickly goes back to its original size. Genetics do play a part. Just like with all our other body parts, we are genetically disposed to be a certain size, and some women are naturally tighter than others. This is usually not enough to have any bearing on how enjoyable the sex will be.

Vaginal Rejuvenation

Vaginal rejuvenation is another type of plastic surgery. The result is it is supposed to restore the vagina to the same tightness it had in youth or prepregnancy. It combines vaginal tightening and contouring with the labiaplasty. These are some of the cons of this procedure, taken from a plastic surgery website.

  • Bladder Injury or Hemorrhage
  • Adjustment for you and your partner due to your new tightness
  • You may have to find new positions to make sex comfortable

Doesn’t sound like much fun to me, but 87% of women who have this procedure do it for purely aesthetic reasons. There were over 53,000 procedures performed in 2009 worldwide. This was a 50% increase from the previous year. A British study found that 40% of women who had consulted with a plastic surgeon still wanted the procedure after being told they were perfectly normal. In the U.S., more than 5,000 of these procedures were performed in 2013. This is 5 times more than the year prior. Vaginal Rejuvenation has earned the title of being the fastest growing plastic surgery procedure.


If you feel the need for a tighter vagina, but don’t want any surgical procedures, you can do kegels. These are very simple to do, and are associated with more benefits than just tightening your love hole. Kegels tighten your pelvic floor muscles. Before we get into how to do them, let’s look at the benefits.

Things That Can Cause Loose Pelvic Floor Muscles

  • Pregnancy
  • Childbirth
  • Age
  • Weight Gain

Who Should Do Kegels

  • Those who are pregnant
  • Those who have recently given birth
  • Those with bladder incontinence
  • Those who have or are trying to avoid uterine prolapse
  • Those whose jobs require heavy lifting
  • Healthy women who would like to stay tight as they age

Benefits of Kegels

  • Better bladder control (prevents bladder leakage)
  • Tighter vagina and more enjoyable sex
  • Stronger orgasms
  • Preventing organ prolapse


How to Do Kegels

The simplest way to begin doing kegels is when you have to pee. Try to stop your flow after it starts, and continue doing this throughout your urination. When you do kegels you are contracting your pelvic floor muscles. It can be hard to find the correct muscles to use when you begin doing them. These are the same muscles that control your urine flow, and that is why it is suggested to begin in this way.

Once you become accustomed to using these muscles, you can do them anytime and anywhere. When you begin doing them, you need to hold it for two to four seconds, and do them between five and ten times. As you get used to them, you can  increase the frequency of the exercise. You can also do them when you are having sex, especially if you are on top. Men usually find the squeezing and releasing to be very pleasurable.

Other Male Body Issues

Men are insecure about more than just their penis size. While we tend to think of women being insecure with their bodies, men have the same struggles. Here we will look at other parts of the body that men are insecure about.

Are Men Really Insecure With Their Bodies?

According to a new survey of over 1,000 men between 20 and 30, the answer is yes. ¼ of the men surveyed said they wanted to have sex with the lights off because they were insecure about their bodies. 64% of men said they were ashamed of their stomach, and 54% of men said they felt some other body part (triceps, pecs, etc.) were inadequate compared to other men they knew.

This is a fairly new phenomenon. While penis size has always been a source of insecurity, in past times men didn’t overly concern themselves with their appearance. It was in fact considered manly to not be concerned with your looks, and too much consideration or effort in the looks department could start raising some questions about your “manhood”. Today’s men, however, seem to equate the rock hard models they see on TV, magazines, and porn, as the pinnacle of manhood. Men who spend hours in the gym every day and have a hairless or almost hairless body are thought to be what women are looking for.

Like many of the other issues we’ve discussed here, you have been sold a lie. Some women find the Arnold Schwarzenegger type attractive, but there are lots of women out there who want a real man. Someone they can cuddle with and not feel like they are sleeping with a rock. Someone who doesn’t have a smaller pants size than they do. Maybe even someone with a hairy chest that lets them know he is a man.

Men with a few extra pounds are desired over a rock hard body by a large percentage of the female population. Besides females value character and personality over physical characteristics. So if you really want to make yourself more attractive, maybe you should work on that.

Being In Shape Doesn’t Make Men Immune

You may think that only guys that are overweight or have a beer belly are insecure about their bodies. Unfortunately, even men in great shape can be afraid to take their shirt off. One study that one out of five men who worked out and were considered to be in shape were uncomfortable taking their shirts off. More recent studies were even more alarming. According to a more recent study, half of men don’t want to have their picture taken or be seen in swimwear. More than half of the men surveyed said their body didn’t have enough muscle, and more men than women were willing to trade one year of their life for the perfect body.

The Evolution of G.I. Joe

We’ve all heard about Barbie’s unattainable standard for women, but what about G.I. Joe? It is after all the male equivalent of the barbie doll. Turns out G.I. Joe has bulked up and slimmed down over the years, setting a nearly unattainable standard as well. In 1964, he had the equivalent of a 32 inch waist and 12 inch biceps. This is doable. In 1991, he was sporting a six pack and a 29 inch waist. His arms had grown to 16 ½ inches. In short, G.I. Joe discovered steroids.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder

If you are so concerned with your appearance that it affects your daily life, you could be suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder. This condition can affect men and women, and is like a sister condition to anorexia. In BMD, instead of obsessing about weight, you obsess over a specific body part. This flaw can be real ( and much smaller than you believe it is) or imagined altogether. Signs of this disorder include:

  • Repetitive checking of: mirror, imagined flaw, grooming
  • Avoidance of: mirrors or having picture taken
  • Multiple: medical visits or medical procedures to correct flaw

If you are suffering from this condition, there are treatment options available. You can find more information about the disorder and treatment options here.

 Does It Matter To Women – What Women Really Look For When Choosing A Mate

Does your body really matter in terms of attracting a partner? What are women looking for? Here we will answer those questions based on the type of men women actually choose, not what they say they are looking for.

Interestingly, very good looking men may have a harder time finding a partner. Men with very masculine faces ( larger jawbones and cheekbones) may be attractive, are associated with negative character traits. These include things like dominance, dishonesty, and coldness. These traits would make them less desirable as a partner.

Men with more feminine faces are considered more desirable as a potential partner. Men with large eyes, a large chin, and a prominent nose and cheekbones are considered more desirable. Large smiles and nice clothing also increased a man’s chances of being found attractive.

However, this varies with a woman’s cycle. When she is at peak fertility, she will find more masculine and dominant men more attractive. Some experts suggest that this causes women to stray outside their stable relationship to seek better genes.

Size Matters

Many studies have shown that women are attracted to taller men. Some scientists believe this goes back to the caveman days when taller men were more able to protect their mate. The majority of women prefer a man that is taller than they are. If you are vertically challenged, developing good posture can help, as can choosing a pair of shoes that slightly enhances your height.

It even has an effect on presidential elections. Taller men are more likely to get the most votes, and more likely to be reelected.


Most women are attracted to beard stubble. It signifies masculinity and maturity, and it is also part of the bad boy image that so many women find attractive.

The Deeper the Better

A deeper voice is also considered more attractive. A deeper voice is associated with masculinity, as well as being physically strong. If you aren’t happy with your voice, you can actually sign up for speaking or singing lessons to learn how to speak with a deeper voice. When women fantasize about men, many times it includes the man whispering something in her ear in a husky baritone.

Athletic Body Type

Women find men with a strong upper body and a narrow waist to be the most attractive body type. Things like huge muscles and a well defined six pack weren’t nearly as important as a generally healthy and athletic looking body. Confidence in the man’s body was more important to women than a perfect body.

Slow it Down

Women find men with slower movements and speech more attractive. Slower movements signify confidence, being at ease in the situation, and being comfortable with your body.

Sense of Humor

A sense of humor is a big turn on for women, and it is considered a good asset in a potential partner. Researchers say that it signifies intellect and social intelligence. However, women find men who have a straight face more attractive than men who smile a lot.

Social Value

Women love men who are social. The guy who has lots of friends and is the life of the party.


Women find men in leadership roles attractive. Being the leader in your job or in a social group makes you more attractive to the opposite sex. It shows good social skills, and many other traits that women find attractive in a potential mate. If you aren’t in the inner circle in your professional life, find a social group or club that you can join and obtain some type of leadership role.

Women’s Body Insecurities

Just like men, women have their own set of body insecurities. With the media and porn portraying bodies that are unattainable without a personal chef and personal trainer, this isn’t surprising. 25 years ago beauty contest winners weighed an average of 8% less than the average woman. Today that number is 23% less. Women are also more likely to judge other women based on their appearance than men are. You are much more likely to hear a woman commenting on another woman’s body flaws. You very rarely hear another man say his butt just doesn’t look good in those jeans. However with women these comments are quite common.

It stems from the fact that women are just as competitive as men, but in different ways. While men may compete in everything from sports to who drives the nicer car, women usually compete based on looks and who has the most attractive partner ( which they also associate with how they look).

What are women most insecure about? And does it really matter to men?

Women Don’t See Themselves as They Really Are

Research has shown that up to 80% of women view themselves as larger than they really are. This sort of distorted body image is also present in how women view other physical traits or their attractiveness in general. Basically, they see themselves in a much more critical light than anyone else, and may even imagine flaws.

Waist, Hips, Thighs

This is the most common area of concern for females. They look in the mirror and obsess over those few extra pounds. Or they think their hips or too wide. Or their thighs are too big ( especially if they touch when standing up). The simple fact of the matter is these women are usually average, and many have a healthy weight. Yet they keep seeking this unattainable lie that the media has sold them. They believe anything over 120 pounds is overweight, no matter your height. If you don’t have a completely flat stomach, you are overweight. Your hips should be slim, and if you don’t have an inch gap between your thighs, you better grab a thighmaster.

What is average

The bad news is the average woman today is quite a bit bigger than she was in 1950. The good news is there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The average woman today vs in 1950

  • Waist size: Today (34-35 in.) 1950 (24-25 in.)
  • Height: Today (5’4) 1950 (5’3)
  • Weight: Today (140-150) 1950 ( 120)


Body Type Matters

You should aim for a reasonable size for your body type. Some bodies look great at a size 2. Others look like they need to eat a few cheeseburgers, because they are clearly starving. If you have a small frame, good for you. You shouldn’t feel the need to try to gain more weight to be curvy and appealing to the opposite sex. If you were born with a curvier (and heavier) body type than rock it. Don’t allow anyone, especially not the media, to tell you that you aren’t beautiful.

If you are genuinely overweight, then that is something you may choose to work on for your health and self confidence. However, you should choose reasonable goals. If you lose too much weight, you may be unattractive to the average male.

What Do Men Find Attractive

The thing women are most concerned about (and what causes them to obsess over their attractiveness) is being attractive and sexually desirable to men. What do men really find attractive in women? Not surprisingly, it isn’t always what Hollywood and the media try to sell you on.

Waist to Hip Ratio

The specific size of your waist and hips aren’t nearly as important as your waist to hip ratio. The most desirable waist to hip ratio is 7:10. This means men like for a woman’s waist to be smaller than her hips. For all you ladies concerned about having big hips, don’t be. Men think it’s sexy. This also means that you shouldn’t strive for a size zero waist, but a healthy balance between your waist and hip size. If we take the average waist size of today’s woman, which is 34 inches, then the ideal hip size would be 44-45 inches. If you are interested in determining your own waist to hip ratio, you can find an easy to use calculator here.

High Voice

Men are attracted to women with a higher pitched voice. It signifies youth, as well as a small body size. It is also perceived as being more feminine, which men find attractive. If you find yourself in a lower register, you can always take voice lessons to reach a higher pitch.

Long Hair

Men love women with long hair. A 2008 study found that 43% of men found long wavy hair to be the sexiest. However, shine was more important than length, with 73% of men finding shiny hair sexier than non glossy hair. Healthy hair is associated with good overall health, femininity, and fertility. In today’s culture, women with long hair tend to be more conservative, which may also be attractive to men. That being said, men also like women with their own sense of style. If you prefer a short and sassy cut, then rock it. Men will find it sexy if you wear it well.


Men find women who smile more attractive. This makes them seem friendly and more approachable. It also means that they are generally happy and enjoyable to be around. It also means that they are generally easy to appease, and this is important to man’s sense of security. Men want to be able to make their woman happy.

Less Makeup

Men like women who wear make up, but not too much. The most attractive makeup to a man is eye shadow. Other makeup is fine, as long as it looks natural. Men like the “I woke up looking this hot” look when it comes to cosmetics and hairstyles.

Personal Survey

I conducted an anonymous survey. I only got a few results, but here are my findings. Please note that this was a very small survey, and may not represent the views of the majority of people.

Men Said

  • Penis size was very important
  • An athletic body type as important
  • Slightly concerned about their body
  • Small vagina was very important
  • Small labia was very important
  • Large perky breasts were somewhat important
  • Half of them wouldn’t change anything about their partner’s body

Women Said

  • Penis size was not very important
  • An athletic body type not very important
  • Slightly concerned about their body
  • Small vagina was not very important
  • Small labia was not very important
  • Large perky breasts were not important
  • Half of them wouldn’t change anything about their partner’s body


Everyone has some type of body insecurity. Some can be improved, and some can be worked around. You should love your body, regardless of what it looks like, and your special someone should too.




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